I’m kind of beating myself up lately for not doing more to nurture friendships when I was younger. My birthday is this week and I realized I don’t really have anyone that would care about it like I see from other girls on social media. Like when girls post a bunch of bday stories from their friends.
The few friends I have are newly married and live out of state with their husbands now. My best friend has explicitly said once “I’m really trying to find other couples for husband and I to do things with”, so I feel like I’m not an ideal person for them to spend time with.
I want to do more to make new friendships and have community, but where can I go to meet other women? I’m single and 26. I don’t go to bars, especially alone, because I have some trauma from alcoholics in my life.
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I think most of these replies are best started with what do you like to do? Or what hobbies or interests are you interested in trying? Start with those & meet people who have shared interests with you.
When I moved to wear I live now 8 years ago I joined a book club for women in their 20s/30s that later formed into a weekly trivia team, an anti-racist group, and an environmental group. Those were the basis of how I knew most people for years. Since that I time I’ve expanded and met new people just being active socially through those networks I created even though none of those groups exist anymore locally and many of the original people I knew moved. Some were also made through my roomate doing an open mic and her making other local friends.
Hope that helps!
Ugh, the couple types who want to mainly befriend other couples are pretty annoying. As someone who was married, things work better when each person just makes their own friends, not trying to seek out other couples. That was a really uncalled for thing for her to say to you.
I personally use Bumble BFF and made plenty of girl friends through the app.
Find a hobby that requires you to go in-person to a meeting/class/practice at least once a week. And then keep showing up. Keep showing up even if you feel like it’s all small talk. Show up for months. Years. And keep talking, small at first and then as you get to know people better remember the stuff they said and ask about it. Keep talking even if you think you’re doing all the talking.
I’ve met good friends through book groups, through work, and by joining a band. But none of those women became friends overnight, or even over months. Adult friendships take a lot of time and effort
Agree that it depends what you like to do! I’ve joined a yoga and then tea time, book club, and walking group to make friends over the years. Usually it’s also other people trying to make friends so it’s a welcoming group.
Look in your local Reddit sub, try meetups, google activities that interest you. I’m also just super forward when I find someone I vibe with. I’ll ask them to coffee. Sometimes I get rejected but I met one of my closest friends that way so it was worth it!
Through hobbies and interests
I realize this isn’t answering your question, but I recommend continuing to connect with your friends out of state despite their differences in life circumstances. While you can enjoy yourself on your birthday with new acquaintances you just met at a Meetup group, a yoga class, or an app, it may be worth while to at least arrange a video call with people who you know care about you.
Sending love. First of all, I have the same old same old advice: get off social media. Second of all, that was unkind of your friend.
animal shelter stuff
pet fostering
house rabbit society in particular has 1000000000000000000000 women