What are the chances of you staying in a sexless relationship?

r/

What are the chances of you staying in a sexless relationship?

Comments

  1. AsleepUnit2123 Avatar

    Zero (illness and injury, etc., aside)

  2. SubMeHarderThx Avatar
  3. Zorgas Avatar

    Pretty high. People have this idea that sex is just laying on the floor waiting for anyone to pick it up, yet single people tend to have far less sex than married people. (Yes I know we’re talking about sexless aka zero).

    There’s always my hands. There’s always waiting.

    Now if you said ‘loveless’ or ‘intimacyless’ then yeah, the marriage is over.

  4. Totallycasual Avatar

    I think i could stay in it if there were still a lot of love and trust in the relationship, the older i get, the less i care about sex to be honest, it’s just easier to masturbate a lot of the time lol

  5. unset_microwave Avatar

    I mean, I’ve got a wand. If I am in love, and my partner chooses or cannot have sex, I’m not going to necessarily call it quits. I can take care of myself.

  6. Esc777 Avatar

    I mean eventually we’re gonna get too old to do it. 

  7. Brilliant_Ad_3661 Avatar

    I would stay because I believe it’s something that can worked through. I believe marriages are sexless for a solvable reason.

  8. PrinceRicard Avatar

    High. I’ve been in one for 7+ years, I truly love her.

    But we’re both troubled by past relationships (she has pretty much only bad experience, and not much of it at all) and she also developed a chronic fatigue issue 5-6 years back. Recently we have started working on ourselves and are planning on making up for lost time and lost life, I can feel my pep coming back, we talked VERY openly just last week and honestly even at 35 I can feel us both kicking our feet and being 18 again.

  9. DetailEcstatic7235 Avatar

    zero. like none. i left.

  10. Thankful4the Avatar

    Sexless relationship 100% as long as everything else is good I can get sex somewhere else, even from myself bc I have hands and $ for lubes,toys,etc..,etc..

  11. ugh_here_we_go Avatar

    Zero. I was in one and I eventually left, after about 6 years of constant rejection. I think it’s shitty for one partner to unilaterally decide celibacy for the relationship.

  12. Business-Stretch2208 Avatar

    It depends on the situation. If the spark just died, I would probably leave. If my boyfriend became unable to have sex due to physical or mental health, I would stay

  13. CeilingCatProphet Avatar

    If it is an open relationship, I can see it

  14. WizardWithABong Avatar

    I mean I’ve taken care of myself just fine I can continue to do the same.

  15. Chizu-pan Avatar

    Zero percent chance-

    Sex is something important to me in any relationship, especially in terms of getting to know my limits/likes and my partner’s as well- My boyfriend feels similarly about sex too, so we wouldn’t be able to make it work if it were sexless-

  16. mrcandyman Avatar

    0 . I watched my dad slowly lose his mind because of it.

  17. Witchmother- Avatar

    higher than what people think

  18. anhing Avatar

    personally, zero. i’m lucky enough that my wife and i have the same “love language.” we need intimacy once in a while.

  19. blueberry-muffins1 Avatar

    If there’s love there then it’s fine.

  20. Littlebigdicc Avatar

    I mean I love sex, both for the literal pleasure giving aspect and for the intimate physical connection it provides between me and my partner

    Is a relationship better with sex? 101% yes, won’t argue against that

    But

    I also think that removing the partnered sexual aspect out of it does not mean it’s a dysfunctional or doomed relationship, it isn’t always the glue that makes a relationship worth preserving

    The idea a sexless but otherwise loving and happy partnered relationship is impossible or not worth it I think is mistaken

    Sex is the be all end all for some and that’s perfectly valid but it’s not the universal truth

    I think sex isn’t everything and if everything else is good, you have lots of common interests, you’re happy in each others presence, you have lots of non-sexual physical intimacy, and the only missing component is the sex, I do think that can be fine and isn’t a reason to throw the whole thing away 😐

    Everyone’s different so there’s no one “right” answer, but personally I’m on the side that depending on the particular people involved, it’s worth staying in, and I apply that to myself and my own relationship

    Preferably I’d have everything plus the sex but if I had to go without it, I would without hesitation

  21. No-Difference-2847 Avatar

    About the same i guess,  sex is just symptomatic of a healthy relationship,  generally.  

  22. Visual_Investm3nt Avatar

    Will she still do sexual favors? If so, yes. If no, then my partner isn’t caring about my needs so…

  23. Wonderful_Lie6698 Avatar

    I stayed with my ex gf for 3 years from HS to college and not having sex with her. We had breaks in our relationship and during those breaks… I had so much sex. When we’re back together it would be sexless and tons of wet underwear from the grinding. She ended up breaking up with me because she felt we both weren’t in the same “wavelength” like no shit. I blame myself ofcourse bc I stayed in the relationship knowing that before her I had tons of sex but I guess I was in love with her in a sense of feeling the need to not have sex with her and being a sexless relationship would help us be a strong relationship? But wild times indeed.

  24. heavenandhellhoratio Avatar

    Absolutely zero, that’s called a friendship not a relationship.

  25. ConfinedCrow Avatar

    High, I’m on the asexual spectrum

  26. Krautthatshouts Avatar

    Never again. If I’m in a relationship where it becomes a pattern again I won’t tolerate that level of disrespect. It’s one thing to be rejected constantly when your partner gets it elsewhere but makes you think you are the problem. To make you feel worthless and depressed within the relationship is complete shit and waste of time. Then feeling like they are the shit to get it elsewhere when I could do the same if I wanted to. It’s such bs. 

  27. AnonymousRedyh25 Avatar

    The only way is for it to be friendship, part of how I fall in love also includes intimacy and above all that it is mutual, so if you don’t want that with me, cool, but don’t ask me for a love relationship because the only thing I could offer without sex is my friendship.

  28. Intrepid_Fig_3071 Avatar

    Depends on the circumstances. If she clearly says in the dating phase that she don’t want to have sex with me, I’m out… If I’m already happen to be in a loving relationship and she just cannot having sex with me for medical reasons etc., I’m fine with that.

  29. myotheraccount2023 Avatar

    100% unfortunately.

  30. Make_It_Sing Avatar

    Zero obviously

  31. imaginarycocunut Avatar

    What a very nice question

  32. cryoK Avatar

    very high im ace

  33. Due-Astronaut3802 Avatar

    Less than zero. Take care of your business, or I am justified in finding someone who will. If there is a medical issue, make arrangements. If you just don’t care to fuck me anymore, let me go no harm, no foul. No bullshit excuses about differing libidos or the cliche “desire declines over time.” That’s how the politically correct enable shitty behavior. How many people are on the planet Earth? Enough that I am guaranteed to find at least one who will never pull the cut off.

  34. SpringFell Avatar

    Zero.

    If she insists on monogamy and refuses to have sex with me, I’ll have it with someone else and still be monogamous.

  35. SodasWrath Avatar

    Ill take it into my own hands

  36. MsMommyMemer Avatar

    Very little sex, but with emotional depth? Sure.
    Absolutely none? Unlikely.

  37. Texas-Son-99 Avatar

    50/50…it’s one less thing I have to do to keep someone happy, and honestly I don’t really care about sex that much to begin with. With that said, I do still enjoy the birthday blow job or spontaneous foreplay-esk stuff in unfitting settings.

  38. OnlyYourDemon Avatar

    I don’t think anyone that values sex as a necessary connection to their partner could stay in a sexless marriage without getting depressed.
    I would feel so unloved and wonder what I did wrong; I can not imagine being happy with them for the rest of my life. Some of us genuinely need the release with our partner to feel connected.

  39. TheKrakenHunter Avatar

    So many zeros. But what happens when your relationship ‘becomes’ sexless. How important is sex versus the time you’ve spent with your partner (possibly the mother or father of your children). That’s a much harder question to answer.

  40. _loveherwild_ Avatar

    With my wife? 100%. She is the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and that doesn’t change based on what we do or don’t do in the bedroom. I want her for the rest of my life, regardless.

  41. DisciplineHot7374 Avatar

    22 years and still going…

  42. Azeeti Avatar

    Depends, I intend to keep my family relationships strictly platonic, potential partners? Yes why else would I date you? To be friends? If we are in a romantic relationship yes its required otherwise we are just friends and you can buy your own stuff like rent, car bill, phone bill, friends don’t use other friends like that.

    The whole point is having the most intimate moment shared with a loved one. That is the most intimate moment.

    Having kids and sex are the only reasons for a relationship otherwise what you described is called a friendship Not a relationship. There are friendships that involve sex that aren’t relationships but the opposite cannot be said.

  43. LittleMint677 Avatar

    Zero.

    Having said that, does 3 or 4 times a year count as sexless?

  44. UnloadTheBacon Avatar

    Well I’m currently sexless and single so tbh a sexless relationship would be an upgrade.

  45. StructuralFailure Avatar

    Saw a study that about 15% of happy relationships are sexless. So it’s possible, but personally I couldn’t do it

  46. Ok-Teach708 Avatar

    maybe 10%? Im a woman, with high libido and i need my sexual life. So if you don’t want it even months after dating, I’d probably assume that something is wrong with your thing.

  47. ChromeWhipLover Avatar

    None. Sex is part of relationship. No sex = go back to being single unless there is a medical problem in her part that is salvageable which I will put up with.

  48. BellaSparkle_x Avatar

    zero chances, like not at all

  49. MidnightWolverine Avatar

    Low chance to none

  50. darklorddoone Avatar

    Pretty much in one now lol. But i got my right hand. sometime i use my left hand to make the right jealous.

  51. Deekers Avatar

    I went 7 years with my ex, not even a hug or hand hold or anything. She beat me down emotionally to the point it didn’t even matter to me anymore

  52. Statakaka Avatar

    That’s called a friendship

  53. nowaynolife Avatar

    It would be very, very complicated! For love, I could stay but I will have to find sex elsewhere (escort, mistress). However, this will not be satisfactory and risks being grounds for a breakup.

  54. Soopercow Avatar

    Apparently quite high, younger me would have said 0%

  55. Vizth Avatar

    Pretty good, wife’s libido stopped existing after she started antidepressants. It’s a fair trade off for having her stable and actually mostly enjoying life otherwise. We’re both happy and support eachother.

  56. Winterspawn1 Avatar

    That really depends on how strong my feelings are. I could do it for the right person.

  57. scallywagsworld Avatar

    Zero if she ain’t putting out I’ll fuck her bestie and she ain’t hearing from me again 

  58. TheDukeofArgyll Avatar

    Pretty high if I had kids. Zero if I didn’t.

  59. Wowzinha Avatar

    The only healthy answer should be 0% unless youre both asexual.

  60. Wowzinha Avatar

    The only healthy answer should be 0% unless youre both asexual.

  61. Verpetzenfetzt Avatar

    Null Comma null.

  62. drunky_crowette Avatar

    Why would I stay with someone I’m incompatible with?

  63. Blueberry_Clouds Avatar

    Zero, even if I’m waiting til marriage I’m gonna do it at least once

  64. Alive_But_Empty Avatar

    100%. I’m not going to abandon the commitment I made.

  65. Ok_Commission1579 Avatar

    -20. I’m after heart failure and they want to put inside of me a defibrillator. And I still don’t imagine not having sex. I prefer to die with a smile on my face. I know I’ll get there and maybe I’ll get down, but whoever doesn’t take risks, doesn’t drink champagne.

  66. G-T-R-F-R-E-A-K-1-7 Avatar

    None. Why be in a relationship if you cant completely connect?

  67. Next_Explanation_657 Avatar

    Agree with younger me would have said no chance, after 30 years together, it’s really not that important.

    We do are own thing most of the time. Shes a busy body, I’m still coming off a big bout with C, and am not the project oriented type guy. Do separate bedrooms.

    We travel.as a family and hang by the pool a lot in the summers. We both have unlimited freedom, so I travel a lot with buddies, and hang out with my original gang from elementary-high school.

    If I wanted to she’d be down, but honestly it’s just easier. Old lazy in a nice routine. I guess knowing it’s not a problem if I had the itch makes a big difference, and we love each other, and our kids to death. Life is good.

  68. Dependent_Mix_2028 Avatar

    High, I hate having sex and would love a sexless relationship

  69. spatialgranules12 Avatar

    No divorce where I’m from so 100%

  70. No-Archer-21 Avatar

    I didn’t. I got divorced. I tried to make things work, but after a year of various problems sex was the least on the list, but it still made the list.

  71. resh78255 Avatar

    can’t have a sexless relationship if you can’t have a relationship at all. modern problems require modern solutions 😀

  72. Waltuh_Whyte Avatar

    Had sex once in 3 months official. Chances are high, hoping things turn around, and we spend more time together and become more comfortable to be more intimate more often.

    I only see my girlfriend about once a week if that due to extremely busy schedules

  73. 2028976756 Avatar

    Very high. I have schizophrenia and I feel like I cannot give consent to sex because I am so drugged. So, I am taking a break from sex right now.

  74. VirtualCat420 Avatar

    Zero. Sex is a very important and crucial thing for me :/

  75. rayjaymor85 Avatar

    Would depend on why it’s sexless.

    If my wife developed a medical condition that made sex uncomfortable or painful then that’s one thing.

    If my wife decides it’s not something she wants to do or put effort into investigating why she doesn’t want to then to be honest that would lead to a conversation for sure.

  76. Livewire____ Avatar

    Not sexless but very rare. Neither of us mind that this is the case.

    It’s overrated.

  77. linnzzed Avatar

    high i guess, i honestly don’t care for sex in a relationship though i don’t mind it either

  78. SinsOfElmo Avatar

    Pretty good, as long as she is a genuinely good person I’ll be fine, I think I’m in one now, (for now?) and I’m okay with it cause that’s not an important part to me, I can hold her, I can hug her, that’s enough for me

  79. Xarysa Avatar

    It depends… im married, it would come down to why my wife and I lost our intimacy. If she got sick or some other reason that was clinical I would stay without hesitation.

    But if she lost her desire for intimacy for me permanently because our love had waned in some way that we could never work on and fix together I dont know…its hard to imagine knowing we had a problem that large and couldn’t fix it and still being happy with each other for the rest of our lives.

  80. Monk715 Avatar

    Close to zero, but not for the reasons you might think. If I were to date again, I would actually prefer a relationship to be sexless, however finding a partner who is just as happy with that as me and whom we have a bond and mutual respect with is almost impossible I feel

  81. Bloodllust Avatar

    I don’t care. I hate sex and the pressure that comes with it. Someone teases me with an end of the day thing? Anxiety all day. It’s a very in the moment thing. I care more about closeness, cuddling, and such than sex. (I’m probably the problem coming from that).

  82. StarterCake Avatar

    I’ve been in a relationship for two and a bit years now. My partner came out as asexusl a few months in and out intimacy has dropped to almost nonexistent.

    We still love each other, still love being with each other.. but it is a struggle. Especially if someone is talking to me about their sex life…

  83. J-Fearless Avatar

    Zero. You can get by for a while at first, but it starts eating at you eventually.

    There may be some people who are able to do it if they are inclined towards low sex drive – but even then the lack of intimacy is going to upend things eventually.

  84. ProfRaptor Avatar

    Nil. My wife is a bit of a nympho.

  85. PwedePa Avatar

    High if everything else is satisfactory (mutual love and respect and basically sex is the only missing component).

    I say this even if I’m a highly sexual person.

    80/20 rule or smthn like that

  86. AssistanceOver9350 Avatar

    If she lives me 100%faithfully 
    I don’t mind going sexless for rest of the life 

  87. someoneinWis Avatar

    100%. As we grow older, things happen. People get sick, injured. Everyone will face times when sex is just not an option. I think it’s pretty shallow vows that anyone would bow out simply over no sex.

  88. Sangmas Avatar

    0.000.0.000000%

  89. Krimzon94 Avatar

    Honestly zero. I have a pretty high sex drive and while I can easily masturbate for the majority of the time, I still need it sometimes. At times my relationship has gotten to the point of once a month but we’ve had discussions about this and it’s now usually once a week, and I’m fine with that.

    But I don’t think I could wait several months or even years. My love language is physical and that’s just how it is.

  90. KinkyButSweet Avatar

    Decent because our lifestyle allows me to get it elsewhere. We’ve been ENM/poly for 25+ years now. When my wife’s libido was temporarily inaccessible due to perimenopause, I had plenty of girlfriends to keep my libido healthily satisfied. Now that her girlfriend is living with us, it’s actually reawakened her libido, so a dying bedroom turned into frequent threesomes. There’s always hope.

  91. Deacon_Ix Avatar

    Last 4 years up to the death of my wife from cancer.

  92. sirGarto Avatar

    When my partner became abuse because of their drinking, I had multiple talks with then how it’s hard to be intimate or engage is sex with then if they were drunk. They acknowledge they were the abuser and promised to be better. I knew it was a lie because their drinking ruled their world. I stopped engaging completely and would turn them down when they were intoxicated. Due to a series of events, it was apparent they had found someone else. After almost 5 years they decided to end it.
    I guess long story short, slim to none.

  93. JamieTirrock Avatar

    Absolute zero. Was in one for many years. These days usually three to four times a week. Both love and enjoy it. More you get it, more you want it more.

  94. russwestgoat Avatar

    Zilch. If it goes and there’s no effort on both sides to find a solution it’s over

  95. D4T45T0RM06 Avatar

    Opposite of fucked if you do, it should be a decision you both make not one party or the other.

  96. xLunaLovee Avatar

    Never gon’ happen for me

  97. GrahamEcward Avatar

    To be honest if one partner figures they are not physically attracted to another, it is probably the end of it.. How to near yourself to being happy if you don’t want to be all over someone you spend most of your time with?

  98. TAbathtime Avatar

    After being in a sexless relationship for ten years previously, 0% am I doing that again.

  99. Zhuinden Avatar

    If you do it just to be all fancy instead of for having a real reason like physical disability etc. then it’s just a disrespectful waste of time. Been there for longer than shoulda been, wouldn’t do it again. If she’s not into you then she’s just not into you, just unwilling to say it.

  100. SpankThuMonkey Avatar

    None what-so-ever.

    Sex isn’t everything, but a relationship without it sounds miserable. I’d probably seriously resent my partner.

    That is not healthy.

  101. Germangunman Avatar

    My ex shot me down at every turn. Eventually I just quit trying. Took a while before I even started to initiate with my new fiancé.

  102. penguinintheabyss Avatar

    I would say 50%. I can look for sex with other people.

  103. hifhoff Avatar

    High. I think I am somewhere on the asexual spectrum.
    I am pretty upfront about it. Twice a year is more than enough for me.
    I used to try and do it as much as my ex-partner wanted (once a week) but I ended up resenting them and fell out of love with them. Having sex when you don’t want sex is really awful.

    Gotta make sure your sex-drives are matched going into the relationship.

  104. motorcyclecowboy007 Avatar

    Due to uncontrollable circumstances, 100%. Maybe I’ll get lucky and come across a friend with benefits.

  105. Jakesworld Avatar

    Almost zero but there are some definite exceptions. If my partner whom I truly loved had health issues suddenly which impacted intimacy, I feel like I could still make it work

  106. dontpunchthebaby Avatar

    Yeah I wouldn’t be up for that.

  107. Attacke1 Avatar

    Seeing as I want children of my own…

  108. Rich_Satisfaction609 Avatar

    I was in one, figured it’d come eventually because i loved her deeply and at least at some point she felt the same.

    Idk if i did something wrong or I changed, or maybe she just got bored of me
    but it didn’t work out.

    thing is, now that we split up I don’t really want sex anymore cause if it isn’t with the woman I loved i don’t really see the point.

  109. Evest89 Avatar

    Zero chance.

  110. WhyAreOldPeopleEvil Avatar

    I don’t date Redditors.

  111. Sensitive-Key-8670 Avatar

    I know Reddit hates the idea of offspring but I think that’s the make or break for me. If I have kids and they have a loving mother I’m not going to change “mom and dad” to “mom or dad” over sex.

  112. DaVirus Avatar

    Short term? High, a lot of things can mess up a relationship that need fixing before sex is fully back on. So I will be understanding on that.

    Long term? Zero.

  113. mzkns Avatar

    Zero. Because it’s more than sex that I’m missing out on. For me being sexless is not being seen and accepted for who I am. It’s not being loved the way I deserve to be loved.

  114. Virgil_Ovid_Hawkins Avatar

    absolute 0, I need mine several times a week.

  115. Masih-Development Avatar

    Everyone be saying zero but when they find themselves in one many if not most of you would stay in it.
    Because you don’t have many options in women.

  116. Zacxnerd Avatar

    Zero but at the same time, I fear connecting to someone’s body because it feels to vulnerable. I can’t resist the sensations that I’ve already felt but the idea behind it paralyzes me as I can’t disassociate from whatever my partner’s feeling atp.

  117. Dustyhunger Avatar

    I went 14 years. Divorced and found a guy

  118. ass-to-trout12 Avatar

    I wouldve thought zero. But medical shit happens. Sometimes lady parts malfunction and just dont ever work right again. But there is other stuff you can do. If you love someone you make it work

  119. fortytwoandsix Avatar

    i can easily have no sex without a relationship, so why bother?

  120. No-Nectarine990 Avatar

    4yrs so far for me

  121. hfzelman Avatar

    Pretty high given that I’m not getting laid regardless

  122. Justthefacts6969 Avatar

    Depends on your definition. If she wants to be sexless that’s up to her, I won’t

  123. Shot_Arugula5482 Avatar

    Mate has become Colder than a refrigerator. So I decided to eat beer.

  124. Dakasii Avatar

    Zero (unless we turn 50+ than it be aight)

  125. HermitKing91 Avatar

    None, especially after I’ve just got out of an eight year “twice a month is a bit excessive” relationship. Crushes your spirits and self worth.