I wake up, take thyroid meds, workout and then make coffee. When that’s done, I go wake up my kid. My cat likes to come with and will follow me meowing through my routine. So when it’s time, I say to her, “Come on, let’s go wake up our boy!”
As a religious Jew, my first words every morning are: “Mode ani lefanecha melech chai vekayam…” which means thanking God for another day in my life, and I say this as soon as I get out of bed.
Usually “good morning” because I’m talking to my cats. On the rare occasion I’ll be yelling at the idiots outside to shut up because it’s three in the morning.
I prefer ‘fucks sake’ which translates in a number of ways, but my preference is that reality is so painful that even my fucks ache when I awake (the poetry of pain).
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I usually curse the universe
goddammit i didn’t die in my sleep
“Ugh, not again…”
“please, no”
Fuck me..
Fuck
you’re on my arm. Granted, it’s a small cell.
Ah shit here we go again..
time to make the donuts
Thank you Jesus for this day
Get off my chest.
Well that sleep wasn’t satisfying
Ah shit, here we go again!
Time to suck today’s dick
“good morning baby girl, ohhhh big stretch”
me to my dog every morning.
I’m still tired and sleepy
Here we go again
Fuck… cramp! Cramp! Fuckfuckfuckfuck shhhiiiiiiiiiit
Ouch, what did I do yesterday???
I can’t take it anymore
This really is hell
…ow…..ow..
Ugh
Grab a brush and put a little make-up on
Still here
My cat tends to wake me up so it is
“Oh Shut up Lucifer!”
“Shut up, I’m up.” to my cat meowing at me to feed him
Imma be real it’s usually me cussing my cats out for their zoomies waking me up
Awww shit
I turn to my wife and tell her I love her before getting up.
sigh ughhhh
Fuck. Ow. Sigh why. Oh god no. NO. insert gaspings, weird noises, and body ache noises here
Aww fuck! This sucks.. shit
“Fuck. I woke up.”
Kill me
This shit again.
Not again 😭
“Shit…here we go again”
Thank you God for another day!
Ok! I need one second!
usually “fuck…”
Thank god I don’t have kids.
Yawn followed up by “ pee break!”
“I just fed you!”
dying undead groan
Thanks God! Tomorrow is not promised
*sigh* 😮💨
“Alexa, stop” (my alarm) x3
“Thank you for another day to be grateful”
Once more, into the breach…
“STOP” to turn off the alarm on my Google home mini
Alexa turn off
Fuck me
Fuck
My girlfriend just yawns
It’s usually just “ughh” or a variation of it
“let’s go!”
fart
“mygmgggmgmmgahahhhhgh” accompanied by aggressive stretching
Morning Dear, brace yourself
“Fuck this shit.”
Usually nothing til I tell one of my kiddos “good morning.”
I wake up, take thyroid meds, workout and then make coffee. When that’s done, I go wake up my kid. My cat likes to come with and will follow me meowing through my routine. So when it’s time, I say to her, “Come on, let’s go wake up our boy!”
Let me see your tits
Before I moved – it was ‘fuck’
Now that i moved and i’m in a place I enjoy being it’s “Alrighty here we go”
Ok ok I’m getting up. (Talking to my dog)
Usually it’s the name of whichever cat is on the bed.
I scream because I see someone in the room.
Then I realize it’s my reflection, and I scream even more.
“Morning Handsome Man”
Said to my long distance fiancé when we wake up on FaceTime together every day
“Goddammit. I’m awake again.”
Just a heavy sigh….no words
“Rise n grind.”
I gotta pee
Thank you for another day
This is the day that the lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Is he dead yet?
Why did I wake up again?
“Hi, pretty girl….” To the cat on my chest. I mean, my wife wouldn’t hate it, but sadly she doesn’t climb on me an overwhelming majority of mornings.
“Leave me sleep, I don’t want to wake up”
Ok (need to feed the pets)
Time to make the donuts
Ugh
For fuck sake
“Aww fuck. I don’t want to go to work”.
Fuck me.
Ugh
“Good morning bubs!” To my pupper
Goddammit
groans…no
Rabbit, Rabbit. But only if it’s the first of the month
Oh my God stop barking
Good morning
Oh, God…
It’s too early for this shit
Please let this be my last day.
As a religious Jew, my first words every morning are: “Mode ani lefanecha melech chai vekayam…” which means thanking God for another day in my life, and I say this as soon as I get out of bed.
Bloody hell, my back.
Fuck off cat, it’s not food time yet.
Good morning baby/princess – to my youngest daughter who still prefers to sleep with her mama
Let’s go peepee. To my dog.
The first contact I have is with my dog so it’s usually, ready to go outside, my sweet furry friend?
Ugh…FUCK OFF, I’M UP (to my alarm)
GOOOOD MORNINGGG VIETNAAAAMM!!!!!!!!
“Well, hey beautiful” to my dog. 😉
moaning
Come on then, breakfast time.
Gotta wake up the dog for her insulin and breakfast.
Usually “good morning” because I’m talking to my cats. On the rare occasion I’ll be yelling at the idiots outside to shut up because it’s three in the morning.
I prefer ‘fucks sake’ which translates in a number of ways, but my preference is that reality is so painful that even my fucks ache when I awake (the poetry of pain).
Good morning baby girl!😉 me to me in the mirror😂
“Good morning. Do you wanna go pee?”
I don’t say anything, just blankly stare at the ceiling and wonder why.
Thank you Jesus/God for waking me up
Ok fuckers I’ll feed you
I have cats, if that wasn’t obvious
My first audible sound doesn’t come from my mouth. 💨