I know a proposal is personal, but in general, do you think it is better to be surprised, or is it just as special if you are expecting it to happen?
What are your proposal expectations?
r/AskWomen
I know a proposal is personal, but in general, do you think it is better to be surprised, or is it just as special if you are expecting it to happen?
Comments
I liked being involved in the decision making. I’m not big on public surprises. We were living together talking about marriage, and he asked if I want a surprise or to go ring shopping together. We bought the ring together and planned the proposal with our friends at a music festival. It was perfect.
Man, I say I want to be involved but my husband hit me with a surprise proposal and aside from the time of day (not a complaint, it was sunrise so I was just tired), he knocked it out of the park in every aspect.
I think it’s entirely dependent on the depth of the relationship. I knew I was marrying him. Anytime felt right. We had only been together for 2 years at the time so I understood that he was maybe waiting another year or so to make it official. He took a leap and designed 2 gorgeous rings, one for me and and our daughter, had then commissioned, he sat on it for a few weeks and picked his moment to propose which was very interpersonal for us, and it was so romantic and sweet it makes me wanna slap him.
My only hard lined no would’ve been something public. Like no proposal in front of the castle at Disney or in some setting where we have an audience. That’s not fair and the pressure to say yes will definitely build resentment if you’re not 100% there yet. I’ve witnessed a public proposal gone wrong and it was devastating to both parties. For all of the guys best intentions, she said no with tears running down her face and left him there, I fuckin cried and I don’t even know those people. It was soul crushing
Personally I want to be surprised. In all my relationships so far the topic of marriage and kids has always come up from the guys’ side. Obviously we didn’t get to that point because it wasn’t meant to be. That’s why I think when I get married it’s going to be a complete surprise because we wouldn’t have even discussed it prior to this moment. And I know I’d like it so damn more because I’ll be so touched. One thing I know is that when a man wants to marry you, he’ll just propose to you and nothing will be able to stop him.
I’d like it to be a surprise, but after we are on the same page about wanting to get married. Like, i’d know it’s coming, but not when or how. I don’t mind if it’s in public, I just wouldn’t want it to be like, suuuuuper public or a grand gesture. Like I think I would die if it was in a restaurant and everybody clapped, but I wouldn’t mind if it was somewhere picturesque with other people around
Something simple and sweet. Just the two of use, somewhere meaningful. Doesn’t need to be big. Just real and from the heart. Also, I hope he doesn’t forget to bring my favorite flowers.
My only expectation was that I was done in private. I find public proposals predatory.
A public proposal would have been an automatic no but to each their own.
I would like us to be on the same page about this path leading to marriage and have had all those conversations, but the actual proposal to be a surprise
Absolutely 100% private. I’m talking not a soul around. Not even a photographer, figure out how to record the moment yourself please
I’m okay with a surprise as long as it’s not public. I do not like being the center of attention, I don’t like being looked at or stared at by strangers lol so a surprise is good so long it’s private. I don’t really care for how it’s done so long it’s out of the house and feels like he did put in a little work.
I really don’t want the ring to be a surprise though. I told him once I had a dream he proposed to me with a ring carved from deer bones and he thought that was so cool 🫠🫠 ummm maybe let’s not!
Surprise adds magic, but knowing it’s coming can make it more meaningful and less stressful. As long as the moment feels genuine and reflects your bond, it’s special either way.
To not have one? LoL
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That if there was going to be one:
Thankfully we skipped that step and moved on to being happily engaged and planning marriage without having an official proposal.