For me it’s constant complaining. In general, I avoid spending time with anybody, man or woman, who goes around airing their grievances as a primary form of communication, but I find I have significantly less tolerance when men do it for whatever reason. I find myself somewhere between being stressed and repulsed usually — the one exception being if they’re really funny or smart about it, but even then, if it’s always happening it just rubs me the wrong way.
Comments
Disrespecting my space and forgetting I am not an ornament for their amusement.
It’s pretty funny how you’re complaining about people who complain.
Avoidant behavior
Being passive-aggressive rather than communicating something bad directly.
Immediately bad mouthing other women as a compliment to my personality. .
Bro I have autism but I’m still a woman and a feminist lol this trick isn’t going to work…
Men who dither and delay and are overly passive
Do not umm and ahh in my presence
Men who always play devil’s advocate for every little thing, or is overly pedantic.
Some pushback can be charming and it makes a good fun debate. But when he challenges your every opinion, or he corrects every thing (e.g. use of the word “literally”), it becomes infuriating and I stop wanting to have meaningful conversations alltogether.
I haaaate when they do that thing where no matter what you say they need to disagree or just be contrary. Every casual conversation becomes an episode of trying to prove why you know what you’re talking about, even if it’s something simple or insignificant.
Yes! Bringing negative energy to everything. I am autistic and I LOVE to talk about things that I love. I also LOVE listening to other people talk about what they love. I am not all for fake positivity but if all you can do is complain or find complaint in anything. Miss me. Find someone else to who likes to be all mopey dopey with, because it isn’t me.
Blaming others for everything .. I don’t mind complaining as long as it’s followed by action to fix whatever is making them whine I know sometimes we just need an ear
Treating me like I am their mom/ therapist
Projecting their idealizations and fantasies on to me
Trying to “save” me
I hate loud sucking, lip smacking, slurping, gulping, sipping, sucking, chewing, and belching noises while eating as well as talking with food in the their mouth.
Cockiness
There are sooooo many. But what comes to mind immediately is their tendency to throw tantrums and have meltdowns, while describing it as “sharing feelings,” “emotional intelligence,” etc. lol Sometimes the tantrums/meltdowns are entirely for show, complete with fake crying, because that’s what they think “sharing feelings” looks like.
Negative energy and being miserly. Saving money and being thrifty is cool, but when they have that tone and it’s not even anti-consumerism, it’s about getting the best deal etc.
Meanwhile I’m thinking that’s a lot of time wasted when they could be building something cool instead. It’s ok if they treat it like a game but when they start doing it like they’re morally superior for not spending that I’m a bit turned off.
For example at a food store where you can pick the food and they charge by weight, the guy in front of me proudly proclaimed to his colleagues that he only picks certain vegetables and not others because they’re lighter and he can get the best deal. That was a legit ick moment, like I cannot imagine living with this guy.
I have a female coworker like that. I actually wanted to like her but the more I talk to her the more I see she’s just a very annoying and unhappy person. I complain about things too but at least I have enough common sense to read the room and know everyone isn’t trying to hear my fucking problems all the fucking time lol.
Luckily, I haven’t been around men who complain all the time but I have had a couple of trauma dumpers, which I hate, especially as these were all men I didn’t even know or care about like that.
I am surprised I didn’t see “weaponized incompetence” on the list. The slow manipulation to turn a partner into a parent. You have to nag/remind/plead repeatedly to get your partner to do a chore. He/she/they finally do it but do it so badly you have to redo the chore yourself rather than start the ask again.
“You do it so much better!”
“That’s a woman’s work.”
Then wonder why the sex drive died. I don’t sleep with children.
One very specific behavior: when they don’t get you a gift but describe the gift they WANTED to get you, then expect credit for the desire, rather than any real follow-through.
Any, I’m gay 👍
most of them
Main character syndrome. The character is always Peter Pan.
Mr. “Whatever you want.” All.the.time.
For everyone: throwing tantrums, punishing other people because they’re in a mood, putting others down because they’re insecure, playing dumb.
Men, specifically: treating me as dumb or less than simply because I have a vagina, thinking women aren’t funny but stealing my jokes.
I can list them but the real question is do you have all day? 😂
Not a Gentleman, Lazy, No Motivation, No Manners, the Reputation he has with his “Friends” vs. When he’s alone with you
Anyone treating my “no” as an invitation to negotiate. Pushy men in general. People who wanna try to use intimidation tactics to make you nervous on purpose so they can get their way.
Yelling. Even a raised voice.
People giving unsolicited advice, typically men—the type that can’t stop talking. These people really need to stfu.
Mansplaining and fetish dating –
Over time, I realized that dating white men often came with a painful pattern. As an Asian woman, I wasn’t seen as a full person—I was either someone’s fetish or some idealized fantasy. What hurt even more was the constant infantilization, like being called “too cute” to understand anything complex or serious. It made me feel small, unheard, and deeply misunderstood. Eventually, I had to step back and choose my peace over constantly trying to prove my depth.
⸻
Let me know if you want it to include more emotional nuance or cultural insight.
Fucking 100% I call it out when I can tell a MF is listening just to respond or one-up. My boyfriend’s best friend does this shit to me on loop because I am persona non-nookie and I have embarrassed him for it multiple times. I am not a misandrist by any means, but guys, we’re people, too, and want to have someone actively listen and engage in conversation, not just ignore until it’s your turn to talk because you either can’t fuck us or only want to.
The whole devils advocate thing and making fun of everything you say thinking they’re being funny when they are not. I’ve said things that are complete facts and not that deep such as a film is based on another film and it’s not an original, they still have to challenge facts. So unattractive.
The other thing is lack of respect for boundaries, this is far too obvious. Saying stop touching my leg, grabbing my arse etc especially in public and they just carry on doing it.
Men who give you the silent treatment. Rather than working things out, they shut down and hope you forget about whatever caused the conflict in the first place. Then come back days, weeks, months, or years later and accuse you of living in the past if you still want to clear the air. I find this incredibly immature and disrespectful. And very emotionally manipulative and controlling.
Arguing with or overly criticizing women. We get it, sir, you’re a bad bitch.
Cheapness. Not to be confused with living within your means, I’m talking about people who are perpetually tight with money. I like to enjoy life and do nice things, and it’s such a turn-off when someone always defaults to the cheaper option, even when spending just a bit more would genuinely elevate the experience.
Prone to getting indignant.
Any desperate clinging to outdated perceptions of masculinity.
I hate macho, alpha male type of stuff. it always seems pretentiou.
When they think they know more about football, baseball, or college basketball than I do. I’m not an expert, but I was raised watching all three and know about strategy, poor choices/play, etc. So, if I say it’s foolish that the defense isn’t doing a full court press, question why a certain play was called, or wonder out loud why the pitcher hasn’t been relieved, there is an assumption that I’m speaking from a place of ignorance, not knowledge and that I need a tutorial.
There’s just too many. Negativity, lacking self esteem/confidence, inarticulate, egotistical, posturing, misogyny… it goes on.
Socially inept, emotionally needy, cowardly, dumb
Just a certain vibe that I find severely off-putting
I know this is my biggest pet peeve because I somehow pissed myself off twice while trying to describe why I hate it in slightly more detail.
Pick me energy with others, and in turn deprioritising your relationship, in an unhealthy way. Nothing worse than having to compete with others to feel valuable in a relationship.
Germophobic fussiness and stingy prissiness. You’re tryina lick my asshole later but now you won’t give me a sip of your drink?
Entitlement !!!
I hate the way that men talk over me all the time. I bartend, so I interact with a lot of men, and so many of them won’t let me finish a fucking sentence. It’s infuriating.
Men who think they are Very Deep and Intellectual. Not actual intellectuals, but men with incredibly shallow pools of reference, have read the same few books as the other Very Deep and Intellectual men, and think playing devil’s advocate is the same as having an actual discussion.
Despite not being especially bright (most of them are parroting talking points, at best), they want to treat me like an acolyte. They’re over here trying to introduce me to the same Lit 101 books I read at 19, shocked that I know when World War II happened, amazed that I, too, took World Civ.
For bonus points, most of them have this very weird aesthetic and look like sweaty butternut squashes, so there’s also that.
Silent treatment
Yelling at me
Whining (this is the worst)
Weaponised incompetence
LACK OF EFFORT
Misogyny. Full stop. My ex hates women, especially those of my generation. I used to tell him to date men 🤷🏽♀️
To those that exhibit it, not being able to address things and apologize.
Interrupting. Sorry, was I done?
When their personality changes if they think you’re drunk. Beware of the nice gentlemen who try to touch you after they see you get some drinks. Sir, we’re all at full awareness here. Why are you trying to do? So pathetic.
After I spend a full day with you and spent the night and morning and you want to still text me all day snd call.. I can not. I need a minute and some space to wind down. Clingyness?
Would not taking care of their hygiene count? My ex decided not to brush his teeth or shower for up to 2 weeks at a time. He was convinced gargling mouthwash and hobo baths were enough. He never connected the dots that our dwindling sex life was connected to his showering or lack of. ☠️