I went through some pretty extensive SA trauma in my early 20s. I reported my ex, and I found out if I chose to press charges, he could go to jail for up to 30 years, and register as a sex offender for life.
I struggled with it for a very long time, and then I met someone through my family who was a really great guy, and changed things for me. No matter how upset or triggered I was about my past, I’ve never wanted to talk to him about it, because the trauma stopped mattering when I met him. Even today, I was a little bit teary eyed because I had nightmares, but I knew it wasn’t wise to talk to him about it, as it would pass.
It’s just such a weird feeling for me and I don’t understand why after I’ve been through so much, just being with him makes the trauma seem like it was nothing.
And when I’ve been apart from him, I’ve always been happy to let him go do his own thing. In the event that the day comes where he’s no longer in my life, I know that I’d be okay.
It just isn’t making sense to me how after all this trauma, he makes me feel fine and like myself again.
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