What causes the decrease of wanting to have sex with your partner? My boyfriend and I used to have a sex life, now it’s once a week. He is 40 and I am 27. He always plans to have sex with me the next day and then says I promise tomorrow. He does work a difficult job but I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to relieve stress? Maybe am I the problem? Any ideas?
What causes a decreased sex life?
r/AskMen
Comments
He’s 40…that’s the cause or he doesn’t like the sex
Could be low T. Out of shape. Depression. Talk to him.
Boredom.
A) you’re not that great in bed B) he’s not that great in bed and thinks it’s you C) he doesn’t care about sex
being overweight, microplastics in diet, age, use of certain medicines such as antacids anti depressants etc etc
theres a lot of causes, but he may benefit from medical testosterone, but only get it from an actual doctor
This book is really over recommended by reddit but read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. It has answers for essentially all of your problems within the first like, 100 pages.
Low T, exhaustion + GF/spouse getting too fat or depression.
Could be one of the above or all the above.
In my experiences and from what I’ve seen quite often, it usually the woman who lets herself go and refuses to acknowledge it.
Could be anything, illness, fatigue, did it too much, just not up for it, who knows
In my experience, 40 is young for a man to have lower sex drive. Talk to him. Is there something else like drug or alcohol abuse, medical issues? I suspect you don’t have the whole story
Stress, low T, self esteem, resentment. Only way to know is to talk, I’m afraid.
His age is probably not the problem. The real question is he still consuming porn or is he taking any meds even high blood pressure can cause problems. Talk to him and ask if he is having a problem and how you both can get through this. Whatever you do talk like adults and don’t ask reddit.
When she gains weight.
If he is in shape and works out. I would think he has a side chick. Young dudes can have a side chick and still want to have sex with their main squeeze. But older dudes not so much. They blow their load with the side chick then just don’t have enough for their main squeeze.
Or
He could have low testosterone.
Or
He could have an STD and is trying not to give it to you
Or
You have done something that he just can’t forgive you for
Or
He is gay
Aside from all the physiological explanations already given, there’s also the fact that sex in most relationships goes down over time naturally. When you stop taking the time out of your day to purposefully do it (as you tend to do when you’re first dating compared to living together), you’re going to notice a decrease.
Nobody has brought up that it can also be caused by doing all the work. A pillow princess is lame
Wedding cake
At around 40 a guy’s testosterone level starts to drop, though pretty gradually. That may have started for him and it will lessen his desire to have sex. It’s one of the things you have to deal with when you have that kind of age gap. Also, you say he’s stressed at work. That’s likely going to make him not want it as often.
Stress
Around 40, testosterone can start to decline. That affects libido, energy, and even mood. Another reason can be porn masturbation. Plus poor sleep, or underlying depression can massively reduce libido.
Have a calm, honest talk with him and ask open ended questions
Can’t speak for anyone else but here’s my own personal experience.
Sex is work for me. Partner refuses to give blowjob, expects oral foreplay, refuses to ride. It’s tiring work.
If I’m tired, I can’t get horny so, I’m less motivated to go to “work” per se.
A little bit of enthusiasm and participation would help, if your case is similar to mine. If not, can’t say for sure.
That sounds like low T, I should know I have it. It comes with low energy and by the end of the day you kinda just want to go to sleep. I’m not even once a week sometimes and I’m 43.
Not spending enough time together drifting a part. Poor communication arguing a lot resentments and health issues.
Some guys say it’s low T, or stress….
As a married man I can tell you beyond any doubt the 2 things that will kill your sex life more than anything else is
Having an opinion your wife does not like
Leaving the kitchen dirty
Bring another girl in..
🔵🔵👍🔵🔵🤌🔵🔵👌
Depression,
stress,
drop in attraction to SO
Medications
Low horomone level