Im struggling to figure out if this is typical or not. When my SO compliments my appearance, I rarely actually like it. He phrases things kindly and respectfully, and doesn’t sexualize me and is all around very sweet. I think I just dont like appearance based compliments, I’d rather him playfully roast me even, or give a compliment on how I make him feel instead. Maybe it’s self confidence issue (even though I learned to like the way I look) or is it just a preference in general? Not even sure. Would love to hear you all.
I don’t think I have one that I don’t like. These jeans make my butt look big? I want it to be big so please compliment it 😂 I do sometimes receive compliments awkwardly with a joke afterwards. If it’s a stranger I’m way more awkward
I get annoyed when he tries to say that my boobs or my butt is getting bigger, for reference I’ve been bullied all my life from family and school peers for being “flat” and “twiggy” so I immediately get annoyed and know he’s lying. Sometimes I wish I could actually accept the compliment because I know he’s just trying to boost up my confidence but I just immediately shoot him down and tell him “no they’re not”. He’s gotten better though and just says they look good but sometimes that still annoys me too lol. Love him dearly.
Usually anything sexual when im not feeling it is annoying to me…like he can’t Read the room. Also sometimes im liek bent over cleaning or something and he uses that to like grope me without me noticing at first yk and im like back tf off
My bottom half. He’s a thigh and butt man, and the thicker, the better. And I’m very pear shaped. That’s where I carry all my weight- my legs and butt. He loves to grab at them and compliment how thick I am. Don’t get me wrong, I love that he loves my body- but I was raised in the era of the “thigh gap” and “pro-Ana tumblr” and got made fun of for being thick. So it kinda makes me want to curl up and disappear.
I’m learning to love myself slowly, but there’s still a lot that I need to deconstruct.
Hmm lmao. My husband used to say he liked cuddling bc I feel soft and my brain went to big but I know what he means so I wouldn’t say I don’t like it. My brain just compute things a bit more negatively sometimes 🤣
I once dated a guy who would always say “But you’re so cute!” whenever I mentioned a problem I was dealing with. He meant it as a compliment and comfort, like “it sucks that you’re going through that but at least you look good doing it!” But it reminded me of the way I talk to my cat. Felt very infantilizing and dismissive. I would have preferred a more specific compliment on my appearance – and one not tied to wanting to make me feel better.
When he says ‘You look so hot when you’re mad.’ Like sir, I’m about to throw a shoe and you’re getting turned on? This is not encouragement, this is emotional sabotage
I very genuinely can’t think of any, tbh. Racking my brain but nothing is coming up. I think he knows me well enough not to say something that would, for whatever reason, irritate me. Or to say certain things at times where it’s clear I’m not in the mood for it.
My ex would say that I’m “bangin” a lot. Didn’t make me feel good. I’m not averse to compliments on my appearance but they are better when they are more specific.
My SO calls me sexy a lot and I don’t like it. He sometimes gives compliments of “cute” or “adorable” or “you’re such a bookworm.” I have talked to him about this and he often forgets. It is appreciated that he is attractive to me but being called sexy a lot can get tired some and feels objectifying
I don’t like it when he says I have big boobs even though he expresses how much he likes them. I’ve worked insanely hard to lose a lot of weight and comments like that make me feel like I’m still fat when I’m clearly not. I’ll always be busty, can’t change that, but I don’t like comments about my “big boobs”.
Deep sigh. Once my bf – whom I love but feel has questionable emotional/relationship experience – told me “don’t worry, my boobs were just the right size for him”, when we were talking about someone who had an amazing rack. I’m comfortable with my size but I’m not the kind of woman people break their necks staring at. He didn’t get why it was offensive until I told him “don’t worry, your dick is just the right size for me”.
Sometimes when he is complimenting me, I can tell that the subtext is: “Other people will think you look fat, but I don’t care”. He would never say something like that to me directly, but he sort of does it unintentionally. That I could do without.
I know he means it as a point of appreciation, that he recognizes how hard I work or how often I take on extra to help either himself or others out. But all it does is remind me of how nobody else jumps in to help, and how many things I feel obligated to take care of, because if I don’t, it won’t get done. Instead of telling me he appreciates how much I do, I wish he’d just get to things before I notice they need doing, and take some of the burden.
Oh, and asking if you can help is not helping. Please, just notice that some of the load needs to be equally shared, and do it before I’m already in the middle of the task.
My eyes sometimes go a little cross-eyed if I look up at something really close to me, so he sees it often because his face is often close to mine 😂😂 and he points out when my eyes do the thing and he says it’s the cutest thing and he says I look up with him with a “sparkle in my eyes” but I’m a little embarrassed by it because I can just imagine how silly I look 😂
My partner is just absolutely crap with compliments. I either don’t get any or they’ll be very fact based. For instance yesterday I was fishing for a compliment on my appearance and he said I look “Just right” 😅. I took it as I know that’s the best he can muster but I’d love to have a “Beautiful”, “Breathtaking”, “sexy”, “stunning” etc. you know the type of compliments that women find so easy to give to each other.
okay so ever since i was a kid i’ve always sucked in my stomach like unconsciously and ik a lot of people do this and like my bf will tell me like “don’t suck in your natural stomach is so beautiful” or “that’s just your uterus you don’t have to suck in i love how you look” and while this might seem like a nice thing and that i’m just mean and complaining, i don’t like it because 1. it makes me insecure about how obvious it is that i’m sucking in 2. it calls it out so then i’m overthinking it and worried abt it 3. i’m naturally just really skinny and sometimes i’m actually not sucking in and he’ll say that and it’s just like annoying idk
Guys I’ve dated have complimented my attractiveness, my face, my body, my humour, my insightfullness, my silliness. I appreciate them all. I’m a words person. As long as they mean it, i like it. I don’t lovee being called cute. I dont hate it. But it feels like a very limiting word. Like my brain can’t compute that i can be cute and intelligent or sexy or wierd.
My ex used to do this shit all the time where he’d say “you’d look so good in that” if he saw certain tv characters/animated characters wearing something. I’m very curvy but my style is more basic so it always felt like a punch in the face when he’d say it to a bunch of stuff he knows I’d never wear. Like thanks? I’m not a doll
I was dating a guy who-whenever I did something clumsy- told me „at least you’re pretty“.
I know it was meant in a funny way but I always told him I did not want him to say that. Still did 😂
I’ve gained about 15lbs these past 6 months. It goes straight to my gut and thighs. I hate how he compliments my butt/thighs; I think they’re disgusting right now. Compliments are a reminder I’m not where I’m supposed to be
Not a SO but one time a guy I hooked up with wouldn’t stop talking about my big boobs. I’m used to it being pointed out but like he really would not stop talking about it and it got very annoying
My husband does thing that I call Stolen Compliments. If we’re watching a movie and someone says ‘oh that’s a pretty flower’ he’ll look at me and say ‘you’re a pretty flower’. If we’re out and about and I say ‘that’s a cool building’ he’ll say ‘you’re a cool building’ or ‘you’re cool’ etc etc.
It happens pretty often, so much it’s turned into a bit where we’re calling each other things that don’t make sense like ‘bright lamppost’ and ‘young branch’ lol, but when the words are nice he thinks he’s actually complimenting me.
I understand it’s a bit he’s trying to do, and I’ve tried to do it back, but it honestly just feels annoying and low effort. Like he didn’t think to call me a ‘pretty flower’ all on his own, he just repeated something he heard immediately before. I’ve brought it up a few times, but this isn’t a hill I want to die on and it’s generally harmless. He still does compliment me outside of this lil bit we created so I can put up with the annoyance haha
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Im struggling to figure out if this is typical or not. When my SO compliments my appearance, I rarely actually like it. He phrases things kindly and respectfully, and doesn’t sexualize me and is all around very sweet. I think I just dont like appearance based compliments, I’d rather him playfully roast me even, or give a compliment on how I make him feel instead. Maybe it’s self confidence issue (even though I learned to like the way I look) or is it just a preference in general? Not even sure. Would love to hear you all.
I don’t think I have one that I don’t like. These jeans make my butt look big? I want it to be big so please compliment it 😂 I do sometimes receive compliments awkwardly with a joke afterwards. If it’s a stranger I’m way more awkward
He dont make that much compliments so I am just glad when i get one that is different from his daily ”you look cute”
I get annoyed when he tries to say that my boobs or my butt is getting bigger, for reference I’ve been bullied all my life from family and school peers for being “flat” and “twiggy” so I immediately get annoyed and know he’s lying. Sometimes I wish I could actually accept the compliment because I know he’s just trying to boost up my confidence but I just immediately shoot him down and tell him “no they’re not”. He’s gotten better though and just says they look good but sometimes that still annoys me too lol. Love him dearly.
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Usually anything sexual when im not feeling it is annoying to me…like he can’t Read the room. Also sometimes im liek bent over cleaning or something and he uses that to like grope me without me noticing at first yk and im like back tf off
My bottom half. He’s a thigh and butt man, and the thicker, the better. And I’m very pear shaped. That’s where I carry all my weight- my legs and butt. He loves to grab at them and compliment how thick I am. Don’t get me wrong, I love that he loves my body- but I was raised in the era of the “thigh gap” and “pro-Ana tumblr” and got made fun of for being thick. So it kinda makes me want to curl up and disappear.
I’m learning to love myself slowly, but there’s still a lot that I need to deconstruct.
My ex told me once that I talk too much, but that’s a good thing!
Hmm lmao. My husband used to say he liked cuddling bc I feel soft and my brain went to big but I know what he means so I wouldn’t say I don’t like it. My brain just compute things a bit more negatively sometimes 🤣
I once dated a guy who would always say “But you’re so cute!” whenever I mentioned a problem I was dealing with. He meant it as a compliment and comfort, like “it sucks that you’re going through that but at least you look good doing it!” But it reminded me of the way I talk to my cat. Felt very infantilizing and dismissive. I would have preferred a more specific compliment on my appearance – and one not tied to wanting to make me feel better.
When he says ‘You look so hot when you’re mad.’ Like sir, I’m about to throw a shoe and you’re getting turned on? This is not encouragement, this is emotional sabotage
I very genuinely can’t think of any, tbh. Racking my brain but nothing is coming up. I think he knows me well enough not to say something that would, for whatever reason, irritate me. Or to say certain things at times where it’s clear I’m not in the mood for it.
My ex would say that I’m “bangin” a lot. Didn’t make me feel good. I’m not averse to compliments on my appearance but they are better when they are more specific.
My last SO called me “sugar tits” as my pet name, because I have big boobs. I hated it. Feels so vulgar and objectifying.
My SO calls me sexy a lot and I don’t like it. He sometimes gives compliments of “cute” or “adorable” or “you’re such a bookworm.” I have talked to him about this and he often forgets. It is appreciated that he is attractive to me but being called sexy a lot can get tired some and feels objectifying
I don’t like it when he says I have big boobs even though he expresses how much he likes them. I’ve worked insanely hard to lose a lot of weight and comments like that make me feel like I’m still fat when I’m clearly not. I’ll always be busty, can’t change that, but I don’t like comments about my “big boobs”.
Nice mustache lol
I would take any compliment atp
Deep sigh. Once my bf – whom I love but feel has questionable emotional/relationship experience – told me “don’t worry, my boobs were just the right size for him”, when we were talking about someone who had an amazing rack. I’m comfortable with my size but I’m not the kind of woman people break their necks staring at. He didn’t get why it was offensive until I told him “don’t worry, your dick is just the right size for me”.
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Sometimes when he is complimenting me, I can tell that the subtext is: “Other people will think you look fat, but I don’t care”. He would never say something like that to me directly, but he sort of does it unintentionally. That I could do without.
“You do so much.”
I know he means it as a point of appreciation, that he recognizes how hard I work or how often I take on extra to help either himself or others out. But all it does is remind me of how nobody else jumps in to help, and how many things I feel obligated to take care of, because if I don’t, it won’t get done. Instead of telling me he appreciates how much I do, I wish he’d just get to things before I notice they need doing, and take some of the burden.
Oh, and asking if you can help is not helping. Please, just notice that some of the load needs to be equally shared, and do it before I’m already in the middle of the task.
saying my ass or something got bigger -im a “former” anorexic
My eyes sometimes go a little cross-eyed if I look up at something really close to me, so he sees it often because his face is often close to mine 😂😂 and he points out when my eyes do the thing and he says it’s the cutest thing and he says I look up with him with a “sparkle in my eyes” but I’m a little embarrassed by it because I can just imagine how silly I look 😂
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My partner is just absolutely crap with compliments. I either don’t get any or they’ll be very fact based. For instance yesterday I was fishing for a compliment on my appearance and he said I look “Just right” 😅. I took it as I know that’s the best he can muster but I’d love to have a “Beautiful”, “Breathtaking”, “sexy”, “stunning” etc. you know the type of compliments that women find so easy to give to each other.
okay so ever since i was a kid i’ve always sucked in my stomach like unconsciously and ik a lot of people do this and like my bf will tell me like “don’t suck in your natural stomach is so beautiful” or “that’s just your uterus you don’t have to suck in i love how you look” and while this might seem like a nice thing and that i’m just mean and complaining, i don’t like it because 1. it makes me insecure about how obvious it is that i’m sucking in 2. it calls it out so then i’m overthinking it and worried abt it 3. i’m naturally just really skinny and sometimes i’m actually not sucking in and he’ll say that and it’s just like annoying idk
Used to get “you’re so hopeless, aww” from my apparently perfect and not at all abusive husband
Positively comparing me to his exes
Guys I’ve dated have complimented my attractiveness, my face, my body, my humour, my insightfullness, my silliness. I appreciate them all. I’m a words person. As long as they mean it, i like it. I don’t lovee being called cute. I dont hate it. But it feels like a very limiting word. Like my brain can’t compute that i can be cute and intelligent or sexy or wierd.
Anything about me being his “favorite white girl” or anything to that effect ugh idk
My ex used to do this shit all the time where he’d say “you’d look so good in that” if he saw certain tv characters/animated characters wearing something. I’m very curvy but my style is more basic so it always felt like a punch in the face when he’d say it to a bunch of stuff he knows I’d never wear. Like thanks? I’m not a doll
I was dating a guy who-whenever I did something clumsy- told me „at least you’re pretty“.
I know it was meant in a funny way but I always told him I did not want him to say that. Still did 😂
I’ve gained about 15lbs these past 6 months. It goes straight to my gut and thighs. I hate how he compliments my butt/thighs; I think they’re disgusting right now. Compliments are a reminder I’m not where I’m supposed to be
Not a SO but one time a guy I hooked up with wouldn’t stop talking about my big boobs. I’m used to it being pointed out but like he really would not stop talking about it and it got very annoying
He keeps reminding me, in a voice of awe and amazement, how much my hair reminds him of a helmet.
“You have nice child bearing hips” or “you’re built to be a mother” he wants a family in the future so he thinks this is a compliment
My husband does thing that I call Stolen Compliments. If we’re watching a movie and someone says ‘oh that’s a pretty flower’ he’ll look at me and say ‘you’re a pretty flower’. If we’re out and about and I say ‘that’s a cool building’ he’ll say ‘you’re a cool building’ or ‘you’re cool’ etc etc.
It happens pretty often, so much it’s turned into a bit where we’re calling each other things that don’t make sense like ‘bright lamppost’ and ‘young branch’ lol, but when the words are nice he thinks he’s actually complimenting me.
I understand it’s a bit he’s trying to do, and I’ve tried to do it back, but it honestly just feels annoying and low effort. Like he didn’t think to call me a ‘pretty flower’ all on his own, he just repeated something he heard immediately before. I’ve brought it up a few times, but this isn’t a hill I want to die on and it’s generally harmless. He still does compliment me outside of this lil bit we created so I can put up with the annoyance haha