Both matter but obviously looks fade with time and most of us know beauty is only skin deep. Personality wins, just don’t take that as an excuse to completely let go
Personality is most important, however attraction is also important. Attraction is where it starts, personality keeps it going.
No woman on earth wants her man to think she’s ugly, or just loves her for personality.
So you don’t have to be smoking hot, but he can’t find you ugly.
A big misconception for a lot of women is that if you’re hot you can get away with anything, he’ll put up with anything. And while it’s not completely false, hotter women do get more latitude, they also get left in situationships while “wonder bread women” get wifed up. Yeah the baddie was hot, turned him on, but she was also a pain in the butt, while the WBW is comparatively plain, but she made him feel like a king and made his life better.
Both are necessary, but physique is most important, I’d say, because it’s the trickiest. Half of women have good personalities — that’s easy. But very few women 40 and over have both beautiful physiques and personalities.
Physique can’t make someone interesting, unique and fun to be with. Having an awesome personality and being an amazing human can make a woman incredibly erotic and sexy. Scales tip one way for me.
I just need a woman to be attractive enough. I’m not going to pursue a woman that I don’t find attractive. Her personality is what allows her to stay. (I also have to be attractive enough for her and have a personality that clicks with her)
Comfortable. You could be the hottest woman in the world, but not worth it if you bring disruption. You could be the bare minimum passing in looks, but be the most comfortable person and that would be enough for a simple guys. Honestly most guys want more simple thing when they get older.
Enthusiasm for sex regardless. Then it’s like 80% vs 20% (Physique OR Personality at 80%, with the other meeting baseline expectations).
An amazing personality with a dumpster fire body isn’t going to work, though… and as I get older an amazing body with a personality that’s a turn off is not going to work either.
My preference would be for the 80% in Personality, though.
Go on YouTube and search “crazy hot matrix” look for the long version
Bear in mind that whole thing started as a casual joke. The language is abrasive or could be construed as outright misogynistic. But. Just try to think of “crazy” as “bad personality” and it’s useful / a true description of what I and I think mosten use as a decision process pretty instinctively. But it definitely gets reinforced by advice and experience.
Can’t help the fact that physical/emotional attraction matters a great deal, “hot” is definitely a subjective personal opinion, my type isn’t all that mainstream. But it pretty much is a tradeoff. And it’s definitely changed over time. A part of that is, as I have experience with older women, I realize that bedroom skills and willingness to use them goes a long way towards “hot.” Ie a woman who turns a lot of heads including my own actually isn’t necessarily all that great in bed / or at least with me. Vs choosing based on personality somewhat correlates to choosing women who are more attracted to me. Iow if a woman is attracted to me / we make each other happy, she’s going to present as a nicer personality. But also everything is just a lot more fun in the bedroom / she’s “hot” partly as a result of simply liking me.
I’m just going to come right out and say it: in my own opinion, incredibly attractive women are often quite unpleasant to be around for various reasons. To me it doesn’t even matter much if they’ve been unpleasant to me, there’s behaviors that just completely turn me off if I see a gorgeous woman doing to anyone. The more of that I experience, the more I’ve grown to appreciate women who are average looking but have a great personality.
Oh, totally her Amazing Personality™ that’s what it’s all about. Why would a man want somebody who looks like Margot Robbie if she has a forgettable personality, right? Right? Am I right? I’m right, right?
There are the “been there, done that” men that are set in their ways and just want someone that is easy to live with the way they want to live.
There are the lonely guys that always need someone to validate them. They will go for whoever gives them attention.
Then there are the guys that just go for looks and might get bored quickly regardless.
The guys that are “looking to build a life” that is different than the one they already have without complete neediness are mostly gone. That was what their 20s and early 30s was for. Now they either have their wife or they have become one of the guys mentioned above. That first guy I mentioned is a particularly large group after 40.
Edit add: so that would mean personality, particularly an easy-going personality if you are going for most of them…. Looks if you actually want that third type of guy for some odd reason.
I need a woman. Not a self professed bad bitch. Be humble, strong, funny, confident, and honest. If you have opinions, thoughts, and specific mindsets that’s wonderful and I’m here for it. Also be able to defend those points and or be able to concede your stance if proof is provided. No yelling. No fighting. No throwing shit.
Be able to self regulate. It’s not my job to feed you. You’re an adult so eat before you become a monster. Take your medicine before the other personality wakes up.
Don’t compete with the hobbies. If he likes gaming, fishing, guns, art, RC cars, or even fucking DnD it’s okay. We can all enjoy our free time. It’s actually pretty healthy for our mental health.
Relationships are 100% and 100%. Sometimes one of us won’t be at our best. Work might have us down. Possibly you’re in your head about the kids. Money issues. The house needs a thing fixed.
It’s a combination and a sliding scale with MUCH heavier weight on personality. Like others, this has not changed over the decades. It’s probably why I’m still married decades later……
Young folks will learn, your standards adjust over time. When I was young, most of us were thin, had no grey hairs, no stretch marks… it was acceptable to expect something like that from a partner.
As a man nearing 40… that starts to go out the window, but I still have physical expectations, but they’re age appropriate.
I imagine that expectations can exist throughout life, but have to be kept in check with our ages.
Comments
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Physique or personality?
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Personality with the ability to do outdoor activities like hiking.
Personality! 100%
Both
Both matter but obviously looks fade with time and most of us know beauty is only skin deep. Personality wins, just don’t take that as an excuse to completely let go
I will take a shy, soft spoken feminine 6 all day over a disagreeable, boss babe 10 any day of the week.
That they still have a sex drive, or at least a compatible one
Personality is most important, however attraction is also important. Attraction is where it starts, personality keeps it going.
No woman on earth wants her man to think she’s ugly, or just loves her for personality.
So you don’t have to be smoking hot, but he can’t find you ugly.
A big misconception for a lot of women is that if you’re hot you can get away with anything, he’ll put up with anything. And while it’s not completely false, hotter women do get more latitude, they also get left in situationships while “wonder bread women” get wifed up. Yeah the baddie was hot, turned him on, but she was also a pain in the butt, while the WBW is comparatively plain, but she made him feel like a king and made his life better.
If she’s hot and annoying it won’t last. If she’s not hot and but an amazing personality, it may never start.
A balance is always best imo.
Boobs
When they stop playing games
Both are necessary, but physique is most important, I’d say, because it’s the trickiest. Half of women have good personalities — that’s easy. But very few women 40 and over have both beautiful physiques and personalities.
That she improves my life and doesn’t make it worse.
Self improvement.
Youth and physique. In that order.
Physique and personality if she’s a long term prospect. Also in that order.
50-50, but needs a good libido.
Having sex with the person and feeling comfortable are nice. Maybe throw in some laughter? Is this a trick question?
I care the same. Either of them can be deal breakers.
Physique can’t make someone interesting, unique and fun to be with. Having an awesome personality and being an amazing human can make a woman incredibly erotic and sexy. Scales tip one way for me.
Integrity is a pretty big one for me.
I just need a woman to be attractive enough. I’m not going to pursue a woman that I don’t find attractive. Her personality is what allows her to stay. (I also have to be attractive enough for her and have a personality that clicks with her)
Peace.
Physique is the minimum requirement. If I can’t get turned on by looking at you, it’s a non starter.
Personality seals the deal. A long term commitment is only possible if I click with you.
kindness
I require a certain level of attraction to pique my interest. Looks get me in the door, personality locks me down.
Sex account
Looks fade, we all get old. A horrible personality is harder to hide
I can tell you what I’m not into, that’s being antisocial, hatefulness and just has a bad attitude about everything
Comfortable. You could be the hottest woman in the world, but not worth it if you bring disruption. You could be the bare minimum passing in looks, but be the most comfortable person and that would be enough for a simple guys. Honestly most guys want more simple thing when they get older.
Credit score and 401k.
Really good vision, that way when she sees me naked she only goes partially blind
Neither. It’s basically do you have your shit together. Hot women are everywhere and I’m not a babysitter.
That she isn’t crazy and doesn’t bring a crazy ex to the relationship with her.
I’ve been a personality guy my whole life.
Enthusiasm for sex regardless. Then it’s like 80% vs 20% (Physique OR Personality at 80%, with the other meeting baseline expectations).
An amazing personality with a dumpster fire body isn’t going to work, though… and as I get older an amazing body with a personality that’s a turn off is not going to work either.
My preference would be for the 80% in Personality, though.
Someone who can communicate using verbal language and not having contempt for me would be a start.
body count
Loyalty. Idgaf about body count as one poster said. I need a person that’s with me thick and thin and won’t cheat. I have that now. I’m good.
Can we hold a conversation?
Cool vibes. Kindness. Attractiveness. In that order. I’m 38, sorry for cheating on the age rule, I’m close though.
Personality and reliability.
Slutty. Whoreish. I don’t know what happened to me. I’m 43 and my sex drive is way too high
Of course I have to be physically attracted but personally is far more important in a relationship
A little of both but personality is most important.
Fitness to me includes both the body and mind. Someone who goes to the gym and to therapy. Be the best you possible
I’ve never cared for high maintenance Barbie girls.
Personality, of course
If you make my life harder more than happier, you’re out.
Personality.
Go on YouTube and search “crazy hot matrix” look for the long version
Bear in mind that whole thing started as a casual joke. The language is abrasive or could be construed as outright misogynistic. But. Just try to think of “crazy” as “bad personality” and it’s useful / a true description of what I and I think mosten use as a decision process pretty instinctively. But it definitely gets reinforced by advice and experience.
Can’t help the fact that physical/emotional attraction matters a great deal, “hot” is definitely a subjective personal opinion, my type isn’t all that mainstream. But it pretty much is a tradeoff. And it’s definitely changed over time. A part of that is, as I have experience with older women, I realize that bedroom skills and willingness to use them goes a long way towards “hot.” Ie a woman who turns a lot of heads including my own actually isn’t necessarily all that great in bed / or at least with me. Vs choosing based on personality somewhat correlates to choosing women who are more attracted to me. Iow if a woman is attracted to me / we make each other happy, she’s going to present as a nicer personality. But also everything is just a lot more fun in the bedroom / she’s “hot” partly as a result of simply liking me.
I’m just going to come right out and say it: in my own opinion, incredibly attractive women are often quite unpleasant to be around for various reasons. To me it doesn’t even matter much if they’ve been unpleasant to me, there’s behaviors that just completely turn me off if I see a gorgeous woman doing to anyone. The more of that I experience, the more I’ve grown to appreciate women who are average looking but have a great personality.
Ability to not constantly bitch at me or make me bankrupt with frivolous spending; loyalty; desire for frequent sex with me; fun to be around.
Oh, totally her Amazing Personality™ that’s what it’s all about. Why would a man want somebody who looks like Margot Robbie if she has a forgettable personality, right? Right? Am I right? I’m right, right?
Depends on why they are dating.
There are the “been there, done that” men that are set in their ways and just want someone that is easy to live with the way they want to live.
There are the lonely guys that always need someone to validate them. They will go for whoever gives them attention.
Then there are the guys that just go for looks and might get bored quickly regardless.
The guys that are “looking to build a life” that is different than the one they already have without complete neediness are mostly gone. That was what their 20s and early 30s was for. Now they either have their wife or they have become one of the guys mentioned above. That first guy I mentioned is a particularly large group after 40.
Edit add: so that would mean personality, particularly an easy-going personality if you are going for most of them…. Looks if you actually want that third type of guy for some odd reason.
Breedability
Edit: Just read the context. Both pretty equally but only in terms of my original answer.
A pulse..
This is a joke.. I don’t feel any different from my 20’s to my 40’s.
Does she bring him peace.
Snuggling ability
Personality is so much more important.
I need a woman. Not a self professed bad bitch. Be humble, strong, funny, confident, and honest. If you have opinions, thoughts, and specific mindsets that’s wonderful and I’m here for it. Also be able to defend those points and or be able to concede your stance if proof is provided. No yelling. No fighting. No throwing shit.
Be able to self regulate. It’s not my job to feed you. You’re an adult so eat before you become a monster. Take your medicine before the other personality wakes up.
Don’t compete with the hobbies. If he likes gaming, fishing, guns, art, RC cars, or even fucking DnD it’s okay. We can all enjoy our free time. It’s actually pretty healthy for our mental health.
Relationships are 100% and 100%. Sometimes one of us won’t be at our best. Work might have us down. Possibly you’re in your head about the kids. Money issues. The house needs a thing fixed.
she prepare my coffee early morning
How pleasing and easy going she makes my life.
And when I mean easygoing, I mean she listens to everything.
It’s a combination and a sliding scale with MUCH heavier weight on personality. Like others, this has not changed over the decades. It’s probably why I’m still married decades later……
Loyalty.
personality as long as she’s not totally repulsive
I would much rather have a 5 looks with a 10 personality than a 10 looks with a 5 personality
Young folks will learn, your standards adjust over time. When I was young, most of us were thin, had no grey hairs, no stretch marks… it was acceptable to expect something like that from a partner.
As a man nearing 40… that starts to go out the window, but I still have physical expectations, but they’re age appropriate.
I imagine that expectations can exist throughout life, but have to be kept in check with our ages.