So my girlfriend [19f] and me [21m] have been dating for about 6 months now but about 2 weeks ago she left about 600 mi away from me for school
we went to talking everyday to now whenever I talk to her she gets mad at me like she gets annoyed when I call her or text her too much when it’s like 3 or 4 messages and then she keeps telling me she needs space and we went from talking to her 10 hours a day to 45 minutes a day but apparently that’s still too much
she used to tell me wherever she’d go or when she went somewhere and now she tells me that I’m being controlling when I ask where you’re going.
What am I doing wrong and how do I fix it
Because I love her to death and I don’t want to lose her
“TL;DR”
“Essentially my girlfriend’s getting mad at me for talking to her too much and asking what you’re doing and where you’re going is controlling”
Comments
If it’s exactly as you’re describing then she’s trying to break up with you.
If maybe you’re messaging things other than what you’re saying, or underplaying yourself, then she’s being honest and it’s a bit much.
Is this the whole story? Is there a possibility you have been overbearing? That you’ve been smothering her?
Talking on call for 10 hours a day is a lot and guaranteed that at least one of you will get tired of it.
She might be trying to leave, she might need some time to think about what she wants, she might be trying to establish boundaries that she’s wanted to set for a long time and it’s coming out this way cause she’s had it pent up.
Any case, give her space, she may or may not come back but it’s out of your hands.
You used to talk 10 hrs a day, she sleeps for 8, that leaves 6 hours a day for stuff like eating, hygiene, work, etc. Now she is at school and obviously doesn’t have 10 hrs a day to talk. The more you push, the more irritated she will get. After only 6 months of dating, I’m not sure your relationship is at the point where it can handle the stress of long distance. Plus, she is forging ahead and making life goals, and you are just sitting around waiting for her texts and calls. She may see you are not moving in the same direction she is.
Too late dude, you’ve lost her already. She’s not interested in you or your feelings. She’s 600 miles away, living it up and enjoying the single life. She has no time in her life for a “needy” bf. There’s a veritable smorgasbord of guys available to her every day she’s away. Plus, she’s busy fiiting into a new environment, new life regiment, new living conditions, new friends, etc. You should step away for a while, give her a chance to acclimate, and stop being so damn “needy and clingy”.
It’s not an attractive trait, even though I understand why you feel the way you do. LDR requires a period of adaptation and adjustment, and your relationship may very well not survive this. If your gf is disrespecting you and your relationship, then you need to break up with her. One thing’s for sure, the more you try to force the issue, the further away you’re pushing her. Maybe she’s ready to call it quits, or maybe not. But, there is not a thing you can do about it either way. You have to be strong, confident in yourself, and stop reaching out to her. If she wants to talk, she knows how to reach you.