I’m 24M, dating a 24F, and we’ve been together for close to a year. I’ve never had an issue with her posting bikini pics.
But on her recent vacation, she posted a pic in an outdoor, exotic-style shower. The shot is from behind, in a sexy bikini, with a clear view of her ass. It’s easily the most revealing thing she’s ever posted.
She is often critical of other girls in relationship posting “too” revealing photos
I’m not trying to control her or tell her what she can and can’t do, but it definitely made me uncomfortable. It’s not something I’d want my girlfriend or someone I see as a future wife to post.
What do you consider too revealing in a relationship? And if something your partner posted made you uncomfortable, how would you bring it up?
TL;DR: Been dating for about a year. Girlfriend posted a very revealing bikini pic from vacation—shot from behind, full view of her ass. I’m not okay with it, but don’t want to come off controlling. What’s your line for “too revealing,” and how would you bring it up?
Comments
>What’s your line for “too revealing,”
she can post whatever she wants on her social media. it’s her life, her body, her social media, her choice. the only one who gets to decide what is or isn’t “too revealing” is her.
you being uncomfortable with it is a you-problem, not a her-problem. your insecurity is your issue.
if you start telling her what she can or can’t wear or post, then yeah, you’re being controlling.
> I’m not okay with it,
made me uncomfortable.
why, specifically. what’s the problem. specifically, with her posting a pic on her own social media.
>It’s not something I’d want my girlfriend or someone I see as a future wife to post
first, why? what’s the problem? specifically.
second, then don’t be with her. like, you don’t get to choose what she posts. you do get to decide whether you want to be with someone who posts pics you dislike.
so if you dislike it and what someone who doesn’t do that, then just break up and find someone who doesn’t do that. simple.
I don’t know how a shower can be “exotic-style.”
She’s wearing a bikini, so she was out in public in this, right? Why do you have an issue with her posting a photo and not of her wearing the bikini?
Does she have a habit of entertaining men’s interest on her social media even though she’s in a relationship? Like DMing with men who respond to this kind of thing?
Do you look at or like “thirst traps” like this on social media? Does it seem like it’s explicitly advertising herself to men as interested in sex?
Can you believe that she wanted to post it because it was a cool location and she was wearing that bikini already, with out it being about being about looking for men’s attention?
Ask yourself, when you look at instagram (or wherever) and see a picture like this, what do you think or assume about the woman in it, that you don’t want people thinking and assuming about her?
Is that a product of what she was actually thinking of when she posted it, or is it a product of what you think when you see a photo like that?
What we consider doesn’t matter tbh. If a partner is uncomfortable with something their partner does, they need to talk about it. If they don’t agree on what’s acceptable in the relationship, then they’re not compatible and need to go their separate ways.
We all have diff levels of what we consider inappropriate, so our opinions don’t really factor into your relationship. You need to be with someone who has the same level of “morality” you do, for lack of a better word, regardless of what that entails. If you find it morally gross that she takes pics in a bikini, then you need a girl who feels the same.
I personally wouldn’t care. To me, its her body and her choice.
I think what’s considered too revealing in a relationship is really up to the people in the relationship to communicate. I told my partner I was uncomfortable with the amount of Instagram models he followed, but he stated before that it’s fine with him if I were to post similar(ish) content. Now, I would never really do that in general, but also I wouldn’t do it for the fact that it feels a bit hypocritical. I personally wouldn’t find it controlling if my partner came to me and told me that he was uncomfortable with a picture I posted. You do have to remember though, that it’s up to her to decide what she wants to do with that information.