Fuck if your damn personality wasn’t garbage maybe you’d have had a chance
But a lot of men are hyper sensitive to the fact I’m not blushing around them or smiling whatever the fuck guys love women to do…
Cant just work in peace
I actually lost a job once because of this shit.
I get uncomfortable around certain types of men because I get the sense they want me to start being their bitch.
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Ugh, totally feel you on this. Men need to check their ego at the door and realize the world doesn’t revolve around them. We’re at work to work, not play out your fantasy. Stand your ground, sis! 💪🔥
Wear a ring
In general I think it would be good to remember this is a them problem and not a you problem. Focus on grounding your energy, focusing on your work, and staying firm in your boundaries. Like picture a shield of light around you. While others expectations can definitely weigh on us, we are not obliged to fulfill those expectations. Keep calling you energy back and remembering that energy of expectation is theirs and you don’t have to carry it.
Working in a studio now and dealing with this. It’s so uncomfortable when they try to butter you up, and be all poetic/flirty and mysterious even though you just met and don’t care for anything but getting paid and going about your business.
I mean, I’m fucking hot too & learned how to just be superficially pleasant, which I guess is giving in? You sound like I actually feel, but have you had some trauma that makes how you react uncontrollable?
Question the story you are telling.
As clearly the one you are telling is keeping you continuing in this experience. Life is not happening to you, it’s happening for you. Its feedback to get your attention, to get you out of placing yourself on a pedestal and others in a pit or placing yourself in a pit and others on a pedestal.
It’s your job to unravel the lesson in it ( not about them ) but about the parts of you that you have convinced yourself of that is not like them, and that the world is to blame for the meaning you give to interactions and outcomes when it is not, its mirroring you.
This shit has happened to me. I run a golf course. 10 males and 2 females on staff. I had no idea what was happening until she came to me. 3 of the guys were being assholes. Fired immediately. The problem was she did better work than they did. They knew it. I told her if shit gets bad I’d never be angry if she proved a point by cracking a dude in the face. Not recommended but effective. lol!
Just gotta say this, dudes, we’re at work for the paycheck, not the peacock. Being friendly ≠ being flirty. Respect boundaries, my man. Were potential pals, not potential partners. Quit the creep vibes ASAP. I’m there to code, not cuddle. 🙄 FML.
Stop imagining all men are looking for their next girlfriend!
“I don’t date in the workplace under any circumstances.”
You got this!!
Yeah, this sucks so much and I really feel for you. And the guys who like the “bitchy” girl seem to like the idea of wearing you down… for some reason. It’s like they know you’re uninterested which must mean you’re out of their league. So if they’ve convinced you then that means they got a good one. But then they get all mad because they clearly stuck themselves in the line of fire for rejection?
What could possibly work is to say that you already have a BF, fiance or say that you don’t mess around with coworkers. The problem is this might make you seem more like a prize to be won to these types of guys and they’ll want to convince you even more. But usually if a women is already clammed by a man or if they feel like your disinterest has nothing to do with them as a person, they’ll usually back off.
But what is mostly likely to work is to report their behavior to management before they get too forward or pissy about your rejection. Just say “hey this guy is kinda making me feel a bit uncomfortable and I get the feeling that he’s trying to hit on me and I just don’t want there is be an issues in our coworker relationship. I don’t have a problem with him beyond that, i think he’s good to work with but I’m worried this behavior affect our work in the future.” You can say it face to face with them but I’d first send a text/email so there’s a paper trail. If he’s already gotten pissy with you then that’s fine just say tell them the truth: they were hitting on you, you politely declined, he feels rejected and you think the situation is straining your coworker relationship and might be affecting yours and other’s work.
If they still fire you then good riddance. You don’t want to work for those types of people.
Honestly, just work in peace. Everyone needs to mind their business
Just wondering In what country do you live ?