Hi, I’m 29 M and my GF is 30 F. We are together for more then 7 years. For me it was first real relationship. When we started dating, she just got out out of relationship. She is attentive, and really loving person. The first year I discovered that she is in close contact with her 2 ex boyfriends, she even told me so. For one of the ex boyfriend she sometimes did some cleaning of his flat. She told me that she just won’t cut off them, because she likes them as a friends, that she knows them for a long time. The thing here is that I’m slightly jealous and I don’t have any ex with whom I’m still be in contact. So its really unbalanced here.
Then she have some men friends (girly type), which I don’t particularly likes too.
And for the last. She had a office work one year, and her boss (not boss of the office, just some kind of her superior, like team leader I guess) started to feel something for her. She told me about it, but she said it’s just funny for her. But nevertheless she then went into our flat with him, because after some office party he was drunk so she let him sleep at our flat.
There are more things that shaken my trust to her, but these are like most of it. It’s a real history because it happened between first and second year we were together. But I don’t think many of the guys would stay with her. What do you think about that? Would you act differently? Did I trust her way too much?
Update: She stopped doing these things and even cut off her exs from her life (she knew they were bad for her) and we are mostly happy now.
Comments
Your feelings are valid and most people would struggle with the things she did early on. Trust is not just about honesty but also about respecting how your actions affect your partner. You didn’t trust her too much but you may have given more than you received in terms of emotional care. It’s okay to ask if this relationship still fits your needs.
Trust is crucial, but so is communication. If you’re uncomfortable, let her know openly yet respectfully and see how the relationship can be adjusted accordingly. You’re not wrong, you’re simply different.
Man, letting a guy who has feelings for her sleep at your place? That’s a boundary cross for most people. You’re not wrong for feeling uneasy
Mighty red flags there. Cut your losses.
Trust is key in any relationship. If she’s been honest about her actions and has since changed for the better, your past concerns may just be growing pains. Remember, clear communication also goes a long way!
Nah bro you’re not trippin. Most dudes wouldn’t be cool with that. It’s not even about being insecure she just has no boundaries. You kept it real and trusted her, she didn’t respect that.
Either she’s completely oblivious. Or she’s acting selfishly.
Ditch her and sell the red flag collection.
English not so good, outcome quite good.
Even if she’s been completely honest and she hasn’t done anything with these guys, it’s still a massive red flag that she enjoys spending time with people that want her while she’s in a relationship
Are you gonna Marry her or keep wasting her time?