I assume most women at that age will be in long term relationships so what is your dating pool age range? How common are casual encounters? What is the youngest you’d date seriously and how does this differ from the youngest you’d sleep with? Do you prefer being single or do you eventually want to settle down in a long term committed relationship?
What does dating look like for men who are 30+
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I assume most women at that age will be in long term relationships so what is your dating pool age range? How common are casual encounters? What is the youngest you’d date seriously and how does this differ from the youngest you’d sleep with? Do you prefer being single or do you eventually want to settle down with a woman (or man)?
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Dating in your 30s is a weird mix of “I know what I want” and “everyone’s carrying a bit of baggage now.” You do run into a lot of women in long-term relationships or freshly out of them, but the pool isn’t dry it’s just more complicated.
Dating in my 30’s was great. No hangups, got your money, know what you want and there’s plenty of women looking for decent guys.
To answer the question in the thread’s name: nonexistent for me personally. Monday to Friday is a 9-to-18 job and I am too tired and lacking in time to do anything of significance after. On weekends, there are familial and other obligations, plus I want to rest. I plan on changing the “weekends” situation in the near future however.
To answer other questions:
> What is your dating pool age range?
If you mean the range of a woman I’d date, then it’s from 21 to [my age]-1.
> How common are casual encounters?
Nonexistent.
> What is the youngest you’d date seriously and how does this differ from the youngest you’d sleep with?
As per one of the earlier replies, 21, presuming that she is not a teen mind-wise. I don’t date for fun, I date to find a “one and forever” woman.
> Do you prefer being single or do you eventually want to settle down in a long term committed relationship?
I prefer being single… but if I find a right woman I could see myself being with her “until death does us apart”.
At least people are more considerate than when I was younger. Still nothing though.
Porn hub baby
For me it’s great. I’m much more skilled with women than I was in my 20’s and thus much more attractive.
There are plenty of women available for whatever you want, as relationships end.
It has been a lot easier for me to hookups, be sex friend with divorced moms and find girlfriends.
Also women in their 30’s a more aware of their baggage (as am I) and it’s easier to have mature relationships. Of course you find some crazies from time to time.
I’m in my 40s and for me dating is the same as it was in my teens, my20s and my 30s: non-existent.
I got so used to being alone that when I see women that I find attractive, talking to them and potentially asking them out doesn’t even cross my mind.
Unique for me. I’m in a poly relationship. I’m not dating for any more long term partners atm. But I am open to flings and casual no strings fun.
But I don’t go looking for them, generally kept busy in my life as it is, it’s only if they show interest in me first.
Dating is bleak.
I was dating 4 years either side of my age but the last few women I dated who were older than me wanted children yesterday.
I want to date with someone for a couple of years before moving towards a family.
So now I date younger than me, my own age, or older women that don’t want kids
I’m 36, I’ll date 31-42 depending on their desires for a family
I would consider a physical relationship with someone 28-48, but I don’t really do that so it’s a miss
Only thing left after 30 is divorcees and single mothers. Fact. Unless you’re a charmer with cash flow! Had to explain this to a beautiful gf once who basically left me for money. Can you spell narcissistic gold digger?
Im in my mid 40s and tthe women I date range from mid twenties to mid thirties. Im not opposed to dating women in their late thirties or older. But they all tend to want to jump very quickly from casual to committed.
Im not dating, but as I hit my mid 30s it seems I get hit on more often by woman. I don’t complain though haha.
It’s 50% do you want kids? and 50% comparing trauma like Pokemon cards.
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You have money, women your age are less prone to mind games, they chase you more times than not, and women in the early 20s want you to have fun.
Looks great.
I got divorced at 39 (no kids), then spent a year wanting to be single. I’m 44 next month and still single. Gave up on trying a year ago. I tried every dating app, speed dating, going out, no single friends of friends. I got two matches that led to dates. Neither woman stuck around for more than two weeks.
So, fuck it. I’ll keep doing the roommate thing because it’s another person to split the rent, and I have plenty of friends for socializing. I spend my free time working on some projects or watching TV.
I’ve accepted that this is my life from here on out.
Well from my experience, the good ones are taken and the free ones are shaken.
There’s a reason you’ll find good looking people(men+women) long term single at these ages. Definitely it’s circumstances out of your control, but we can’t always point the finger ☝🏾 in other directions. We attract what we reflect after all.
It depends on how you view things as well though.
Dating isn’t impacted by age as much as it is by who you are.
There are 18 and 19 year olds swimming in numbers. Same for lots of 30 and 40 year olds.
Likewise there are socially awkward 20,30, and even 40 somethings who have barely touched or kissed a woman.
If you are not having luck now, adding years to the equation is not going to change that. People say “but more money and status” but unless you are rolling in dough, most women are going to have the same things you got or have men available to them who have what you have and more.
Moral of the story, forget about age. Work on being relaxed and putting yourself out there.
>I assume most women at that age will be in long term relationships so what is your dating pool age range?
So would most men.
I’m sure the overall single population is smaller in this age range but it applies to both sides so there’s less “competition” so to say.
I’m dating anywhere from 25-35, i’m mostly doing casual and 95% of the women I meet are also not really looking for anything serious, still monogamous but short term. I’m 32.
I tried a serious attempt last year/this year and it lasted 6 months before she said she preferred casual, but at this point i’d invested enough actual feelings into it that I figured it was best to go separate ways entirely.
I can still speak to the others and we hang (actually hang, not bang) occasionally.
I find that it is faster for me because many women feel like they are falling behind friends who are married and with kids and/or feel like they are in a time crunch for kids.
More money but still invisible for the most part. A lot more women have kids and are more likely to have more than one.
Dating for fun is nice. You (hopefully) have some financial stability which means you can go on better dates and attract higher quality women. You’re seen as more mature which makes you more appealing especially to younger women. You’re also less vulnerable to manipulation.
The downside is finding something serious will be a pain. Women 30 or older often have kids. Or they’ve started to decline in looks. Younger women just aren’t relationship material in most cases. They want to be free and do “hot girl” shit.
I’m open to dating any woman 18-28 though I’ve found my sweet spot to be 21-24. I prefer to be single, not necessarily because I’m disappointed with the dating market. I just tried the relationship thing in my college years and realized that it just isn’t my style.
Fat angry chicks with lots of baggage (children, debt etc.)
Everyone worth marrying is already married. Everyone you meet who is single is divorced, has kids, or is a terrible excuse for a human being. The entitlement, selfishness, and lack of effort on the part of the women I meet is astonishing and gets worse every year.
Dating in your 30’s is fine but you need to lower expectations. Before you may have not wanted baggage but almost everyone has baggage at that point ranging from debt to kids.
I could date a woman with kids but I see some women with 3 kids from 3 different dads and that’s way too much responsibility to take on.
My 20s were about meeting women and learning how to be in a relationship. Exciting times.
My 30s have been a dry spell. Absolutely nothing beyond some brief flirtations a couple years ago. It’s been so long that I feel like I’m forgetting how to approach women. I am more confident when speaking to them, but I am definitely rusty.
Eh, I mean I was last in the game late 20s so don’t think it’d be wildly different, and my girlfriend is a couple years older.
Overall think a lot really is dependent on geography and education level. If you’re college educated in a big city, being single in your 30s is very normal and a lot of people are actively dating around. So at 28 dated more women in the 8 months I was single than I did high school through grad school. Quality really varied- some had been through a lot of relationships, others had spent all their time on education and career so reached their 30s never having been in a relationship.
Honestly, at that point the youngest I went was 22. Really depends on individual maturity level though- when I was dating, I was looking for a life partner, not a fling. Someone to date 3 years or so, then get married. So +/- 4 years I found was the ideal age range.
And granted, I’m saying this as a guy with a graduate degree and a professional job in a big city, who regularly exercises. Realistically, dating would be quite different if you only have a high school degree and live in a rural area or suburb.
Even in your 50’s and above there’s more choice than ever. It helps to dress well and keep in shape.
You get hit on by girls in their 20’s and 30’s wanting a sugardaddy; by women in their late 30’s and 40’s desperate to settle down and have a baby and women in their 50’s and 60’s looking for retirement plan.
I’m cynical so I reckon all women carry risk and cost money. So you might as well enjoy the younger ones who still want intimacy (avoid getting them pregnant and don’t give them the benefit of a contract with the state by marrying them).
It looks suspiciously like not dating at all
I got out of a 6 year relationship on my 30th birthday. I don’t want a relationship anymore but it seems like the quality of everyone available to me became so low. They basically look worse, have more baggage, less tolerance, higher opinions of themselves for no reason, sometimes kids and demand so much more than the the younger ones I dated.
It feels unnatural. Suddenly you barely meet someone new and places where you can are overcrowded with Males.
Agegap becomes less of an issue. When I was in my mid20s I was looking at like 6 years age difference at max. Now I feel like its not that big of a deal. Maybe because social becomes more accepting towards this again and romantize it. It also doesn’t change who I would sleep with. Every 20y/o I would sleep with is good enough for a relationship too.
I like this quote. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
It’s awful
> so what is your dating pool age range?
Anywhere from old enough to drink and make me laugh to young enough that we don’t have to panic and rush trying to have a family before your ovaries pack up.
> How common are casual encounters? What is the youngest you’d date seriously and how does this differ from the youngest you’d sleep with?
If I don’t like you enough to consider a relationship with you, I’m not having sex with you.
> Do you prefer being single or do you eventually want to settle down in a long term committed relationship?
Being single and being in a relationship can both be burdensome, but only one of those comes with a future worth looking forward to.
A lot of divorcees determined to find Mr. right this time, and quite a few looking for Mr. right now. Older women play a lot fewer games than younger girls. They know what they want, and they are willing to wait for it. They can take it or leave it at their discretion.
I went for younger. Which means I was finding women that were looking to settle down and have kids before it was too late.
Now divorced after the baby mama in my late 40s dating is full of divorced people. If they aren’t divorced I kind of wonder what the heck they have been doing.
It’s fun or it was when I was single. Fates felt more relaxed and serious conversations
Awful. There are very few women worth a second thought.
31 here. Took a break from dating after my last relationship. It’s been almost two years since I’ve been in one.
24 would be the youngest I’d date seriously. The youngest I’d sleep with would be 20/21. An aggressive 18 year old might be tempting but I’d feel way too old.
I don’t seek casual encounters so much these days. The idea of getting physical with someone I don’t know isn’t exciting anymore. It was when I was in my early late teens early twenties.
Once I think I’m ready to look again, I do want to settle down. The only problem I have is there’s a decent fear about if things don’t work out. I’m in my 30s now. Not a whole lot of time to be messing around if I want to eventually marry and be a dad.
Met the love of my life in my 30s so I can definitely say it’s not too late.
Honestly, 30s is still pretty young. Some people will still be looking for casual encounters, while others will have their eyes set on their future life partner. What I do know is anyone saying they have it all figured out at this age is lying.
Most of the comments are negative leaning here so I’ll try to add some positive color. I’m 34M and I had my last serious relationship end when I was 24. I spent 10 years working on myself, working thru some demons, and becoming a better man who loves himself more than I ever have. I dated a couple random flings during that time and had a few one night stands (I live in major US city, so it’s easier than people who don’t I imagine).
Fast forward to a year ago, i decided I was ready to start taking dating more seriously, so started approaching women more in social settings and thru my hobbies, while also perusing hinge from time to time. Ten months ago I went to delete hinge cuz I was hating the OLD style, when I realized I had a message from a beautiful 31F I had sent a like to a month prior. Fast forward to now and she’s been my girlfriend since we met, and we’ve got a ton in common and everything is happening so naturally and at a good mature speed. We’re both very patient with each other and it’s very different than the last “serious” relationship I had. We both put each other first quite often, but both have acknowledged that we’re two independent people that spent a lot of time single, so always put ourselves first too (I think it’s a good and healthy approach/balance).
Think she may be the one and I hope it continues the way it has been the last ten months.
There is hope guys and gals.
(early 30s) Pretty great so far. People generally know what they want and like much better, are more confident in themselves, and largely have clearly sorted themselves into the “taking care of themselves and have their shit together” or…..not, camps.
As someone who’s also doing well, dating in the first group is pretty easy.
> I assume most women at that age will be in long term relationships so what is your dating pool age range?
Plenty of women at any age are in relationships. Plenty aren’t. I haven’t really noticed a difference from my 20s in that sense. That said, being in a major metro area matters a lot here, I am sure it’s very different in a rural small town.
+/- 5 years is about the furthest I really aim for. Not a strict rule, especially since I mostly meet people through life offline where that isn’t necessarily the first question, but that’s the point where I’d really have to think about it and probably wouldn’t go significantly beyond for anything serious.
> How common are casual encounters?
Not really any harder to come by if you want them.
> What is the youngest you’d date seriously and how does this differ from the youngest you’d sleep with?
27, 23 – but still wouldn’t really seek that out, just that’s the number below which I’d turn it down immediately.
> Do you prefer being single or do you eventually want to settle down in a long term committed relationship?
I could be happy either way, so seeing where life goes. If I find something I want to last and it does – great. If I don’t, I’ll enjoy the journey, and I’ll have an active social + love life regardless.
Also worth noting that I do not want kids and have already ruled them out, so I don’t have that clock/timing to care about.
That’s okay! dating after 30 is definitely a different vibe. Not bad, just… different.
First off, the good news — you usually know yourself better. Like, you’ve had time to figure out what you actually want (and don’t want). So you’re not out here playing guessing games or entertaining chaos just because someone’s cute. But yeah, it’s not all roses. People have jobs, responsibilities, maybe even kids. So planning a date might mean syncing calendars like it’s a business meeting. 😂 . Also, there’s this funny balance. You want to be chill, but also intentional. Like, Hey, I like you, but I also have a 10 p.m. bedtime and a lower tolerance for nonsense.Honestly, it can be fun though. People tend to be more upfront. Less fluff. More real convos. But yeah, there’s still weirdos too. 😂
For me, it’s the same it’s always been. Rejection after rejection, continue pursuing, get rejected.
Depending on how you took care of yourself, your finances, your social skills, location and how you want to shape your life it can be hit or miss.
I think i’m doing pretty decent. Have enough convo’s and dates going if i want to.
Only downside is, i’m childfree by choice and don’t want to get married and also will never date a single mom again for a LTR. This reduces my dating pool significantly.
If i were to want children and marriage, i could of have bagged some real dimepieces, but that is not the life i want.
I have a couple of women only as FWB’s, a couple i’m interested in meeting to see how things go, sometimes a one night stand here and there.
As a 34M, the youngest i’ll date for casual dating is 21. Nothing serious and just fun. Oldest maybe 40 if she took care of herself.
For a serious LTR between 26 and 38 i’d say. All in all i have nothing to complain about.
I do notice that the majority of women i meet now do have some sort of baggage, are desperate for kids or unresolved mental issues.
The same as yours 20s. Just now your knee kinda hurts
Have a few mates in this boat, all I can say is that you really should socialize more in your 20s. Because at 30+ it’s just a bunch of people settling, and if you want kids, well good luck with that, not many women can take the risk of geriatric pregnancy. People tend to have more baggage, both emotional and medically, and standards have never been higher with the spread of social media. There’s cultural impacts as well, so hard to say how dating might turn out for you, but a quote I can’t quite place goes something like this: you marry someone you meet at Uni, or you marry an idiot from work.
> I assume most women at that age will be in long term relationships so what is your dating pool age range?
Don’t have a number because it’s not an age that makes you attractive or unattractive, it’s the way you move through life.
> How common are casual encounters?
Never experienced any and don’t really look for them anyway.
> What is the youngest you’d date seriously and how does this differ from the youngest you’d sleep with?
I don’t have those kinds of rigid thoughts. Whether you’re 20 or 50 if you’re pleasant to be around, supportive of me, and show a desire to be in my space then I want you in my life.
> Do you prefer being single or do you eventually want to settle down in a long term committed relationship?
I want a long term relationship. I want to love someone and be loved by someone.
I dont
I’ve always been kinda weird with dating in that I didn’t like settling and ended up unintentionally hitting and quitting A LOT in my 20s.
That said, dating in my 30s so far has been similar but also the added feature of baggage that comes with being single in your 30s for men and women. As someone who wants kids, it also makes me a bit more anxious since I don’t have as much time to “waste” on dating unless I go after women in their 20s, which I haven’t much just given the women I do tend to attract.
Anyway, point is, dating in your 30s doesn’t really allow that sense of “freedom” you get in your 20s when you know you have more time to assess the partner.
Just recently got separated from my fiancee. Was ready to start trying for kids this year or next – now back to the drawing board. Should be interesting. I do feel as if I know what I want for the most part in a partner, so that’s the motivation for now.
I didn’t have much of an issue when I was just trying to date. I thought it would suck trying to date in my late 30s, but it is what you make it. I at least had a better idea of what I don’t want. Can definitely agree with the sentiment of there being more baggage, but there is also potentially more experience too. When I met my girlfriend seven months ago, I wasn’t really expecting to meet someone that I connected with so easily. If anything, all the mistakes I had from dating when I was younger and having a eight year relationship that went sour gave me more wisdom, just as her having been previously married give her wisdom
At 30 you are just the right age to date some from their 20s to their 40s and the attitude/, lifestyle , and personality and goals and purpose for you vary wildly.
Dating someone older? She probably doesn’t want to get married to or have kids. But she may already have that baggage or he mentally unserious for that kind of stuff.
Someone around your age? They too have probably already been in a long term thing and are looking for a better match. If they are slightly younger they probably want to get married quickly. Like 1-2 years
Someone way younger? They are gonna be high energy, go out a lot, and not understand stuff in life you take for granted. They won’t understand basic adult stuff. They may not understand how to emotionally self regulate due to how they were raised
Severely damaged young hot woman in there 20s with low body counts or double standards driven woman with unrealistic expectations looking semihot in there 30s with massive body counts
When I was 32 I met the woman who I wanted to settle down with. We had our acts together by then and were mature enough to do the thing. Bought property, got married, had two kids. Now, at 52, I’m happily divorced!
Dating in your 30’s feels great
The unnecessary standards like height, dark skin, blue eyes requirement are not there
The catch is, we all have a bit more baggage
Hard. I had a period of a few years single between breaking up with my exBF at 33 and meeting my GF at 36.
Trying to find women on dating apps willing to date bi men is like finding a needle in a haystack, as is trying to meet men who want to date seriously and not just hook up.
As for youngest I’d date seriously, I’m 37 and my GF will be 30 later this year. That’s about the biggest age gap I’d be comfortable with. I just don’t have much in common with men or women in their mid 20s anymore.
I’m 37. It’s a weird age because I’m sort of a middle ground between potentially start a family and have kids with 35 and under women, verse, probably not happening, 35 and older women.
Women that are single at this age have virtually all been cheated on, or had some alcoholic/drug addict ex bf experience. Not much trust there.
Otherwise, it’s frustrating because of how much money they expect me to spend on them. The level of entitlement of attractive women continues to astound me.
Finally, I’m probably an 8/10 looks wise that makes good money as an attorney. I don’t have much problem dating, but most of my average single guy friends are basically fucked. As far as I can tell, any non fat women are exclusively dating top 10-20% of guys – no chance for anyone else. And then they’re bitter when they constantly get dropped after 2-3 months.
Dating in my 30s has been good. I went to therapy so I know myself and am much more secure, healthy, and transparent. This makes me have “successful” dates with most women. By successful I mean that they are good dates with the women wanting to go on more dates. The problem is that I know what I’m looking for and I know what I want, so if I don’t feel the spark I have to end most these “matches” after the first or second date. I could sleep with them but I’m not looking to sleep around or to lie to someone. I’m looking for a chemistry and a genuine connection. Someone I actually like hanging out with. And that is hard to find.
So to summarize, much better than my 20s because I’m considered a “catch” since I’m different from the mysoginist/trashy men in dating apps , but much harder because genuine, real connections are not easy to find.
Non-existent in my case, as I choose not to.
Casual encounters? Never had one. Don’t want marriage or kids either.
The pool has been getting dry, it feels like everyone is pretty much taken and some of those that are single might have issues or don’t want to date anymore, I feel like I have to settle for being single for the remainder of my life.
I am passed my 30’s now but when I was, I was literally unable to find a normal person through any active “dating” channels or apps. It was always someone with incredible baggage or weird restrictions or poly or a scam.
I was not ever able to make meaningful connections in real life by participating in social activities that put me in contact with new people. Making connections in person is scarier, and harder, and more sporadic, but yields better results in the long run imo
It’s freaking brutal tbh. Unless you are a 10 on tinder or loaded. If you’re average it’s rough.
If have $, easy. I have gone out with 19 year olds, 22 year olds, many 25 year olds, in past 2 years and I’m nearly 40
“I assume most women at that age will be in long term relationships”
Uh, speak for yourself
you ever been in a used car lot with salvaged titles? /s
There is a saying, anybody who is single past 30 is single for a reason. In my experience looking for something long term women tend to fall into one of the fallowing categories:
Divorced and still bitter. Even if they were not married they are out of a committed relationship and are projecting issues from that relationship onto the next one.
Excessively high standards. Any woman who had realistic standards as to what a man was to be has found a guy, and what is left are women who seemed to have formed their ideals of what a guy should be from young adult and hallmark movies. This seems to be the bulk of them in my experience.
Open man haters. I don’t even know why these women even say yes to dates, every guy is just in the constant wrong. They are almost never had a relationship and only complain about men only using them.
Grown children with drinking permits. Some of these drink too much (or other drugs). Some need a substitute father in their life. Some still have their parents do a shocking amount of things in their life. And many who are simply bad with finances.
For me it looks nonexistent. I’m not the type to put myself in situations where I’m likely to meet someone, and I’m not on any of the apps.
For me dating in my 30s is less about impressing and more about aligning. Fewer games, more intention, and a sharper sense of what I will and won’t tolerate. The bad side however is that most people carry more baggage (including myself), and emotional availability can be very rare.
Im 32 atm, the youngest i’d go is 25.
I like the idea of something long-term, but solitude and cultivating my purpose and peace is my main focus
Everyone is taken or gay
It’s easier, actually. Men tend to get more attractive with age, up til about 50. It’s women who peak at 23. At about 30, men and women dating market value inverts the power dynamic in relationships.
Yes, you hate this and it’s not fair. That doesn’t mean it’s not true or something that is changeable. (much of male and female sexuality is instinctual driven. The preferences aren’t learned and can’t be unlearned. All we can do is to plan around them.) I’d also point out that it felt just as unfair to be a 20 year old guy having zero dating success, while watching my female peers getting spoiled for choice.
Each gender gets it’s moment in the sun. They just do it at different ages.
The answer to this depends where you live.
My experience as a 31 man is most women have baggage, some aren’t looking for long term. Those that want long term are more cautious.
I’m currently dating a 37 woman.
It’s a small dating pool. Most of the available and interested women are in their 20s or in their 40s. The 30+ cohort is almost nonexistent.
What dating?
Like taking candy from a baby
I got money, know what I want. I am in shape. I can easily get girls but my wife will kill me
Not looking good for women.
That aside.
Married so none of this is relevant unless that changes.
Why do you assume most women that age will be in long term relationships?
🤡 super positive mate
Depends on what you are bringing to the table.
33 here. Most of the women I meet around my age are either fresh out of messy relationships or spent their 20s healing from one. There’s not much middle ground. I’m not into casual stuff — it might be more common in certain circles, but I’ve never done well with it.
Youngest I’d seriously date (or sleep with) is probably 25. I prefer the peace that comes with being single, but long-term commitment is the end goal. The hard part is finding someone who knows their baggage — either they’ve worked through it, or they’re open to letting someone walk with them while they do. I’ve run into a lot of “I’m not in a place for a real relationship right now,” and while I get it, it makes finding something meaningful a bit tougher
Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time?
I’m scared that I’ll find out