Apologies in advance for the ramblings, I’m in a wistful mood tonight. I’ve just been feeling like I’m floating through life lately and things have been pretty good which I’m grateful for but it almost makes me anxious like I’m not thinking enough about what could happen, not planning for the what ifs or steering my life in a particular direction. I know what’s important to me and I try to organize my life around that but I guess when I watch movies or read books about people who are obsessively focused on one goal or passion and it consumes their whole lives I wonder if that’s like the “right” way to live? Maybe if you live like that then you don’t feel so anxious?
Basically I’m curious what gives your life meaning? Is it more important to have lofty goals and dedicate your life to doing something great, or do you find satisfaction in simple joys?
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Faith & Family
I have always been driven by objective thinking for some reason, I can’t really explain why. I’m not saying I’m a master of my emotions, I am definitely not. But, I’ve always been able to look at the bigger picture than dwell on momentary, emotional, pleasurable hang ups and make better trade offs (I wouldn’t call them “sacrifices”).
Spent most of my teens to mid 20s as an atheist and eventually found the answers in Catholicism. I am not good at practicing it, not even a little, it’s hard to get rid of the indifference; but the history and science behind it has altered the way I approach life & the world itself. So, that’s what gives my life meaning, I guess.
Accepting that I wasn’t a goal-oriented person actually reduced my anxiety a lot. Now I focus on intentionally appreciating all the little things that make me happy to be a human, from how good my coffee and breakfast taste in the morning to what a crazy cool thing it is to be able to pick up a little device and talk to my family face-to-face even though they live 3,000 miles away. It might seem corny but given everything going on in the world I’m trying to spend more time noticing and being amazed by all the things I’ve been taking for granted, and I think it’s working? Another catalyst for this was a friend’s recent passing, which has hit me pretty hard.
I’m still stressed out about plenty, and my life is definitely not perfect, but slowing down and really thinking about everything that had to happen to get me to this exact moment of [whatever I’m experiencing at the time] really helps me reframe when I start to feel a little aimless. I’m not grinding to the top of the corporate success ladder, but being grateful for the things I experience every day doesn’t feel passive at all.
I’ve always been a goal-oriented person so I feel stagnant if I’m not working toward a huge goal (which can be a problem for me, too). Achieving the goals I’ve set for myself has given me a lot of satisfaction and confidence. But I also find joy in simple things (spending time with people I love, reading a good book, watching a great movie in a cinema, tending to my plants, etc.).