What I never told my ex, and what was the final straw in me leaving.

This happened several years ago. The relationship with my ex was already on the rocks and he was becoming more irresponsible and aggressive by the day and was unwilling to attend therapy. I was mostly working up the courage to leave and make sure I had somewhere to go since we lived together.

We were having to put his cat Simon down because he had an extremely aggressive tumor growing in his chest. The tumor was causing his lungs to fill with fluid and put pressure on his heart. Because of the aggressive nature of the tumor, it was unlikely surgery would be long term successful. Plus, Simon was very old and not likely to survive the surgery, let alone the recovery.

My ex kept delaying putting Simon down despite his breathing growing more and more distressed. Instead of scheduling an appointment to have him humanely euthanized, he just kept asking the vet to increase his steroids and diuretics to buy him more time. Delay the inevitable. Finally it got to a point where he was suffering and I picked him up and told my ex to get into the car – we were going to the emergency vet to have him put down. (It was Friday after hours so the only vet open was the emergency vet)

We get there and my ex says goodbye to him and then leaves the room because he can’t handle watching it. So, I stayed and comforted Simon as best I could. Despite how hard it was for him to breathe at this point, he looked around for my ex and was trying to get up and follow him despite having no strength to do so. That cat was my ex’s shadow. That cat loved him. My ex had had him since he was a kitten. They were bonded. I was just the spare human. But I didn’t want him to be alone when he died.

I managed to get him to calm down and talked to him sweetly and loved on him before the vet pushed the meds. He passed very quickly, he had no strength left. I brushed down his fur and said my goodbyes to him before going back out to the lobby. I ended up having to foot the bill for having him put down because my ex had spent all his money on weed. But, it was the best money I ever spent. Watching him suffer was horrific and I realized my ex was an irresponsible coward. He let Simon suffer just so he wouldn’t have to make that choice.

I will never forgive my ex for what he did to Simon. He was an awesome cat that didn’t deserve to suffer like that.
But even still, I never told my ex how hard Simon fought to find him again after he left the room before the end. I know it would break him. But I could never forgive my ex either. I left not too long after that and I still feel so angry whenever I think of it.