Saw this question come up on my “reccomended threads/ discover new threads” and I can’t read the comments unless I have the app…. Though Reddit would have better answers anyways.
Honestly, it depends on the person and the kind of trauma imo
For example, I joke way too much and overshare so that people think I say everything there is to say. I don’t know if it’s related to my childhood, though.
Always asks how others are doing, check up on you, etc…
ghosts you for absolutely no reason sometimes (that reason is probably a depressive episode caused by a trigger)
over apologies, assumes everything’s their fault. Or the exact opposite, they don’t know how to feel open enough to apologize because it requires vulnerability.
Never takes credit for anything/understates how good/skilled they are
Personal hygiene may be lacking (if the trauma was really bad)
Apologizes for everything slightly paranoid
Prefers to work alone
Has quiet spells
May struggle to follow instructions
All my personal experience however Friend of mine also had a traumatic childhood he’s one of the nicest, organised and kindest people I’ve met his brother however fits the above statements massively
They go to water as soon as someone starts yelling. It doesn’t matter if its not directed towards them or not, it will trigger their flight or fight response
Flinching when you raise your hand above thier head, I don’t think alot of people realize this about me or maybe they do but I flinch involuntarily when someone raise thier hands above me. I rly tried hard not the flinch but I can’t, like it is just ingrained in me.
It varies from person to person, people are complex and what you gather from childhood is a grab-bag:
Paying for others when you’re broke, yourself.
Bad teeth, bad hygiene and house cleaning, or being obsessed with cleanliness to a fault.
Taking small slights very personally; shutting people out when they cross a boundary most others don’t have because it was drilled into you as a kid.
Undervaluing your skills and not believing you’re worth a great paycheck.
Complicated relationship with drugs and alcohol. “One son never touches a drop, the other never leaves the bottle.”
Severe internalized bodyshaming, both of yourself and others. However they look, I’ve seen people hate on themselves, and people who both hate themselves and others.
There’s not a clean-cut “good or bad” to a bad childhood. It can make you empathetic or not. Prepare you for life or derail you. Good friends and distance can help.
I can’t always tell if someone has gone through childhood trauma or what kind, but I can tell if someone did not have a traumatic childhood.
How I grew up, everyone had a traumatic childhood. In different ways, but we were around a lot of substance abuse and dysfunction. My friends were the same as me in that way, and it was just life.
I remember flippantly telling a friend I made in my 20s about one time my mom called the cops on my dad as a minor detail in a story, and she acted like I told her I grew up in North Korea haha. I didn’t even get to finish the story. She couldn’t believe I experienced “such a terrible thing.” And I was like and I can’t believe you went your whole childhood without one of your parents getting arrested 🤣we had a hard time connecting for other reasons and didn’t stay close friends. I felt judged by her and I think she felt judged by me. We were obviously from two different worlds.
Seeks attention, responds to disrespect with either silence or aggressive anger, cannot think for themselves, overly independent, latching onto strangers, substance abuse.
There really is no one set way that trauma manifests except that they’ll probably have some ongoing dysfunction in their life and issues with proper emotional regulation. Not every single survivor is the meek, apologetic type.
They are perfectionists – these tend to be the top performers in a job. They do their jobs exactly how it needs to be done down to the detail. These workers often come off as a bit intense and can’t relax. They overwork themselves
They isolate themselves way more than what is considered normal for your average introvert. They avoid any circumstances where they are surrounded by people. You could describe this as avoidance.
They rarely ask for help and may push themselves harder to get things done so they can avoid asking for help.
They have trust issues and can’t be vulnerable. They may say and do things to avoid being rejected (people pleasers), or just be avoidant in general during social situations.
Being really good at anticipating other’s needs, while putting your own to the side. At times I don’t even know that I have a desire for something because my default is to not even think about what I want.
Eg. When interpreting why someone (or you) did something, they come up with needlessly shitty reasons, when there are plenty of innocent or noble reasons that would also explain doing the thing
It shows at best that they grew up surrounded by shitty people, and at worst that they are a shitty person and think it’s normal
-PTSD-CPTSD
-impulsive behaviour
-substance abuse
-day dreaming
-disassociates
-irritability
-hyperventilation
-angry outbursts
-avoiding people,places or things
-self-destructive behaviours
-isolate self
Again depends on the trauma and the person everyone deals with things differently. Some people you couldn’t even tell gone through anything as they can mask it well.
I don’t think I’ve had the classical traumatic childhood, just my parents were emotionally distant due to their traumas.
Everyone in my family has some sort of chronic illness, but I seemed to be coping the best, so I didn’t really have the room to ask for help when I needed it.
There was however a lot of medical “trauma”, doctors not taking me seriously, treatments withheld, etc.
Going apoplectic about seemingly innocuous shit. Example: I answer the phone with a singsong “hello?” and my ex barked on me for “answering the phone like [I] thought [she] was a dummy.” Because her mom would do that and literally go knock knock on her head.
Often referring to a deeply traumatic experience and almost immediately downplaying it. Example: parent getting their ass handed to them by addiction is exceedingly mean to then-kid, punches kid in the face for not giving up allowance (from the other parent) and hides kid at grandma’s house to conceal the black eye from others. “But it’s not like that happened all the time or I had a bad childhood.”
Fawning, fawning, and fawning some more. Example: “WOW, I wish I was as talented as you,” followed by proverbially kicking themselves down the stairs. Conversely, this person cannot accept or sit comfortably with a sincere compliment or positive observation.
Open resentment of children (sometimes elderly people, and/ or disabled people) because of their “neediness” or “entitlement.” Example: people who assume
/ believe kids age 0 to 8, no matter what, are manipulating them by crying. That all teenagers are evil and sneaky. Or, my personal favorite, that their own kid owes them for housing and nourishment etc.
How they are when it comes to romantic relationships. They don’t know how to pick a good partner and go from partner to partner. Keep on getting treated poorly and then ask “why?”. Don’t know healthy boundaries in relationships. They don’t know it’s healthy to say no to sex when they just start a relationship. Sleep with someone the first time they meet them. Go out one time and they are all in on the person and already can’t see red flags. They were so used to seeing unhealthy romantic relationships growing up that they can’t see red flags that are obvious to most people. High tolerance for bad behavior in relationships. For some reason they don’t know it’s not a good idea to date someone on drugs or who is an alcoholic. Somehow, they expect the person on drugs or alcohol will make a good partner (same with gang members, drug dealers, and the like).
Their hygiene, especially teeth, are not up to par. I feel like adult who had trauma in their childhood, lack some of the most basic skills because they were in straight up survival mode and it’s not easy to form habits that you should of learned in childhood as an adult, I say as a 30 year old with all on 4 dental implants, who struggles greatly with hygiene.
Comments
apologizes for everything
Body language
Extremely empathetic
someone who’s closed off , doesnt let their guard down.
Saw this question come up on my “reccomended threads/ discover new threads” and I can’t read the comments unless I have the app…. Though Reddit would have better answers anyways.
It depends on how old that person is but getting angry for no reason is a sign.
Apologizing too much
I’m glad to see a lot of wrong answers here.
Source – me
Honestly, it depends on the person and the kind of trauma imo
For example, I joke way too much and overshare so that people think I say everything there is to say. I don’t know if it’s related to my childhood, though.
They are really funny and have great comedic timing.
“I had a traumatic childhood,” said the person, immediately.
Always asks how others are doing, check up on you, etc…
ghosts you for absolutely no reason sometimes (that reason is probably a depressive episode caused by a trigger)
over apologies, assumes everything’s their fault. Or the exact opposite, they don’t know how to feel open enough to apologize because it requires vulnerability.
Just look at the way they stand. People who have good childhoods dont stand like that.
“Sorry”
I have most of these traits and my childhood was great…parents were separated for a time but I never felt upset about it
Avoidant
Substance abuse
When they flinch when you get close to them
Not falling apart when everyone else is freaking out AND freaking out when there’s nothing to freak out about
Chronic digestive disorder/autoimmune disorders.
Never takes credit for anything/understates how good/skilled they are
Personal hygiene may be lacking (if the trauma was really bad)
Apologizes for everything slightly paranoid
Prefers to work alone
Has quiet spells
May struggle to follow instructions
All my personal experience however Friend of mine also had a traumatic childhood he’s one of the nicest, organised and kindest people I’ve met his brother however fits the above statements massively
They won’t stop talking about it
Usually people on either end of social interaction or hierarchy.
The really quiet ones or the really loud ones often have heartbreaking stories to tell.
Jittery and jumpy. Signs of abusive trauma.
Brags and tells lots of lies
They listen before trying to respond. Most are very good listeners and provide a high level of empathy towards others and care less for themselves.
They go to water as soon as someone starts yelling. It doesn’t matter if its not directed towards them or not, it will trigger their flight or fight response
Flinching when you raise your hand above thier head, I don’t think alot of people realize this about me or maybe they do but I flinch involuntarily when someone raise thier hands above me. I rly tried hard not the flinch but I can’t, like it is just ingrained in me.
They don’t talk about their childhood and they’re not fans of family oriented holidays like Christmas and thanksgiving
Constantly beating themselves up for the most insignificant goofs.
How come a lot of these fit me perfectly
It varies from person to person, people are complex and what you gather from childhood is a grab-bag:
Paying for others when you’re broke, yourself.
Bad teeth, bad hygiene and house cleaning, or being obsessed with cleanliness to a fault.
Taking small slights very personally; shutting people out when they cross a boundary most others don’t have because it was drilled into you as a kid.
Undervaluing your skills and not believing you’re worth a great paycheck.
Complicated relationship with drugs and alcohol. “One son never touches a drop, the other never leaves the bottle.”
Severe internalized bodyshaming, both of yourself and others. However they look, I’ve seen people hate on themselves, and people who both hate themselves and others.
There’s not a clean-cut “good or bad” to a bad childhood. It can make you empathetic or not. Prepare you for life or derail you. Good friends and distance can help.
I can’t always tell if someone has gone through childhood trauma or what kind, but I can tell if someone did not have a traumatic childhood.
How I grew up, everyone had a traumatic childhood. In different ways, but we were around a lot of substance abuse and dysfunction. My friends were the same as me in that way, and it was just life.
I remember flippantly telling a friend I made in my 20s about one time my mom called the cops on my dad as a minor detail in a story, and she acted like I told her I grew up in North Korea haha. I didn’t even get to finish the story. She couldn’t believe I experienced “such a terrible thing.” And I was like and I can’t believe you went your whole childhood without one of your parents getting arrested 🤣we had a hard time connecting for other reasons and didn’t stay close friends. I felt judged by her and I think she felt judged by me. We were obviously from two different worlds.
Seeks attention, responds to disrespect with either silence or aggressive anger, cannot think for themselves, overly independent, latching onto strangers, substance abuse.
There really is no one set way that trauma manifests except that they’ll probably have some ongoing dysfunction in their life and issues with proper emotional regulation. Not every single survivor is the meek, apologetic type.
They are perfectionists – these tend to be the top performers in a job. They do their jobs exactly how it needs to be done down to the detail. These workers often come off as a bit intense and can’t relax. They overwork themselves
They isolate themselves way more than what is considered normal for your average introvert. They avoid any circumstances where they are surrounded by people. You could describe this as avoidance.
They rarely ask for help and may push themselves harder to get things done so they can avoid asking for help.
They have trust issues and can’t be vulnerable. They may say and do things to avoid being rejected (people pleasers), or just be avoidant in general during social situations.
Thinks they know what other people are thinking.
Flinching at loud noises.
Anger problems
Being really good at anticipating other’s needs, while putting your own to the side. At times I don’t even know that I have a desire for something because my default is to not even think about what I want.
> Immediately
Hiding under the table.
The desire to be right in everything or the extreme opposite, extreme downplaying of their ability of correctness
They assume the worst of people.
Eg. When interpreting why someone (or you) did something, they come up with needlessly shitty reasons, when there are plenty of innocent or noble reasons that would also explain doing the thing
It shows at best that they grew up surrounded by shitty people, and at worst that they are a shitty person and think it’s normal
-PTSD-CPTSD
-impulsive behaviour
-substance abuse
-day dreaming
-disassociates
-irritability
-hyperventilation
-angry outbursts
-avoiding people,places or things
-self-destructive behaviours
-isolate self
Again depends on the trauma and the person everyone deals with things differently. Some people you couldn’t even tell gone through anything as they can mask it well.
I saw this on Threads the other day:
the way they:
And this describes me to a T…
I don’t think I’ve had the classical traumatic childhood, just my parents were emotionally distant due to their traumas.
Everyone in my family has some sort of chronic illness, but I seemed to be coping the best, so I didn’t really have the room to ask for help when I needed it.
There was however a lot of medical “trauma”, doctors not taking me seriously, treatments withheld, etc.
Also a few forced sexual advances.
I don’t feel traumatised, but it’s possible.
Constantly swearing all the time. Always joking about everything, even personal stuff. Having no filter
Going apoplectic about seemingly innocuous shit. Example: I answer the phone with a singsong “hello?” and my ex barked on me for “answering the phone like [I] thought [she] was a dummy.” Because her mom would do that and literally go knock knock on her head.
Often referring to a deeply traumatic experience and almost immediately downplaying it. Example: parent getting their ass handed to them by addiction is exceedingly mean to then-kid, punches kid in the face for not giving up allowance (from the other parent) and hides kid at grandma’s house to conceal the black eye from others. “But it’s not like that happened all the time or I had a bad childhood.”
Fawning, fawning, and fawning some more. Example: “WOW, I wish I was as talented as you,” followed by proverbially kicking themselves down the stairs. Conversely, this person cannot accept or sit comfortably with a sincere compliment or positive observation.
Open resentment of children (sometimes elderly people, and/ or disabled people) because of their “neediness” or “entitlement.” Example: people who assume
/ believe kids age 0 to 8, no matter what, are manipulating them by crying. That all teenagers are evil and sneaky. Or, my personal favorite, that their own kid owes them for housing and nourishment etc.
How they are when it comes to romantic relationships. They don’t know how to pick a good partner and go from partner to partner. Keep on getting treated poorly and then ask “why?”. Don’t know healthy boundaries in relationships. They don’t know it’s healthy to say no to sex when they just start a relationship. Sleep with someone the first time they meet them. Go out one time and they are all in on the person and already can’t see red flags. They were so used to seeing unhealthy romantic relationships growing up that they can’t see red flags that are obvious to most people. High tolerance for bad behavior in relationships. For some reason they don’t know it’s not a good idea to date someone on drugs or who is an alcoholic. Somehow, they expect the person on drugs or alcohol will make a good partner (same with gang members, drug dealers, and the like).
Many people had traumatic childhoods, my father drank
They don’t remember anything from their childhood
Very bad at containing healthy relationships + obsessive but avoidant
Will go silent instead of disagreeing or offering an alternative to any small thing
Their hygiene, especially teeth, are not up to par. I feel like adult who had trauma in their childhood, lack some of the most basic skills because they were in straight up survival mode and it’s not easy to form habits that you should of learned in childhood as an adult, I say as a 30 year old with all on 4 dental implants, who struggles greatly with hygiene.
Responds to this question with a bunch of pop psychology that basically boils down to “they are a very goated people! 😌”
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