This topic came up at work and a lot of the answers from the guys were different than I expected. I’m not asking about your perfect, ideal fantasy woman. I’m genuinely curious to know what kind of things (physical or non-physical) have actually compelled you to approach a woman.
What initial attractions a man to a woman?
r/AskMen
Comments
I can’t tell anything non physical about a woman who I didn’t approach yet.
So for me its mostly her figure and body language.
I love skinny/fit women and thats the first thing I notice usually.
If she also seems smiling / fun and doesn’t seem like she doesn’t want to be approached I’ll probably shoot my shot
Sometimes beauty.
Sometimes kindness.
I don’t aproach women for dating, I don’t want to annoy them or worse creep them out.
>I’m genuinely curious to know what kind of things (physical or non-physical) have actually compelled you to approach a woman.
Nothing has even compelled me to approach a woman. It’s not something I have ever done or will ever do.
In online dating, it’s a mix of being attractive and giving off the vibe that she can actually contribute to a conversation.
Cant go wrong with intelligent and beautiful
When you can openly tell she takes care of herself and carries herself with grace
Non-physical? Well, I needed my taxes done. I decided to take the risk and approach her while she was at work. It ended up going great. $1800 tax return. That is better than any date I have ever been on!
>compelled you to approach a woman
I guess the first thing to note here is that this something different from initial attraction as your title said. The thing that catches a mans eye is usually a visual thing, can be looks or an action that stands out from whats around – doesn’t even have to be something good, this is basically just grabbing attention. When it comes to finding someone attractive THATS where attention has to be paired with something positive they observe. And after that its usually a positive social cue – no need to approach a person who seems highly antisocial.
With all that said, the positive social cue may not matter when social interaction does not matter… for example on a ONS. Why would he care for bad personality when he and her are only intersted in solving the good old puzzle down the waist.
Her eyes, the way they lit up wen they see me.
Her smile, the way she looks at me and blushes.
The way she moves her hair back
The way she walks….
The way she reacts to my words.
To my touch….Like I am her universe and she needs me to worship her body…
Charming, smart, good heart
Physical attractiveness is a woman who knows how to keep herself fit, her body language and most importantly knows what kind of outfits actually look good on her. This is something a lot of women follow, so won’t approach solely based of these factors.
Non- Physical attractiveness is when a woman is nice and kind to people! Even the people she just met. If she’s overly extrovert while being nice, I immediately find them unattractive. And a woman who knows how to speak and communicate well is very attractive to me. This would be more of a reason along w the above for me to approach one.
Confidence.
It makes me drawn to her like a moth to the flame.
I can’t explain it. Women who know themselves and their worth–that’s just priceless.
Long beautiful nails for some reason
There is a minimal set of things you can glean from a pure stranger prior to approach and talking to them. So if you’re talking about what compels us, it’s being at the same location (and either a shared community or a shared hobby) and it’s physical attraction. Technically she could be wearing certain things that point to shared interest but by and large you’re talking about physical attractiveness and being in the same place You can improve your chances of being chosen to be approached by a playful smirk, a hand gesture to wave me over, and playing with your hair while looking at me.
Intellect, professional success, ideals, independent, empowered…
All those are (in increasing order) do you think are relevant or even positive?
The obvious things you expect- kindness/consideration, confidence, intelligence etc.
Biceps
Long hair, good figure, the way she moves. If she smiles back I’ll be there. If there’s no drama, nagging or bossiness I’ll give her the key to my house.
Now those 3 together I’ve not found yet
They have to be kind, endearing, and supportive. Looks wise, I like strong legs/butt, but in general, I’d really just prefer someone athletic because I’m tired of being tired.
Short, petite, cute
Feminine, sweet, caring, supportive and definitely shows interest in me
your title and the body of the post have different questions, so I will answer both of them.
The only thing that anyone will be initially attracted to is physical characteristics. I like a curvy skinny figure with red hair myself.
As to what compelled me to approach a woman, that will be different. Its harder to not be labelled as a creep when approaching someone, so make sure you are in a setting that you want someone to advance on you. I personally like advancing on someone that looks open to talking to strangers. someone that looks lonely and is trying to already initiate conversation with strangers is a plus, so always try to be friendly and put yourself out there.
After we start a convo, I prefer someone who can hold a train of thought and can hold their own in a conversation. (I know this sounds incredibly basic, but I swear the amount of times the woman I talk to ignores what I said just to say something that dismisses what I said entirely is annoying and a complete turn off.) So, being an active listener is key.
The last thing that would make me hit it off with someone is simply if they showed interest in me too. After all of this, I would ask them on a date. This is all simple, but I swear that it is so uncommon.
If they’re cute and if I’m single at the time, if they’re are doing a hobby in a social space I’m interested in ie gaming, run club, fitness, etc
Physical attractiveness, how she carries herself, her fashion sense, is she invoking my raw sexual attraction towards her making me want to own and ravish her? etc. This is primary for me in dating.
The subtle facial gestures she makes when interacting with people