If I catch you in a lie, doesn’t matter how small. I had an ex that would lie about really stupid shit, like what he had for breakfast. It’s not surprising that he was also lying about bigger, more serious things too.
Lots but I will say I test my partners. I’ve asked questions I already know the answer to and sadly some of them fail then double down when I ask an innocent “are you sure?” I am trying to give them an opportunity to come clean but they never do. It’s not the truth so much that bugs me, but their ability to lie so easily.
Inconsistency, having a tendency to lie to others ( if they lie to them, they’ll lie to you), not being transparent whether it’s about your feelings, what you’re doing, etc
When they won’t even let me touch their phone to change the song we’re listening to or look up something on the map. Im very straightforward and not the type of person who’ll be checking my partner’s phones, if they got something they need to hide that bad, I want nothing with them.
”I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be mad at me”
It’s an instant dump situation. They’re either a liar and a coward or a manipulator who knew I would make different choices if I had all the information and it wouldn’t benefit them. I loathe this type of person.
Projection. If you accuse me of lying, why? If you accuse me of cheating, why? I’m just sat at home watching old House reruns eating ice cream, where are you?
Lying/cheating/inconsistency (actions not lining up with words; not always putting in effort, etc.)/not telling me things that may affect our relationship (feelings, getting a job, etc.)/not spending time together (in-person, calls, texts, etc.)/ghosting/”I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you”/ignoring me (or otherwise not being there for me when I need it)/if my family, dog included, doesn’t like you or is otherwise suspicious of you
Source: I’ve had these things happen to me more than once, by “friends” and the only guy I dated (this was in high school), who cheated on me.
Not necessarily romantic relationships only, but I don’t trust a person who talks shit about others as a main source of conversation. Frustrated by a coworker? Sure, vent to me every now and then. But if it’s an almost daily occurrence that you have something negative to say about others, there’s a likelihood you’ll be talking about me behind my back at some point.
For romance, it extends to how a person talks about exes or other people’s romantic partners. I knew a guy I was starting to show interest in and he started telling me how fat his ex had gotten and also made fun of his friend’s girlfriend’s looks, and it was an instant turn off. I could never trust someone who felt that way about other women to respect me while we were dating.
Hurting me by crossing a boundary I’ve already established and cleared up prior (especially many times). You best believe this shit still happens, even when it can be a very simple thing. 🙂
A lie. No matter how small. And lack of transparency. (With respect to boundaries ofc) Trust is so hard to build. Once it’s been broken, it is RARE that I’ll even try to rebuild. I usually just walk away.
Constant defensiveness anytime I bring up something or try to discuss things.
Anything guilt trippy or manipulative feeling … “Sorry I’m not perfect.” “Sorry, guess I never do anything right!” Or things like “Fine, I’ll just never (blank) again” and it’s usually something ridiculous. Let’s say someone rolls their eyes, I might say I don’t appreciate that and they might be dramatic by saying “Fine, I’ll just never look at you again!” Grow up lol
Also people who gossip about others. Not in a venting this person hurt me way or asking advice, just your basic gossiping or sh-t talking, then they act fake & phony to those people. No doubt you’re out doing that to me …
People who never follow through on what they say they’ll do. That breaks trust for sure.
I’m not the type to snoop but if I am just near you, next to you or glance at you while you’re using your phone and it makes you upset, defensive or visibly uncomfortable – that’s something.
Lies. I cannot find anyone who doesn’t lie in the very beginning to deceive me to receive sex, money or other resources. Idk why people have to lie in order to get a gf.
Cheating.
Especially when you’re willing to try to do everything and anything, that you told them you won’t ever judge. But they decide to ask stranger on the internet instead.
Yes it’s odly specific but I had to write it somewhere.
Cheating.
Especially when you’re willing to try to do everything and anything, that you told them you won’t ever judge. But they decide to ask stranger on the internet instead.
Yes it’s odly specific but I had to write it somewhere.
Saying they’re always honest with me but then withhold information/make assumptions about how I would react to things… and inconsistency with communication/behavior. Like when we’re physically together I feel like I’m the only person in the world for him but then his online activity/lack of communication online says otherwise
Financial messiness and biting off more than you can chew.. if you’re constantly overestimating your ability to pull something off or have an “Ill cross that bridge when I get to it” attitude when it comes to money then I lose trust in your judgment.
if he does something that we initially agreed is cheating or betrayal. I used to stay, but that’s no longer something I can negotiate with. if that happens once, I’m out.
Oh boy….lots of things, but mainly cheating obviously lying to my face, hiding things from me, doing things behind my back, when I have to find out things on my own, if they willingly take a woman’s phone number. To name a few
Okay so everyone already said the obvious so I’m going to say something else:
When they try to pressure you to do something you really don’t want to do even if it’s really small. My ex used to pressure me to say certain curse words, I’d refuse and he would still continuously try to get me to say them. He didn’t care about my comfort, didn’t care about my morals, I couldn’t trust him to keep those aspects of my life safe.
Lying and hiding shit! Why do grown ass people have to lie? It’s ridiculous!!
If you need to hide it and or lie about it then you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Or you are in the wrong relationship.
Lying is disrespectful and childish.
Trust takes time to earn and can be broken in seconds.
Comments
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lies, insecurities, jealousy…
Ghosting…
Not being honest
If they don’t like my dog.
Lying
Inconsistencyyyyy
If my dog don’t like them. Lying. Playing stupid games.
If I catch you in a lie, doesn’t matter how small. I had an ex that would lie about really stupid shit, like what he had for breakfast. It’s not surprising that he was also lying about bigger, more serious things too.
If they say something one day that proves something else was a lie
Discovering they have a dating app
Not being there for me when I need them
Hiding ur phone, changing passcode, saying 1 thing then saying another
Lots but I will say I test my partners. I’ve asked questions I already know the answer to and sadly some of them fail then double down when I ask an innocent “are you sure?” I am trying to give them an opportunity to come clean but they never do. It’s not the truth so much that bugs me, but their ability to lie so easily.
Lying, honestly. Once I catch someone lying, even about small stuff, it’s hard to trust them again.
Lying.
Addiction. And trust doesn’t just magically reappear when an addict begins to work on getting clean/sober, either.
When he becomes closeted, stops communicating, especially about his feelings
Zero Ambition
Actions not matching words. No effort. Lack of consistency.
lying is the sibling of cheating
Unwillingness to communicate or understand.
LYING and name calling, won’t tolerate disrespect
Inconsistency, having a tendency to lie to others ( if they lie to them, they’ll lie to you), not being transparent whether it’s about your feelings, what you’re doing, etc
The normal.
Lying,
Promiscuous history,
Dating apps,
Addiction to social media,
Disrespect
When their actions don’t match their words
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When they won’t even let me touch their phone to change the song we’re listening to or look up something on the map. Im very straightforward and not the type of person who’ll be checking my partner’s phones, if they got something they need to hide that bad, I want nothing with them.
A gut feeling 😅
”I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be mad at me”
It’s an instant dump situation. They’re either a liar and a coward or a manipulator who knew I would make different choices if I had all the information and it wouldn’t benefit them. I loathe this type of person.
Projection. If you accuse me of lying, why? If you accuse me of cheating, why? I’m just sat at home watching old House reruns eating ice cream, where are you?
Lying and I don’t care how small the lie is either.
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Following other women on social media. Actions not matching words.
My ex-wife lied and stole money after I explicitly told her not to.
Lying/cheating/inconsistency (actions not lining up with words; not always putting in effort, etc.)/not telling me things that may affect our relationship (feelings, getting a job, etc.)/not spending time together (in-person, calls, texts, etc.)/ghosting/”I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you”/ignoring me (or otherwise not being there for me when I need it)/if my family, dog included, doesn’t like you or is otherwise suspicious of you
Source: I’ve had these things happen to me more than once, by “friends” and the only guy I dated (this was in high school), who cheated on me.
Anyways, I’m 4B now
lying abt little things… of u can lie abt something so small wjat else are you lying abt
Not necessarily romantic relationships only, but I don’t trust a person who talks shit about others as a main source of conversation. Frustrated by a coworker? Sure, vent to me every now and then. But if it’s an almost daily occurrence that you have something negative to say about others, there’s a likelihood you’ll be talking about me behind my back at some point.
For romance, it extends to how a person talks about exes or other people’s romantic partners. I knew a guy I was starting to show interest in and he started telling me how fat his ex had gotten and also made fun of his friend’s girlfriend’s looks, and it was an instant turn off. I could never trust someone who felt that way about other women to respect me while we were dating.
Hiding theyre phone from me. Going to the corners of the room to answer messages.
Disrespect. Which is usually misogyny
Any threats to the relationship during conflict, my trust is gone.
unchanged behavior
Hurting me by crossing a boundary I’ve already established and cleared up prior (especially many times). You best believe this shit still happens, even when it can be a very simple thing. 🙂
Lying most definitely
Hot and cold behaviour. Hiding our relationship from others
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A lie. No matter how small. And lack of transparency. (With respect to boundaries ofc) Trust is so hard to build. Once it’s been broken, it is RARE that I’ll even try to rebuild. I usually just walk away.
Lying
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Hanging up on me while I’m crying
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Lying or not telling me things. I am more upset about the lying and lack of communication than what the lies were for.
Lies, big or small.
Constant defensiveness anytime I bring up something or try to discuss things.
Anything guilt trippy or manipulative feeling … “Sorry I’m not perfect.” “Sorry, guess I never do anything right!” Or things like “Fine, I’ll just never (blank) again” and it’s usually something ridiculous. Let’s say someone rolls their eyes, I might say I don’t appreciate that and they might be dramatic by saying “Fine, I’ll just never look at you again!” Grow up lol
Also people who gossip about others. Not in a venting this person hurt me way or asking advice, just your basic gossiping or sh-t talking, then they act fake & phony to those people. No doubt you’re out doing that to me …
People who never follow through on what they say they’ll do. That breaks trust for sure.
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Lying or being shady or sketchy about your phone.
I’m not the type to snoop but if I am just near you, next to you or glance at you while you’re using your phone and it makes you upset, defensive or visibly uncomfortable – that’s something.
There’s privacy and then secrecy.
Lack of physical boundaries
Lying, not following through with their words
Cheating
When actions do not match the words that are said!
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Lies. I cannot find anyone who doesn’t lie in the very beginning to deceive me to receive sex, money or other resources. Idk why people have to lie in order to get a gf.
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Cheating.
Especially when you’re willing to try to do everything and anything, that you told them you won’t ever judge. But they decide to ask stranger on the internet instead.
Yes it’s odly specific but I had to write it somewhere.
Cheating.
Especially when you’re willing to try to do everything and anything, that you told them you won’t ever judge. But they decide to ask stranger on the internet instead.
Yes it’s odly specific but I had to write it somewhere.
Lying and lack of follow through/unreliability
Phones on “do not disturb’. If I note that someone has notifications off there is a 100% chance there are notifications they don’t want you to see.
Actions that demonstrate a lack of respect or disregard my feelings. A pattern of dishonesty or deception.
When they don’t defend me when I’m not around.
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Flirting/bragging to other women for validation.
Saying they’re always honest with me but then withhold information/make assumptions about how I would react to things… and inconsistency with communication/behavior. Like when we’re physically together I feel like I’m the only person in the world for him but then his online activity/lack of communication online says otherwise
If i catch you in a lie it’s over.
Late replies to my message and calls..
Lying and being sneaky.
I don’t believe their excuses because they know what they’re doing
Trying to avoid answering a direct question..
Lying about anything.. small, medium, or big.
Financial messiness and biting off more than you can chew.. if you’re constantly overestimating your ability to pull something off or have an “Ill cross that bridge when I get to it” attitude when it comes to money then I lose trust in your judgment.
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Flirtatious attention to another woman, lies.
20+ years married and I trust him with my life.
“It was just a joke”. I will never stay with someone that says that ever again.
if he does something that we initially agreed is cheating or betrayal. I used to stay, but that’s no longer something I can negotiate with. if that happens once, I’m out.
Dodgy phone behaviour. I dated one guy who would put it on aeroplane mode to avoid messages coming through when he was with me 😅 knob
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late replies
use of alcohol
Lack of empathy
Hiding your cellphone
Oh boy….lots of things, but mainly cheating obviously lying to my face, hiding things from me, doing things behind my back, when I have to find out things on my own, if they willingly take a woman’s phone number. To name a few
Lying.
Lying, even about the smallest things and as someone else said here inconsistency.
Okay so everyone already said the obvious so I’m going to say something else:
When they try to pressure you to do something you really don’t want to do even if it’s really small. My ex used to pressure me to say certain curse words, I’d refuse and he would still continuously try to get me to say them. He didn’t care about my comfort, didn’t care about my morals, I couldn’t trust him to keep those aspects of my life safe.
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Sudden unexplained changes in communication such as not communicating for a day/days, avoiding details or questions, and/or lying about stupid shit.
One of my ex’s did all of the above and I’m more or less certain that’s when he started cheating on me.
emotional invalidation – if i don’t feel safe to express my emotions it will break my trust
Lying and hiding shit! Why do grown ass people have to lie? It’s ridiculous!!
If you need to hide it and or lie about it then you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Or you are in the wrong relationship.
Lying is disrespectful and childish.
Trust takes time to earn and can be broken in seconds.