What’s a problem we have, sounds stupid to the world but not the us? Mine is; “debating” over what bread roll is called & what meal times are called
What is a British problem? But sounds stupid to the world but not to us
r/AskUK
What’s a problem we have, sounds stupid to the world but not the us? Mine is; “debating” over what bread roll is called & what meal times are called
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Jam or cream first on scones
Order of Jam and Cream on a scone
An Edinburgh classic. Salt & Vinegar or Salt & Sauce.
Is a Jaffa Cake a cake or a biscuit?
To be, or not to be.
diluting juice or squash
The exact order and specifics of our local tea ceremony.
Milk first or milk last? Do you leave the bag in till the end or do you take it out before adding milk and/or sugar? Pot or not? Should milk even be a part of the whole shebang? Is lemon acceptable instead of milk?
Who serves the tea? The host? Mother? The oldest lady present? The oldest person? whoever the fuck feels like it?
Most places where this kind of discussion is argued, with as much vehemence, importance and scholarly debate as we place on it, have had tea for more than a thousand years. Us on the other hand have had it for less than 400 and seem to think ours is the most important.
It’s like the americans refering to 1700 as “ancient times” where the rest of us look on thinking “oh you sweet summer child, my little home town has been here for 2000 years. You are barely a blink in the eye”.
Why aren’t my bins being collected?
The bread roll thing happens in Germany too, and in France there is a debate as to whether to call a pain au chocolat a chocolatine!
Daddy or chips?
Less than we think, I best most countries have a class system, regional dialects, regional food names, etiquette, food preparation stuff, specific types of racism etc
I think it’s a matter of having electrical sockets (and even light switches) actually in bathrooms. Somehow electricity in deadlier in Britain, or we are much more afraid of it.
Milk in your tea first or after
Potholes
[removed]
East or west Midlands, which is the best?
Obviously it’s west
Aside from cream or jam first…
Which is the “posh” pronunciation of scone?
Rhymes with “gone” or rhymes with “cone”? (Obviously rhymes with “cone” is the “posh” way).
Ooh ooh thought of another. Should cheese and onion crisps be in green or blue packets?
How fresh pasties stay hot as fuck for ever. Nightmare.
Breakfast, denner, and dinner
Do I need to put my shoes on to get the kids an ice cream from the ice cream van, or do I go out in my slippers? I’ve got 2 seconds to decide…
The UK has no national holiday. England has one but doesn’t celebrate it. Wales and Scotland celebrate but on their own time. Ireland’s is possibly one of their greatest cultural exports.
I can’t drive down a road without swerving pot holes, looking for speed cameras, speeding up, slowing down to 20 then 40 then 30 within a mile.
Scone or scone?
Our weather has adhd and bi polar
and the weather
Holding open the door for someone and they don’t say thank you. So you say out loud ‘thank you’.
Round Rich Tea biscuits or Rich Tea Fingers…
… which is preferred for dunking?
Fretting about shushing someone in the quiet coach.
Scone or scone.
The pronunciation of ‘scone’..
My argument is you don’t pronounce stone as “st’on” so why do some call it a “sc’on”
Worrying about the TV license people knocking the door if you haven’t bought a license for your telly. For the older people among us, also the fear of the TV detector van!
My town being a called a city. Tut tut.
I’m going to get hammered for this but I pour the milk in the cup, let the bag steep for a bit then add in hot water. I also leave the teabag in because I like a strong cuppa
Bread roll? I think you mean a batch mate
Your schizophrenic neighbour has locked himself out of his flat so he stays in yours for two hours whilst waiting for an ambulance as he becomes increasingly agitated.
Scone or scone, jam on top of cream or vice versa
Working around the 3 ‘o clock tea alarm.
Proper queue etiquette when there’s two queues in play, and you need to do use both.
I mean the world has been collectively clowning us (on Reddit) for banning ninja swords
The price inflation of Freddos
Running out of tea bags and sugar. And expecting company before you have time to get more.
Thoughs who don’t pronounce their T’s are uneducated.
How much battenburg cake to take in one slice
How you pronounce Vimto. Do you pronounce it Vimp-toe or Vim-toe.
When the tea warning sounds and I’m just not thirsty but have to drink anyway so I don’t get fined again.
Thinking it is wrong to heat water in the microwave to make tea.
People thinking that Lea & Perrins is a suitable substitute for Hendos.
Brummy bins
Chavs
Forgetting to turn the big light off
People who don’t live there pronounce it Bury but people from there pronounce it Bury. If people from there call it Bury shouldn’t it be Bury not Bury.
Does scone rhyme with groan or gone?
Having to call at 8am to get a (free) doctor’s appointment
Running out of tea bags, also having your biscuit half break off in your tea
If it’s worth getting the branded beans or not (I’m disappointed either way but also content)
Also, if I ever have enough jacket potatoes at home…answer is somehow always “No”
Long-term British problem, I suppose, would be wondering if I’ll ever know who keeps chucking shopping trollies in every body of water in my town. There was one in someone’s garden pond the other day, no water is safe. Not sure if that even happens in other countries but it’s just rather accepted here
Creme Eggs getting smaller
toby carverys being so far away from anywhere
When the tea alarm goes off and you haven’t prepared and so end up having to make polite conversation with the family that you join for your mandated cuppa.
Cheesy chips and gravy.
Deep Fried mars bar.
Carrying anything for the purpose of self defence is illegal.
The Hard & Soft water divide – the true North-South measure (well South, South East – North, North West). Directly related to how disgusted you are by tea scum.
Absolutely ridiculous taxes. Between tax and rent that’s literally 70% of your salary or more. How can you save for retirement without being rich lol?
Breakfast, makes sense. Break your fast or whatever. Lunch is clear, not yet met anyone claiming otherwise.
But why war about dinner? “Dinner Lady” time dinner, or “Dinner Party” type dinner, because they mean very, very, different kind of things. You’d think this would divide counties but no! “Closely after dinner” might as well mean “anytime”!
It’s not that hard with practice and understanding what it means. But what it takes to have that practice and understanding is slightly nuanced history of language in this fair Island in the last hundreds of years, so let’s just pretend it sounds stupid!
House of Lords
Ketchup or red sauce on your chips
I’m from the north, my partner is from the south and we do one of these at least once a day.
Showers happen once a week. Due to paying by the liter for water.
Tea went cold
Should adults catch sweets at the panto?
Scone as in cone or
Scone as in gone?
Local supermarkets don’t carry your preferred brand of teabags.
Well people called 999 when KFC ran out of chicken… So…. That?
The fury that people aren’t respecting the rules of queuing, and the impotence of doing nothing other than tut loudly about it
🚜 + 🐑 + 🛣️ = ⌚️ 😤
Scousers
Exposed cobbles and pothole ridden roads 😕
This has become more of a recent thing. Espscially with the younger generation using more American/Canadian terms due to Internet and streaming being widely available.
But for me is how the word Asian gets used. Most Brits born and raised before the 2000s use the words Asian exclusively for Brown people like Naseem Hamed the British Yemeni boxer (Yemen is West Asian) and Ali Jacko a British Bangladeshi kickboxer (Bangladesh is South Asian). For Far East Asians we use the O word but now we get told its offensive to use or that we are using the word Asian wrong (especially by Americans and Canadians or people influenced by their English). Whats funny is some claim it only the UK that does this and the rest of the world copies America. But some countries actually are similar to the UK like South Africa use Asian for Brown Asian but East Asians were Honourary Whites. Sweden uses Asian for all Asian but West Asians make up the majority of Asian in Sweden. Some African and Caribbean countries have significant Brown asian communities like Lebanese is West Afrixa or Indians in East African. So Asian will refer to them in these countries.
Whats funny is some British Far East Asians born and raised before the 2000s like Donnie Wong and Geoffrey Cheung still use the O word to refer to themselves (adn Far Eastern Asians) and those like Wong oppose the idea that its offensive or those like Cheung ignore people telling them to be offended by the word.
Also a racial slur (P-Word) that everyone outside the UK claims is not racist as its short for Pakistani but in reality it is just as bad as the N-Word here and people outside the UK ignore that or a baffled by it being offensive but saying the word here will cause the same reaction as saying the N word. Lets just say P-Word and its history with NF is the UK analogy to the KKK and lynching to put it into perspective.
Also trying to time Greggs right so you get a hot pasty and not one that’s been sat there ages
It’s a effing breadcake!!!
Shrewsbury or Shroesbury
A London one; dependent on weather; do I get the tube, bus or cycle?
One of my US friends almost went into shock that not only were there multiple public transit option but that none were car and 1 involved exertion.
I’m from Cornwall so definitely say cream first. Wait, is that right? Fuck I can never remember, just eat the bleddy thing.
Edit missing words
Why your kids want McDonald’s but everyone knows Burger King is better.
Witnessing a person microwaving their cold cup of tea.
The heathens.
Worrying if the 4mx4m strip of grass on your estate is going to be developed into 17 houses all needing access through a single track road.
Why the stress only one right answer, a soft roll slightly bigger than a burger , is a ( oven bottom) barm(cake) ; may be used in a chip barm or a supporting act for a burger or breakfast . You don’t use it for greenery nor ham ( read cold cuts) that for a crusty roll 😉
Meals. Breakfast , dinner , tea sorted
When your from London every thing that’s not London is up north , even places more south on the map is still up north
The biggest problem for facing British people would surely be running out of tea bags.
Shrewsbury is pronounced how it’s spelled, not “shrosebury”
The wars fought over ketchup being stored in the fridge or the cupboard
Tea
water and tea bag or milk and tea bag first.
The fact its a problem and so heavily debated is a problem in itself too.
Only animals add milk first.
Somedusefd my bum flannel in the shower
Ice lolly or lolly ice?
What you call the white bread thing.
Every town has their own name. They’re all wrong of course – it’s a barm cake and everything else is wrong.
I mean that sounds stupid to me too
Widespread confusion about what actually constitutes ‘Britain’, whether or not it is a country, and how it relates to similar concepts (Great Britain, the British Isles, the United Kingdom etc)
Don’t know what it’s like in other countries but security guards wearing stab vests in McDonald’s.
The tea time alarm going off when I’m in the middle of doing something 😑
Scone.Jam.Cream.Jam.Scone. You heathens.
People jumping onto Facebook groups to ask what the Police helicopter is doing, seemingly forgetting that it’s probably just doing Police stuff.
Is it a bread roll, cob, bap or barm cake? 🤷♀️
Not sure if it’s a specifically British thing…but the number of people who answer a perfectly direct question with multiple completely irrelevant answers before they get to a coherent one.
“How are you today?”
“Yeah, No, I’m fine thanks”.
I don’t want to use Amazon, but there are no shops (Bournemouth, Dorset, etc).
Illegal fox hunting (trail hunting)? Even if you’re not big into animal rights are you a bit offended by blood sports?
Cream first or jam first
Turnip vs Swede – which is which?