What is a red flag that made you end a relationship immediately?

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What is a red flag that made you end a relationship immediately?

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  1. djnastynipple Avatar

    Not matching the effort I’m putting in.

  2. _Gen_X Avatar

    Self absorption

  3. blndbomber Avatar

    Texting like crazy if I don’t respond right away

  4. Individual-Spot2700 Avatar

    Road rage.  But it was just a date.

  5. littlealixe Avatar

    He laughed while telling me how he used to “mess with” his ex just to see her cry. Immediate ick. No second chances after that.

  6. MaybePowerful5197 Avatar

    Wouldnt go home when I asked her to and would start a fight over it.

  7. bignehnehbigbeberd Avatar

    Self victimising themselves in every problem they caused.

  8. HeavyFriendship3563 Avatar

    She said, I must be the most pretty girl you’ve ever dated. Left her right there and then.

  9. Mike-720 Avatar

    I was the red flag

  10. Due-Cut3047 Avatar

    Bf of 2 weeks showed up outside of the cinema i went to with my best friend, in a different town and said ‘did you really think I wouldnt come?’ (Wasnt invited). Also if i said ill hangout thisarvo and wasnt there exactly on time he said ‘i dont like liars’ yeah nah

  11. Jane_Austen11 Avatar

    Not respect boundaries

  12. Yaguajay Avatar

    Herpes blisters that she said were “nothing to worry about.”

  13. Rough-History-707 Avatar

    Her storage unit full of doll heads and gray skin

  14. TalesFromTheCricket Avatar

    Jealousy especially over things like what I wore or when I’d do my makeup to go out. That relationship lasted a whole two weeks

  15. DotCottonCandy Avatar

    He went out and bought all of my favourite books and favourite films and started to consume them, and made liking what I liked his entire personality.

  16. No-Grade7745 Avatar

    Not taking my no for a no, it could even be me saying no to a particular event, talk to me and tell things but don’t try to guilt me or invalidate my no. Also I HATE when someone says I am being too girly when I am simply expressing my internal monologue or thoughts. STOP it and leave me.

  17. cornblink051 Avatar

    Cheating.

    I can’t be with someone who searches google for the best word in Words with Friends.

  18. Jimmy_Twotone Avatar

    I found out she tried to run over her ex because he was sleeping with another girl after they broke up. That’s also roughly the time I discovered first hand that women can be stalkers too.

  19. Living_Bath4500 Avatar

    He was texting his Mom on our date telling her how it was going. Then I realized she was not saved in his phone as “Mom” but “Mommy”.

    He also asked a lot about kids which at first was a little weird but we actually had a really nice conversation about it. It was nice to see where we both stood on it.

    Unfortunately I knew he was updating mommy on it.

  20. Glittering-Draw-6223 Avatar

    she kept asking reddit for advice on our relationship.

  21. KingProfessional8363 Avatar

    Watching him leave my house in handcuffs in a police car

  22. Strange_Bacon Avatar

    I never did this. I was dumb and naive. I thought red flags were opportunity to make things work.

  23. Kitchen_Bicycle4339 Avatar

    He said all his exes were ‘crazy’—every single one. That was enough for me.

  24. spirit_cat83 Avatar

    Turned the tv channel over whenever a good looking man came on the screen and said “you aren’t watching that”

  25. FDeity Avatar

    Them disappearing every time I take my meds .

  26. bonnyatlast Avatar

    Told his family and friends we were getting married like it was a done deal. Never mentioned it to me. Was a causal relationship from my perspective. Then he stalked me for years after….I had no idea. But he knew far more about my life than was imaginable even several years after we broke up.

  27. jertoe Avatar

    Tried to get me to join a pyramid scheme. (Edited to correct spelling)

  28. amk47 Avatar

    I was the red flag I guess. After we had been dating for a few weeks I let her know I used to be into drugs and did molly, lsd, coke and weed. But I let her know I haven’t done any of that in about 4 years. She took it well or so I thought until she texted me the next day due to my past she couldn’t be with me. She was worried I was secretly addicted or worried if her friends and family would ever find out.

  29. MainDifficult2641 Avatar

    He started yelling at me…. Yikes.

  30. babeidgaf Avatar

    once called him crying and he laughed at me.

  31. Possible_Relief6789 Avatar

    Not quite a ‘relationship’ but I when back to his house to use his phone (my mobile died and this was like 18 years ago) and he came out with a shirt off. Which was already kind of a red flag, but even more red was the fact he had a swastika tattoo.

  32. Krakyl Avatar

    We were at Carl’s Junior and she asked, “is the one three (1/3lb) or the one two (1/2lb) bigger?”

  33. Ok-Bus1716 Avatar

    Set a date with a girl. Said let’s meet at this restaurant at this time. She said cool. I’ll see you there at 7. I arrive at 7. Had a reservation. Sat down and waited. Time passed. No text. Messaged her saying hey are you on your way? Nothing. Sat there for another 25 minutes, texted again, waited for 10 and then asked for the check. Saw some friends at the bar, had a charger of bourbons. Girl shows up 2 hours later and asks if I’m ready for dinner. Was like ‘uh…’ *looks at watch* I texted you and hour and a half ago and never heard back. I’ve already moved on with my evening. No apology, nothing. Was like well we can reschedule for another day. Looked at my watch and said ‘sure, I’ll let you know when I’m free.’ Never reached out to set-up another date.

    tl;dr: people who don’t respect my time or communicate if they’re running terribly behind.

  34. Kutter20 Avatar

    She drank way too much alcohol. It was normal for her to have a few drinks also on weekdays.
    Casually being black out drunk almost every weekend too.
    Otherwise she was really nice, but I couldn’t handle that anymore.
    If I tried to encourage her to drink at least a bit less, she always called me „boring“ or said something like „it’s normal in my family, everyone drinks“.

  35. LavenderMothBreeze Avatar

    They laughed while telling a story about being cruel to someone “as a joke.” Instant nope.

  36. BabaTheBlackSheep Avatar

    He hit me, nope I don’t tolerate that! No second chances

  37. Longjumping-Bat7774 Avatar

    She WOULD NOT get out of the car until I walked around and opened her door for her. “Because my life is hard and I deserve it”. And when I say she would not I mean ever. If we were just hanging out and went to Walmart for ice cream or beer.. if we were going to the river to swim… I HAD to open her door everytime. It wasn’t opening her door that bothered me, though it was kinda weird, it was the quote.

  38. HereForMyTruck Avatar

    When they are too flirty with other people. You can tell when someone is trying to keep their options open. There are some people that are always looking for an opportunity to trade up.

  39. k1wyif Avatar

    His mom called during our first date and he put me on the phone and introduced me as his girlfriend. Then he mansplained The Phantom Menace to me.

  40. gemslittlebookshelf Avatar

    Manipulation then playing the victim. I wish I’d ended it earlier than I did. Nothing ever being enough.

  41. Spare-Requirement-17 Avatar

    He never drank alcohol, never thought anything about it.
    Drank alcohol in a group of new people, got fucking aggressive and beat the shit out of a guy and almost me.

    Next morning he said he didn’t remember a thing but over the next days he got angry cause the other people blocked him from everything and said he was dangerous.
    “It wasn’t even that bad, I just hit XY and…”.

    So, he remembered everything and somehow it was my fault. I was terrified and kicked him out of my life.

  42. Late_Solution4610 Avatar

    He told me his mother doesn’t let him shop for clothes on his own.
    He was 34 years old…

  43. ShyCloudFoxLilt Avatar

    They were rude to waitstaff for no reason

  44. relativeroadstealer Avatar

    All their exes are ‘crazy’ – but not them

  45. deedeeEightyThree Avatar

    She threw an object at me when she was angry…

  46. DoctahDanichi Avatar

    Angry drunks are an instant dump.

  47. eezypeezycheezy Avatar

    Chronically late for everything, like hours

  48. Unhappy-Common9879 Avatar

    Keeping the truth about sexual history with a close friend hidden. Them sweet talking and staying up together, her touching him intimately in front of me.

  49. GansettCan Avatar

    Interrupting me every other sentence

  50. Outrageous_Donut4527 Avatar

    She was rude to our waitress.

  51. mikegp70 Avatar

    Lying. Immediate turn off.

  52. Smooth_Nothing_4490 Avatar

    Being mean to animals. Out the door you go!!

  53. Mac2311 Avatar

    She berated a waitress for smiling at me. To be clear it wasn’t some seductive type smile. Just a smile a waitress gives everyone. Her insecurities showed through way too hard on that. I finished our meal. Gave the waitress a 100% tip for putting up with that, dropped her off at her apartment, she asked me if I wanted to come up, I told her I’m blocking her number and she should be embarrassed for how she acted.

  54. horrorqueen92 Avatar

    Yelling at me in public… I 32f confronted him 36m about something that was bothering me (I caught him in lies) and he started to raise his voice and swear at me in the shops.. I noped right out of that relationship. Makes me question what he would have been capable of doing to me behind closed doors. Was really scary.

  55. Outzwei Avatar

    Always seeking external validation. Everything was about what other people thought.

  56. TheDamnGirl Avatar

    For me, any attempt of manipulation or control results in an immediate termination on the spot.

  57. LongShotts Avatar

    Happy my dog died.

  58. Serious_Lee76 Avatar

    When he started to pressure me for sex because i said that i wasnt ready yet.

  59. Unhappy-Common9879 Avatar

    Calling me insecure when they are acting single.

  60. Unhappy-Common9879 Avatar

    Using my vulnerability against me.

  61. web_wanderer_pk Avatar

    I realized that I was the red flag and ended the relationship to work on myself.

  62. lebowskichill Avatar

    he just lied for the hell of it. i’d ask him what he had for lunch that day and he’d say pizza, and then i’d see a wrapper for a burger when i opened the trash can. figured if he could lie about meaningless stuff he could lie about much worse

  63. mysteriousglaze Avatar

    when the bare minimum seems A LOT for them, like all I’m asking for respect and honesty, how does that make me ungrateful 🙂

  64. Express-Risk-4129 Avatar

    I was doing the dishes, not even aware we were in a fight. Just standing there scrubbing a pot and I (almost in bullet time) saw a bottle of bleach sail thru my vision and explode against the wall right in front of me, then had a woman screaming at me. That was when I realized I wasn’t going thru this bullshit anymore. I grabbed a hand towel, dried my hands, walked over and picked up the dog (small dog) and walked out the door and walked to my parents house (a little over a mile)

  65. callawake Avatar

    You ever know everything about a person in 2 days and then realized they never even asked what you do for a living or any other thing about yourself?

  66. bigorangemachine Avatar

    No personal retention.

    I don’t expect you to remember everything about me but when I find myself repeating myself about my work or dog which is like the only 2 things I talk about everyday…. might be good to pay attention to one of those details.

  67. Daddys_Milk Avatar

    When I realized he did not believe anything I would say to him.

  68. ow3ntrillson Avatar

    I suspected that she had another man or boyfriend on the side and once that fact was confirmed, I ended things.

  69. Zestyclose_Classic91 Avatar

    Not all in one but three red flags:

    • Cheating
    • Talking about politics ALL the time
    • Critisizing you for everything and argueing about nonsense all the time
  70. PishPosh-01 Avatar

    Technically, I was in high school and breaking up with the guy when he threw the red flag. He realized I was ending things and he got MAD. Like, more mad than I had ever seen him. He made me promise that I’d attend his Prom with him. He was obsessed about not having a date for him Prom in May. We went to different schools and he didn’t want me to tell my friends that we broke up. I told him that I’m not going to do that. He came back with, “Well, I’m not going to tell my friends that we broke up.” I told him that he can tell his friends whatever wanted to.

    I broke up with him in January, we hadn’t even talked about Prom yet. I was so scared and freaked out by the conversation and how visible angry he got, I just told him I’d go with him so that I could leave. He wanted me to stay longer so that his parents didn’t realize we were breaking up. He was talking through tightly clenched teeth and I just wanted to get out of his house.

    I blocked him everywhere, but he ended up calling my house in early May. My dad took the call-it was great. I only heard my dad’s side of the conversation. “Who is this?” “Who?” “Didn’t she break up with you months ago?” “Prom?” “When was the last time the two of you even talked?” “January, you say. Look-she’s not going with you to Prom. She doesn’t want to see you. Lose our number, and if you call us again, I’ll be calling the police.”

    I never felt so vindicated ending a relationship.

  71. CharacterAwkward8755 Avatar

    They saw my boundaries as a dare contest

  72. Icy-Vehicle-9359 Avatar

    Repeated silent treatment.

  73. lunarmothtarot Avatar

    He yelled, cursed at me, and drove recklessly for an entire hour in the car while I was in the passenger seat so that I felt trapped under his control.

  74. nertynot Avatar

    Disrespecting my boundaries with PDA

  75. LHWJHW Avatar

    Validating cheating of her friendship circle.

    Victim mentality.

    Any sign she wants to partner for a lifestyle.

    Entitlement to things not earned.

  76. Kamblys Avatar

    Alcoholism. It came to ultimatum me vs drinking. You can guess what was her choice.

  77. Particular_Ninja9642 Avatar

    My ex had BPD npd never again.

  78. RedditUser-7849 Avatar

    Getting other women’s phone numbers. Period.

  79. RiaJams8 Avatar

    Asked for my phone password before they knew my middle name. That’s FBI behavior, not boyfriend behavior.

  80. RevealIntelligent737 Avatar

    The inability to get along with anyone in my universe …. family, friends, colleagues. Didn’t matter, it was me and her and no one else could be around.

  81. throwthisfar_faraway Avatar

    Saying something mean-spirited and then saying “it’s just a joke, come on”… nooooo thank you

  82. Main-Yogurtcloset-82 Avatar

    This is a sort of dumb story.

    In HS, there was a weird string of boys threatening suicide to get the attention of girls. It was obv that these were not real cries for help but to garner sympathy and/or manipulate girls into staying in a toxic relationship.

    I made a joke to my at the time bf that if he did that to me, I’d push him off the roof. (A guy had threatened to jump off the school roof when his gf wanted to break up. It was a whole thing).

    Anyway, skip to like 4 months later, and this man/boy becomes just the worst bf. Turns out he cheated on me and was trying to get me to break up with him (I guess). It’s a long, messy story, and we were teenagers, so everything was the end of the world. lol.

    We break up. A few months later, he regrets it, I think. I’m not really sure. I had already moved on and wanted nothing more than an apology from him.

    He calls me one night, high. So 10/10 for that. He started going on some rant about how I was the best thing in his life and how he ruined it. How his life is terrible now Yada Yada. He then drops the bomb of: “If you don’t forgive me, I guess I’m worthless, and I should just kill myself.”

    I just laughed at him and told him “well good luck with that,” and hung up. Never spoke to him again.

    And spoiler alert 10+ years later, he is still alive. Never attempted suicide.

    Also, side note before people lose their shit at me. If I thought for one second, this threat was real. I would have been all hands on deck. But I have been clinically depressed and have known people who are do depressed they have attempted suicide. They don’t call you at 2am high and tell you they will kill themselves if you don’t forgive them. In fact, there are hardly any signs at all. He was trying to manipulate me. He knew it, I knew it, the NSA listening in on call knew it.

  83. Vegetable_Figure_224 Avatar

    I’ve never ended anything immediately because I’m a fucking dumbass.

  84. FitRun4483 Avatar

    Penny pinching on everything we did together, concerned about every dollar spent on eating out then treating himself with the nicest things, experiences etc. I knew I wouldn’t want a husband like that.

  85. W0ndering_pineaple Avatar

    She adopted a cat and a few months later became tired of him and tried to send him back to the shelter.

    Since that a moment, I gained a cat and lost a bad person. One of the best things that ever happened to me. Many years after he is happy, loved and cared.

  86. StunningDarling Avatar

    When he screamed at the waitress because his steak was medium instead of medium rare. If he couldn’t handle a minor inconvenience without losing it I didn’t want to stick around to see what else would set him off.

  87. foolishdrunk211 Avatar

    I was the problem, I was self centered and emotionally immature. But it took a girl who refused to accept her own amount of blame and consistent gaslighting for me to realize I was looking into a mirror. I’ve gotten away from her and bettered myself, from what I hear she hasn’t changed.

  88. skibunny1010 Avatar

    Disrespecting consent. Had a guy think it was ok to stick a finger in my ass while in doggy, with no prior conversation about it.. and then wouldn’t stop until I yelled “stop” 3 times and started reaching my hand back to remove it myself. Traumatizing.

  89. Blombaby23 Avatar

    Threw a rock at a duck. An innocent duck swimming along in the pond peacefully. Just randomly picked up a rock and hit the duck. Never saw them again.

  90. Yorkie_Mom_2 Avatar

    After almost 20 years of marriage, I found in his underwear drawer (putting away laundry) a box of condoms with several missing. We never used condoms. He tried to tell me he’d had them since before we got married. I’d put his underwear away hundreds of times. We had moved twice. I had cleaned every room in that house multiple times. I did not see condoms until that day. That was the end of our marriage.

  91. Afraid_Ear_8256 Avatar

    Asking someone a question you already know the answer to and watching them lie to you with no indications they’re being dishonest.

  92. maskcalledc Avatar

    Every time I addressed something that bothered me he played the “I guess I’m just a horrible boyfriend then”

  93. FlirtySweetheart Avatar

    He kept bringing up his ex wife in EVERY conversation. First date? Ex wife. Movie night? Ex wife. Grocery shopping? Somehow still his ex wife. Fastest block button press of my life.

  94. Odd-Significance3063 Avatar

    When I discovered he had six felony charges pending against him, which he hadn’t told me about because it was “family business.” We had been married for four years.

  95. pink_clouds727 Avatar

    His male friend got sexually assaulted and robbed while solo traveling in a different country and he thought it was funny. I asked him if he’d have the same reaction if it happened to a woman and he said “it’s different”. All the love I had for him just vanished.

  96. jvnya Avatar

    Having to ask for the bare minimum

  97. Ok-Salt-26 Avatar

    He was too loud