I’m a girl dating a dude. I remembered my birthday and getting a thoughtful card with flowers. Girls love thoughtful cards, even if it’s only a couple of sentences. Long hugs. A random kiss peck. Holding hands even though you just argued a day ago and have been together for 5+ years.
Spontaneous trips works well.
Last nice thing I did for my bf, I bought a book that they really wanted and put it on their shelf without saying anything, they immediately noticed and were happy. Leave random notes. I’d write in (maybe the middle) of their notebook that they bring with them to and from the office nice, cute or loving or encouraging notes. Unprompted back rubs/massages/scratches.
I don’t recommend flowers to some people. I gave my current partner flowers, and he didn’t even bring them inside. They just died in his car on the dashboard lol (note to self: bf does not care about flowers like I do). I guess it depends who they are as a person and what they appreciate.
Drove me to work when my car battery died, then went back to my apartment, charged the battery enough to drive the car to a place to put in a new battery, then came back to pick me up from work.
Like five years after we broke up she sent me a message and asked how i was doing. Actually she does that from time to time. She bought a house and has a partner now but still checks up on me maybe once every few years, sometimes months. I don’t know what i did that made me stick that much, nothing behind it either that i can sniff out.
My partners have never really been that good so i appreciate it. Makes me believe there are still people like that out there.
When I met the man I married, I had a cat. It had been just me and her for close to a decade. she slept next to me on the bed, she even had her own pillow. The first time he slept over, I gave him a different pillow, and explained that the pillow on the bed was hers, and started to move it. He told me to leave it there. He slept a few feet lower down on the bed, with his feet hanging off the end of the bed so that my cat didn’t have to give up her spot on the bed. For the next six years he slept with his feet hanging off the end of the bed so that the cat could have her spot. To be fair, if he tried to sleep in her spot, she’d just sleep on his face.
I mentioned that I liked the chocolate half of some chocolate/strawberry cookies we used to buy. Next time I wanted to grab some, he had eaten all the strawberry halves and left the chocolate ones for me. I was convinced at that point that we were going to be together forever. I really was.
We are living too far away from each other like 300km away and a sea separates us but he got here for a week only for me. Idk if it is that big of a deal for someone but for me it is bc no one has ever done something like this for me.
I lived in a teeny tiny apartment under 400 square feet, so I didn’t have a lot of room for storage or anything. There was a broom closet and he built shelves inside it so that I could use it as a pantry and storage closet
It‘s sadly an exgirlfriend… I mentioned how I struggled with switches in my everyday structure and I had to go to a camp for a week. I was incredibly anxious. She got me an engraved anxiety ring and her hug when we saw each other, made me feel so incredibly grounded.
I’d been feeling really burnt out, I have 2 school age boys who are great but had been running me ragged with school, sports etc. I kind of lost my mind one night and I could tell they were all like “ohhhh shit, this serious”. The next day there was a handwritten list on the fridge made by my partner, a column with each boy’s name, and a list of “Ways to Help Mom” with examples the kids came up with.
I ugly cried at the gesture and they all thought I was even crazier lol. I told him just sensing I needed a hand without making a big ceremony of it (and getting the boys involved) meant a lot to me. And my youngest’s contribution to the list makes everybody laugh
My grandmother passed away recently, which was really hard for me as we were very close throughout my childhood. I saved some trivial/sentimental things, like her silverware (we have a ton) and potholders. It had been a year since we picked up the silverware from my parents house, and they were tied in a plastic bag. I asked my husband to unknot the bag since my hands were wet and we could refill our forks with her silverware. He carefully unknotted it and within the knot, somehow, was one of my grandma’s hairs. He has always been a detailed and meticulous person, but he immediately noticed it which was hard to do because it was silver-white and put it in a bag for me without hesitation.
He was paying enough attention to my grandma’s silverware to notice ONE of her hairs. I would have missed that. That man loves me.
My girlfriend wanted me to apply toner before bed and bought an expensive one. She was showing me how to use it by applying it on my face. And when she was doing it, she made sure to get all spots that the beard didn’t cover and to end it she also got the two weird spots below the lip where there is no beard.
I would not even think of getting that just because. That was just so sincere and sweet. It might not be much, but it’s brought a smile to my face whenever I have thought about it for weeks.
When my very elderly grandmother needed a breast biopsy for possible cancer, and was going to leave the hospital she was so terrified, she wouldn’t listen to any of the family members. My (now husband) bf somehow calmed her down and actually stayed with her and comforted her through the proceeding. (He was her favorite for ever after, when she died at 103, she wanted him to have the prime pall bearer spot.)
When we were first dating, I was going through chemo and just had a colon resection surgery. For three months, I had an ileostomy. It’s where they take your small intestine and turn it inside out to make a sphincter higher up in your digestive tract so the lower half can heal. As such, I wore an ostomy bag to collect the output.
My care team warned me that the bag would occasionally fill up with gas, so I needed to open the bag at the bottom to let the air out. If I didn’t, the pressure could pop the bag, leading to leaks.
We were asleep in my bed one night when my bag popped. I was so embarrassed! I woke him up, apologizing and saying I needed to change the sheets.
Instead of being grossed out or annoyed about being awake at 2 am, he helped me strip the bed. No squeamishness, no complaints, nothing. He just helped me and told me I didn’t need to apologize, as I was asleep when it happened.
I’ve been in remission since 2021, and he’s been there through it all. I can’t wait to get married to him 🥰
He’d already left for work, and he left a really sweet, cheesy love note and some chocolate for me to find when I woke up. He’s normally not cheesy like that at all and thinking that he did that just because he knew how much I’d like it makes me emotional 🥺
I’d only been out as non-binary for a year, year and a half, when I started seeing my boyfriend, and I’d been through a string of short relationships where my partners pretty much still saw me as a girl despite that. But my boyfriend, he doesn’t just “try”, he asked unprompted what terms I prefer, and when I thought I didn’t have a preference, he paid attention, picked up on what made me happy to be called, and stuck to that without me even noticing. It might seem small, but to someone who has issues establishing their identity it is everything. He is truly my greatest supporter.
Learned how I like to make my tea and makes it for me every morning now because I used to wait for him to finish making breakfast (I don’t eat right when I wake up) and didn’t want to get in his way in our small kitchen.
so i love to bake sweets, but never had a partner bake something for me! when i came over to my current partner’s house for the first time, in addition to dinner, he made me my favorite cookies and said it was fucked up that nobody had baked for me before! i’ve only been seeing him for a couple months but he’s baked other things for me since then 🥺
I’ve shared this story in another post, but it was the smallest, quietest thing he did that made me feel loved in a way I had never felt before.
We were on a weekend getaway together. He was driving us back from dinner. We were holding hands, his over mine, just chatting. As our car wound around the pacific coast, I opened up about a series of health issues I hadn’t previously told him about. Serious things. Things I felt shame about, fear about.
When I got to a particularly difficult part, I felt his grip tighten on my hand. He didn’t say a word. He just held harder, and didn’t let up until we parked the car. That one gesture brought tears to my eyes.
The next day, I mentioned to him how much that meant to me. He said “I didn’t even know I did that. I just heard you and felt like I needed to keep you as close as I could and make sure you never have to go through any of that stuff alone. Ever.”
Being loved is being seen and heard and cared about. It’s not the grand gestures. I don’t need gifts and flowers and parades. He held my hand tight and without a single word he healed a part of my soul.
I have a connective tissue disorder so I have to sleep on the couch in a nest of pillows and to support my limbs so they don’t slide out of place. Every night when I fall asleep he puts my drink back in the fridge, plugs my phone in and takes my glasses off my face so gently I don’t even stir.
When he was in Paris, he walked around in a video call to show me the sights as if I was there.
On days when I really struggle with executive functioning, he has groceries delivered to me.
When he was away for months, we called literally every day, I think we only missed 3 days.
He humors me by doing things he absolutely does not want to do, but he knows I would like, like swimming with me, and going to dance classes with me, and playing tennis with me.
He cooked me a steak and dinner that he didn’t even eat, he had already eaten what he wanted that night.
He gave me a credit card to use in case I run out of money. Im very poor, he is a little better off financially.
One time my BF and I were talking about our dream house. A few days later, I found a drawing of everything I described with the differents ways he could do it, measures and all. I kept the drawing, even though we moved two times since. It has a lot of meaning to me, I really felt like he cared about me and my dreams even though we only had been together for a few months at that time. We still don’t live in that house and probably never will, but I love that he remembered everything I said.
I used to have a beat up John Wayne lunchbox I kept knick knacks and junk in. It disappeared at some point. Several years later I was talking to her from states away and said “how am I gonna keep track of my whole life when I can’t even keep track of a lunchbox?”
About a week later the lunchbox showed up in the mail. Not an identical one, the exact same one.
Before we even started dating, he let me borrow his jacket when I looked cold, brought me rubber bands because he knew I liked to fidget with them, and (context: I fold cards in a very difficult and unique way, and I’d given one to him for his birthday) gave me a painted note folded in the exact way that I fold mine, which must’ve taken a lot to figure out. After, he bought me a book on Irish folklore because he knew I liked mythology and Ireland, brought me roses after I had a bad day, researched and took notes on nosebleed prevention (I have them chronically and wasn’t taking it seriously) to give to me, made me a beaded bracelet to match his, gave me one of his flannels, brought me little tiny flowers every day, bought me a necklace with the star chart of the day we got together engraved on it for Christmas, and so much more. Gifts are the love language I care about the least, but he’s always so thoughtful, and to this day, I love him so much. I hope I can do as much for him as he’s done for me, because he is truly an incredible boyfriend and person.
My boyfriend and I were together ~1 year at the time. one morning I was in so much pain from being constipated for 5 days. Without hesitation or being grossed out he went to the store to buy me laxatives and he stayed with me all day while I shit my brains out.
I knew he was the one at that moment I will never forget it
About 6 months into us dating, my very nerdy boyfriend, who loves everything about science and had always dreamt of one day going into space, made a music tape for me of our favourite songs – he did a little voice over at the end of how much he loved me and that he would give up the stars for me 🥺 We’ve now been together for 35 years (married for 27)
A bit ago my fiancee of almost 10 years (got together when we were 18 and are gonna get married this year!) grabbed my some ice cream from the freezer, she brought it in and I said “Oh yay it’s a little melted!” And she explained that she lets it melt a little while doing other stuff in the kitchen because she knows I prefer it like that and noticed I’d let it melt a bit before I started eating.
Just one of those things that really made me feel seen and cared for, I love her so much
I came back from a series of long flights with at most an hour between them so nearly 3 days of frantic travel sweat and no showers. She handed me a glass of brandy and led me to the bathroom set up with a steaming bath and full spa treatment with oils and candles. It was amazing.
Knowing that I have bad insomnia and a tendency to wake throughout the night, if my partner wakes before me he uses pillows to make a “pillow person” in his spot so that I don’t sense his absence and can continue to sleep.
It’s not just one thing, it’s all of them together. I mentioned my favorite energy drink on our second date and he had stocked them in the fridge at his place the very next day. I was having a terrible day and even though he really isn’t supposed to (tldr: our relationship is a conflict of interest for his job) he showed up at my apartment just to give me a hug. He opens doors for me, constantly picks up little baubles because he saw them and thought of me, never leaves me on read, and is always proud to brag about me to his friends and family. There’s so much more but the sum of it is: I have no doubt I my mind that this man loves me.
When I was dating my husband, I had to haul a horse cross country. The tires had dry rotted on my trailer and I didn’t know until I was on the road. I called him, freaking out, he met me on the highway and then arranged to have a service come put tires on it right then and there. And then he paid for it.
He did it in lots of little ways, all the time. A pretty big one was when I asked to be done trying to have kids. He had wanted 4, and I never even had a whisper of a pregnancy. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was crying and a tiny part of me thought he would leave me. He just held me, said “ok, I married you not the hypothetical children you could give me. We can stop.” It was like 1000 pounds came off my shoulders. I couldn’t believe it. I made him go to therapy with me once, just to make sure we were really ok. Like, I knew he loved me. But him just letting go of something he had always wanted like that was huge.
I mentioned to my boyfriend that when you wash blueberries, the sweet ones tend to sink and the more sour ones will stay afloat. My boyfriend proceeded to wash the blueberries in a bowl of water, collect all the sweet ones from the bottom and put them in a container for me to eat while he collected all the ones on top to eat himself.
My knee swelled up after a 12 hour shift. I work a physical job and have rheumatoid arthritis.
He spent an entire evening gently icing my knee with a frozen washcloth, giving me ibuprofen.
He was putting a biofreeze roller on my knee. I noticed he was rolling it over with his fingers, then lightly pressing it on my knee, with each application. I asked him why he was doing it like that instead of just rolling it on.
Despite being a broke college student, he bought me chocolates and a little gift for Valentine’s Day after I told him I’d never received anything from anyone before. We weren’t even dating yet at the time (I was done with dating for a while), but he wanted to make me feel special, and drop a big hint about his feelings lol. You could say it worked out pretty well considering we’re married now
I had a lizard for two years, and due to many circumstances I had to find him a new home. We were originally gonna go to a reptile expo and look around (which that in itself shows he cares for me because I love reptiles and he was willing to go just to watch me fawn over them) but the lady I rehomed my lizard to was also going to the same expo and we would do the pickup there. I was having such a hard time as we drove there yet he held my hand throughout the way and reassured me that I was doing the right thing, and comforted me when they drove away and I started balling my eyes out. He didn’t make me feel weird for feeling such emotions for a reptile he was scared of (he was a huge lizard), but he knows how much they mean to me and was there for me. I’ll never forget that
It was long ago, when I had some important exams to take, and I made a decision to limit social interaction with everyone including my partner at the time. With him, there were just emails and occasional messages. He mostly wrote because I didn’t have the time. He wrote to me everything about all his days and on the days of the exam, he would go to church and pray for me. I didn’t know about the church going and praying until much after. That act was so overwhelmingly loving I think, along with so many email “love notes”. I was part of his everyday even when I physically couldn’t be.
He waited for me. I was in a relationship when we met at work. He was in love with me the whole time and didn’t say a word. He listened to me plan my wedding with another man and kept his feelings to himself. When my relationship with the other person blew up, he listened to me complain and waited until I was completely over it before he said anything.
It may not seem like much, but to me it shows a huge amount of respect. My ex’s friends were trying to hook up with me while I was still with my ex, so the fact that my partner never inserted himself into the downfall of that relationship really made him stand out as a respectful person.
He does so many things all the time. The most recent example though: he gave me a cutting of a little cactus he loves so that I can grow my own. We are long distance but see each other about once a month. He said it would be special to each have a piece of the same plant. This also came a few weeks after I offhandedly mentioned how sad I am that my houseplants keep dying (I travel so much and the last person to look after them on one of my longer trips ended up drowning most of them because they didn’t follow instructions) and I wish I had more plants that didn’t need regular care. So this little cactus cutting is his way of 1) giving me a house plant than can withstand my frequent absences and 2) keeping us symbolically connected over the distance. I got the right soil today and repotted it. I sent him a picture and he was so excited It means a lot to me and I’m happy to have a piece of his home in mine!
He bought several boxes of Runts, took out all the strawberry and banana ones, and sealed it back up in an empty box. He knew they were my favorite and wanted me to have a full box.
When I first starting staying over at his house, he noticed that is squinted a lot whenever he turned on his bedroom overhead light/fan. I have migraines and am very sensitive to lights, sounds, textures, etc. so the next time I stayed over, I noticed that he’d Mcgyver’d a small dark lampshade over the bulb affixed a circle of cardboard underneath, muffling a decent amount of the harshness of the bright light. Just for me, so I’d be more comfortable in his room.
There have been many other things since, but that was the first that stands out.
My husband is incredible in unquantifiable ways, but one little thing that means a lot to me is he always leaves the remote to our ceiling fan on his pillow in the morning.
He usually gets up before me and we like to sleep cold, but he knows it’s hard for me to get up out of the warm blankets when the room is freezing. When I wake up and see the fan remote on the pillow, it means so much to me. It’s as if the first thing he did when he woke up is think of me.
Not sure how “insignificant” this is, but he allowed us to open our marriage up to select outside sexual encounters so we both felt sexually satisfied rather than us be sexually unbalanced.
When my husband and I were in the first five years or so of our relationship, we hit a rough patch and he did something that really upset and hurt me. It wasn’t intentional, more like thoughtless, but the impact was really hard to overlook. For the first time ever, I slept on the couch because I couldn’t stand to sleep next to him that night as angry and hurt as I was.
When I woke up the next morning, he was sitting upright, no blanket, curled up in a ball on the floor next to the couch, gripping my nightgown in his fist and fast asleep. The fact that he was so upset that he hurt me that he came in and slept that way was a wake up call that this man would never intentionally hurt me and would do anything to not have that happen again. And 15 yrs later, he hasn’t.
It was my 21st bday and a day before yesterday my stupid ass decided to do something new with my hair and i dyed it red which turned out to be bad not that great and i was really sad but i wasn’t showing it to anyone and i was just feeling very conscious, and i was trying to order the same color but it was not delivering on the same day and tmr was my bday party i felt very conscious about it and i tried my best to find it online he noticed that and he just got up he said lets go and we will find something, he took all over the city to find the correct shade of color that i wanted, even though we couldn’t find it but the way he did and stood up just because he knew i wont be able to enjoy by bday like i wanted to and just to make me feel better it was the most sweetest thing
It’s usually the tiniest things that hit the hardest. It’s not always the grand gestures or the big I love you gestures. For me, it was when my partner noticed I always forget to drink water. One day, she just handed me a glass without saying anything. Sounds so small but in that moment, it made me think that he’s actually paying attention.
So on my birthday , after already making my day special with loads of pampering and queen treatment, my husband said he got few more gifts and he was very excited about them. They were foot massager , heel pads , silicon gel cups , foot stretcher . I have severe heel pain and diagnosed with plantar fasciitis. So he deeply researched about plantar fasciitis and got these things for me. I was really emotional. Everyday since then he helps me use those things (i am too lazy ) which really reduced my pain significantly . I dont know what did i do to deserve this Man. This is just one of the million things he does for me everyday.
We were in a busy park and needed to step down a ledge to reach the road. I said “That’s a jump” and he just picked me up and lifted me safely on the ground beside him. Didn’t even bat an eye.
Around seven years ago I told him I wanted a copy of a book that I hadn’t been able to find anywhere. I looked and looked and never found it. Well five years after I told him he surprised me with it for Christmas. I had actually forgotten all about the book and hadn’t mentioned it in years. He remembered and it was so sweet that he listened and kept a mental note of it for years till he finally found it.
When I hit an energy limit I go floor time, and my partner’s never for a moment judged me or been embarrassed. At home I’ll curl up under my desk or a sunny patch, my partner bought me a doggy bed so I can be more comfortable. At family/friends houses I’ll have a lil nap behind someone’s couch or under a dinner table, in public I’ll see a tree or a big grass area or a bench and it’s like calling me for a nap.
I did this all through my childhood & teen years with family and while nobody stopped me I always got comments about being weird or antisocial. My partner & her wider family had one good giggle about it and then were like yep, that’s him, let him do his thing.
My then-girlfriend (now wife) was about to leave on a two-week vacation to Disney world. Before she left she surprised me with a stack of cards, in order, with instruction to open one each day. They were a bunch of sweet little love notes. Also she gave me a bag of hersheys kisses and a dozen avocados (she wasn’t sure if she should give a guy flowers so gave me a dozen avocados instead lol)
What she didn’t know was that every prior relationship I’d had had ended after an extended absence of some kind (vacation, sickness, etc), so there was definitely some fear there that she didn’t even know I had. I think this was one of the major moments that let me know how serious this was.
This actually was my parents. They were both working, and it was bitter cold. The battery in my mother’s car could get temperamental. So, every day at lunch, my father would drive over to where she worked and he would start her car and let it run 15 – 20 minutes. She only found out when she would find funny greeting cards on her front seat, signed The Phantom Car Starter Upper. The last day of the cold snap, the card was signed: The Phantom Car Starter Upper (PS – You may think you know who I am, but I bet you are wrong(.
When she died we found those cards among her keepsakes.
My wife tells me it was back in 2017 before we were engaged. She was flying back from a cruise with some friends that didn’t go so great so she was already worn out, then during their layover in Miami there was a bomb scare that really rattled her since she had to evacuate the airport, etc. She was supposed to be landing in CT around 10pm, and she was upset because she just wanted to go home, but it would be too late for her to make the 2.5 hour drive back to where we live in MA.
I was still at work when this happened so I called her brother and we planned to drive down that night to meet her at her friends house, get her car, and come home. We ended up getting there right as she got to her friends house from the airport, she said her goodbyes, and we drove the cars back to MA/got back around 1am. It was late but she got to sleep in her own bed that night, and she told me after we got married that was the moment she knew when I dropped everything to come get her because she needed to go home.
I was coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my Dad dying, and had spent the previous year dealing with his house full of garbage (4 hour drive each way most weekends ruining my life) plus a few other stressors. I was exhausted and my wife had to travel away for work so I wasn’t in the greatest headspace.
She had already left for her trip early that morning, so by the time I got out of bed I saw she had left me a card saying “Let the good times roll” and some chocolates and I burst into a flood of manly tears just from the thoughtfulness of it all.
One day I accidentally said that I hate it when the blanket slides down at night and leaves my legs exposed. The next day he came home with an extra blanket and jokingly called it a “leg protector.” It’s such a small thing, but I realized that he really listens to even the smallest details that are important to me.
I had to start an intensive outpatient program because my mental health has been really bad. I had to do the 9 am to 1:30 pm group because I don’t have a car and it had a shuttle service. Problem was, they’d pick me up around 7 am and drop me off around 3. It made me feel miserable to be on the shuttle that much and made it impossible for me to get anything out of group from how early I was waking up in top of other things I had to do with my life. My girlfriend decided I should switch my group time to a later time and has been driving me to and from groups for 2 weeks.
Shortly after I first met my now wife, I stayed over but ended up eating some bad food and vomiting. She sat beside me in the floor and said “what can I do?” She didn’t ask if she could do something or say I wish there was something I could do, she asked what she could do. The way she worded it made me feel like she truly cared and actually wanted to help me in any way to make me feel better. This is just one of many things.
(With some context..we have separate finances still until I get an idea of how much I put into bills. )
Today in fact, both my kids have insurance from me and their dad. I scheduled their eye appointments and only saw how much glasses are covered. I didn’t get paid until Friday (my bad on my part because I just paid off my car). So I asked my husband (kids’ stepdad) if he could send a Venmo for their glasses to get covered. The kids’ dad had to catch up on bills since he has a normal check coming next week so he was broke as well. My husband LOVES these kids and I’m doing whatever I can to pay stuff off and pay bills for the house. I will always appreciate his help.
Also when I’m not feeling well or if I need a nap durring the weekend.
Not with her anymore, but early on into seeing each other (like 3 weeks) I forgot my hydroflask at her place and we worked in the same office. I always like ice cold water even though I never said it out loud. She brought it into work filled with ice even though she didn’t drink it that way because she noticed I did. I think that was the moment I fell for her
He loves to eat pistachios. One night around the campfire, unprompted, he gave me a handful of already shucked pistachios, so I didn’t have to crack them myself. Every time we have pistachios he shucks them all and feeds me every other one.
Okay, this seems odd, but hear me out. My partner and I had only been together for ~3 months when I found out I was pregnant. Birth control failed me. But when I brought it up to him as an anxious ball of nerves, he casually asked what I wanted to do. I said what, he explained, it was my body, I had to do the work, and I had lost before and it was totally my call what to do. I said we keep it and he said okay, we will figure it out. 8 years later, an amazing 7 year old, and the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.
An ex boyfriend, but once I had been super stressed studying for a calculus exam in college. He went MIA that afternoon, and it had been long enough that I started to get worried so I checked his location. He stayed at this lake for hours and wasn’t answering any of my messages or calls. Things were a little rough in his life at that time so I started to get super worried and right as I was about to haul ass down there, he texted that he was on his way to me.
He showed up carrying a tackle box, walked in and said , “you’ll have to rename your other frog to Donkey, because this motherfucker deserves the name Shrek!” And released this gigantic bullfrog into my kitchen. My roommates were less than pleased but I was so happy. He spent hours creeping along the lake shore trying to catch me a big fucking frog. And don’t worry, we went and released him together!
I was home for a weekend and told him I was anxious to fly back to where we live. I got home, and he had bought me flowers, ice cream, watermelon, and soda.
I have endometriosis and was out of town visiting a friend. I texted him that I couldn’t sleep one night because of pelvic and back pain. When I got home, he’d bought me a portable heating pad, one I can wear like a belt rather than keep plugged in.
When we got together, he said he was “here to make my life easier” 😭
This was within the first year of our relationship and I had a 3 hour long therapy program in a town 45 minutes away, and he went with me, and played his Switch while waiting in the car (it was during winter so it was cold as heck). All because I was nervous and not wanting to go. We’ve been together now for 7 years, and I’ve put him through some tough shit with my mental health, last being multiple suicide attempt earlier this summer due to some issues with my medications and other things. He’s stuck by me every step of the way. And he shows no sign of giving up on me and I love him so incredibly much.
I had a really difficult year in 2024. I had burned out super hard, I was failing most of my classes, and I felt really isolated because it didnt seem like the friends Id made in college cared to reach out even when Id told them I was in a bad way. My partners long distance, and we were chatting one day while I was lying in bed. Id been really stressed and incredibly depressed, Id been crying the whole day and just didnt have the strength to get out of bed. They started asking me what my favourite restaurant was and what I liked to eat from there. It didnt click that they were ordering me food until they told me it was on the way, and I think I just cried more because I felt so cared about. Iirc, they even paid for dessert. I nearly cried again just thinking about it and how much they took care of me last year when I was at my lowest since high school. I dont think they’re on reddit as much as I am so I don’t think they’ll see this, but if you do, I love you so much. Thanks for everything <3
It was early on and we weren’t even officially dating yet when I mentioned to my (now husband) that I had always wanted to see dinosaur fossils in a museum and never had because we only have art museums in our area. The next day he asked if I was free because he bought tickets to the nearest dinosaur museum that was 4 hours away! I knew he was special at that moment, and after our first official date I knew we would be married someday. It’s only been 2 years of marriage but he constantly has these insignificant moments that show me his love.
The reassuring hand squeezes at times of self doubt, or when something crazy happens or navigating through grief. There’s just a certain nuance to this squeeze that is not like others. It makes me feel protected that he has my back. 💜
He put oil in my car and rotated my tires for me before a long road trip that I was taking by myself. I didn’t ask him to do this. Heck, I didn’t even think about doing this at all. He said he just did it because he loves me and he wants me to have a safe drive and would beat himself up if anything happened to me because he didn’t make sure my car was up to snuff. It really touched my heart 🥹.
I had a really bad day at work and didn’t even tell them, but when I got home they had run me a bath and made dinner. It was such a small but meaningful way of saying “I’ve got you.”
My partner programmed the lighting in our apartment to turn on in the morning when I get ready for work since I leave before them, so I’d never have to walk around a dark apartment.
When my dad passed away, my older siblings (all 3 are older by 10+ years) dropped the ball on coming together and helping clean up the pieces. His death was very unexpected so he had no afterlife care plans and it all ended up falling on me, like cleaning out his house, finding all the important documents, etc. and the icing on the big old shit flavored cake was that my dad lived 4 hours away in another state. My dear sweet boyfriend made not one, not two, but three separate trips with me in the dead of winter with 4 feet of snow on the ground to bring my dad and his things home. He never complained. He fabricated his trailer into a makeshift enclosed trailer so my dad’s things would be protected on the highway from the snow, salt, and water. Yeah he loved my dad too, of course, but making sure I didn’t have to worry about more than I already did in the ways he could meant the world. He knew he couldn’t take the grief and the hurt and the stress, but he knew he had broad enough shoulders to carry the physical load. No one has ever shown up for me in that big of a way, that’s the love of my life.
We’ve been together a decade. Only recently did I find out during car rides she has always been distracting me when she sees roadkill to make sure i never see it and get sad.
One night,after getting up from bed to use the restroom in the middle of the night , I suddenly felt extremely scared and didn’t dare to move . I just said,” I’m so scared.” My partner quickly out of the bed and rushed towards me , almost falling over the process .
I just cut my bangs and was feeling insecure about it so before his family dinner, I begged my boyfriend to stop at dollar tree so I could quickly grab a headband to hide them.
When we got into the car I went to grab the headband and saw a pack of ponytails with two clips. I asked him when and why he got them and he told me when I split off to look at something he grabbed them because he knew I was also losing my ponytails and thought that the clips might be useful / a quick way to hide them.
I just sat back and thought wow. He knows me more than I know myself. He thought of something I didn’t even think of- for the benefit of ME. It just really touched my heart to think I am so lucky to find someone so thoughtful and giving- filled with so much love.
BONUS: he regularly picks me up my favorite drinks, snacks, dinners etc and surprises me with them. Once he stopped at the gas station on his way home from work (he gets off 5 hours before I do) and surprised me with my favorite redbull that was out of stock by my work – two of them.
I found a melted Andes mint in the pocket of my jeans. I found it right before leaving to work and I showed it to him. When I came back from work he wasn’t home but I found my jeans by the kitchen sink. He scrubbed out the stain for me and didn’t tell me. 2) He cleaned my truck’s windshield and side mirrors before I started my 3 1/2 hour drive back home (we were long distance) and I noticed halfway through the drive.
When I first met my now husband, I was a train wreck. Binge drinking, drunk driving, having basically an unmedicated bpd fallout.
Within a month of us knowing each other I was finally in a bad enough place that I wanted to kill myself. I made an attempt in my bathroom, after politely telling him knowing him had been wonderful but I couldn’t keep going.
He lived an hour away. He called the cops on me and had me put in a 72 hour hold, came up to town to watch my precious dog. He quit his job after this and moved in (he was living with his dad) without asking, because my doctor’s said I needed someone to watch me.
This was within a month of knowing me, two weeks into talking. He learned so much about BPD and made sure I took my meds on time every day, and held me even when I was violent and angry.
Weve been together for five years. We now have a precious 3 year old, a cat, our dogs, and 8.5 acres of land for me to get lots of fresh air since it helps my bpd.
He is an angel of a man and I hope everyone finds someone like him
My wife makes me coffee and puts it on my nightstand every morning.
I spend half the month on the road for work and half at home off work. She’s a morning person and I’m most definitely not when I’m off work. So I get to sleep in and then when I wake up there’s coffee on the nightstand just for me. I can relax, sip coffee, and scroll whatever on my phone in bed in peaceful quiet bliss.
It’s not a huge thing but it’s so wonderful. And I appreciate it very much.
He asked for the entire kitchen to be remodeled so that it would be perfect for someone 5’3, which is my height. He had his mom stand up while the workers measured things around her and she would pretend to be cooking and talk about how comfortable the heights of things were.
I only found out about this many months after having moved in. 😭🥹🥰
When my husband and I were first dating my cat got very sick and needed to be admitted to the vet hospital for about a week. I was beside myself with worry and was so overwhelmed because I just didn’t know how I was going to pay for the vet bills. My husband had a vacation planned that he was extremely excited about, it was a specialty cruise with a lot of metal bands that were going to be onboard. He didn’t even hesitate when he said he can just cancel the trip and get a refund and I can use that money to pay the vet bills. I knew he was a keeper. We have been married for 14 years, the cat is currently 19 and loves to sleep on my husband’s legs.
My fiancé has been bringing me drinks like water and juice so I don’t have to get out of bed whenever I’m relaxing since I started dating him 2 years ago. He exclaims, “You have no drink!” And off to the kitchen he goes to pour one for me. So simple yet screams volumes about how much he loves me.
When I would wake up from period cramps at night, my boyfriend gets up and grabs me ibuprofen and water for me.
Last night I told him I was having cramps as we going into bed. Usually his hands are super warm so he will be my heating pad as I go to sleep. Obviously over the night we change positions. But I woke up in the middle of the night from him stirring and he turned over put his hand back over my lower belly in his sleep. He says he doesn’t remember lol!
Earlier this year, I told my fiancé I was a little nervous about getting married, sorta joking sorta not. We had been dating for two years, but I didn’t think we had had any major “tests” to the relationship. We had been smooth sailing from the very beginning.
In March, my mother died quite suddenly from liver failure. I had flown across the country to see her and when the docs told us there wasn’t anything to be done, I sent him a text and he was on a plane within six hours.
He got to the hospital, we turned off the dialysis for my mom, transferred her to hospice, and went home to get some sleep. I was a wreck and hadn’t slept in about three days. As we were crawling into bed, he unzipped his suitcase to reveal he had brought a blanket from our bed. My cat sleeps on it every night and it smelled like her.
Just that little reminder of home and peace confirmed everything I already knew about him, that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I have ADHD. As most women, I only got diagnosed til my 30s, after spending a few years battling depression and all my life dealing with others’ and my own frustrations about being “so smart so how is it you can’t just pay attention and stop being/making a mess”.
We were just starting out and it was at the end of me staying with him for the first time for a couple of days. In that time I’d learned this man was a neat freak: organized, structured and liked things neat. I was terrified of messing things up in his apartment. I had already accidentally broke a glass and without any reaction he looked at it, went to get the broom, cleaned the mess up and as I was mortified and profusely apologizing he just said “it’s okay. Nothing happened. Just step back, I don’t want you hurting yourself”, then he held my hand and we went to bed.
The next day we were talking on the couch as I was holding a cup of coffee and talking very enthusiastically with my hands, the coffee kept swinging just barely inside the cup. I saw him looking at it and at me nervously, I thought he was gonna yell at me to stop doing that. He didn’t. He waited for me to take a pause and in the most calming kindest voice held both of my hands and said “is it okay with you if I hold this for you or put it on the side table? And I’ll hand it over whenever you want to drink. That way we don’t risk losing a cup cause we only have two”.
My husband had a bone marrow biopsy and aspiration done while feeling ill unrelated to the hematological reason that test was ordered. If you have no idea, that is a painful AF procedure even after his doctor gave him a strong Vicodin to take an hour ahead of time. He still wanted to do the dishes for me after dinner that night.
I’d been having car trouble and went to a mechanic nearby that swindled me, charged me over $500 and it only took about a quarter mile drive for me to realize the issue hadn’t been fixed. I drove back to the shop and the guys inside gave me the run around, wouldn’t give me a refund. I called my boyfriend from there and ended up frustrated-crying to him over the phone, I’d felt so stupid and taken advantage of. He talked me off a ledge and stayed on the phone with me until I got home safe. The next morning, my boyfriend came over, drove me to the mechanic shop in his car, stood up for me, had enough car knowledge to call out their BS, and got me my money back. He was very riled up about how a woman can’t even go to a mechanic without worrying about being swindled, and he doesn’t get mad very often at all. He didn’t think anything of it, just kept saying it was the right thing to do. He was my hero that day (and has continued to be since) damn I love that man 😍
Not me or my partner, but my cousin’s husband texted me for the first time ever (they have been married for 15+ years) to let me know that my cousin was having an operation and wanted to get as many family and friends to send get well cards as possible because he knew she would appreciate that. I have always liked him.
He remembered my coffee order. When my fiance and I first started dating, we were on the phone one day when I went through the Starbucks drive-through. A week later he showed up to our date with my exact coffee order. He knows my order places, knows what snacks I like. He will get me a little treat if he stops at the gas station on his way home (he gets the kids treats also). This is huge to me because my ex husband and I were together for 14 years, married 12, and he couldn’t even order me coffee or remember what snacks I liked. It isn’t even a hard coffee order. An iced sugar free vanilla latte with oat milk (or the pumpkin cream cold brew when it is out).
When her father passed away she was traumatized by hospitals. She wouldn’t even go near one. One day I had to go and I figured she couldn’t go with me so I was alone. I was honestly half dead waiting on the chair and I feel someone touch me. It was her and she hugged me while crying because she remembered her dad. That day I realized that even in the most painful moments of her life she still chose to be with me.
We both hate the end pieces on the bread. Yesterday, there were two middle slices and two end pieces left in the bag. I went to a make a sandwich today and it was just the two middle slices.
My bf had gotten me a mug with a little hedgehog on it and it was my favorite cup. One day when I went to put it away I dropped it and it shattered. I was so sad because the company that made it was no longer in business. That year for Christmas he got me a new mug with the same little hedgehog. He had found out who the artist of the hedgehog was and asked them to make me a new cup. I cried and still get emotional every time I use it.
When we first started dating I got quite sick and ended up in hospital. He was away that weekend and when he got back he drove an hour and a half round trip just to make sure I ate dinner and took my meds 😭
My partner has a flexible, work from home schedule where he can be up when he wants (for the most part) and I have to be up at about 4:30/5am for work. He’ll come over to stay the night just so he can wake up before me, make me a cup of coffee, bring it to me in bed to wake me up, see me off and then go back to sleep. He does this regularly, without big ceremony, and it makes me feel like the most loved, cared for human in the world.
Another one is that he was not raised with dogs and isn’t used to them in the house but has made a big effort to include my dog who is absolutely my best friend and fur child. One day, we were leaving my pup at his house alone for the first time, and I came out of the bathroom to see that he had set up a fan in front of a dog bed for my doggo AND turned on a “soothing music for dogs” channel so that he wouldn’t be anxious in a new place when we left. 😭 love him.
This is really simple but I will never forget it. İ can provide more details but I had a thing for bottled water at the time. Not from the tap.
It was the early morning of 9/11/01 and I was running late for work. At the time I lived in a 4 story walk up on the upper west side. My boyfriend would leave around 7am and this particular Tuesday he knew I was running behind for work and went to the bodega on the corner and picked up a giant bottle of Evian. And a small breakfast sandwich
Normally, I would have picked up this on my way to work and I would leave 30 min earlier to get them.
Anyway – He sprinted like nobodies business down and then up that walk up 4 stories and down again to get to work on time. Came back in and surprised me with the water. I saw the sweat on his brow but he acted nonchalantly about it and I gave him a kiss.
This effort delayed me from rushing to go to work earlier than I would.
One night I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night to find that my partner had put a blanket over me and left a glass of water on the table. It was such a small thing, but it made me realize how much they pay attention and care about my comfort.
My boyfriend and I found each other late in life – we’re 51 and 53. We spend lots of time outside – concerts, farmer’s markets, festivals, sporting events. We’re usually holding hands. When the crowd gets to be too much, he grabs my arm, draws me to his back, and guides me through the crowd. I have no idea why this makes me so happy. I don’t even have to tell him I’m feeling anxious, he just knows and helps me enjoy our time together. I love him.
Not “for me” exactly but how caring he is as a person. It was the exact moment I knew I was in love with him. My cat has chronic sinus issues and often has boogers and a crusty nose. One day I’m in my kitchen and I turn around to find my boyfriend gently wiping my cats’ nose and giving him a kiss. He didn’t know I had turned around. Just genuine moment of him lovingly caring for my cat. It told me everything I needed to know about who he was and how he much he cared.
My boyfriend has done a lot of small things with big impact. First few that come to mind:
genuinely takes interest and remembers things I say.
talked to me for 5-6 hours when I had to stay awake overnight for a flight home from Greece. I felt unsafe sleeping in the airport and he was kind enough to keep me awake and chit chat.
stayed the night at my apartment during the week multiple times when I was feeling unwell, when my car was being fixed, and when I really needed him emotionally. He lives and works over an hour away from me and insisted that he comes to take care of me and keep me company.
Many more things. I love this guy with my whole heart.
After we ate dinner he asked me if I needed some tums, it sounds weird but he noticed that eating whatever we had usually gives me heartburn. I almost cried because I’d never felt seen like that in a relationship before.
Not my partner but my parents’ relationship. Growing up, life was hard, money was tight. Nothing was ever easy and my mom was struggling with way more mental issues than she knew at the time.
One day I’m out grocery shopping with my mom, and a white truck pulls up next to us at the stop light. The window rolls down, and I hear a familiar voice— it’s my dad!
Dad had recognized Mom’s car and he decided to flirt with her at the traffic light, making her feel loved and desired and appreciated. He couldn’t afford a lot of things but he still went out of his way to show my mother what she meant to him.
I dropped and lost my makeup bag with all my favorite brushes in it and was sad about it. My hubby got into our Amazon history and found all the makeup stuff I’d bought in the past and reordered it for me.
We were in our early twenties and I got pregnant. We were both in a place where we were not ready and I was an upcoming preschool teacher who just got her first full-time position. I decided to get a procedure and he fully supported me. Days leading up to it, he took care of me. He washed my hair after I vomited. He would drive wherever to try and get me food because I couldn’t stomach anything. On the day of the procedure, he went with me. When we were sitting in the waiting room, I realized that I was the only girl there who had a second person for support. When the time came, I was so nervous and scared, he begged the doctors if he could come with me because I didn’t want him leaving my side. I remember gripping his hand while getting numbed and I dont know what I looked like but he started tearing up and held my hands tight. After all that was over, he literally carried me to the car and we went to his place to rest for the night (my parents had no idea). The next day, I had breakfast, warm blankets, and cuddles from him. It made me love him even more. And it definitely made our relationship stronger. It’s going to be 13 years this summer, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My partner and I have pretty different work/study schedules, which usually means I’m asleep when they have to leave for work in the morning. Despite the fact that I’m asleep, it is still incredibly important to them to cuddle me and give me kisses on the forehead in the morning before they leave.
Maybe an odd way to word it, but the fact that I know they’re doing it purely for them (in those moments) makes me feel very loved. They want to be loving and affectionate even if I’m not concious for it. They just want to give me love.
I introduced him to my grandma. We had tea and biscuits. Not only did he do the dishes, he cleaned out the filter at the bottom of the sink. For me it was the difference between being outwardly helpful (rinse a cup) and actually helping
He loves to cook, I have textural issues with food. I don’t eat a lot of meat because of that, especially steak. When he would fix steak for dinner, he would cut the fat off of mine. I never asked him to, he just started doing it one day. It made me feel so seen and loved, especially since it’s something I’ve gotten so much flack over. “That’s where all the flavor is!” “You’re ruining it!” But he never gave me shit for it. He understood it, he saw me cut the fat off every time I was served steak and just decided to take it upon himself to do it for me.
We’ve been married 13 years after starting long distance. In her culture mental health isn’t really discussed, it’s more of a “keep it to yourself” or dismissed type attitude.
She made huge efforts to learn and understand my ADHD and bipolar type 2 disorders. She can usually tell when I’m about to enter a manic and depressive episode. My career requires me to do state licensing and attend classes yearly. I’m terrible at studying due to my ADHD. She then spent days researching and came up with a strategy to help me study and pass. She has a degree and was near the top of her class. I was a dropout
I ended up not only passing but finishing both licenses over 90% passing.
I honestly feel like she does more for me then I do for her. She doesn’t even care if I zone out and play games all day. I do it a lot less as I LOVE spending time with my wife but we’re both introverts who have no problem just chilling next to each other without saying anything. I’d be so screwed without her.
Doing the dishes. I have to do them all the time, and once I said I fuckimg hate doing it all the time and the next day when I came home they were done. It made me so unbelievably happy. I
He has been married to me during one of the hardest years of my life (and we’ve only been married a year!) and every morning, if he senses I’m awake and just lolling, he scoops me up and tucks my head under his chin in a cuddle.
I also like compression for sensory needs to relax, especially on my head, so at night he’ll get me in the same cuddle position and gently press on my head to get me into a relaxed state for sleep. I don’t deserve him.
He stood in the pouring rain yesterday waiting for me to come out of the office so he could sit in the passenger seat next to me as I drove home. He’s been doing this pick-up and drop-off at work thing for the last two weeks because I just recently got my license and the parking garage is terrifying and really tight. He’ll sit next to me as I drive to work, then go home.
Two days ago I tried to do it alone while he was on the phone, talking to me to reassure me. Suddenly he heard me start to panic because I had turned in too quickly to go down the ramp & couldn’t back up because there was a huge line of expensive (managers & ceos!) cars behind me. I kept panicking and scraped the side of the car. Thankfully someone came out to help me, but when I asked my boyfriend if he could come he said he’s already halfway there.
The second time I met my ex, we weren’t even dating yet, he invited me to dinner with best friends that are like family to him, and as it was soon after their wedding anniversary, he bought them a bouquet of flowers which he carried in a bag—and then when he gave them the flowers he pulled out another bouquet just for, with not just my favourite colour scheme, but with a portrait he drew of me with the day we met written on the back.
He also remembered that I’m lactose intolerant and asked if cheese would be fine in our dinner, I had a runny nose due to allergies and he worried about me getting a cold, the entire weekend he proceeded to drive me around and show me around in his town even though he hates driving, sang for me when I said that I like his singing voice, and generally constantly checked in with me whether I felt good and comfortable.
Sadly we had to break up due to becoming long-distance but damn if he didn’t set the bar extremely high from the very beginning.
When I was laid up and off work with a broken leg, the first week I was at home and off work, he came over every day after work and made or brought food for me and my kids. The second week, my kids were at their dads so he moved me and my dog into his house to take care of me.
This thread is so pure, and I too am incredibly grateful to have a partner who provides me with dozens to hundreds of examples of gestures like this. He is my world.
When we started dating, my birthday landed on a local pride event. We’re both a part of the community in different ways, and he knew I hadn’t been brave enough to go to a larger big city pride post covid era, so he dedicated the day to us going to the event… but not before presenting me with rainbow-cupcakes. I dont mean like rainbow frosting or sprinkles, I mean this man separated out 7 different colors of batter and found a way to make them like an edible rainbow version of the earths-core model from science class as a kid, and topped them with chocolate frosting (my favorite, i hate vanilla frosting and always have). at this point in the plot, we had not yet said i love you. his dad doxxed him though; i said the cupcakes were really good and he said “yeah, thats what it is to be loved. He definitely loves you. He was hunched over those bowls for a while” lmfao. I was a stammering blushing mess at the time. We had not yet said it but very clearly both felt it 😭
Later on in our relationship, less than a year in i think, he heard some details of my abusive home situation and was like “well, just move in with me instead.” No logistics or hemming and hawing, just open kindness. We did move in together, and after hearing about how safe christmas lights/dim lighting makes me feel due to one of very few safe environments i was able to be in a kid, while i was at work one day he painstakingly hung christmas lights all over his apartment. I came home and fully cried—i hadnt asked, i just felt so warm and safe. motherfucker did this AGAIN when we moved into an apartment of our own together. part 2 was only in our living room bc of some wonky outlets, but do not fret dear reader, I sobbed again so uncontrollably i was worried our neighbors would call to do a wellness check.
He is not my keeper, but I am open about my disabilities/disabling conditions (ptsd, chronic back and hip pain, dizziness when bending or stretching etc) so as to not blindside him with issues i
Couldve foreseen. He has helped me accept that working with my disabilities, rather than against them, is okay and valid and GOOD to do. Encouraged, even.
If I’m deep cleaning and my back is about to give, i tell him and he helps me lie down, gets me my ibuprofen and my favorite flavor of seltzer. He plays with my hair and kisses my forehead, because i mentioned once that forehead kisses always felt the most pure/best to me, since there was never an expectation attached sexually or otherwise. He does not complain that I have stopped mid-job, and he does not rush to complete it unless i explicitly ask—he knows my autonomy in completing the task when i feel better means a lot to me. If my ptsd is hitting bad, he gets the sensory things i need (namely ice packs, headphones, and thinking putty) and sits with me until I’m back.
He pauses tv shows 2-2.5 forty minute episodes in because he knows i probably have to pee, but i will often try to hold it through to the end so he doesnt have to wait for me.
Two weeks ago, i was having a lot of anxiety at once. I dont even remember the trigger now, but earlier in the day id mentioned missing oatmilk, since i hadnt had it since college. We’re in a spot where we could buy it now, and he knows i traditionally love chocolate milk, so when I’d calmed down enough to be left to my own devices without losing my gorilla grip on reality, he went to “run errands,” picking me up 2 cartons of chocolate oat milk, pouring each of us a glass.
He has worked, both with me and more sneakily, to find meatless/low-grease/low-fat recipes that my body can handle due to gallbladder issues. As my list of safe foods narrows, he takes extra care patting down greasier items to keep them as safe as possible before i can get proper care. He is the first person other than my mother who has held my hair while i puked (gall bladder makes this happen often, though he has only been able to get anywhere near me for it recently due to my own worries). He knows i hate my nose for its size, and whenever i ask him what he finds attractive about me, it is within the first 3 things he mentions (usually it is the first) as a hot/cute feature that he loves feeling when our faces are pressed together to kiss, or to see when we’re sitting beside each other and he glances over at my face profile. He embraces every creative idea i have with a yes-and, no matter the wackiness. Our entire apartment has silly paintings I’ve made hanging on the walls, and he hung them with pride, command strips, and so much love.
He’s currently sewing me some medieval, poofy jester shorts because despite his fear of clowns, he knows I love silly clowning for the bit, and the jester middleground is manageable for both of us to feel good. Whenever he goes on a grocery run without me, he tends to pick up whatever I’ve been into lately without making a big deal of it so i don’t get in my own head about it in an ED-way. I’ve been into iced tea? He gets my favorite brand. Soda? The flavors I’ve been taking to work get replaced in double. Particular chip/cookie/cereal cravings? We have them in stock, as well as a few airfryer safe freezer comfort foods like bagel bites for the toughest days. I grew up with a lot of food scarcity and fatshaming, so making sure i always have something that is not spoiled, is safe for my body, and is a texture/flavor/cuisine I am more inclined to eat particular is far more impactful than it would seem to the average bear.
Any reassurance I open up asking for is granted; if my concern is actually rational, the issue is discussed so that i dont live in bad-vibe limbo, and we sort through any issues with kindness, us against the problem.
He holds me through every nightmare, he leaves me little love notes, especially when he knows a given day is going to be challenging for me. He makes me feel strong when I feel anything but; he uses his voice to elevate mine when we are in male-dominated spaces. He corrects his parents on my pronouns, and supports me when my homophobic family is being shit.
I grew up rough. I didnt think I’d live this long, and i sure as hell didn’t want to. I’ve got to say, I have never been so grateful and do happy to be proven wrong, day in and day out, indefinitely.
He is my world. There are things i do for him as well, his acts of service and support/affection are not a one-way street, but i have never been so safe and loved before, even as a toddler. I would not change a thing, and I am so incredibly grateful for everything our life has become, and every aspect of who he is. I am the luckiest person on the planet, and i choke up during phoebe bridgers “graceland, too” when she gets to the line “she knows she lived through it, to get to this moment” because holy fuck, i truly did.
I feel like I had never breathed before he entered my sphere. I hadn’t even known I was drowning, surviving and never living, until I came to know the support, love, and freedom our connection has brought me.
I needed to have oral surgery, the date was set in January. The date of the appointment, we drove about 76 miles to the surgeon who would do it in the beginnings of a major snow storm. I was so out of it and he didn’t want to worry about me and drive, he paid for a hotel room and stayed right next to me the whole time we were there after the surgery.
We were very, very poor at the time, money was really tight. He never, ever said a negative word about spending that money. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but this made me realize he was absolutely the one. He was a seriously good man, still with him for over 22 years.
Past 12 AM on my birthday back in 2023 (we were together 13 years back then), in bed, my sleeping husband turned to me, kissed my forehead then said, “Happy birthday. You are my world.” Didn’t even open his eyes. Went back to sleep immediately.
My husband offered to make me a banana cream pie from scratch for my birthday – I’m the only one in my family that likes this flavor so it never gets picked when choosing desserts for holidays and etc ❤️
I’m pregnant and exhausted right now. I have the day off and he brought me coffee in bed, then the breakfasted, sleepy-snuggly cat, moved my hair out of my eyes and tucked me in better.
All these little things that are so sweet and precious.
Comments
I’m a girl dating a dude. I remembered my birthday and getting a thoughtful card with flowers. Girls love thoughtful cards, even if it’s only a couple of sentences. Long hugs. A random kiss peck. Holding hands even though you just argued a day ago and have been together for 5+ years.
Spontaneous trips works well.
Last nice thing I did for my bf, I bought a book that they really wanted and put it on their shelf without saying anything, they immediately noticed and were happy. Leave random notes. I’d write in (maybe the middle) of their notebook that they bring with them to and from the office nice, cute or loving or encouraging notes. Unprompted back rubs/massages/scratches.
I don’t recommend flowers to some people. I gave my current partner flowers, and he didn’t even bring them inside. They just died in his car on the dashboard lol (note to self: bf does not care about flowers like I do). I guess it depends who they are as a person and what they appreciate.
Drove me to work when my car battery died, then went back to my apartment, charged the battery enough to drive the car to a place to put in a new battery, then came back to pick me up from work.
Like five years after we broke up she sent me a message and asked how i was doing. Actually she does that from time to time. She bought a house and has a partner now but still checks up on me maybe once every few years, sometimes months. I don’t know what i did that made me stick that much, nothing behind it either that i can sniff out.
My partners have never really been that good so i appreciate it. Makes me believe there are still people like that out there.
When I met the man I married, I had a cat. It had been just me and her for close to a decade. she slept next to me on the bed, she even had her own pillow. The first time he slept over, I gave him a different pillow, and explained that the pillow on the bed was hers, and started to move it. He told me to leave it there. He slept a few feet lower down on the bed, with his feet hanging off the end of the bed so that my cat didn’t have to give up her spot on the bed. For the next six years he slept with his feet hanging off the end of the bed so that the cat could have her spot. To be fair, if he tried to sleep in her spot, she’d just sleep on his face.
I mentioned that I liked the chocolate half of some chocolate/strawberry cookies we used to buy. Next time I wanted to grab some, he had eaten all the strawberry halves and left the chocolate ones for me. I was convinced at that point that we were going to be together forever. I really was.
We are living too far away from each other like 300km away and a sea separates us but he got here for a week only for me. Idk if it is that big of a deal for someone but for me it is bc no one has ever done something like this for me.
I lived in a teeny tiny apartment under 400 square feet, so I didn’t have a lot of room for storage or anything. There was a broom closet and he built shelves inside it so that I could use it as a pantry and storage closet
It‘s sadly an exgirlfriend… I mentioned how I struggled with switches in my everyday structure and I had to go to a camp for a week. I was incredibly anxious. She got me an engraved anxiety ring and her hug when we saw each other, made me feel so incredibly grounded.
I’d been feeling really burnt out, I have 2 school age boys who are great but had been running me ragged with school, sports etc. I kind of lost my mind one night and I could tell they were all like “ohhhh shit, this serious”. The next day there was a handwritten list on the fridge made by my partner, a column with each boy’s name, and a list of “Ways to Help Mom” with examples the kids came up with.
I ugly cried at the gesture and they all thought I was even crazier lol. I told him just sensing I needed a hand without making a big ceremony of it (and getting the boys involved) meant a lot to me. And my youngest’s contribution to the list makes everybody laugh
My grandmother passed away recently, which was really hard for me as we were very close throughout my childhood. I saved some trivial/sentimental things, like her silverware (we have a ton) and potholders. It had been a year since we picked up the silverware from my parents house, and they were tied in a plastic bag. I asked my husband to unknot the bag since my hands were wet and we could refill our forks with her silverware. He carefully unknotted it and within the knot, somehow, was one of my grandma’s hairs. He has always been a detailed and meticulous person, but he immediately noticed it which was hard to do because it was silver-white and put it in a bag for me without hesitation.
He was paying enough attention to my grandma’s silverware to notice ONE of her hairs. I would have missed that. That man loves me.
My girlfriend wanted me to apply toner before bed and bought an expensive one. She was showing me how to use it by applying it on my face. And when she was doing it, she made sure to get all spots that the beard didn’t cover and to end it she also got the two weird spots below the lip where there is no beard.
I would not even think of getting that just because. That was just so sincere and sweet. It might not be much, but it’s brought a smile to my face whenever I have thought about it for weeks.
Covering me with the blanket after he wakes up
When my very elderly grandmother needed a breast biopsy for possible cancer, and was going to leave the hospital she was so terrified, she wouldn’t listen to any of the family members. My (now husband) bf somehow calmed her down and actually stayed with her and comforted her through the proceeding. (He was her favorite for ever after, when she died at 103, she wanted him to have the prime pall bearer spot.)
When we were first dating, I was going through chemo and just had a colon resection surgery. For three months, I had an ileostomy. It’s where they take your small intestine and turn it inside out to make a sphincter higher up in your digestive tract so the lower half can heal. As such, I wore an ostomy bag to collect the output.
My care team warned me that the bag would occasionally fill up with gas, so I needed to open the bag at the bottom to let the air out. If I didn’t, the pressure could pop the bag, leading to leaks.
We were asleep in my bed one night when my bag popped. I was so embarrassed! I woke him up, apologizing and saying I needed to change the sheets.
Instead of being grossed out or annoyed about being awake at 2 am, he helped me strip the bed. No squeamishness, no complaints, nothing. He just helped me and told me I didn’t need to apologize, as I was asleep when it happened.
I’ve been in remission since 2021, and he’s been there through it all. I can’t wait to get married to him 🥰
He’d already left for work, and he left a really sweet, cheesy love note and some chocolate for me to find when I woke up. He’s normally not cheesy like that at all and thinking that he did that just because he knew how much I’d like it makes me emotional 🥺
I’d only been out as non-binary for a year, year and a half, when I started seeing my boyfriend, and I’d been through a string of short relationships where my partners pretty much still saw me as a girl despite that. But my boyfriend, he doesn’t just “try”, he asked unprompted what terms I prefer, and when I thought I didn’t have a preference, he paid attention, picked up on what made me happy to be called, and stuck to that without me even noticing. It might seem small, but to someone who has issues establishing their identity it is everything. He is truly my greatest supporter.
Learned how I like to make my tea and makes it for me every morning now because I used to wait for him to finish making breakfast (I don’t eat right when I wake up) and didn’t want to get in his way in our small kitchen.
so i love to bake sweets, but never had a partner bake something for me! when i came over to my current partner’s house for the first time, in addition to dinner, he made me my favorite cookies and said it was fucked up that nobody had baked for me before! i’ve only been seeing him for a couple months but he’s baked other things for me since then 🥺
Late night, I come home
Work currently sucks
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares.
Texted me every day. Every day. I feel wanted. Cherished.
I’ve shared this story in another post, but it was the smallest, quietest thing he did that made me feel loved in a way I had never felt before.
We were on a weekend getaway together. He was driving us back from dinner. We were holding hands, his over mine, just chatting. As our car wound around the pacific coast, I opened up about a series of health issues I hadn’t previously told him about. Serious things. Things I felt shame about, fear about.
When I got to a particularly difficult part, I felt his grip tighten on my hand. He didn’t say a word. He just held harder, and didn’t let up until we parked the car. That one gesture brought tears to my eyes.
The next day, I mentioned to him how much that meant to me. He said “I didn’t even know I did that. I just heard you and felt like I needed to keep you as close as I could and make sure you never have to go through any of that stuff alone. Ever.”
Being loved is being seen and heard and cared about. It’s not the grand gestures. I don’t need gifts and flowers and parades. He held my hand tight and without a single word he healed a part of my soul.
I have a connective tissue disorder so I have to sleep on the couch in a nest of pillows and to support my limbs so they don’t slide out of place. Every night when I fall asleep he puts my drink back in the fridge, plugs my phone in and takes my glasses off my face so gently I don’t even stir.
When he was in Paris, he walked around in a video call to show me the sights as if I was there.
On days when I really struggle with executive functioning, he has groceries delivered to me.
When he was away for months, we called literally every day, I think we only missed 3 days.
He humors me by doing things he absolutely does not want to do, but he knows I would like, like swimming with me, and going to dance classes with me, and playing tennis with me.
He cooked me a steak and dinner that he didn’t even eat, he had already eaten what he wanted that night.
He gave me a credit card to use in case I run out of money. Im very poor, he is a little better off financially.
We’ve been dating less than a year.
One time my BF and I were talking about our dream house. A few days later, I found a drawing of everything I described with the differents ways he could do it, measures and all. I kept the drawing, even though we moved two times since. It has a lot of meaning to me, I really felt like he cared about me and my dreams even though we only had been together for a few months at that time. We still don’t live in that house and probably never will, but I love that he remembered everything I said.
I used to have a beat up John Wayne lunchbox I kept knick knacks and junk in. It disappeared at some point. Several years later I was talking to her from states away and said “how am I gonna keep track of my whole life when I can’t even keep track of a lunchbox?”
About a week later the lunchbox showed up in the mail. Not an identical one, the exact same one.
Before we even started dating, he let me borrow his jacket when I looked cold, brought me rubber bands because he knew I liked to fidget with them, and (context: I fold cards in a very difficult and unique way, and I’d given one to him for his birthday) gave me a painted note folded in the exact way that I fold mine, which must’ve taken a lot to figure out. After, he bought me a book on Irish folklore because he knew I liked mythology and Ireland, brought me roses after I had a bad day, researched and took notes on nosebleed prevention (I have them chronically and wasn’t taking it seriously) to give to me, made me a beaded bracelet to match his, gave me one of his flannels, brought me little tiny flowers every day, bought me a necklace with the star chart of the day we got together engraved on it for Christmas, and so much more. Gifts are the love language I care about the least, but he’s always so thoughtful, and to this day, I love him so much. I hope I can do as much for him as he’s done for me, because he is truly an incredible boyfriend and person.
she listened to a story i’d told before like it was brand new. respect and patience say a lot.
My boyfriend and I were together ~1 year at the time. one morning I was in so much pain from being constipated for 5 days. Without hesitation or being grossed out he went to the store to buy me laxatives and he stayed with me all day while I shit my brains out.
I knew he was the one at that moment I will never forget it
About 6 months into us dating, my very nerdy boyfriend, who loves everything about science and had always dreamt of one day going into space, made a music tape for me of our favourite songs – he did a little voice over at the end of how much he loved me and that he would give up the stars for me 🥺 We’ve now been together for 35 years (married for 27)
A bit ago my fiancee of almost 10 years (got together when we were 18 and are gonna get married this year!) grabbed my some ice cream from the freezer, she brought it in and I said “Oh yay it’s a little melted!” And she explained that she lets it melt a little while doing other stuff in the kitchen because she knows I prefer it like that and noticed I’d let it melt a bit before I started eating.
Just one of those things that really made me feel seen and cared for, I love her so much
I came back from a series of long flights with at most an hour between them so nearly 3 days of frantic travel sweat and no showers. She handed me a glass of brandy and led me to the bathroom set up with a steaming bath and full spa treatment with oils and candles. It was amazing.
Knowing that I have bad insomnia and a tendency to wake throughout the night, if my partner wakes before me he uses pillows to make a “pillow person” in his spot so that I don’t sense his absence and can continue to sleep.
Every time he cuts up an apple to eat, he offers me as many pieces as I want.
It’s not just one thing, it’s all of them together. I mentioned my favorite energy drink on our second date and he had stocked them in the fridge at his place the very next day. I was having a terrible day and even though he really isn’t supposed to (tldr: our relationship is a conflict of interest for his job) he showed up at my apartment just to give me a hug. He opens doors for me, constantly picks up little baubles because he saw them and thought of me, never leaves me on read, and is always proud to brag about me to his friends and family. There’s so much more but the sum of it is: I have no doubt I my mind that this man loves me.
When I was dating my husband, I had to haul a horse cross country. The tires had dry rotted on my trailer and I didn’t know until I was on the road. I called him, freaking out, he met me on the highway and then arranged to have a service come put tires on it right then and there. And then he paid for it.
I MARRIED HIM ASAP.
Whenever I have to step down somewhere he always holds my hand and makes sure I get down safely
He did it in lots of little ways, all the time. A pretty big one was when I asked to be done trying to have kids. He had wanted 4, and I never even had a whisper of a pregnancy. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was crying and a tiny part of me thought he would leave me. He just held me, said “ok, I married you not the hypothetical children you could give me. We can stop.” It was like 1000 pounds came off my shoulders. I couldn’t believe it. I made him go to therapy with me once, just to make sure we were really ok. Like, I knew he loved me. But him just letting go of something he had always wanted like that was huge.
I mentioned to my boyfriend that when you wash blueberries, the sweet ones tend to sink and the more sour ones will stay afloat. My boyfriend proceeded to wash the blueberries in a bowl of water, collect all the sweet ones from the bottom and put them in a container for me to eat while he collected all the ones on top to eat himself.
My knee swelled up after a 12 hour shift. I work a physical job and have rheumatoid arthritis.
He spent an entire evening gently icing my knee with a frozen washcloth, giving me ibuprofen.
He was putting a biofreeze roller on my knee. I noticed he was rolling it over with his fingers, then lightly pressing it on my knee, with each application. I asked him why he was doing it like that instead of just rolling it on.
“It will hurt you if I put it on like that.”
Despite being a broke college student, he bought me chocolates and a little gift for Valentine’s Day after I told him I’d never received anything from anyone before. We weren’t even dating yet at the time (I was done with dating for a while), but he wanted to make me feel special, and drop a big hint about his feelings lol. You could say it worked out pretty well considering we’re married now
I had a lizard for two years, and due to many circumstances I had to find him a new home. We were originally gonna go to a reptile expo and look around (which that in itself shows he cares for me because I love reptiles and he was willing to go just to watch me fawn over them) but the lady I rehomed my lizard to was also going to the same expo and we would do the pickup there. I was having such a hard time as we drove there yet he held my hand throughout the way and reassured me that I was doing the right thing, and comforted me when they drove away and I started balling my eyes out. He didn’t make me feel weird for feeling such emotions for a reptile he was scared of (he was a huge lizard), but he knows how much they mean to me and was there for me. I’ll never forget that
When he thinks I am sleeping, he tucks me and kisses me on the forehead. He is my human and I am beyond grateful to have him in my life.
It was long ago, when I had some important exams to take, and I made a decision to limit social interaction with everyone including my partner at the time. With him, there were just emails and occasional messages. He mostly wrote because I didn’t have the time. He wrote to me everything about all his days and on the days of the exam, he would go to church and pray for me. I didn’t know about the church going and praying until much after. That act was so overwhelmingly loving I think, along with so many email “love notes”. I was part of his everyday even when I physically couldn’t be.
He waited for me. I was in a relationship when we met at work. He was in love with me the whole time and didn’t say a word. He listened to me plan my wedding with another man and kept his feelings to himself. When my relationship with the other person blew up, he listened to me complain and waited until I was completely over it before he said anything.
It may not seem like much, but to me it shows a huge amount of respect. My ex’s friends were trying to hook up with me while I was still with my ex, so the fact that my partner never inserted himself into the downfall of that relationship really made him stand out as a respectful person.
He does so many things all the time. The most recent example though: he gave me a cutting of a little cactus he loves so that I can grow my own. We are long distance but see each other about once a month. He said it would be special to each have a piece of the same plant. This also came a few weeks after I offhandedly mentioned how sad I am that my houseplants keep dying (I travel so much and the last person to look after them on one of my longer trips ended up drowning most of them because they didn’t follow instructions) and I wish I had more plants that didn’t need regular care. So this little cactus cutting is his way of 1) giving me a house plant than can withstand my frequent absences and 2) keeping us symbolically connected over the distance. I got the right soil today and repotted it. I sent him a picture and he was so excited It means a lot to me and I’m happy to have a piece of his home in mine!
He bought several boxes of Runts, took out all the strawberry and banana ones, and sealed it back up in an empty box. He knew they were my favorite and wanted me to have a full box.
I said im not a huge fan of flowers, so instead of buying me flowers he gets me balloons in my favorite color.
She genuinely wants to know I got home safe after something we do together. Not in a routine kind of rote way, but actually wants to know.
When I first starting staying over at his house, he noticed that is squinted a lot whenever he turned on his bedroom overhead light/fan. I have migraines and am very sensitive to lights, sounds, textures, etc. so the next time I stayed over, I noticed that he’d Mcgyver’d a small dark lampshade over the bulb affixed a circle of cardboard underneath, muffling a decent amount of the harshness of the bright light. Just for me, so I’d be more comfortable in his room.
There have been many other things since, but that was the first that stands out.
My husband is incredible in unquantifiable ways, but one little thing that means a lot to me is he always leaves the remote to our ceiling fan on his pillow in the morning.
He usually gets up before me and we like to sleep cold, but he knows it’s hard for me to get up out of the warm blankets when the room is freezing. When I wake up and see the fan remote on the pillow, it means so much to me. It’s as if the first thing he did when he woke up is think of me.
Not sure how “insignificant” this is, but he allowed us to open our marriage up to select outside sexual encounters so we both felt sexually satisfied rather than us be sexually unbalanced.
When my husband and I were in the first five years or so of our relationship, we hit a rough patch and he did something that really upset and hurt me. It wasn’t intentional, more like thoughtless, but the impact was really hard to overlook. For the first time ever, I slept on the couch because I couldn’t stand to sleep next to him that night as angry and hurt as I was.
When I woke up the next morning, he was sitting upright, no blanket, curled up in a ball on the floor next to the couch, gripping my nightgown in his fist and fast asleep. The fact that he was so upset that he hurt me that he came in and slept that way was a wake up call that this man would never intentionally hurt me and would do anything to not have that happen again. And 15 yrs later, he hasn’t.
Keeping the every note I gave to him 🙂
He knows I’m on a strict budget to save money and to kick some old habits to the side.
I mentioned having a craving for something sweet when I was working but I was going to stick to my guns any ways.
He told me a few moments later to check my account. He sent me more than enough funds to treat myself for a few days. It made me feel so special.
It was my 21st bday and a day before yesterday my stupid ass decided to do something new with my hair and i dyed it red which turned out to be bad not that great and i was really sad but i wasn’t showing it to anyone and i was just feeling very conscious, and i was trying to order the same color but it was not delivering on the same day and tmr was my bday party i felt very conscious about it and i tried my best to find it online he noticed that and he just got up he said lets go and we will find something, he took all over the city to find the correct shade of color that i wanted, even though we couldn’t find it but the way he did and stood up just because he knew i wont be able to enjoy by bday like i wanted to and just to make me feel better it was the most sweetest thing
It’s usually the tiniest things that hit the hardest. It’s not always the grand gestures or the big I love you gestures. For me, it was when my partner noticed I always forget to drink water. One day, she just handed me a glass without saying anything. Sounds so small but in that moment, it made me think that he’s actually paying attention.
So on my birthday , after already making my day special with loads of pampering and queen treatment, my husband said he got few more gifts and he was very excited about them. They were foot massager , heel pads , silicon gel cups , foot stretcher . I have severe heel pain and diagnosed with plantar fasciitis. So he deeply researched about plantar fasciitis and got these things for me. I was really emotional. Everyday since then he helps me use those things (i am too lazy ) which really reduced my pain significantly . I dont know what did i do to deserve this Man. This is just one of the million things he does for me everyday.
We were in a busy park and needed to step down a ledge to reach the road. I said “That’s a jump” and he just picked me up and lifted me safely on the ground beside him. Didn’t even bat an eye.
Around seven years ago I told him I wanted a copy of a book that I hadn’t been able to find anywhere. I looked and looked and never found it. Well five years after I told him he surprised me with it for Christmas. I had actually forgotten all about the book and hadn’t mentioned it in years. He remembered and it was so sweet that he listened and kept a mental note of it for years till he finally found it.
When I hit an energy limit I go floor time, and my partner’s never for a moment judged me or been embarrassed. At home I’ll curl up under my desk or a sunny patch, my partner bought me a doggy bed so I can be more comfortable. At family/friends houses I’ll have a lil nap behind someone’s couch or under a dinner table, in public I’ll see a tree or a big grass area or a bench and it’s like calling me for a nap.
I did this all through my childhood & teen years with family and while nobody stopped me I always got comments about being weird or antisocial. My partner & her wider family had one good giggle about it and then were like yep, that’s him, let him do his thing.
I am not a cat
My then-girlfriend (now wife) was about to leave on a two-week vacation to Disney world. Before she left she surprised me with a stack of cards, in order, with instruction to open one each day. They were a bunch of sweet little love notes. Also she gave me a bag of hersheys kisses and a dozen avocados (she wasn’t sure if she should give a guy flowers so gave me a dozen avocados instead lol)
What she didn’t know was that every prior relationship I’d had had ended after an extended absence of some kind (vacation, sickness, etc), so there was definitely some fear there that she didn’t even know I had. I think this was one of the major moments that let me know how serious this was.
This actually was my parents. They were both working, and it was bitter cold. The battery in my mother’s car could get temperamental. So, every day at lunch, my father would drive over to where she worked and he would start her car and let it run 15 – 20 minutes. She only found out when she would find funny greeting cards on her front seat, signed The Phantom Car Starter Upper. The last day of the cold snap, the card was signed: The Phantom Car Starter Upper (PS – You may think you know who I am, but I bet you are wrong(.
When she died we found those cards among her keepsakes.
My wife tells me it was back in 2017 before we were engaged. She was flying back from a cruise with some friends that didn’t go so great so she was already worn out, then during their layover in Miami there was a bomb scare that really rattled her since she had to evacuate the airport, etc. She was supposed to be landing in CT around 10pm, and she was upset because she just wanted to go home, but it would be too late for her to make the 2.5 hour drive back to where we live in MA.
I was still at work when this happened so I called her brother and we planned to drive down that night to meet her at her friends house, get her car, and come home. We ended up getting there right as she got to her friends house from the airport, she said her goodbyes, and we drove the cars back to MA/got back around 1am. It was late but she got to sleep in her own bed that night, and she told me after we got married that was the moment she knew when I dropped everything to come get her because she needed to go home.
I was coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my Dad dying, and had spent the previous year dealing with his house full of garbage (4 hour drive each way most weekends ruining my life) plus a few other stressors. I was exhausted and my wife had to travel away for work so I wasn’t in the greatest headspace.
She had already left for her trip early that morning, so by the time I got out of bed I saw she had left me a card saying “Let the good times roll” and some chocolates and I burst into a flood of manly tears just from the thoughtfulness of it all.
One day I accidentally said that I hate it when the blanket slides down at night and leaves my legs exposed. The next day he came home with an extra blanket and jokingly called it a “leg protector.” It’s such a small thing, but I realized that he really listens to even the smallest details that are important to me.
I had to start an intensive outpatient program because my mental health has been really bad. I had to do the 9 am to 1:30 pm group because I don’t have a car and it had a shuttle service. Problem was, they’d pick me up around 7 am and drop me off around 3. It made me feel miserable to be on the shuttle that much and made it impossible for me to get anything out of group from how early I was waking up in top of other things I had to do with my life. My girlfriend decided I should switch my group time to a later time and has been driving me to and from groups for 2 weeks.
He prioritizes my family. My folks are older and need more help, and he always comes through. He is so patient and kind and sweet to them.
Shortly after I first met my now wife, I stayed over but ended up eating some bad food and vomiting. She sat beside me in the floor and said “what can I do?” She didn’t ask if she could do something or say I wish there was something I could do, she asked what she could do. The way she worded it made me feel like she truly cared and actually wanted to help me in any way to make me feel better. This is just one of many things.
(With some context..we have separate finances still until I get an idea of how much I put into bills. )
Today in fact, both my kids have insurance from me and their dad. I scheduled their eye appointments and only saw how much glasses are covered. I didn’t get paid until Friday (my bad on my part because I just paid off my car). So I asked my husband (kids’ stepdad) if he could send a Venmo for their glasses to get covered. The kids’ dad had to catch up on bills since he has a normal check coming next week so he was broke as well. My husband LOVES these kids and I’m doing whatever I can to pay stuff off and pay bills for the house. I will always appreciate his help.
Also when I’m not feeling well or if I need a nap durring the weekend.
Not with her anymore, but early on into seeing each other (like 3 weeks) I forgot my hydroflask at her place and we worked in the same office. I always like ice cold water even though I never said it out loud. She brought it into work filled with ice even though she didn’t drink it that way because she noticed I did. I think that was the moment I fell for her
He loves to eat pistachios. One night around the campfire, unprompted, he gave me a handful of already shucked pistachios, so I didn’t have to crack them myself. Every time we have pistachios he shucks them all and feeds me every other one.
Okay, this seems odd, but hear me out. My partner and I had only been together for ~3 months when I found out I was pregnant. Birth control failed me. But when I brought it up to him as an anxious ball of nerves, he casually asked what I wanted to do. I said what, he explained, it was my body, I had to do the work, and I had lost before and it was totally my call what to do. I said we keep it and he said okay, we will figure it out. 8 years later, an amazing 7 year old, and the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.
An ex boyfriend, but once I had been super stressed studying for a calculus exam in college. He went MIA that afternoon, and it had been long enough that I started to get worried so I checked his location. He stayed at this lake for hours and wasn’t answering any of my messages or calls. Things were a little rough in his life at that time so I started to get super worried and right as I was about to haul ass down there, he texted that he was on his way to me.
He showed up carrying a tackle box, walked in and said , “you’ll have to rename your other frog to Donkey, because this motherfucker deserves the name Shrek!” And released this gigantic bullfrog into my kitchen. My roommates were less than pleased but I was so happy. He spent hours creeping along the lake shore trying to catch me a big fucking frog. And don’t worry, we went and released him together!
I was home for a weekend and told him I was anxious to fly back to where we live. I got home, and he had bought me flowers, ice cream, watermelon, and soda.
I have endometriosis and was out of town visiting a friend. I texted him that I couldn’t sleep one night because of pelvic and back pain. When I got home, he’d bought me a portable heating pad, one I can wear like a belt rather than keep plugged in.
When we got together, he said he was “here to make my life easier” 😭
This was within the first year of our relationship and I had a 3 hour long therapy program in a town 45 minutes away, and he went with me, and played his Switch while waiting in the car (it was during winter so it was cold as heck). All because I was nervous and not wanting to go. We’ve been together now for 7 years, and I’ve put him through some tough shit with my mental health, last being multiple suicide attempt earlier this summer due to some issues with my medications and other things. He’s stuck by me every step of the way. And he shows no sign of giving up on me and I love him so incredibly much.
I had a really difficult year in 2024. I had burned out super hard, I was failing most of my classes, and I felt really isolated because it didnt seem like the friends Id made in college cared to reach out even when Id told them I was in a bad way. My partners long distance, and we were chatting one day while I was lying in bed. Id been really stressed and incredibly depressed, Id been crying the whole day and just didnt have the strength to get out of bed. They started asking me what my favourite restaurant was and what I liked to eat from there. It didnt click that they were ordering me food until they told me it was on the way, and I think I just cried more because I felt so cared about. Iirc, they even paid for dessert. I nearly cried again just thinking about it and how much they took care of me last year when I was at my lowest since high school. I dont think they’re on reddit as much as I am so I don’t think they’ll see this, but if you do, I love you so much. Thanks for everything <3
It was early on and we weren’t even officially dating yet when I mentioned to my (now husband) that I had always wanted to see dinosaur fossils in a museum and never had because we only have art museums in our area. The next day he asked if I was free because he bought tickets to the nearest dinosaur museum that was 4 hours away! I knew he was special at that moment, and after our first official date I knew we would be married someday. It’s only been 2 years of marriage but he constantly has these insignificant moments that show me his love.
The reassuring hand squeezes at times of self doubt, or when something crazy happens or navigating through grief. There’s just a certain nuance to this squeeze that is not like others. It makes me feel protected that he has my back. 💜
He put oil in my car and rotated my tires for me before a long road trip that I was taking by myself. I didn’t ask him to do this. Heck, I didn’t even think about doing this at all. He said he just did it because he loves me and he wants me to have a safe drive and would beat himself up if anything happened to me because he didn’t make sure my car was up to snuff. It really touched my heart 🥹.
I had a really bad day at work and didn’t even tell them, but when I got home they had run me a bath and made dinner. It was such a small but meaningful way of saying “I’ve got you.”
My partner programmed the lighting in our apartment to turn on in the morning when I get ready for work since I leave before them, so I’d never have to walk around a dark apartment.
When my dad passed away, my older siblings (all 3 are older by 10+ years) dropped the ball on coming together and helping clean up the pieces. His death was very unexpected so he had no afterlife care plans and it all ended up falling on me, like cleaning out his house, finding all the important documents, etc. and the icing on the big old shit flavored cake was that my dad lived 4 hours away in another state. My dear sweet boyfriend made not one, not two, but three separate trips with me in the dead of winter with 4 feet of snow on the ground to bring my dad and his things home. He never complained. He fabricated his trailer into a makeshift enclosed trailer so my dad’s things would be protected on the highway from the snow, salt, and water. Yeah he loved my dad too, of course, but making sure I didn’t have to worry about more than I already did in the ways he could meant the world. He knew he couldn’t take the grief and the hurt and the stress, but he knew he had broad enough shoulders to carry the physical load. No one has ever shown up for me in that big of a way, that’s the love of my life.
We’ve been together a decade. Only recently did I find out during car rides she has always been distracting me when she sees roadkill to make sure i never see it and get sad.
One night,after getting up from bed to use the restroom in the middle of the night , I suddenly felt extremely scared and didn’t dare to move . I just said,” I’m so scared.” My partner quickly out of the bed and rushed towards me , almost falling over the process .
This was like two weeks ago.
I just cut my bangs and was feeling insecure about it so before his family dinner, I begged my boyfriend to stop at dollar tree so I could quickly grab a headband to hide them.
When we got into the car I went to grab the headband and saw a pack of ponytails with two clips. I asked him when and why he got them and he told me when I split off to look at something he grabbed them because he knew I was also losing my ponytails and thought that the clips might be useful / a quick way to hide them.
I just sat back and thought wow. He knows me more than I know myself. He thought of something I didn’t even think of- for the benefit of ME. It just really touched my heart to think I am so lucky to find someone so thoughtful and giving- filled with so much love.
BONUS: he regularly picks me up my favorite drinks, snacks, dinners etc and surprises me with them. Once he stopped at the gas station on his way home from work (he gets off 5 hours before I do) and surprised me with my favorite redbull that was out of stock by my work – two of them.
We lived an hour apart. We both got food poisoning and he drove the hour just to bring me Gatorade.
When I first met my now husband, I was a train wreck. Binge drinking, drunk driving, having basically an unmedicated bpd fallout.
Within a month of us knowing each other I was finally in a bad enough place that I wanted to kill myself. I made an attempt in my bathroom, after politely telling him knowing him had been wonderful but I couldn’t keep going.
He lived an hour away. He called the cops on me and had me put in a 72 hour hold, came up to town to watch my precious dog. He quit his job after this and moved in (he was living with his dad) without asking, because my doctor’s said I needed someone to watch me.
This was within a month of knowing me, two weeks into talking. He learned so much about BPD and made sure I took my meds on time every day, and held me even when I was violent and angry.
Weve been together for five years. We now have a precious 3 year old, a cat, our dogs, and 8.5 acres of land for me to get lots of fresh air since it helps my bpd.
He is an angel of a man and I hope everyone finds someone like him
My wife makes me coffee and puts it on my nightstand every morning.
I spend half the month on the road for work and half at home off work. She’s a morning person and I’m most definitely not when I’m off work. So I get to sleep in and then when I wake up there’s coffee on the nightstand just for me. I can relax, sip coffee, and scroll whatever on my phone in bed in peaceful quiet bliss.
It’s not a huge thing but it’s so wonderful. And I appreciate it very much.
I remember my partner leaving little notes for me to find throughout the day. It was such a sweet surprise that really made me feel loved.
He asked for the entire kitchen to be remodeled so that it would be perfect for someone 5’3, which is my height. He had his mom stand up while the workers measured things around her and she would pretend to be cooking and talk about how comfortable the heights of things were.
I only found out about this many months after having moved in. 😭🥹🥰
When my husband and I were first dating my cat got very sick and needed to be admitted to the vet hospital for about a week. I was beside myself with worry and was so overwhelmed because I just didn’t know how I was going to pay for the vet bills. My husband had a vacation planned that he was extremely excited about, it was a specialty cruise with a lot of metal bands that were going to be onboard. He didn’t even hesitate when he said he can just cancel the trip and get a refund and I can use that money to pay the vet bills. I knew he was a keeper. We have been married for 14 years, the cat is currently 19 and loves to sleep on my husband’s legs.
My fiancé has been bringing me drinks like water and juice so I don’t have to get out of bed whenever I’m relaxing since I started dating him 2 years ago. He exclaims, “You have no drink!” And off to the kitchen he goes to pour one for me. So simple yet screams volumes about how much he loves me.
When I would wake up from period cramps at night, my boyfriend gets up and grabs me ibuprofen and water for me.
Last night I told him I was having cramps as we going into bed. Usually his hands are super warm so he will be my heating pad as I go to sleep. Obviously over the night we change positions. But I woke up in the middle of the night from him stirring and he turned over put his hand back over my lower belly in his sleep. He says he doesn’t remember lol!
Earlier this year, I told my fiancé I was a little nervous about getting married, sorta joking sorta not. We had been dating for two years, but I didn’t think we had had any major “tests” to the relationship. We had been smooth sailing from the very beginning.
In March, my mother died quite suddenly from liver failure. I had flown across the country to see her and when the docs told us there wasn’t anything to be done, I sent him a text and he was on a plane within six hours.
He got to the hospital, we turned off the dialysis for my mom, transferred her to hospice, and went home to get some sleep. I was a wreck and hadn’t slept in about three days. As we were crawling into bed, he unzipped his suitcase to reveal he had brought a blanket from our bed. My cat sleeps on it every night and it smelled like her.
Just that little reminder of home and peace confirmed everything I already knew about him, that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
We get married in 3 days!
I have ADHD. As most women, I only got diagnosed til my 30s, after spending a few years battling depression and all my life dealing with others’ and my own frustrations about being “so smart so how is it you can’t just pay attention and stop being/making a mess”.
We were just starting out and it was at the end of me staying with him for the first time for a couple of days. In that time I’d learned this man was a neat freak: organized, structured and liked things neat. I was terrified of messing things up in his apartment. I had already accidentally broke a glass and without any reaction he looked at it, went to get the broom, cleaned the mess up and as I was mortified and profusely apologizing he just said “it’s okay. Nothing happened. Just step back, I don’t want you hurting yourself”, then he held my hand and we went to bed.
The next day we were talking on the couch as I was holding a cup of coffee and talking very enthusiastically with my hands, the coffee kept swinging just barely inside the cup. I saw him looking at it and at me nervously, I thought he was gonna yell at me to stop doing that. He didn’t. He waited for me to take a pause and in the most calming kindest voice held both of my hands and said “is it okay with you if I hold this for you or put it on the side table? And I’ll hand it over whenever you want to drink. That way we don’t risk losing a cup cause we only have two”.
And I knew.
My husband had a bone marrow biopsy and aspiration done while feeling ill unrelated to the hematological reason that test was ordered. If you have no idea, that is a painful AF procedure even after his doctor gave him a strong Vicodin to take an hour ahead of time. He still wanted to do the dishes for me after dinner that night.
She always remembers that when I’m busy at work she will bring me a cup of coffee and toast bread without me asking.
I’d been having car trouble and went to a mechanic nearby that swindled me, charged me over $500 and it only took about a quarter mile drive for me to realize the issue hadn’t been fixed. I drove back to the shop and the guys inside gave me the run around, wouldn’t give me a refund. I called my boyfriend from there and ended up frustrated-crying to him over the phone, I’d felt so stupid and taken advantage of. He talked me off a ledge and stayed on the phone with me until I got home safe. The next morning, my boyfriend came over, drove me to the mechanic shop in his car, stood up for me, had enough car knowledge to call out their BS, and got me my money back. He was very riled up about how a woman can’t even go to a mechanic without worrying about being swindled, and he doesn’t get mad very often at all. He didn’t think anything of it, just kept saying it was the right thing to do. He was my hero that day (and has continued to be since) damn I love that man 😍
Not me or my partner, but my cousin’s husband texted me for the first time ever (they have been married for 15+ years) to let me know that my cousin was having an operation and wanted to get as many family and friends to send get well cards as possible because he knew she would appreciate that. I have always liked him.
He remembered my coffee order. When my fiance and I first started dating, we were on the phone one day when I went through the Starbucks drive-through. A week later he showed up to our date with my exact coffee order. He knows my order places, knows what snacks I like. He will get me a little treat if he stops at the gas station on his way home (he gets the kids treats also). This is huge to me because my ex husband and I were together for 14 years, married 12, and he couldn’t even order me coffee or remember what snacks I liked. It isn’t even a hard coffee order. An iced sugar free vanilla latte with oat milk (or the pumpkin cream cold brew when it is out).
I farted so hard I shit on the wall while we were showering. Getting married soon.
When her father passed away she was traumatized by hospitals. She wouldn’t even go near one. One day I had to go and I figured she couldn’t go with me so I was alone. I was honestly half dead waiting on the chair and I feel someone touch me. It was her and she hugged me while crying because she remembered her dad. That day I realized that even in the most painful moments of her life she still chose to be with me.
We both hate the end pieces on the bread. Yesterday, there were two middle slices and two end pieces left in the bag. I went to a make a sandwich today and it was just the two middle slices.
My bf had gotten me a mug with a little hedgehog on it and it was my favorite cup. One day when I went to put it away I dropped it and it shattered. I was so sad because the company that made it was no longer in business. That year for Christmas he got me a new mug with the same little hedgehog. He had found out who the artist of the hedgehog was and asked them to make me a new cup. I cried and still get emotional every time I use it.
When we first started dating I got quite sick and ended up in hospital. He was away that weekend and when he got back he drove an hour and a half round trip just to make sure I ate dinner and took my meds 😭
My partner has a flexible, work from home schedule where he can be up when he wants (for the most part) and I have to be up at about 4:30/5am for work. He’ll come over to stay the night just so he can wake up before me, make me a cup of coffee, bring it to me in bed to wake me up, see me off and then go back to sleep. He does this regularly, without big ceremony, and it makes me feel like the most loved, cared for human in the world.
Another one is that he was not raised with dogs and isn’t used to them in the house but has made a big effort to include my dog who is absolutely my best friend and fur child. One day, we were leaving my pup at his house alone for the first time, and I came out of the bathroom to see that he had set up a fan in front of a dog bed for my doggo AND turned on a “soothing music for dogs” channel so that he wouldn’t be anxious in a new place when we left. 😭 love him.
This is really simple but I will never forget it. İ can provide more details but I had a thing for bottled water at the time. Not from the tap.
It was the early morning of 9/11/01 and I was running late for work. At the time I lived in a 4 story walk up on the upper west side. My boyfriend would leave around 7am and this particular Tuesday he knew I was running behind for work and went to the bodega on the corner and picked up a giant bottle of Evian. And a small breakfast sandwich
Normally, I would have picked up this on my way to work and I would leave 30 min earlier to get them.
Anyway – He sprinted like nobodies business down and then up that walk up 4 stories and down again to get to work on time. Came back in and surprised me with the water. I saw the sweat on his brow but he acted nonchalantly about it and I gave him a kiss.
This effort delayed me from rushing to go to work earlier than I would.
One night I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up in the middle of the night to find that my partner had put a blanket over me and left a glass of water on the table. It was such a small thing, but it made me realize how much they pay attention and care about my comfort.
They only buy the flavors of yogurt that I like. I can’t even explain why that’s cute, because it’s not like I’m unable to avoid the other flavors lol
My boyfriend and I found each other late in life – we’re 51 and 53. We spend lots of time outside – concerts, farmer’s markets, festivals, sporting events. We’re usually holding hands. When the crowd gets to be too much, he grabs my arm, draws me to his back, and guides me through the crowd. I have no idea why this makes me so happy. I don’t even have to tell him I’m feeling anxious, he just knows and helps me enjoy our time together. I love him.
Not “for me” exactly but how caring he is as a person. It was the exact moment I knew I was in love with him. My cat has chronic sinus issues and often has boogers and a crusty nose. One day I’m in my kitchen and I turn around to find my boyfriend gently wiping my cats’ nose and giving him a kiss. He didn’t know I had turned around. Just genuine moment of him lovingly caring for my cat. It told me everything I needed to know about who he was and how he much he cared.
My boyfriend has done a lot of small things with big impact. First few that come to mind:
genuinely takes interest and remembers things I say.
talked to me for 5-6 hours when I had to stay awake overnight for a flight home from Greece. I felt unsafe sleeping in the airport and he was kind enough to keep me awake and chit chat.
stayed the night at my apartment during the week multiple times when I was feeling unwell, when my car was being fixed, and when I really needed him emotionally. He lives and works over an hour away from me and insisted that he comes to take care of me and keep me company.
Many more things. I love this guy with my whole heart.
Everything she does. I should appreciate her more.
After we ate dinner he asked me if I needed some tums, it sounds weird but he noticed that eating whatever we had usually gives me heartburn. I almost cried because I’d never felt seen like that in a relationship before.
Not my partner but my parents’ relationship. Growing up, life was hard, money was tight. Nothing was ever easy and my mom was struggling with way more mental issues than she knew at the time.
One day I’m out grocery shopping with my mom, and a white truck pulls up next to us at the stop light. The window rolls down, and I hear a familiar voice— it’s my dad!
Dad had recognized Mom’s car and he decided to flirt with her at the traffic light, making her feel loved and desired and appreciated. He couldn’t afford a lot of things but he still went out of his way to show my mother what she meant to him.
Fuck cancer.
I dropped and lost my makeup bag with all my favorite brushes in it and was sad about it. My hubby got into our Amazon history and found all the makeup stuff I’d bought in the past and reordered it for me.
We were in our early twenties and I got pregnant. We were both in a place where we were not ready and I was an upcoming preschool teacher who just got her first full-time position. I decided to get a procedure and he fully supported me. Days leading up to it, he took care of me. He washed my hair after I vomited. He would drive wherever to try and get me food because I couldn’t stomach anything. On the day of the procedure, he went with me. When we were sitting in the waiting room, I realized that I was the only girl there who had a second person for support. When the time came, I was so nervous and scared, he begged the doctors if he could come with me because I didn’t want him leaving my side. I remember gripping his hand while getting numbed and I dont know what I looked like but he started tearing up and held my hands tight. After all that was over, he literally carried me to the car and we went to his place to rest for the night (my parents had no idea). The next day, I had breakfast, warm blankets, and cuddles from him. It made me love him even more. And it definitely made our relationship stronger. It’s going to be 13 years this summer, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He always makes sure I’m fed and warm in bed (even though he runs hot and the minute I lie down it’s like I lose all body heat)
Left in the middle of work to pick me up & take me to the hospital after I got robbed & assaulted.
He would cut out the tough middle of those big tomatoes whenever he made me a caprese salad because I didn’t like them.
Whenever he goes on a work trip, he makes sure he makes cold brew coffee ahead of time so I have coffee while he’s gone (he makes our coffee daily).
My partner and I have pretty different work/study schedules, which usually means I’m asleep when they have to leave for work in the morning. Despite the fact that I’m asleep, it is still incredibly important to them to cuddle me and give me kisses on the forehead in the morning before they leave.
Maybe an odd way to word it, but the fact that I know they’re doing it purely for them (in those moments) makes me feel very loved. They want to be loving and affectionate even if I’m not concious for it. They just want to give me love.
Each time he has gone with me to visit my dad’s grave – my partner cleans the headstone and maintains the grass around it.
My husband never had a chance to meet my dad, but he shows respect to the man that raised me.
Had a migraine and felt pukey. Said I couldn’t decide between a ginger tea for my stomach or an earl Grey for my head. He made me a mug of each.
I introduced him to my grandma. We had tea and biscuits. Not only did he do the dishes, he cleaned out the filter at the bottom of the sink. For me it was the difference between being outwardly helpful (rinse a cup) and actually helping
He loves to cook, I have textural issues with food. I don’t eat a lot of meat because of that, especially steak. When he would fix steak for dinner, he would cut the fat off of mine. I never asked him to, he just started doing it one day. It made me feel so seen and loved, especially since it’s something I’ve gotten so much flack over. “That’s where all the flavor is!” “You’re ruining it!” But he never gave me shit for it. He understood it, he saw me cut the fat off every time I was served steak and just decided to take it upon himself to do it for me.
My ex boyfriend has this habit where he always scratch my back cause I know it makes me relax. 🥹
I was jetlag. He cooked chicken soup for me at 4am. Right there, I knew, I was gonna marry the man.
and we’re getting married next month! ♥️
We’ve been married 13 years after starting long distance. In her culture mental health isn’t really discussed, it’s more of a “keep it to yourself” or dismissed type attitude.
She made huge efforts to learn and understand my ADHD and bipolar type 2 disorders. She can usually tell when I’m about to enter a manic and depressive episode. My career requires me to do state licensing and attend classes yearly. I’m terrible at studying due to my ADHD. She then spent days researching and came up with a strategy to help me study and pass. She has a degree and was near the top of her class. I was a dropout
I ended up not only passing but finishing both licenses over 90% passing.
I honestly feel like she does more for me then I do for her. She doesn’t even care if I zone out and play games all day. I do it a lot less as I LOVE spending time with my wife but we’re both introverts who have no problem just chilling next to each other without saying anything. I’d be so screwed without her.
Doing the dishes. I have to do them all the time, and once I said I fuckimg hate doing it all the time and the next day when I came home they were done. It made me so unbelievably happy. I
My husband always helps me put on my shoes.
He has been married to me during one of the hardest years of my life (and we’ve only been married a year!) and every morning, if he senses I’m awake and just lolling, he scoops me up and tucks my head under his chin in a cuddle.
I also like compression for sensory needs to relax, especially on my head, so at night he’ll get me in the same cuddle position and gently press on my head to get me into a relaxed state for sleep. I don’t deserve him.
He stood in the pouring rain yesterday waiting for me to come out of the office so he could sit in the passenger seat next to me as I drove home. He’s been doing this pick-up and drop-off at work thing for the last two weeks because I just recently got my license and the parking garage is terrifying and really tight. He’ll sit next to me as I drive to work, then go home.
Two days ago I tried to do it alone while he was on the phone, talking to me to reassure me. Suddenly he heard me start to panic because I had turned in too quickly to go down the ramp & couldn’t back up because there was a huge line of expensive (managers & ceos!) cars behind me. I kept panicking and scraped the side of the car. Thankfully someone came out to help me, but when I asked my boyfriend if he could come he said he’s already halfway there.
The second time I met my ex, we weren’t even dating yet, he invited me to dinner with best friends that are like family to him, and as it was soon after their wedding anniversary, he bought them a bouquet of flowers which he carried in a bag—and then when he gave them the flowers he pulled out another bouquet just for, with not just my favourite colour scheme, but with a portrait he drew of me with the day we met written on the back.
He also remembered that I’m lactose intolerant and asked if cheese would be fine in our dinner, I had a runny nose due to allergies and he worried about me getting a cold, the entire weekend he proceeded to drive me around and show me around in his town even though he hates driving, sang for me when I said that I like his singing voice, and generally constantly checked in with me whether I felt good and comfortable.
Sadly we had to break up due to becoming long-distance but damn if he didn’t set the bar extremely high from the very beginning.
When I was laid up and off work with a broken leg, the first week I was at home and off work, he came over every day after work and made or brought food for me and my kids. The second week, my kids were at their dads so he moved me and my dog into his house to take care of me.
This thread is so pure, and I too am incredibly grateful to have a partner who provides me with dozens to hundreds of examples of gestures like this. He is my world.
When we started dating, my birthday landed on a local pride event. We’re both a part of the community in different ways, and he knew I hadn’t been brave enough to go to a larger big city pride post covid era, so he dedicated the day to us going to the event… but not before presenting me with rainbow-cupcakes. I dont mean like rainbow frosting or sprinkles, I mean this man separated out 7 different colors of batter and found a way to make them like an edible rainbow version of the earths-core model from science class as a kid, and topped them with chocolate frosting (my favorite, i hate vanilla frosting and always have). at this point in the plot, we had not yet said i love you. his dad doxxed him though; i said the cupcakes were really good and he said “yeah, thats what it is to be loved. He definitely loves you. He was hunched over those bowls for a while” lmfao. I was a stammering blushing mess at the time. We had not yet said it but very clearly both felt it 😭
Later on in our relationship, less than a year in i think, he heard some details of my abusive home situation and was like “well, just move in with me instead.” No logistics or hemming and hawing, just open kindness. We did move in together, and after hearing about how safe christmas lights/dim lighting makes me feel due to one of very few safe environments i was able to be in a kid, while i was at work one day he painstakingly hung christmas lights all over his apartment. I came home and fully cried—i hadnt asked, i just felt so warm and safe. motherfucker did this AGAIN when we moved into an apartment of our own together. part 2 was only in our living room bc of some wonky outlets, but do not fret dear reader, I sobbed again so uncontrollably i was worried our neighbors would call to do a wellness check.
He is not my keeper, but I am open about my disabilities/disabling conditions (ptsd, chronic back and hip pain, dizziness when bending or stretching etc) so as to not blindside him with issues i
Couldve foreseen. He has helped me accept that working with my disabilities, rather than against them, is okay and valid and GOOD to do. Encouraged, even.
If I’m deep cleaning and my back is about to give, i tell him and he helps me lie down, gets me my ibuprofen and my favorite flavor of seltzer. He plays with my hair and kisses my forehead, because i mentioned once that forehead kisses always felt the most pure/best to me, since there was never an expectation attached sexually or otherwise. He does not complain that I have stopped mid-job, and he does not rush to complete it unless i explicitly ask—he knows my autonomy in completing the task when i feel better means a lot to me. If my ptsd is hitting bad, he gets the sensory things i need (namely ice packs, headphones, and thinking putty) and sits with me until I’m back.
He pauses tv shows 2-2.5 forty minute episodes in because he knows i probably have to pee, but i will often try to hold it through to the end so he doesnt have to wait for me.
Two weeks ago, i was having a lot of anxiety at once. I dont even remember the trigger now, but earlier in the day id mentioned missing oatmilk, since i hadnt had it since college. We’re in a spot where we could buy it now, and he knows i traditionally love chocolate milk, so when I’d calmed down enough to be left to my own devices without losing my gorilla grip on reality, he went to “run errands,” picking me up 2 cartons of chocolate oat milk, pouring each of us a glass.
He has worked, both with me and more sneakily, to find meatless/low-grease/low-fat recipes that my body can handle due to gallbladder issues. As my list of safe foods narrows, he takes extra care patting down greasier items to keep them as safe as possible before i can get proper care. He is the first person other than my mother who has held my hair while i puked (gall bladder makes this happen often, though he has only been able to get anywhere near me for it recently due to my own worries). He knows i hate my nose for its size, and whenever i ask him what he finds attractive about me, it is within the first 3 things he mentions (usually it is the first) as a hot/cute feature that he loves feeling when our faces are pressed together to kiss, or to see when we’re sitting beside each other and he glances over at my face profile. He embraces every creative idea i have with a yes-and, no matter the wackiness. Our entire apartment has silly paintings I’ve made hanging on the walls, and he hung them with pride, command strips, and so much love.
He’s currently sewing me some medieval, poofy jester shorts because despite his fear of clowns, he knows I love silly clowning for the bit, and the jester middleground is manageable for both of us to feel good. Whenever he goes on a grocery run without me, he tends to pick up whatever I’ve been into lately without making a big deal of it so i don’t get in my own head about it in an ED-way. I’ve been into iced tea? He gets my favorite brand. Soda? The flavors I’ve been taking to work get replaced in double. Particular chip/cookie/cereal cravings? We have them in stock, as well as a few airfryer safe freezer comfort foods like bagel bites for the toughest days. I grew up with a lot of food scarcity and fatshaming, so making sure i always have something that is not spoiled, is safe for my body, and is a texture/flavor/cuisine I am more inclined to eat particular is far more impactful than it would seem to the average bear.
Any reassurance I open up asking for is granted; if my concern is actually rational, the issue is discussed so that i dont live in bad-vibe limbo, and we sort through any issues with kindness, us against the problem.
He holds me through every nightmare, he leaves me little love notes, especially when he knows a given day is going to be challenging for me. He makes me feel strong when I feel anything but; he uses his voice to elevate mine when we are in male-dominated spaces. He corrects his parents on my pronouns, and supports me when my homophobic family is being shit.
I grew up rough. I didnt think I’d live this long, and i sure as hell didn’t want to. I’ve got to say, I have never been so grateful and do happy to be proven wrong, day in and day out, indefinitely.
He is my world. There are things i do for him as well, his acts of service and support/affection are not a one-way street, but i have never been so safe and loved before, even as a toddler. I would not change a thing, and I am so incredibly grateful for everything our life has become, and every aspect of who he is. I am the luckiest person on the planet, and i choke up during phoebe bridgers “graceland, too” when she gets to the line “she knows she lived through it, to get to this moment” because holy fuck, i truly did.
I feel like I had never breathed before he entered my sphere. I hadn’t even known I was drowning, surviving and never living, until I came to know the support, love, and freedom our connection has brought me.
I needed to have oral surgery, the date was set in January. The date of the appointment, we drove about 76 miles to the surgeon who would do it in the beginnings of a major snow storm. I was so out of it and he didn’t want to worry about me and drive, he paid for a hotel room and stayed right next to me the whole time we were there after the surgery.
We were very, very poor at the time, money was really tight. He never, ever said a negative word about spending that money. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but this made me realize he was absolutely the one. He was a seriously good man, still with him for over 22 years.
I still love him and he owns my loyalty.
Past 12 AM on my birthday back in 2023 (we were together 13 years back then), in bed, my sleeping husband turned to me, kissed my forehead then said, “Happy birthday. You are my world.” Didn’t even open his eyes. Went back to sleep immediately.
My husband offered to make me a banana cream pie from scratch for my birthday – I’m the only one in my family that likes this flavor so it never gets picked when choosing desserts for holidays and etc ❤️
I’m pregnant and exhausted right now. I have the day off and he brought me coffee in bed, then the breakfasted, sleepy-snuggly cat, moved my hair out of my eyes and tucked me in better.
All these little things that are so sweet and precious.
(The purring cat gets the baby squiggling, too)