Like were they always this misogynistic or did birthing a male human being make them this way?
Case in point: my paternal grandmother.
I just don’t get it? They literally raise their boys to be misogynists and give them the idea that the world(women) owe them anything? I genuinely think women uphold the patriarchy just as much as men, as women are often the primary caregivers to young children and therefore shape their personality quite a lot, if not most.
Edit: some not all obviously. I do know some boy mum who genuinely make an effort to teach their sons about equality and respect. I just see it a lot not only from my own culture, but in the news and in society where boy mums will either enable or even encourage their sons behaviour towards women
Second edit: it’s wild some people in the comments are taking this as some kind of attack on ALL mothers and women lmao. I can only assume you or your loved ones have not been the victim of one of these people. Not all women are innocent victims of the patriarchy, they may have been at some point but choosing to make other women suffer just because you’ve suffered is what keeps it going
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You’re correct, many women do uphold the patriarchy and are misogynistic. But it didn’t come out of nowhere. Up until very recently, most women’s main goal in life was to be married to a successful man to ensure financial security. Hopefully he was kind too, but that wasn’t essential for survival. All of us, including women, were conditioned to understand that men were the leaders and the deciders and we should aim to please them to get what we wanted.
This shit will take centuries to undo, if we can eventually achieve equality.
I think some of them think it’s a rite of passage. “I lived through this shit and the only thing that will help my soul is for others to suffer the same.” (It will not help your soul).
Same shit that causes republicans to not want to cancel education loan debt.
When this dynamic appears it’s because they want the love from their son they never got from their father or partner. They are terrified their perfect boy will turn from them. It’s emotional incest and it’s to sabotage their future relationships so their boy never leaves. I see it happen all the time.
I see it all the time and am dismayed that it has crossed generations.
My beloved Aunt who is in her 90’s , in a nursing home, is far more likely to blame her daughters-in-law than any of her four — FOUR — sons for neglect, problems ,etc.
And, sadly , my sisters. Each has 2 sons . background: My daughters were the first female grandkids until one sister had a third, a girl.
As our kids have matured, I find it odd that my sisters have never once commiserated on my interest in having our kids learn about consent, etc. And worse:
The one with whom I am closer (who has the daughter) clearly favors her sons. One horrible example that stands out: When we were sharing concerns about our kids going off to college, she expressed fear that her athlete son would “get in trouble at parties” because “those girls, you know, everyone gets drunk but then they make accusations against the boy that can ruin his life. And they all dress like sex workers.”
So, yeah. pretty awful.
I prefer to love my sisters from a distance at this point.
🙄 yeah, it’s not misogynistic at all to blame the mom for the son’s shit behavior…
My mom is like this , it boggles my mind. My brother who’s a grown ass man was spending the night at a girls house and my mom was blowing up his phone at 5am . And because he didn’t answer (probably because he was asleep!) my mom immediately called several of his friends until she got his location then went over there to the girls house and rang on the door bell til around 6:30am until they finally woke up and came to the door and she got my brother to leave.
My mom is very distant with me and constantly criticizing me and every woman that she comes across but with my brother she looks at him and acts towards him like a partner and it grosses me out so much. And when my other brother told us he was getting married I said congratulations and was happy for him. She was not she was asking him if his fiancé was forcing him to get married and if he was being manipulated into this, and didn’t even congratulate him. I always wished I had a girl mom.
Yes they always were likely to think that way. It’s one of the reason that I dislike the term “the patriarchy”. It’s not a cabal called The Patriarchy it’s patriarchal mindsets entrenched in society.
Not everyone has them. But yes some women do. They believe that men and women are incredibly different and that the way in which men are different from women is superior. They also tend to despise men who aren’t in their eyes masculine enough.
>Like were they always this misogynistic
yes
And they’re really doing their sons a disservice because they’re raising them to be undateable
It’s so deeply and fiercely ingrained in women that boys are better, men are better, the only ACTUAL pride some woman can have is birthing a male.
I listen to women going on and on about how they want a boy or are so grateful to have sons and how difficult girls are and I’m like phuk you how about that?
As a daughter, phuk you.
Also, yeah women are conditioned to believe they’ve done something admirable when they birth a boy child. And they raise him to be more of a lover than a son to them. It’s weird.
You’re describing a societal brainwashing and conditioning.
The fact that you blame the women for this and not the women and men for this is pretty telling of your own views. Your post is “why do women let men behave so poorly.”
Why blame women for something men are doing?
Yes. A lot of women “prefer” boys and are complicit in misogyny.
Their baby boys are perfect and only they know how to do things the right way for them.
I say let ‘em. No mommas boys. If a kid (any gender) cannot make a sandwich, wash their dishes and laundry, organize their own lives by age 18, the parents have maybe 2 more years to help them, by 20 it is a lost cause. Hope they can stay housed and hold a job, because their parents have done them no favors.
You don’t have to be a mean a-hole, but coddling and doing everything for them is a serious personality problem.
True. A friend was expecting her first child.Scan showed it was a girl.
She bought a sewing machine to make non-pink & non-cutesy clothes for the baby, chose a gender neutral name, painted the nursery yellow, and told everyone to avoid buying girlie gifts for the baby.
Fast forward. Scan was wrongly read, she gave birth to boy. She threw away the clothes and sewing machine as “you don’t sew for boys”, repainted everything blue, ditched the gender neutral name. Within two months it was all “boys need boys’ toys” and #MumOfBoys and “Boys are just different”.
Do you think women are the only influence on boys?
I also think that a lot of women, consciously or unconsciously, keep up the patriachy.
Had a few female colleagues in their 30’s -40’s who were complaining because they learned it’s considered sexual harrasment if a man slaps the behind of a woman without her permission. “Back in our days we just laughed when a stranger touched us”.
Their argument was “men can’t be men anymore” and I was so confused. How is touching strangers without their consent a quality of “manliness”? And these colleagues all had young sons so I’m really wondering how they will turn out…
My MIL is the same. She recently stated to my boyfriend (her son) that “it’s perfectly ok for a woman to be dependent on the man”. He asked if she would say the same if she had a daughter…
You are correct, my MiL is like this. A misogynistic bitch that thrives in making everybody around her suffer through inequality
>I genuinely think women uphold the patriarchy just as much as men
Sadly, this is why patriarchy managed to stick so hard and for so long. Men pitted women against each other to fight for validation or even survival that only men could give. And if women are too busy fighting each other then they won’t deal with oppression.
I’ve seen women putting a lot more value on boys too. Because in patriarchal world boys are considered to have more value. And “easier” to raise. A future heir that will pass on the name. Plus, women are blamed for not giving a son so this also contributes. It’s all dumb and misogynistic af but that’s what we’re dealing with unfortunately.
My grandmother was misogynistic as all hell. To the point where she refused to read books written by women. (Except one but she had a male pen name and I’m persuaded she had no idea it was a lady lol)
Had 3 girls and one boy and he was the golden one just because (and became an asshole). And the worst thing is that she became that way because of our patriarchal society. She was forced to drop her job that she loved (medical nurse) by pressure of both families and become a stay at home mom to make children and take care of them. She resented being a woman and be made to do whatever the society thought the life script of a woman was.
Of all her kids, my mom was the most badly treated and I’m absolutely sure it’s because she was a lot more strong headed, independent and work-oriented than the others and my grandmother probably resented her for being able to have the life she wanted. It’s so twisted that she became what she hated instead of being happy for her girls
Boy moms are the product of already misogynistic women having sons. They’re awful. What’s worse is a woman who calls herself a boy mom but also has daughters. Rest assured that not all mothers with sons are “boy moms” (me, I’m one of them)
Every so often, i catch my mum making stupid statements about boys being boys, but then i point out her son wouldn’t behave like that, to which she says that doesnt count as bro isn’t likd other boys. No sh*t mum, because you and dad didn’t raise him that way, and you shouldn’t accept other parents raising misogynistic boys. My bro isn’t misogynistic because his parents weren’t. Thats the point. If all boys were raised that way, we wouldn’t have this issue.
I got the ick so hard today when I gave my son a tiny dinosaur and he was happy and showed it to grandma who looked at it and said “Oh look it’s a girl dinosaur, she has pink on her head to be pretty for the boys”.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Whyyyyyyyyy????