Gaslighting/bullying. I question so much about who I am, other people’s intent, my validity and skills at even daily tasks, and my general knowledge on basically everything now.
Realizing someone you deeply cared about only valued what you could do for them, not who you are as a person. That quiet kind of betrayal hits deeper than most people expect.
Getting cheated on. Even though everyone knows it’s traumatic, it’s still even more traumatic than you can ever comprehend until it happens to you with someone you really love.
Having a workaholic parent who’s hardly ever home, and even when they do come home, they usually don’t really want to spend time doing anything with you—like a shared hobby, or even just watching TV shows together—so much as they’re keeping an eye on you.
Instills within you the notion that your time, your company, and your feelings are not worth prioritizing.
Being neurodivergent. It’s one thing to not know how your brain works, but it’s 10x worse when all the adults around you in your childhood have no clue how to handle you either
It may seem like a small thing at the time, but later on you find out you have no vocabulary for describing what you’re feeling, or you’re not even sure you’re feeling things at all
Being let go or fired from a job. Even if it’s on good terms and it’s due to something like downsizing or restructuring, you always sort of wonder why you weren’t worth fighting for and/or why your contributions didn’t matter as much as you thought they did.
I once had to continue to finish a contract for a final two months after I learned that they had replaced me. I had been there for years and had nothing but positive feedback and good performance reviews but they were moving in a different direction with the position and there was really nothing I could do about it other than grit my teeth and smile through meetings where they talked about future projects and other plans that included my replacement. It was rough. Having to show up and play nice and focus on doing my job for those final 2 months was actually harder than being let go to begin with.
Verbal and emotional abuse. I was in a previous relationship where emotional and verbal abuse were a problem but not physical. I think most people see physical abuse as traumatic but I still deal with mental health issues as a result of the abuse years ago.
It violates your fundamentally safe space. In my case it wasn’t even an intruder, it was my elderly downstairs tenant in my upstairs when I wasn’t expecting him. It scared the fuck out of me, and I didn’t feel safe in my home for months after.
Emotional abuse. Most ppl think physical abuse is the worst thing that could happen.. In my experience emotional abuse hit wayy harder & is more intense specifically bc people can’t see the scars it leaves.
It’s more insidious & harder to indentify/explain to others until it’s really bad. I’ve experienced both & the emotional abuse has always been more painful than anything physical
Saving someone’s life. I remember saving my cousin from drowning like 15 years ago and for years I would get anxious thinking what if I couldn’t save him.
Watching your parents slowly get old. The little changes pile up, and one day you realize they’re not as strong as they used to be. It messes with you more than you’d think.
Narcissistic abuse that slowly gets worse over the years, it’s the kind of abuse that you don’t notice at first until you just feel worthless. The more comfortable the person gets, the more you love them, the more they think they can get away with. The constant gaslighting, lying and just mistreatment messes with your head pretty bad. Months after my break up and I’m still trying to build myself mental state back up.
Strict parenting. It often make you ask for validation for everything you want to do because you’re afraid that you won’t do something right and it drastically affects social skills
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bullying
Getting into a car accident. Doesn’t have to be anything major, but I’ve been in two and I’m honestly not looking forward to learning how to drive
long term loneliness especially when you’re a child
Seeing someone die
Death of a pet.
getting evicted, especially through no fault of your own (landlord wants to move in)
Being falsely accused of some fucked up shit
Homelessness is much more than a state of residence.
Intensive surgery
Neglect as a child. You carry it your whole life.
Miscarriage 😭
Gaslighting/bullying. I question so much about who I am, other people’s intent, my validity and skills at even daily tasks, and my general knowledge on basically everything now.
I have an awesome therapist though
being the “smart kid” growing up and realizing it was just undiagnosed anxiety
Being cheated on…
being the joke of a friend group
Realizing someone you deeply cared about only valued what you could do for them, not who you are as a person. That quiet kind of betrayal hits deeper than most people expect.
Heartbreak from betrayal
Divorce
Having to distance yourself from your family to keep your own sanity. In other words, setting boundaries.
Poverty
Being abused as a child. Some of us never get over it, and I don’t know how the others do to deal with it.
Humiliation from parent
Getting cheated on. Even though everyone knows it’s traumatic, it’s still even more traumatic than you can ever comprehend until it happens to you with someone you really love.
Losing a job unexpectedly can mess with your self worth brush it off like it’s normal but it’s a real trauma
Having someone you love in agony begging you for help and there being nothing you can do to help them.
Having a workaholic parent who’s hardly ever home, and even when they do come home, they usually don’t really want to spend time doing anything with you—like a shared hobby, or even just watching TV shows together—so much as they’re keeping an eye on you.
Instills within you the notion that your time, your company, and your feelings are not worth prioritizing.
Repeated Failure
Yeah sure, lemme just try again after my entire self-worth and confidence has been shattered.
Being neurodivergent. It’s one thing to not know how your brain works, but it’s 10x worse when all the adults around you in your childhood have no clue how to handle you either
Taking care of a parent with Dementia/Alzheimer’s.
Pregnancy and childbirth.
Financial insecurity, losing an elderly parent, never be included or bullied as a child.
Kidney stones
Depression/anxiety. I don’t think people truly understand what it’s like unless they’ve been through it
Having to choose which parent will have custody of you. It is a terrible and heartbreaking thing to ask of a child.
Finding a spider in your underwear when you take it off to go shower.
Eating problems
Being around people who constantly criticize everything about you
Chronic illness. The duration of it and the things you need to overcome are fucking traumatic
Disability
A bad boss or a toxic work place.
The end of a friendship.
Emotional invalidation as a child.
It may seem like a small thing at the time, but later on you find out you have no vocabulary for describing what you’re feeling, or you’re not even sure you’re feeling things at all
Parents with severe depression/mental illness.
Medical gaslighting. Doctors treating you like trash when you have chronic, terminal illnesses and get pissy when you try and advocate for yourself.
PTSD in any form
Being sick with an “invisible illness”. I’ve spent months in a hospital bed. Surgery is scary when they wheel you into the cold, sterile bright room.
Insomnia
Being in a long term relationship and finding out you were cheated on the whole time.
Being let go or fired from a job. Even if it’s on good terms and it’s due to something like downsizing or restructuring, you always sort of wonder why you weren’t worth fighting for and/or why your contributions didn’t matter as much as you thought they did.
I once had to continue to finish a contract for a final two months after I learned that they had replaced me. I had been there for years and had nothing but positive feedback and good performance reviews but they were moving in a different direction with the position and there was really nothing I could do about it other than grit my teeth and smile through meetings where they talked about future projects and other plans that included my replacement. It was rough. Having to show up and play nice and focus on doing my job for those final 2 months was actually harder than being let go to begin with.
Having no money and bills continuously overdrafting your account
A lot of yelling growing up, even if you weren’t the one being yelled at.
Being gaslighted by someone you trusted. It’s like your reality gets twisted, and that kind of emotional trauma sticks way longer than people expect
Verbal and emotional abuse. I was in a previous relationship where emotional and verbal abuse were a problem but not physical. I think most people see physical abuse as traumatic but I still deal with mental health issues as a result of the abuse years ago.
Having an intruder in your home.
It violates your fundamentally safe space. In my case it wasn’t even an intruder, it was my elderly downstairs tenant in my upstairs when I wasn’t expecting him. It scared the fuck out of me, and I didn’t feel safe in my home for months after.
Working in a Covid unit during the height of COVID
Being taught an unhealthy view of body image when you’re young. Can lead to a lifetime of body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
Death of a spouse, especially if you had to make the decision to take them off life support.
Emotional abuse. Most ppl think physical abuse is the worst thing that could happen.. In my experience emotional abuse hit wayy harder & is more intense specifically bc people can’t see the scars it leaves.
It’s more insidious & harder to indentify/explain to others until it’s really bad. I’ve experienced both & the emotional abuse has always been more painful than anything physical
Saving someone’s life. I remember saving my cousin from drowning like 15 years ago and for years I would get anxious thinking what if I couldn’t save him.
being significantly obese your entire life
Watching your parents slowly get old. The little changes pile up, and one day you realize they’re not as strong as they used to be. It messes with you more than you’d think.
Narcissistic abuse that slowly gets worse over the years, it’s the kind of abuse that you don’t notice at first until you just feel worthless. The more comfortable the person gets, the more you love them, the more they think they can get away with. The constant gaslighting, lying and just mistreatment messes with your head pretty bad. Months after my break up and I’m still trying to build myself mental state back up.
Strict parenting. It often make you ask for validation for everything you want to do because you’re afraid that you won’t do something right and it drastically affects social skills