I’m not sure if I’m being the asshole here or being unreasonable. Long story short me and my girlfriend have been together for about six years and we have two kids together. Social media used to be a huge issue with her and she was always calling me out about things she didn’t like and I would get rid of it or people shouldn’t like and I would get rid of them. I’ve never really cared too much or look at her page very often so I never brought up any issues except for recently within the past couple months some “old guy” probably in his late 50s if I had to guess has been on literally every single thing she posts and he has to comment on it and he has to like it and he’s usually the first one on everything she posts so it’s to me it gives like stalker weirdo vibes. She says she doesn’t even really know him except for back in the day they had mutual friends and they all used to party. No part of me feels threatened by him in anyway in my opinion is extremely goofy and I’ve never had any issues with me and my girlfriend like that so it’s not like in a sexual way or be worrying about cheating it’s more of just feeling disrespected. I’ve told her countless times so I think is a weirdo because all he posts about on his page is sex and masturbating memes 90% of the stuff he post is sexual in some type of way so I told her at this point it’s extremely weird and she kind of just brushed it off and told me I was being “insecure” which is crazy to me after all these years of her telling me to get rid of this girl or get rid of that girl. 100% honesty I wanted her to get rid of this guy because it truly gives me stalker vibes. I guess ultimately I wanna know am I being unreasonable for thinking that and she’s continued to keep him on her page and then just this morning she posted something and he commented on it and then she laughed reacted to his comment so I just feel like at this point it’s just disrespectful to me because without words you’re still communicating with somebody back-and-forth. This sounds so stupid but to me it’s just the principal and it’s such a simple thing to fix in my opinion if somebody doesn’t matter to you.
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What’s “reasonable” once you have kids is to remove every area of potential relationship friction so you don’t endanger your children’s familial emotional support system. It’s not like she’s sexting this guy, just enjoying the feedback of him following her online. So this probably comes down to you feeling there’s a double standard since she so closely polices your social media. The solution here probably comes down to both of you agreeing to just ignore what the other does on these platforms. Social media should never have so much influence on your real lives.
You are being irrational. Why do you care who she is friends with on social media. It’s her choice. Get over the so-called disrespect. He doesn’t owe you anything.
I think you should add all those people back and see what she does. She’s projecting. She doesn’t want you doing what she’s doing.
So this creep older weirdo is suddenly following your GF, worse if she’s flirting with him responding to him and she completely brushes off your concerns but at the same time has made you block women. Next time tell her your not going to block a women following you on social. If she complains then she has double standards. Just hope she is not directly communicating with this older guy, hopefully he is not her sugar daddy.
There’s a power struggle going on here. You can’t force her to block the guy. You might follow some people that she doesn’t like, and maybe do some trades. That’s one way of dealing with the double standard.
Ultimately, though, having a power struggle in a relationship is a bad sign. Either one of you concedes the high ground, or else you break up.
She should just remove him. His is irrelevant so shouldnt be an issue for her to just get rid of him.
If he’s a stalker unfriending or blocking him won’t matter. I do think the guy is weird, but I also think this is a nonissue.
As for you getting rid of people for her I don’t think it entitles her to do the same unless there was an agreement to do so between the both of you.
Communicating alone isn’t disrespectful. The type of communication is what makes it disrespectful.
Maybe you’d argue that if the the roles were reversed she’d be upset.
Maybe she would be upset, but you also wouldn’t be disrespectful based on what you wrote. You’d just have to decide if you wanted to delete the other woman for her.
Personally I wouldn’t do it, but I wouldn’t be the one at risk of losing a gf so you have to decide which battles you want to fight.