Before me, there was a girl that he loved. She’s everything: beautiful, comes from a good family, and someone who got his first “I love you.” We went to a dinner party together, and she was there. They talked for a while, laughing and they looked so perfect standing next to each other. At that point of our relationship, I knew he wasn’t over her. After that, we got into an argument in the car.
I sometimes still think of her. She’s everything I’m not.
I think the meanest thing I ever said was that he (my ex) was a joke. In big capital letters. I regretted saying it later and I think it was one of the things that led to our breakup. I knew he was quite sensitive so I never tried to go too far even when I was very upset, but I guess I did.
But now I would definitely say he’s a joke after all he put me through.
Around 2 years ago, my husband was in the thick of his addiction. His addiction (among other things) led to us being homeless living in motels, struggling in every single way, and I resented the hell out of him. (Regret #1, he was sick and needed help, and I didn’t fully understand addiction. I should have been more understanding and I still hate myself today for it)
One morning, I woke up and he was gone. I had found some drug related items and at the time I was under the impression that he wasn’t using. I lost my shit when he got back. We had a huge explosive fight. Things were said on both sides, but thing that I will never, EVER forgive myself for was me saying “You’re nothing but a druggie.” (Even typing this makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up)
After that fight we decided we were done, and planned on getting a divorce. We separated and everything. But he got clean and we couldn’t imagine being without each other. I still apologize to him for what I said that morning to this day.
Told him he should pay me back for the food he wasn’t going to eat because I warned him at the restaurant that he wasn’t going to like it and I was right.
He was already upset about not liking the food, and he was trying to explore new things, but we were short on money, so I snapped on him, and that was incredibly shitty of me.
I don’t know that it was necessarily mean, but it’s something I think about a lot. An ex partner of mine, we were 28f/30m at the time, he was talking about growing his career in sales and making x dollars (let’s say $500k I don’t remember) in referencing another senior rep. My reply was something in the tune of yeah right, that’s impossible. He called me out on it at the time, as he should have. Really my reaction came more from a place of projection. My own limiting mindset, and not having the kind of upbringing that encouraged me to go for my dreams. This was almost 10 years ago & I’ve learned how important it is to be your own and your partners biggest supporter. I want to be surrounded by dreamers, with ambition and working hard to get there!
I don’t think I’ve *said* anything mean. But I regret locking him out the bedroom once cus he was out late.
I mean, our sofa is more comfortable than the bed, we have a guestroom etc., I at least let him in the house lol. But… it was mean and hurtful. I have since apologised for that.
I resent you.
There is no future with you.
I don’t fuck with idiots.
I was angry during these times, I felt like I had the right to be angry, so I had the right to be hurtful. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it honestly seemed like it kicked him in the right direction to start making changes, so I hope.
Honestly we just don’t really say truly mean or deeply hurtful things to each other and rarely argue, but I do regret yelling ‘Fuck off!’ when I was incredibly pissed off about something and also beyond exhausted sometime in the past week. I know it came off as quite harsh, more to do with my tone than the words themselves (even though ‘fuck off’ is pretty rude).
The first time my ex ever cooked dinner for us (we’d already been living together for 3 years) he made a rice bowl, and after I took the first bite I asked, “did you even taste this?” because the rice was not cooked, at all.
He threw a fit about how I didn’t appreciate anything he does for me. Swore he’d never ever cook again (he made good on that promise) and held it against me for years. I felt awful.
a lot of these replies say something about how their mean words actually pushed their SO towards improving. i always get hung up on this whenever this kinda stuff is talked about but it seems like saying mean things can actually be the best course of action sometimes? so in all situations, is it wrong to say hurtful things to someone you love? or are there exceptions?
My best friend’s dad died relatively close to when my ex and I split for good. She made this memento box for me of him. The guy was like a second dad to me. It was really sweet. When I went over to get it – the visit became largely something else. Later on, in a fight, I accused her of creating that box and that visit just to lure me back in so she could slam the door in my face harder / hurt me worse.
It really hurt her.
I believe what she did was sweet and well intentioned but I absolutely do believe there was secondary gain to be had from it and she used it when she realized it.
I still regret ever saying it though. So much stuff I never said – I should have just added that to the list.
About 10 years ago during an intense argument I slipped “man up”. I still regret it. Men are just as emotional as us women and deserve to have their feelings respected as much as we do. No one knows what people are going through in their own heads. I’ll never say that again to anyone.
Tell him the intricates about past relationships… as I’ve gotten older I realized your significant other does not need to know every detail about you especially past relationships it brings up insecurities and ways they can hurt you later on… Even if you swear this is the most genuine person it’s human nature and eventually it will get brought up in the future… Save those conversations for close friends or someone you can vent to
I’d just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and met this guy from my old high-school.
We’d been out for a day date, everything was going awesome. We came back to mine and we were getting frisky. I unzipped him, saw his penis, zipped him back up and said: “I’ve spent the last 5 years in a sexually unsatisfactory relationship, I’m sorry but I can’t do this.”
And I drove him home.
It’s the cruelest thing I’ve ever done. It was 100% selfish and if there ever comes a judgement day for me, this will be my deepest regret.
For about 2 weeks I was begging my ex for attention in the bedroom..a hand on my leg a cuddle whatever..the next day was a Friday night he text me he was leaving work and did i need anything..I answered w “ill never ask you for anything ever again”..he moved out the next Tuesday 🙄 I regret that text every day since that day but I suppose it was meant to be
When we were both professional artists, I once told him he wasn’t as good as me. Maybe it was sort of true in some ways, but it wasn’t true in lots of other ways.
More importantly, I had the arrogance, selfishness and immaturity to do what other wiser artist couples had warned me not to. And I learned, so I’m warning others:
Don’t critique your SO’s work. If you’re not the boss, director, supervisor, or otherwise, it aint your business. And if you ARE their boss, change things, cuz that’s not an ethical position to be in.
Saying I didn’t really like the dish he made. I tried not to, but he noticed I was taking even longer than usual to finish my food, and I ended up not finishing it because I was ‘kinda full’. He made butter chicken, and I’ll be honest it didn’t really taste like it and it was kinda odd to me ahah..
He always says I’m the better cook, but I just follow recipes… He’s more of a ‘wing it’ person. But I didn’t want to say anything bad to discourage him from cooking more. I mean, I know how indirectly hurtful it is for someone to say they don’t like your dish even if it’s just personal preference!
I don’t really care about you like that, but I would definitely keep hooking up with you
Omg it’s not that deep, you’re being dramatic
You’re not someone I would like to formally date
You’re never meeting my parents, you’re fun to be around, but they wouldn’t approve
Baby I know you’re not that smart
Not really, I got it for almost everyone I know (after he asked me if I gave him a souvenir gift because he was special)
A “breakup” text to a 2 year situationship on New Years saying that it was fun but I didn’t really want to see him anymore
Probably a lot more, I regret it but because I didn’t say those things to hurt them, it was because i genuinely didn’t think they cared as they were FWB and not boyfriends
I told my fiancé (now ex) that she was a neglectful parent for letting her kids sit on tablets for 10 hours. I feel like I could have said it better but I don’t feel that I was wrong.
Wasn’t mean but true: “If we were friends you wouldn’t have made the list”
This was part of a message sent to my abusive ex husband about how I’ve been cutting people out of my life. The only reason I even speak to him is to coparent. He still tries to blame me for him abusing me.
He told his friend about a passionate project of mine that I been working on for a while. No one knew except us. I been working on it day and night.
I envisioned telling my parents about it first after i finished it to surprise them. So when he told his friend before I got to tell my parents I was mad!! I said he doesn’t understand the magnitude of what he did wrong and he said it doesn’t matter. I said well your parents aren’t here but mine are.
I loved his parents. I miss them. I was just so deeply upset that he took away something from me that I wanted my parents to know first in the world. It was my secret and my accomplishment that I wanted to shout out.
Regardless, it wasnt the kindest moment of mine though. I regret it.
i once told my dad “Wow, you still pray to God?” this was a long time ago and I cried whenever i remember that incident. He used to be a bad person, but he has changed. I still feel guilty. I love my Dad
“Fine. Do what you like. If you die, then you die, and I won’t mourn you.”
No, they didn’t die, but it was an overly harsh thing to say at the time. I should have just broken up rather than get to that point of frustration with their extremely casual attitude to risk. I’m a lot older and wiser now, but as a teenager I didn’t take nearly as much care with my words.
Made a comment on a specific part of their body in the heat of a moment because I was upset and I regret it constantly because it wasn’t necessary I was just angry and wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt me.
“I’m sure you would not be happy if your daughter chose a partner like her daddy..”He was indeed, not happy about both the statement and imagining his daughter with someone like him haha, what an ass.. so thankful I’m out of that!
You are no man, no protector. He had a tattoo about him being a protector. But he abandoned me during a hard time I was going through and told me he felt like we were incompatible(which hurt me more than anything I could’ve said to him)
Also told him I wish we had never met. That he wasted 2 years of my life. I honestly could say more hurtful things but we weren’t toxic and actually cared for each other.
In the middle of a fight, I came out and said he only married me because his mother was dying of cancer, and he wanted her to see him get married.
It cut deep and he has brought it up a handful of times in our 14 years of marriage as something awful I’ve said.
In truth, I deeply regret saying it, but privately… I do know there’s a bit of truth to it. I think we would have gotten married regardless, but because of his mother’s sickness, I’m sure it pushed him to propose sooner than he would have otherwise. We had a very short engagement and married 3-4 months after.
I jokingly called my ex a “big fat curly haired fu(k” like from step brothers. He didn’t laugh and I felt bad. I had to show him the reference and then he chuckled.
“I’m calling our wedding off because I’m not the type of woman for you and you’re not in line with the expectations I have from my husband. I want someone who can offer me a better life standard and who is more educated than you are. Your friend, the cashier, is a better match for you than I am*.
I was out of my mind to even say that. The guy never hurt me and did not deserve such harsh treatment which I cruelly confused with honesty. I’m forever in debt to this man.
Comments
To my boyfriend: “I know you still love her.”
Before me, there was a girl that he loved. She’s everything: beautiful, comes from a good family, and someone who got his first “I love you.” We went to a dinner party together, and she was there. They talked for a while, laughing and they looked so perfect standing next to each other. At that point of our relationship, I knew he wasn’t over her. After that, we got into an argument in the car.
I sometimes still think of her. She’s everything I’m not.
I think the meanest thing I ever said was that he (my ex) was a joke. In big capital letters. I regretted saying it later and I think it was one of the things that led to our breakup. I knew he was quite sensitive so I never tried to go too far even when I was very upset, but I guess I did.
But now I would definitely say he’s a joke after all he put me through.
[removed]
I should have been meaner tbh
Most of things I say on redit.
But I don’t regret them.
I identify as female.
Tbh, I wish I was meaner
“you’re family thinks you’re a lost cause” i regret it everyday but it’s made me very aware of what to say and not say when you’re angry
I told him that we should break up because he couldn’t please me.
😞
I used to have a drinking problem. I’ve said some wild things. So I’ve heard.
Around 2 years ago, my husband was in the thick of his addiction. His addiction (among other things) led to us being homeless living in motels, struggling in every single way, and I resented the hell out of him. (Regret #1, he was sick and needed help, and I didn’t fully understand addiction. I should have been more understanding and I still hate myself today for it)
One morning, I woke up and he was gone. I had found some drug related items and at the time I was under the impression that he wasn’t using. I lost my shit when he got back. We had a huge explosive fight. Things were said on both sides, but thing that I will never, EVER forgive myself for was me saying “You’re nothing but a druggie.” (Even typing this makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up)
After that fight we decided we were done, and planned on getting a divorce. We separated and everything. But he got clean and we couldn’t imagine being without each other. I still apologize to him for what I said that morning to this day.
Today he celebrates 1 year and 3 months sober. ❤️
Told him he should pay me back for the food he wasn’t going to eat because I warned him at the restaurant that he wasn’t going to like it and I was right.
He was already upset about not liking the food, and he was trying to explore new things, but we were short on money, so I snapped on him, and that was incredibly shitty of me.
I told him he wasted 4 years of my life but honestly I wish I had been meaner
“You deserve more than I can give you.” He in fact deserved less
“You ruined my life.”
“I would have never gotten with you if I loved myself” which was true but maybe a lil rude considering we stayed together 😭
I don’t know that it was necessarily mean, but it’s something I think about a lot. An ex partner of mine, we were 28f/30m at the time, he was talking about growing his career in sales and making x dollars (let’s say $500k I don’t remember) in referencing another senior rep. My reply was something in the tune of yeah right, that’s impossible. He called me out on it at the time, as he should have. Really my reaction came more from a place of projection. My own limiting mindset, and not having the kind of upbringing that encouraged me to go for my dreams. This was almost 10 years ago & I’ve learned how important it is to be your own and your partners biggest supporter. I want to be surrounded by dreamers, with ambition and working hard to get there!
I don’t think I’ve *said* anything mean. But I regret locking him out the bedroom once cus he was out late.
I mean, our sofa is more comfortable than the bed, we have a guestroom etc., I at least let him in the house lol. But… it was mean and hurtful. I have since apologised for that.
[removed]
[removed]
[removed]
I resent you.
There is no future with you.
I don’t fuck with idiots.
I was angry during these times, I felt like I had the right to be angry, so I had the right to be hurtful. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it honestly seemed like it kicked him in the right direction to start making changes, so I hope.
so scared to say! i was so mean, but called immediately after and profusely apologized
Honestly I’ve always taken the high road and with my last ex I wish I was a little meaner and crashed out
Honestly we just don’t really say truly mean or deeply hurtful things to each other and rarely argue, but I do regret yelling ‘Fuck off!’ when I was incredibly pissed off about something and also beyond exhausted sometime in the past week. I know it came off as quite harsh, more to do with my tone than the words themselves (even though ‘fuck off’ is pretty rude).
The first time my ex ever cooked dinner for us (we’d already been living together for 3 years) he made a rice bowl, and after I took the first bite I asked, “did you even taste this?” because the rice was not cooked, at all.
He threw a fit about how I didn’t appreciate anything he does for me. Swore he’d never ever cook again (he made good on that promise) and held it against me for years. I felt awful.
I should’ve been meaner to him.
You’re too ugly to treat me like this
[removed]
a lot of these replies say something about how their mean words actually pushed their SO towards improving. i always get hung up on this whenever this kinda stuff is talked about but it seems like saying mean things can actually be the best course of action sometimes? so in all situations, is it wrong to say hurtful things to someone you love? or are there exceptions?
I told him he was a cancer in my life and a shit stain on the planet. No regrets though.. He deserved worse
Probably when I said ‘I don’t need anyone’… then cried myself to sleep missing people I pretend don’t matter 🥲
We were ordering food. I told him that you should order because clearly I don’t have a good taste :v
I was mad at him at sth that he has done.
I told him he was worse than his father ever was.
[removed]
Probably “I hate you, drop dead”
My best friend’s dad died relatively close to when my ex and I split for good. She made this memento box for me of him. The guy was like a second dad to me. It was really sweet. When I went over to get it – the visit became largely something else. Later on, in a fight, I accused her of creating that box and that visit just to lure me back in so she could slam the door in my face harder / hurt me worse.
It really hurt her.
I believe what she did was sweet and well intentioned but I absolutely do believe there was secondary gain to be had from it and she used it when she realized it.
I still regret ever saying it though. So much stuff I never said – I should have just added that to the list.
About 10 years ago during an intense argument I slipped “man up”. I still regret it. Men are just as emotional as us women and deserve to have their feelings respected as much as we do. No one knows what people are going through in their own heads. I’ll never say that again to anyone.
[removed]
Tell him the intricates about past relationships… as I’ve gotten older I realized your significant other does not need to know every detail about you especially past relationships it brings up insecurities and ways they can hurt you later on… Even if you swear this is the most genuine person it’s human nature and eventually it will get brought up in the future… Save those conversations for close friends or someone you can vent to
It’s so real that the common theme here is should have been meaner
He wasn’t my SO.
I’d just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and met this guy from my old high-school.
We’d been out for a day date, everything was going awesome. We came back to mine and we were getting frisky. I unzipped him, saw his penis, zipped him back up and said: “I’ve spent the last 5 years in a sexually unsatisfactory relationship, I’m sorry but I can’t do this.”
And I drove him home.
It’s the cruelest thing I’ve ever done. It was 100% selfish and if there ever comes a judgement day for me, this will be my deepest regret.
I could have found a way to be nicer.
[removed]
For about 2 weeks I was begging my ex for attention in the bedroom..a hand on my leg a cuddle whatever..the next day was a Friday night he text me he was leaving work and did i need anything..I answered w “ill never ask you for anything ever again”..he moved out the next Tuesday 🙄 I regret that text every day since that day but I suppose it was meant to be
When we were both professional artists, I once told him he wasn’t as good as me. Maybe it was sort of true in some ways, but it wasn’t true in lots of other ways.
More importantly, I had the arrogance, selfishness and immaturity to do what other wiser artist couples had warned me not to. And I learned, so I’m warning others:
Don’t critique your SO’s work. If you’re not the boss, director, supervisor, or otherwise, it aint your business. And if you ARE their boss, change things, cuz that’s not an ethical position to be in.
Saying I didn’t really like the dish he made. I tried not to, but he noticed I was taking even longer than usual to finish my food, and I ended up not finishing it because I was ‘kinda full’. He made butter chicken, and I’ll be honest it didn’t really taste like it and it was kinda odd to me ahah..
He always says I’m the better cook, but I just follow recipes… He’s more of a ‘wing it’ person. But I didn’t want to say anything bad to discourage him from cooking more. I mean, I know how indirectly hurtful it is for someone to say they don’t like your dish even if it’s just personal preference!
I was rude and overly mean but learned from it
My not so nice moments:
I don’t really care about you like that, but I would definitely keep hooking up with you
Omg it’s not that deep, you’re being dramatic
You’re not someone I would like to formally date
You’re never meeting my parents, you’re fun to be around, but they wouldn’t approve
Baby I know you’re not that smart
Not really, I got it for almost everyone I know (after he asked me if I gave him a souvenir gift because he was special)
A “breakup” text to a 2 year situationship on New Years saying that it was fun but I didn’t really want to see him anymore
Probably a lot more, I regret it but because I didn’t say those things to hurt them, it was because i genuinely didn’t think they cared as they were FWB and not boyfriends
I told my fiancé (now ex) that she was a neglectful parent for letting her kids sit on tablets for 10 hours. I feel like I could have said it better but I don’t feel that I was wrong.
[removed]
[removed]
[removed]
Wasn’t mean but true: “If we were friends you wouldn’t have made the list”
This was part of a message sent to my abusive ex husband about how I’ve been cutting people out of my life. The only reason I even speak to him is to coparent. He still tries to blame me for him abusing me.
He told his friend about a passionate project of mine that I been working on for a while. No one knew except us. I been working on it day and night.
I envisioned telling my parents about it first after i finished it to surprise them. So when he told his friend before I got to tell my parents I was mad!! I said he doesn’t understand the magnitude of what he did wrong and he said it doesn’t matter. I said well your parents aren’t here but mine are.
I loved his parents. I miss them. I was just so deeply upset that he took away something from me that I wanted my parents to know first in the world. It was my secret and my accomplishment that I wanted to shout out.
Regardless, it wasnt the kindest moment of mine though. I regret it.
i once told my dad “Wow, you still pray to God?” this was a long time ago and I cried whenever i remember that incident. He used to be a bad person, but he has changed. I still feel guilty. I love my Dad
[removed]
“Fine. Do what you like. If you die, then you die, and I won’t mourn you.”
No, they didn’t die, but it was an overly harsh thing to say at the time. I should have just broken up rather than get to that point of frustration with their extremely casual attitude to risk. I’m a lot older and wiser now, but as a teenager I didn’t take nearly as much care with my words.
[removed]
I don’t regret a goddamn thing, it was all true then and it’s still true now!
Made a comment on a specific part of their body in the heat of a moment because I was upset and I regret it constantly because it wasn’t necessary I was just angry and wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt me.
I told myself now-ex that he was a disappointment. While drunk. In front of his mother. That will forever stay with me.
“I’m sure you would not be happy if your daughter chose a partner like her daddy..”He was indeed, not happy about both the statement and imagining his daughter with someone like him haha, what an ass.. so thankful I’m out of that!
You are no man, no protector. He had a tattoo about him being a protector. But he abandoned me during a hard time I was going through and told me he felt like we were incompatible(which hurt me more than anything I could’ve said to him)
Also told him I wish we had never met. That he wasted 2 years of my life. I honestly could say more hurtful things but we weren’t toxic and actually cared for each other.
NoRegerts
In the middle of a fight, I came out and said he only married me because his mother was dying of cancer, and he wanted her to see him get married.
It cut deep and he has brought it up a handful of times in our 14 years of marriage as something awful I’ve said.
In truth, I deeply regret saying it, but privately… I do know there’s a bit of truth to it. I think we would have gotten married regardless, but because of his mother’s sickness, I’m sure it pushed him to propose sooner than he would have otherwise. We had a very short engagement and married 3-4 months after.
I yelled “you need a pill!” mid intimacy to my ex who refused to acknowledge or address his erectile dysfunction lol
I jokingly called my ex a “big fat curly haired fu(k” like from step brothers. He didn’t laugh and I felt bad. I had to show him the reference and then he chuckled.
We didn’t last hahah.
I regret nothing – everything I’ve ever said was justified
“I’m calling our wedding off because I’m not the type of woman for you and you’re not in line with the expectations I have from my husband. I want someone who can offer me a better life standard and who is more educated than you are. Your friend, the cashier, is a better match for you than I am*.
I was out of my mind to even say that. The guy never hurt me and did not deserve such harsh treatment which I cruelly confused with honesty. I’m forever in debt to this man.