What is something your mother raised you to believe or follow that you would never teach your daughter?
What is something your mother raised you to believe or follow that you would never teach your daughter?
r/AskWomen
What is something your mother raised you to believe or follow that you would never teach your daughter?
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Number one hands down: religion. I was raised in a christian family and have been an atheist since my early 20s. My husband is the same, and we’re gonna raise our kids away from religion.
Also so much of that 90s “you need to be beautiful and thin above all else” crap. “Beauty requires suffering”, “stop eating that or you’re gonna get fat”, etc.
That i shouldn’t do sports because people only care about men’s sports. I should do artsy stuff instead.
“Don’t speak up, it’s disrespectful.”
Yeah, no. My daughter will know that her voice matters, and she should stand up for herself. Even if it makes others uncomfortable. Respect goes both ways.
The pressure to have kids and that your family (children) are your number one priority and social outlet.
To always agree with my dad and trust his advice fully and to find somebody like him. Nope! My dad steered me wrong to many times and he’s emotionally abusive. I will never be treated poorly or disrespected by anybody.
To be passive in a relationship and not to communicate openly. And all that bs about how woman is „supposed to be/seem unattainable and mysterious“.
In my relationship we both communicate openly, discuss our issues right away and never treat each other with silence. I‘m absolutely sure these are absolute basics that make a loving relationship.
You can never be too rich or too thin.
Yes, yes, you absolutely can and it’s not ok.
That I have to accept toxicity to keep some people in life.
I’m not saying we should be only expecting healthy relationships all the time but I wish someone told me it’s absolutely ok to walk away from giant red flags.
Religion
Negative self-talk
I’m childfree so grain of salt… But answering if I were to hypothetically become a parent of a daughter.
My mom was pretty progressive, and my younger sister and I have both talked about how we think her sex positivity went way too far for our ages at the time, actually introducing and encouraging sexual activity much younger than we may have done on our own. Hindsight is 20/20 so who knows, but we both were given condoms and a green light at age 13. Both consequently had sexual experiences much younger than we like looking back on it. And in the end, many decades later, we both made it out of those experiences without STDs and teen pregnancies, so maybe she was right?
I only think that progressiveness could’ve waited a couple more years, and could’ve come along with more discussion on the emotional and social impacts of being sexually active very young, rather than hyper focused on the medical nuts and bolts side. And some advice that steered us both away from getting involved with older boys would’ve been nice too. Took us both onto our 20s and 30s to realize how many predators we got involved with not knowing we were getting groomed since Mom didn’t care, as long as we used condoms.
If a boy asks you on a date and you’re not really that into him, say yes anyway. Maybe you’ll like his friend.
That being strong means not crying or expressing emotions
That feelings don’t really matter. She always told me that if I was being billing but it was only verbally/emotionally that it didn’t matter because it doesn’t count. The only time it counts is if someone is hurting you physically. This has lead to me just accepting verbal and emotional abuse from basically anyone, and I’m trying to unlearn it, but it’s hard.
Don’t constantly talk about how fat I am or dieting.
Im not having children overall but I wouldn’t force them to go to church tbh. I also would not tell her my body is ugly and not to end up like me, I love my mom, she is my role model, I hate when she puts herself down.
Belittling her to make her feel less than. Rude and negative comments so she feels insecure about herself.
If she has negative feelings towards someone in her life and wants to talk to them about it, to just leave it rather.
“You have to take care of your siblings, it’s practice for when you become a mother.”
“If you continue to dress that way, you will get assaulted.”
“It doesn’t matter what he does, the Bible says you’re not supposed to divorce your partner.”
getting a husband is extremely important.
i’d rather have a flourishing career & great friends lol
“If he’s mean to you, it means he likes you,” thanks for making sure I equate mistreatment and abuse with love from an early age.
“Put some clothes on. Your (insert male, but never female, relative or family friend here) is coming over,” thanks for making sure I know I’m not even safe in my own home by bringing in men you yourself don’t trust to see a childs legs.
“Oh that’s just how grandma/grandpa are,” thanks for standing up for people you swore you’d never be like.
“We’re going to the family reunion, stay away from (insert pedo here)” thanks for making sure I know familial bonds are worth more than my safety.
“Never start a sentence with ‘I’. No man likes a shallow woman who only talks about herself. ‘I’ statements are not humble enough to attract a man.”
Like, what?! What does that even mean? And yes, she did enforce it. I was not allowed to say a sentence like this one in her presence.
Body shaming me when I was literally a size 0 pre teen/teenager & all overweight/bigger people she’d see in public she’d make comments about. I don’t want kids but if I did I’d never do that. It gave me awful body dysmorphia
that even just a little bit of competition is necessary
just because i clap for you that doesn’t mean that i don’t clap for myself too
That girls should behave and be submissive wherever they go, especially to minimise who they are as an individual. Fuck that.
You don’t have to be nice and polite to everyone. Especially if they are making you uncomfortable.
Shame about my body.
Greet your relatives with a kiss. No thank you!
“Women should not be president because they’re emotional. “
Fuck all the way off.
“Don’t tell your boyfriend / husband you’re feeling unattractive*. He’ll agree and look for other women.”
*applies to anything from menstrual bloat or spot outbreaks, right up to a period of feeling depressed.
“If a boy teases or bullies you, then that means he likes you”
Nah – it makes him an asshole and you don’t need to tolerate that crap, future daughter.
“Just because they make it in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it”
My foster mom was part of a general “vibe” in her Mormon church that women need to dress modestly so that men aren’t encouraged to commit rape.
No, Becky, I’m not going to make myself responsible for anybody else’s behavior. I got body-shamed a whole heckuva lot during the six years I was part of that family and their church. It didn’t matter how modestly I dressed.
And you know what? Out of all the people in that church, that foster mom is the only one who ever committed any kind of borderline sexual abuse against me. So all the men were fine (except for the occasional leering and a couple of inappropriate comments.)
These days I’m perfectly fine wearing tops that are low cut or form fitting, and all the important men in my life have been absolutely respectful.
Unquestionable loyalty. My mom expected me always be on her side even when it wasn’t fair to ask me to be and even if she was wrong.
Slices of American cheese in tacos and cottage cheese instead of ricotta in lasagna.
My mother has spent her life wishing for a smaller frame. We have the same body type. I was growing into an identical frame to hers while watching her pick apart every part of her body. My daughter will never, ever see me talk down to myself like that
That women who are smart don’t “have time to care about their appearance”. She always made it seem like you had to make a choice between being pretty or smart. I’m going to raise my daughter to know that she can write a thesis with acrylic nails and a face full of makeup if she wants.
My mother was great, didn’t teach me anything that wasn’t valuable but one thing.
“People deserve forgiveness.”
Might be toxic on my end but my mom was an angel that got stepped on because she forgave too much.
That adults are always right, and you aren’t allowed to question them.
My mom was my first bully, and loved to tell me how ugly I was. That’s absolutely not getting taught to my child.
That boys bullying you means they like you.
That it’s normal for husbands to beat their wives, and it’s the wife’s fault.
I could go on… tldr; I’ve learned everything NOT to do as a parent.
Never let anyone know or see how they’ve made you feel.
Horrible. I can’t emote properly or convey my feelings or identify them properly. I hide out when things get turbulent. I run. I am an avoidant.
My mom suffered a lot of trauma and betrayal in her life, as have I now. I’m afraid it will be too difficult to undo.
If I ever have kids, they will be allowed to have all the emotions. Good, bad, in-between, and they’ll be taught how to voice them properly. I work on myself everyday.
I would never force my children to practice any religion unless they’ve decided they want to. And I’d keep them out of any religious schools so they don’t get brainwashed.
You’re not loveable if you’re not beautiful. But I can take care of myself because I’m a genius.
Don’t be smarter than the boys.
“Women aren’t meant to be leaders.”
I (35F) became the first doctor ever in our family.
that I should be ashamed of how my body looks. she’s very confused about why I developed an ed at 9 even though all I ever heard from her was how fat she was or how ugly her stomach was
That I’m fat and my stomach shouldnt look like that for someone my age. I was always skinny but she made me believe I was obese. My “stomach” is just my organs. I dont want kids but I would never project my insecurities onto a child. Its still very hard to unlearn
All the stuff about babies, thinking of course I would have them. She never explained any of it to my brother. Guess which one of us had kids, and was the stay at home parent to one of those kids? If you’re going to teach your kids anything, you teach it to everyone the same.
Anxiety gets work done.
Never invite yourself in someone else’s plans – if they didn’t invite you than they don’t want you there.
“If you don’t get a degree of some sort, you’ll end up working dead end minimum wage jobs not being respected by the rest of society.”
I don’t want my daughter being stuck doing a job she hates while also trying to pay off debt the next 5 or so years following. If she doesn’t want to go to college, that’s her choice & I’ll support her for it.
To not complain or seek help when I’m feeling unwell because nobody cares.
I probably over-mothered my kids when they were sick, but at least they knew they were cared for and got treatment promptly.
“having fat friends will turn you fat”
ironically, the woman herself was overweight, and I inherited HER GENES in that regard….and my “fat friend” at the time (we were 8) had legitimate health problems her whole life that made it difficult to regulate her weight.
I would never teach any child of mine to avoid being friends with someone due to their appearance. even back then, I understood how cruel that was.
My mom always held herself to a different standard.
She is overly critical of the way she looks, but always compliments me on how beautiful I am.
If there’s food shortage, she’ll give everyone else a huge serving, but take scraps for herself.
She won’t let me do extra chores when I’m tired, but do them herself when she’s even more tired.
She won’t take care of herself. Won’t go to the doctor. Won’t pursue hobbies. Won’t splurge on herself. Won’t give herself nice things.
I will raise my daughter by example.
I grew up hearing a lot of fantasies about romance, like soul mate stuff, believing you’d be with someone meant for you in many lifetimes…etc.
If I had a daughter I would raise her to believe that finding “the one” was more like an optional side quest and not something she needed to spend a portion of her life (or any of it, really) focused on that. My mom really did us a disservice filling our heads with romantic notions-not that life can’t be romantic, but it doesn’t need to talked about like life won’t be the same without your “one”.
When I told my mom I was having a girl she congratulated me on having a girl first because it makes having more children afterwards easier. While she didn’t explicitly say it, I know she meant that she believes eldest daughters taking on childcare responsibilities and chores are a perk which would lead to making it easier for me to have more children.
We are both eldest daughters. Meaning we were both brought up to serve our siblings and parents. Not something I plan on repeating with my kid.
Sex and relationships.
It was never talked about in anyway shape or form by my mother and if it was it was all shame and dirt.
Bought my children up very aware of the good and bad and ugly of sex and relationships.
I never made them feel ashamed to have sex or to be in the wrong relationship and I never made them feel dirty.
If my mother was here I’d say to her – Come on, be grown, suck a dick, be nasty – lol.
“Stay together for the children.” Uh, NO. Didn’t want my daughters to be raised thinking it was okay to be treated that way by a man.
“Women don’t like sex, it’s mainly for the men’s satisfaction.”
She taught me this as a little girl. It was obviously a lie since now we show off each other’s sex toys.
That if you want something you should make men think it’s their idea
This should be taught to the daughters and sons ~ people do not hit you or tease you or otherwise exhibit asshole behavior towards you because they like you.
Learn to compromise.
Family members being rude? Ignore
Partner being toxic? Sacrifice
Uncle being cynical, egotistical and a liar? Stay quiet
Why must we compromise and not stand up to the disrespect? Self-respect is important and it can’t be ignored.
There is a difference between compromising and understanding.
There is a difference between being open minded and close minded.
Diet fads, and more importantly your worth is held in your ability to get a happy ending. Grew up watching her marry men back to back and now that she’s given up on that she gets so emotional and victim vibes anytime she needs to be taken care of and it’s me helping instead of a man.
I followed her lead and now am getting divorced at 23. Will not be getting married again for years to come and will not be emphasizing men in my daughter’s life. And I’m not gonna let my kids watch Pg-13 movies while their brains are still sponges. I was watching and emulating rom coms from like 3 and being scared by transformers.
“No knowledge is better than a little knowledge. A little knowledge is dangerous.”
yeah i looked into where this came from:
turns out, the original was a love poem from the 1800s and it wasnt about literal knowledge, it was more about how if you love a little, you open yourself to having your heart broken or something
however, the meaning that my mother was using of telling me i shouldn’t talk about anything i am learning or not an expert in comes from anti-feminist propaganda from the 1910s, where men bastardised the words of the poem to use on their posters about why women shouldn’t be educated or be able to vote, because “an educated woman is a danger to society”
I don’t plan on having kids, but if i do, im not gonna feed them this weird 1910s misogynist propaganda. It basically discouraged me from doing anything i wasnt instantly good at and meant i could never talk to my mother about anything i was currently learning because i was discouraged from learning anything new
“ that hunger pains are your friend “ and that going on a date means you owe that man sex. I will teach neither one of those things to any of my children.
Being emo means there is something wrong with you. Not even close to true. I would never pass that along to anyone.
shouldn’t wear striped t-shirts at 10 years old as to not look extra pudgy!
That you should weigh yourself every day so that it wouldn’t get away from you. I was 5’3 and 100 pounds at the time. She obviously had her own issues, which I didn’t recognize at the time. The result of this fantastic advice was hospitalization for anorexia; and 40 years later, I still have body and food issues. Thanks Mom!
That I’m born to be married off to someone and to care for my in-laws.
That as women, you always need to be humble and not assertive.
The you always respect older people.
That jobs are to be loyal to and asking for more is not great.
To never beat a boy at anything or let them know how smart I was. I rebelled then though I told her any boy who didn’t like me because I was smart would be someone that didn’t interest me anyway
I addressed it with my Mom years ago and since then I think the cycle has been broken. But previous generations in my family with females have always tied importance of weight, thinness and how you look in your clothes as a major judgement of your self worth. Women in my family from The Greatest Generation, Boomers, etc always talked amongst one another about how they need to lose a few pounds, or they couldn’t believe they were no longer a size 8! Or how if you gain weight, then you’ll be less important and judged that you’re not taking care of yourself and will be looked down upon. It was toxic, (not solely because of this, but it was certainly a factor) I developed a bad relationship with food, an eating disorder and since the age of 13 have had a really messed up relationship with body image and food. I’m in recovery of eating disorders and in April will be 3 years. It’s been a really long journey, but being open with my family and acknowledging the generational toxicity among the females in my family and how they viewed body image, self worth, weight management really helped and hope that younger gals in my family won’t have to deal with it or as much!
My mom passed down some body issues. She hated her own body and would always make comments about it in front of me. She started making comments about mine around the time I hit puberty.
I’ll never forget the day that we were shopping for new clothes for me. She basically told me that I was too hard to shop for because I had a tummy and a butt.
I’ve since thrown this idea in the garbage where it belongs…but my mother raised her kids in the idea that women were better than men, but also always going to be the victim no matter how hard we try.
She held the idea that men had no feelings or capacity for growth and change, that they were basically cannon fodder or only good to be manipulated into doing her bidding. As Disney villain-esqe as that sounds, and you would think it would be obvious that this message was wrong, it was a message that was very insidiously sprinkled in a lot of other genuinely good lessons about life. So it was hard to unlearn this as an adult. I’m working hard on this because I want to stop living with the consequences of the subliminal actions that grew into habits out of this wrong idea. Even tho there is a lot of gender inequality in the world, it’s not because of the extremist views that she believes and it’s not hopeless to fight against inequality or to form meaningful relationships with men as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings and capacity for growth.
If I ever have a child they won’t be sabotaged in their relationships like I was with this idea.
The only way to get a husband is by being a virgin. There’s so many things wrong with that statement
The point of life as a woman is to bear children and provide. That life won’t be worth living if you can’t do those things
“Girls like to clean!” lol okay…..
Wearing tampons is for whores who like to masturbate with them.
To stay in a relationship with someone who makes you miserable, because the salary, healthcare, and comforts of life work well. Those will never make up for emotional well being and compatibility.
That you’re only beautiful if you’re skinny. She treated me like a doll when I lost a lot of weight one summer and got so excited to show me off to her friends 🙄.
Only girls should do housework. Nah everyone no matter what their gender is should help with household chores
She never said it directly, but she modeled an unhealthy relationship my whole life and kept making compromises just to “keep him” (my dad). They both have unhealthy attachment styles and it fucked me up tbh. It took a lot of therapy and a really bad marriage to break out of those patterns.
Hug hello. In our family we were forced to hug hello and even now as an adult I’m teased because as a small child I felt uncomfortable and would refuse to hug people. I have relatives who will approach me and then say in a mocking tone “sorry I forgot you don’t hug”.
Personal space is sacred and not teaching children that all humans should respect each other’s personal space is wrong.
that if your partner isn’t providing sexually, then you’re entitled to go elsewhere
yes, she is a chronic cheater
I was raised without learning healthy eating habits. I ended up with a binge eating disorder aged 10. Now I’m overweight and left trying to get it off.
That you need a career. And constantly asking “what do you want to BE when you grow up!?” You just need to be happy. If you find a job that makes you happy, great. If your job pays well enough for you to do things that makes you happy, also great.
And “stop crying. You’re being dramatic”.
My kid can have feelings. She can be dramatic. She is also neurodivergent so that is going to be out of her control somewhat. I’m not going to shush her feelings.
that it’s ok to tell other women what to do with their bodies bc of our religion.
That you keep people in your life despite their abuse because they are “family”. That people are gay by choice. That you’re supposed to bottle up your anger at someone’s abuse and keep being very pleasant to them. That being a overly giving person to hateful vile people will bring you closer to god.
Always share your things. We force kids to share but as adults don’t force us to share things like cars , computers ect.
I will never tell my child to hug anyone she doesn’t want to. Or do anything she feels uncomfortable doing.
I will never force her to sit at the table and eat food.
Technology won’t be an all day all the time thing.
That I can’t survive without a man.
That there’s no need to stand up for myself because karma will catch up to people eventually. No, if someone disrespects my daughter or infringes on her boundaries, I expect her to speak up/throw hands.
That one should always wear a bra. No, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Do whatever you want with your boobs.
“It’s not how you feel but how you look”
“Suck in your gut”
If I don’t lose weight I won’t get a boyfriend
It’s more important to make everyone else comfortable at your own expense.
During my childhood, my mother would always discourage standing up for myself or being assertive. Her go to dialogue was let it go. Don’t retaliate.
No Mom, I’m not gonna teach my daughter that her self esteem and respect is less important than someone’s pride. She’s gonna know that she can give it right back to people and her mom will have her back. I’ll teach her to never start any fight but always finish them
That having bad people in my life is better than having no one in my life. She was very, very much wrong about that.
My daughter will never see me be on a diet or hear me mention calories.
I was raised by a mother who I love dearly but she also has her own body issues and took me to weight watchers at 16 when I wasn’t even overweight but because I thought I was fat. I wish she had sat me down and spoken to me about it, instead it felt like she was validating me, yes I am fat because mum agreed for me to go with her!
I have since battled with my weight for 2 decades, constantly fluctuating between very overweight and somewhat “normal” for my height, I reward myself with food and hide it when I feel I shouldn’t be eating it.
I finally decided to readjust my relationship with food this year, no more super low calorie diets, just a bit of a deficit and making sure I get exercise. It has been working well but if my daughter sees me weighing my food I tell her I am making sure I am eating enough to fuel my body for my exercises.
That you always have to have a man or depend on one.
This is going to be divisive but hear me out. My mom always preached that looks don’t matter and while that’s a sweet sentiment and she means well, it’s not true. My mom is very natural and doesn’t care about physical looks much, but she was dismissive about how being ugly resulted in bullying. My teeth were extremely gapped and stuck out, she wouldn’t get me braces, I failed embarrassingly at cutting and dying my own hair because she wouldn’t let me see a professional and a lot of my clothes were ill-fitting hand me downs. She made me feel like I was vain for wanting to look nice. I have had cosmetic work and went from an unconfident child to an insecure adult. It sucks that society is cruel but I am not going to live my life unhappily because I happened to be born with unlikeable features. If I have children I’m going to try to instill self love but also listen to them if they tell me they need help with their appearance. I think decent clothes, dental work and hair styling are perfectly fine and part of modern life, don’t make your kid try to scrape it together alone with no skills or knowledge.
it’d harder for black women to get married, so we should fight harder to keep a man/we can’t be as picky as other women.
like no, im sorry. i refuse to settle out of fear of ending up alone.
That having a man is more important than anything, including your children’s safety and comfort.
To accept less than to please and keep a man.
She chronically dated alcoholics who she enabled. She took enabling them to the point of telling me to stay elsewhere as a young teen for my own safety. If the man you are bringing into your house is unsafe for your child to be around maybe he is not the man you should bring home.
That men will expect something from you if you let them think you’re interested and that you’re obligated to comply. 🙁 My poor mom.
Always respect your elder. No. Respect is earned. If someone is being an ass to you, you do not need to show them respect just because they are older.
Hugging people I don’t want to. My daughter is only 3 but she has been raised to know that if she doesn’t want to hug someone she doesn’t have to. We’ve also told her the reverse applies, if a friend doesn’t want to hug her they don’t have to. Even during playtime if she says no or stop, we stop so that she knows we respect the fact that she’s saying it. I want her to know that she has control over her bodily autonomy.
I also refuse to teach her to hold back her feelings for anyone. I was always taught to keep it in until I got home but that just resulted in a bad habit of bottlijg everything up until it exploded and I spent years in therapy undoing that. She will know there are times when you do need to hold your tongue (at work sometimes) but otherwise that she is able to speak her mind about how she feels at any given time.
That sex is a bad thing. My mother always made sex seems like this huge deal and any time she found out (aka read my journal or msn [yes that far back] messages) about something “sexual” I had done, even just kissing!, she would start crying and make me feel awful about it. Because of this, I never felt comfortable talking to her about these things, asking questions, or guidance on how to be safe in situations.
I am about to give birth to my first child which happens to be a girl, and I know that I will NEVER imply that sex is a bad thing or something to feel shamed about. I wnat my daughter to understand that there are both emotional and physical responsibilties with having sex, but I want her to be comfortable to come and talk to me about these things.
I am not blaming my mother for things that have happened to me sexually, but I do wish she had created an environment that I felt comfortable talking to her about it so I would have known what was “normal” or “typical” sexual activities.
I come from a long line of very devout Southern Baptists. It breaks my heart that my mother and the mothers before her were raised to be submissive to men period. It doesn’t matter who he is to you; if he’s a man, you respect him, and stand behind him while he leads the way. My mom has been the breadwinner for 15 years, and she still thinks of her home as her husband, my dad’s house. If I have a daughter, I will teach her that she is NO man’s property. If she wants a husband, that is her PARTNER, and everything they have is 100% as much as it is 100% his.
She instilled in me that, yes, I am a strong independent girl, and I can do anything.
But, when a guy is around is around, the jar is too hard to open by myself.
I did not listen to her, and seeing her do this was cringe.
I ended up so independent and I hate asking for help, so I hurt myself before asking my husband to help me move the new dishwasher into the kitchen.
“Children are to be seen, not heard”
Except in the end, that made me extremely shy and insecure around people who I didn’t know.
That as a woman you respect yourself by not having multiple partners…. Do you know how many abusive situations that got me into thinking that if I left I was worth less? Now I’m in my 30 married to a great man. I NOW think it’s far more disrespectful to yourself to stay in an abusive situation where infidelity had to be normalize in the name of “respect”. I’m teaching my daughter to never settle.
To tolerate abuse and disrespect from relatives
I would start by loving my daughter, completely and wholeheartedly. I would demonstrate the love of a mother and what that can mean, what it should mean
That, sometimes, you just have to take it.
No, Mom, I really fucking don’t. I will put up with a lot, depending on the circumstance, but I have lines that are absolutely uncrossable.
If a boy is mean to you or hits you, it’s because he has a crush on you.
A woman without a man is a pitiable thing. That messed up my life so bad.
You have to finish your plate before you can leave the table/go play.
“Boys will be boys.”
That somehow, by virtue of gender, we are held to a higher set of expectations for our behavior. Meanwhile, a boy (or man) can misbehave and nobody holds them to the same standards or expectations because “boys will be boys.”
My mother used to say she’d pay me $ or buy me a new wardrobe when I lost weight. And I was not obese by any stretch. It’s scarred me to this day. I now know this is how she was raised – back in the day that a woman’s value was so highly tied to her looks.
I’ve had to challenge myself not to get down when I’m not outwardly“perfect.” And I’ve had the opportunity to reinforce that lesson with her as well lately (which she’s done very well with) But it’s hard to reverse that damage once it’s done.
I was taught that cleaning, cooking, and laundry was a woman’s work. That I needed to know it so I could serve my husband one day. This is when I asked why my brothers only had to mow the lawn.
I’m expecting a daughter in the next couple months. She will be taught those things but it will be framed as “these are the things you need to know to be a functioning adult.” If I ever have a son I will also teach him those things.
Basically anything relating to body image.. namely that being skinny is more important than being healthy. That skipping a meal is a better choice than sitting down for dinner with my family. That liquid diets are healthy. That being smaller will improve your worth. 💔
Married couples should always blend finances. No – I think a woman (and perhaps a man too) should always have a safety stash.
How important the number on the label of her clothes is. If she usually wears a size 8, but finds a pair of jeans that fit 100% perfectly but the label says 10, there is NO WAY IN HELL she’d wear those jeans. I find this absolutely ridiculous; the size on the label doesn’t mean crap. Wear what fits.
People must like you, always. Do anything to make other people happy so they like you.
I’ll teach my daughter to be kind and thoughtful but people pleasing will not be on the cards tyvm
I dont want kids, but I’d never want a daughter taught the toxic gender roles and emphasis on her looks over her brains that I was raised under
That my self worth is in how my body looks and what acts I can do for others
I’ll do a serious and a funny bc overall I love my mom so much. She did her best, and I’m so grateful to still have her around.
Serious: she struggled with weight her whole life- she NEVER wanted to be in photos. She did a good job raising me to have a healthy relationship with food but I wish I had more photos with her. I will pretend I think I’m gorgeous to my kids if I have to so they grow up thinking it’s normal to not hate yourself.
Funny: she taught me that “white and khaki looks tacky” and turns out most people don’t agree with that haha! I still don’t know where I stand on it. To me white and khaki looks like a family beach pic haha.
Love to moms and love to those who fight on despite their moms. Love to all.
Anything to do with the word “ladylike.”
You’ve got to suffer to be beautiful. Yeah, no. If I’m suffering, I’m not going to feel beautiful lol. Beauty stems from self-confidence and being healthy, not from slathering on makeup or straightening my curly hair.