When I visited Ukraine (before the war), my fiance and I went to a dog park early one morning to walk her dog.
We saw a man there, half-naked, tied to a tree. He seemed to have a bit of dog waste on his face and chest, and a sign in Ukrainian above his head.
I asked my fiance, who said “Oh, yep, that’s an animal abuser, he’s going to spend the whole day there and he’s not going to like it.”
Both dog waste bins inside the dog park itself were chained shut. It was pretty clear what the implication was.
Her dog didn’t “go,” but as we were walking away, we saw an elderly woman with 2 German Shepherds, walking up to the offender with baggies in hand. He cried and begged, but she just calmly inverted each baggie and smeared it all over his face and hair. He was covered. Guess those were the first big dogs of the day…
There were two police cars in the parking lot too – making sure no one got too out-of-line or physically violent towards him, she told me. Guess this sort of semi-official poetic justice has a place over there, and from the sight of him, it does the trick.
I once found a pair of sunglasses in a tree during a walk, and as I reached to grab them, a squirrel swooped down, snatched them out of my hand, and ran off. I just stood there, watching this squirrel strut around like it was the new fashion icon of the park.
I was on my way back to USA for my sophomore year of college and was at an airport in Scotland for a connecting flight and while waiting I started talking with a fellow traveler and we both were getting along perfectly talking about our love of traveling. Eventually we had to part ways to get to our respected gates at the airport but didn’t get to exchange names. When I started dating my now husband my first visit to his home he has a photo of him and his late wife in his living room and his late wife is that exact woman I was talking to when I was at the airport in Scotland years prior! They must’ve both been at the airport at the same time only I didn’t see him.
In 1996, I had just dropped out of University and was moving home to my parent’s place. My tail was firmly between my legs, I had almost no money and no job prospects. Basically I was screwed.
I had an old Jeep Comanchee with all my belongings in the back and 200 miles to go. I borrowed $20 from a friend for gas and started the trip. I got to a point that was 30 miles from home and was on empty. I pulled into a gas station/rest stop and sort of cried for a minute in my truck. I needed $5 for gas to make it the rest of the way and had nothing. There was no way I could call my dad and ask for help…he was already so disappointed.
After a minute I started searching around my truck for change…anything…I opened the glove box and there were these paper ‘loyalty bucks’ for a gas station that I never used. It turns out it was the exact gas station that I was stopped at. $4.70 worth of bucks. I found another $2.00 in change, put $6.00 in the gas tank and bought a coke.
I made it home.
Fast forward 20 years, I had sorted my crap out and am a lawyer…that Gas Station hired me as their outside counsel…I got to tell this story to the President of the company.
Me and some other guys from my fraternity stole a tree from a campus park to use as a Christmas tree in our home.
But the tree had been sprayed with fox piss – apparently the campus had even warned that they spray trees with it to deter theft. It freezes on the trees outdoors and doesn’t stink unless someone steals it and brings it indoors where it thaws.
We had to move out for a bit – nothing helped with the smell.
This happened to my parents, they were in separate vehicles coming home from town (1 1/2 Drive from home) and they were talking on the VHF about mundane things, then my mom noticed that my dad was ahead of her and not behind her anymore.
My dad never passed her and he had no idea how he ended up in front of her, the weirdest thing? An hour had passed and neither of them know how, so its like my dad teleported and time jumped ahead in a few short minutes.
I was on the subway, deeply hungover, heading to work. About a third of the way through the ride, I got the feeling I was being watched. I lookes around and realized that a kid… 5 or 6, maybe… was staring at me. I stared back.
She then pulled a raw hot dog out of her back pocket and began to peel and eat it like string cheese. We never broke eye contact. She ate the whole thing that way.
My stop came and I exited the train. It was a deeply unsettling experience, though I can’t really articulate why.
I was on a trip in Germany with my family to see my Air Force uncle get married, as that’s where he was stationed. My family was walking around some historical tourist attraction, I think it was the Porta Nigra. We were walking around, then out of nowhere, this very touristy Asian guy (camera, fanny pack, sun hat, sunglasses, etc) ran up behind me, put his arm around me, smiled, got our picture taken, then ran off. All in the span of like 2 seconds. It was so funny and confusing. My theory was he wanted a picture of him with a real German kid, and because I look pretty German, he got a pic with me. I still laugh at that memory from time to time. I really really hope the picture somehow finds its way to me.
My cat disappeared for two days. Found her sitting in my closet with a completely different collar – like, not even the same style I’d ever buy. No one in the neighborhood recognized it, and my cat is strictly indoor-only. Still have no explanation.
Id have to say the reason for my username is the weirdest and craziest thing ive ever experienced.
My Gf at the time and I went camping, and being the hippies we were, we dropped some acid as the Sun was going down, and chilled in the tent listening to music.
About an hour or two in, we started seeing flashes of light. At first we just figured it was someone else with a flashlight, but then we heard a distant ominus boom
I looked out the tent door, to my left was perfect starry night… and to my right was a giant black doom cloud with a fuckload of lightning coming from it! And so began the scramble of getting everything out of the tent and into the car. I remember being so high that stuff I picked up was seemingly just melting into my arms.
We left the tent cuz we couldnt figure out how to take it down, and took shelter in the car ourselves. That storm lasted all night long, with many strikes quite close by. A nearby radio tower was hit again and again through the night.
At one point, I suddenly felt tingly all over, and looked over at my Gf, and we saw that our hair was standing right up on end. We had maybe a half second of eyes widening realization before KABOOM! … it was like a flashbang went off beside me. The bolt struck so close that had the passenger window been down, I could have reached out and grabbed it. It also wasnt a normal strike, it left this huge streak of ionized air where the bolt had been, and Ive only ever seen that in videos of unusually powerful strikes.
At the time, I described it as “Zeus and his greek god bros were all chilling when they saw a couple of punt humans tripping absolute balls in a giant lightning storm, and said ‘hey guys, wanna see something really funny?’”
Comments
Told before but worth sharing again.
When I visited Ukraine (before the war), my fiance and I went to a dog park early one morning to walk her dog.
We saw a man there, half-naked, tied to a tree. He seemed to have a bit of dog waste on his face and chest, and a sign in Ukrainian above his head.
I asked my fiance, who said “Oh, yep, that’s an animal abuser, he’s going to spend the whole day there and he’s not going to like it.”
Both dog waste bins inside the dog park itself were chained shut. It was pretty clear what the implication was.
Her dog didn’t “go,” but as we were walking away, we saw an elderly woman with 2 German Shepherds, walking up to the offender with baggies in hand. He cried and begged, but she just calmly inverted each baggie and smeared it all over his face and hair. He was covered. Guess those were the first big dogs of the day…
There were two police cars in the parking lot too – making sure no one got too out-of-line or physically violent towards him, she told me. Guess this sort of semi-official poetic justice has a place over there, and from the sight of him, it does the trick.
I once found a pair of sunglasses in a tree during a walk, and as I reached to grab them, a squirrel swooped down, snatched them out of my hand, and ran off. I just stood there, watching this squirrel strut around like it was the new fashion icon of the park.
I was on my way back to USA for my sophomore year of college and was at an airport in Scotland for a connecting flight and while waiting I started talking with a fellow traveler and we both were getting along perfectly talking about our love of traveling. Eventually we had to part ways to get to our respected gates at the airport but didn’t get to exchange names. When I started dating my now husband my first visit to his home he has a photo of him and his late wife in his living room and his late wife is that exact woman I was talking to when I was at the airport in Scotland years prior! They must’ve both been at the airport at the same time only I didn’t see him.
In 1996, I had just dropped out of University and was moving home to my parent’s place. My tail was firmly between my legs, I had almost no money and no job prospects. Basically I was screwed.
I had an old Jeep Comanchee with all my belongings in the back and 200 miles to go. I borrowed $20 from a friend for gas and started the trip. I got to a point that was 30 miles from home and was on empty. I pulled into a gas station/rest stop and sort of cried for a minute in my truck. I needed $5 for gas to make it the rest of the way and had nothing. There was no way I could call my dad and ask for help…he was already so disappointed.
After a minute I started searching around my truck for change…anything…I opened the glove box and there were these paper ‘loyalty bucks’ for a gas station that I never used. It turns out it was the exact gas station that I was stopped at. $4.70 worth of bucks. I found another $2.00 in change, put $6.00 in the gas tank and bought a coke.
I made it home.
Fast forward 20 years, I had sorted my crap out and am a lawyer…that Gas Station hired me as their outside counsel…I got to tell this story to the President of the company.
Me and some other guys from my fraternity stole a tree from a campus park to use as a Christmas tree in our home.
But the tree had been sprayed with fox piss – apparently the campus had even warned that they spray trees with it to deter theft. It freezes on the trees outdoors and doesn’t stink unless someone steals it and brings it indoors where it thaws.
We had to move out for a bit – nothing helped with the smell.
When your mom says you can play games. But then, an hour later, sees you playing and gets angry.
“Mom, you said I could play?”
“No I didn’t! I never said that!”
This happened to my parents, they were in separate vehicles coming home from town (1 1/2 Drive from home) and they were talking on the VHF about mundane things, then my mom noticed that my dad was ahead of her and not behind her anymore.
My dad never passed her and he had no idea how he ended up in front of her, the weirdest thing? An hour had passed and neither of them know how, so its like my dad teleported and time jumped ahead in a few short minutes.
I was on the subway, deeply hungover, heading to work. About a third of the way through the ride, I got the feeling I was being watched. I lookes around and realized that a kid… 5 or 6, maybe… was staring at me. I stared back.
She then pulled a raw hot dog out of her back pocket and began to peel and eat it like string cheese. We never broke eye contact. She ate the whole thing that way.
My stop came and I exited the train. It was a deeply unsettling experience, though I can’t really articulate why.
I was on a trip in Germany with my family to see my Air Force uncle get married, as that’s where he was stationed. My family was walking around some historical tourist attraction, I think it was the Porta Nigra. We were walking around, then out of nowhere, this very touristy Asian guy (camera, fanny pack, sun hat, sunglasses, etc) ran up behind me, put his arm around me, smiled, got our picture taken, then ran off. All in the span of like 2 seconds. It was so funny and confusing. My theory was he wanted a picture of him with a real German kid, and because I look pretty German, he got a pic with me. I still laugh at that memory from time to time. I really really hope the picture somehow finds its way to me.
My cat disappeared for two days. Found her sitting in my closet with a completely different collar – like, not even the same style I’d ever buy. No one in the neighborhood recognized it, and my cat is strictly indoor-only. Still have no explanation.
Id have to say the reason for my username is the weirdest and craziest thing ive ever experienced.
My Gf at the time and I went camping, and being the hippies we were, we dropped some acid as the Sun was going down, and chilled in the tent listening to music.
About an hour or two in, we started seeing flashes of light. At first we just figured it was someone else with a flashlight, but then we heard a distant ominus boom
I looked out the tent door, to my left was perfect starry night… and to my right was a giant black doom cloud with a fuckload of lightning coming from it! And so began the scramble of getting everything out of the tent and into the car. I remember being so high that stuff I picked up was seemingly just melting into my arms.
We left the tent cuz we couldnt figure out how to take it down, and took shelter in the car ourselves. That storm lasted all night long, with many strikes quite close by. A nearby radio tower was hit again and again through the night.
At one point, I suddenly felt tingly all over, and looked over at my Gf, and we saw that our hair was standing right up on end. We had maybe a half second of eyes widening realization before KABOOM! … it was like a flashbang went off beside me. The bolt struck so close that had the passenger window been down, I could have reached out and grabbed it. It also wasnt a normal strike, it left this huge streak of ionized air where the bolt had been, and Ive only ever seen that in videos of unusually powerful strikes.
At the time, I described it as “Zeus and his greek god bros were all chilling when they saw a couple of punt humans tripping absolute balls in a giant lightning storm, and said ‘hey guys, wanna see something really funny?’”
And thus, Youpunyhumans was born.