High volume texting, and in a similar vein people who get insecure and anxious when there is a delay in my response. I’m a busy person and I don’t want to deal with constant reassurance.
Accusing me of cheating everyday and what I’m doing every 10 minutes 😒 I was that person always getting cheated on anyways so most likely, it was projection on their part…
– Being dependent on me to the point where they can’t function without my input, e.g. not being able to make their own decisions
– Constant insecurity and lack of trust
– Not having their own interests
But to be honest, there’s a direct relationship between my tolerance for clinginess and how much I like the person 🙂📈
Texting me good morning every morning while I’m sleeping. Being too touchy out in public with when I say it makes me uncomfortable. Not allowing me to be independent having my own life
somebody who doesn’t have a social life or hobbies outside of me. part of what make me interested in someone is a little bit of mystery.
I’m not saying they need to have another secret life as a bond agent or anything, but having a little group/thing that I’m not fully a part of makes for interesting conversation and such. I want to feel like there’s always a little something to learn about someone. When you get to the point in the relationship where they just don’t do much outside of work/your relationship, it just gets a little slow. Like come on my guy, put yourself out there, follow your ambitions (or work on discovering them!!) so that I can support you and we can continue to grow together
Constant communication, also if they don’t have their own life/interests. My number one silly but real thing in relationships is “GET A LIFE”, I don’t want to be your only source of happiness
I spend a load of time with my husband. I’ll be working from home and he’ll come into my office once an hour to say hello. He wants to hold hands constantly. He texts me just to say “hi” all the time or send me pictures of our dog.
I have never once found any of it clingy or smothering. Yet, in other relationships, a fraction of that contact would have driven me up the wall.
The key difference is: I never feel responsible for his emotions. If I need a day to myself, I take the day. And he won’t be hurt or need more from me because of it. If I don’t text back right away because I am swamped at work, he doesn’t get insecure or anxious.
He simply likes spending time with me. But he doesn’t need to spend time with me or for me to manage any of his emotions. And that is why I never feel like he’s clingy
I like pretty clingy, since I am a clingy person myself; but I would say a good amount of clingy that is still acceptable is someone who:
Texts me first, whether that be good morning texts or some throughout the day
Wants to know what all i did during a day, but because they are being supportive not for any reason
Wants physical affection but can respect my boundaries if i say i dont want it
Takes initiative by talking about what they want or (if agreed upon) initiating flirting or texts.
Some bad clinginess would be things like:
Taking it personally when i have to do things outside of them or dont text back immediately
Not knowing how to respect boundaries placed (i say, hey im not feeling well i dont want you to kiss me tonight and then an hour later they kiss me)
Insists i go with them places or take them places if i have expressed discomfort in going there when asked.
Basically it is a line of clingy vs controlling; you can be clingy and a good partner but it is very easy to accidentally become controlling due to a desire to love your partner enough or give them enough attention.
When I say „I want to spend some time alone and just play games” and my partner pushes themselves into at least being in the same room with me. Or „we could play online together!”. No, fuck off. I love you, but for my sanity and your sanity too, fuck off, I will see you in like two days.
Never had a clingy partner like that tho. I just know this is TOO CLINGY, not even cute, just way too clingy, because my best friend’s girlfriend is like that. My partner respects my need to be alone sometimes, when I say I need to be alone, he leaves me alone. Doesn’t even text me. Well, sometimes he does, just to check if I’m alive and okay, and say that he loves me, and I’ll just text back something like „All good, love u too <3” and that’s it. He doesn’t push me to talk. He is the good clingy. Not respecting the need of personal space – way too clingy.
Constantly wanting to be around me and not understanding, no matter how many times I try to explain it, that I need space. I can’t do the 24/7 be around people all the time. I live alone because I need to have a safe place to get away and decompress and constantly being around somebody doesn’t allow me to do so.
When he gets sad and mopey that I didn’t call for him to come jumpstart my car or fix my flat, like I suddenly forgot how to do anything myself, when me knowing how to do everything including my own engine overhauls is what got him attracted to me in the first place.
Having to go to every single family gathering- birthdays, holidays, drinks, baby showers, graduations, dinners, lunches, on and on and on. I will love your family, but my time is my own and I will be a better family member if I decide which 50-75% of these events I will attend vs alone time vs my own family events. Or tell me which ones mean the most for me to attend and don’t say all of them.
Edit: I honestly don’t know how you guys with kids do it because you must feel even more obligated to attend every single family gathering (on both sides!) to bring the grandchildren. I’m tired just thinking about it.
Comments
High volume texting, and in a similar vein people who get insecure and anxious when there is a delay in my response. I’m a busy person and I don’t want to deal with constant reassurance.
If I don’t respond immediately
“Hello?”
“You there?”
*calls
Constant, passive communication. I do not need to know your every thought of every day!
Accusing me of cheating everyday and what I’m doing every 10 minutes 😒 I was that person always getting cheated on anyways so most likely, it was projection on their part…
– Being dependent on me to the point where they can’t function without my input, e.g. not being able to make their own decisions
– Constant insecurity and lack of trust
– Not having their own interests
But to be honest, there’s a direct relationship between my tolerance for clinginess and how much I like the person 🙂📈
wanting to hang out 24/7, freaking out if not replying quickly, insecure
Being jealous/moping if I make plans with my friends without him. Hanging all over me in public. Texting or calling when he knows I’m busy.
Telling me on the second date that his family can’t wait to meet me.
Nooope.
Texting me good morning every morning while I’m sleeping. Being too touchy out in public with when I say it makes me uncomfortable. Not allowing me to be independent having my own life
Feeling a need to be right by me any time I’m not at work. Makes you feel like a dog on a leash.
Depends if it’s about being controlling or about wanting to enjoy. motive matters a lot
somebody who doesn’t have a social life or hobbies outside of me. part of what make me interested in someone is a little bit of mystery.
I’m not saying they need to have another secret life as a bond agent or anything, but having a little group/thing that I’m not fully a part of makes for interesting conversation and such. I want to feel like there’s always a little something to learn about someone. When you get to the point in the relationship where they just don’t do much outside of work/your relationship, it just gets a little slow. Like come on my guy, put yourself out there, follow your ambitions (or work on discovering them!!) so that I can support you and we can continue to grow together
Constant communication, also if they don’t have their own life/interests. My number one silly but real thing in relationships is “GET A LIFE”, I don’t want to be your only source of happiness
I spend a load of time with my husband. I’ll be working from home and he’ll come into my office once an hour to say hello. He wants to hold hands constantly. He texts me just to say “hi” all the time or send me pictures of our dog.
I have never once found any of it clingy or smothering. Yet, in other relationships, a fraction of that contact would have driven me up the wall.
The key difference is: I never feel responsible for his emotions. If I need a day to myself, I take the day. And he won’t be hurt or need more from me because of it. If I don’t text back right away because I am swamped at work, he doesn’t get insecure or anxious.
He simply likes spending time with me. But he doesn’t need to spend time with me or for me to manage any of his emotions. And that is why I never feel like he’s clingy
PDA. I don’t need you telling the world that I’m yours or making others uncomfortable around us. Just keep it light when we’re out please.
I like pretty clingy, since I am a clingy person myself; but I would say a good amount of clingy that is still acceptable is someone who:
Texts me first, whether that be good morning texts or some throughout the day
Wants to know what all i did during a day, but because they are being supportive not for any reason
Wants physical affection but can respect my boundaries if i say i dont want it
Takes initiative by talking about what they want or (if agreed upon) initiating flirting or texts.
Some bad clinginess would be things like:
Taking it personally when i have to do things outside of them or dont text back immediately
Not knowing how to respect boundaries placed (i say, hey im not feeling well i dont want you to kiss me tonight and then an hour later they kiss me)
Insists i go with them places or take them places if i have expressed discomfort in going there when asked.
Basically it is a line of clingy vs controlling; you can be clingy and a good partner but it is very easy to accidentally become controlling due to a desire to love your partner enough or give them enough attention.
When I say „I want to spend some time alone and just play games” and my partner pushes themselves into at least being in the same room with me. Or „we could play online together!”. No, fuck off. I love you, but for my sanity and your sanity too, fuck off, I will see you in like two days.
Never had a clingy partner like that tho. I just know this is TOO CLINGY, not even cute, just way too clingy, because my best friend’s girlfriend is like that. My partner respects my need to be alone sometimes, when I say I need to be alone, he leaves me alone. Doesn’t even text me. Well, sometimes he does, just to check if I’m alive and okay, and say that he loves me, and I’ll just text back something like „All good, love u too <3” and that’s it. He doesn’t push me to talk. He is the good clingy. Not respecting the need of personal space – way too clingy.
Constantly wanting to be around me and not understanding, no matter how many times I try to explain it, that I need space. I can’t do the 24/7 be around people all the time. I live alone because I need to have a safe place to get away and decompress and constantly being around somebody doesn’t allow me to do so.
When he gets sad and mopey that I didn’t call for him to come jumpstart my car or fix my flat, like I suddenly forgot how to do anything myself, when me knowing how to do everything including my own engine overhauls is what got him attracted to me in the first place.
Having to go to every single family gathering- birthdays, holidays, drinks, baby showers, graduations, dinners, lunches, on and on and on. I will love your family, but my time is my own and I will be a better family member if I decide which 50-75% of these events I will attend vs alone time vs my own family events. Or tell me which ones mean the most for me to attend and don’t say all of them.
Edit: I honestly don’t know how you guys with kids do it because you must feel even more obligated to attend every single family gathering (on both sides!) to bring the grandchildren. I’m tired just thinking about it.
Nothing lol. he can cling to me however he wants