“ you should have chose better”. “ it’s your fault you got mishandled.”
One thing about humans is they know how to mask up and put on a front
But then when a woman says she is staying single and not taking any more gambles with love they go “ you’re gonna be a lonely cat lady. Too picky “
Comments
Those men don’t want to do the work so it’s easier to blame women instead of taking accountability and being better.
It’s not a good faith argument; they’re just mad that women aren’t choosing them. I’d disregard those guys entirely.
Why do you even waste energy wondering why clowns like that even think what they think?
Woman does something – bad.
I don’t associate with men like this.
I think all of these phrases translate to “I feel like she wouldn’t date ME and I’m gonna make that her problem”.
aside from echoing all the other comments, what’s wrong with being single and owning cats? i’m a proud (married and childless) cat lady.
these men love to shame and put down women for everything, reeks of misogyny. don’t associate with them
Oh yeah my ex definitely told me my standards were too high when I kicked him out of the house that I owned and paid all the bills for. He contributed nothing but still had the audacity to be pouty and passive aggressive if everything didn’t go his way. I told him my standards would have to be nonexistent for me to be satisfied with what he was giving.
And tell me why his ex was trying to fight me to get back with him?? I was like baby girl you can have him! Please take him!
The blame always falls on women according to men like that. Because they don’t think women are people, they’re playthings and servants to them.
I’ve only had one guy pull that “should’ve chose better” crap on me back when I was a single parent. He regretted it, trust me.
Bc the men who say that are trying to feel out just how low a woman is willing to go for companionship. There’s a common belief among shitty men that single moms are desperate.
I have 2 other single mom friends who have shared the horrible, horrible things guys on dates tell them:
1.) why should I choose you over any other childless woman out there?
2.) if you couldn’t keep your husband, how do you expect to keep me?
3.) you invited me out, I’m not paying. What, You said you could handle your own.
The way I’d slap these men!… but I’ll tell you, my friends STAYED for the dates, answered the late night texts, gave these guys rides back home after being insulted all night.
So we have to stand tall and teach people how to treat us. Laugh in their faces. Leave them at the table with the bill. Tell them they bear an uncanny resemblance to Danny McBride, with a sincere smile on your face then excuse urself to the restroom (leave!)
Well, at least they didn’t compare us to a car or a lock or some other object…🤷
It’s actually stupidly stupid. What they’re saying—with about as much subtly as a fucking cannon—is that they are upset women aren’t choosing THEM when they want them to. A single mother is supposed to be “evidence” that women choose poorly, rather than evidence that bad men are in every demographic, every socio economic level, and every level of attractiveness.
Men.
It’s called negging. They think it helps them get laid.
Why speak to men like this? Let them talk themselves into isolation.
If this is just something you’ve seen online. You need to limit the online spaces you visit.
It’s a weird form of projection of their own unhappiness and shortcomings. Some women also do the same when someone else’s views/life goals don’t align with theirs.
You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. They complain either way 😂
Well, they aren’t advantaged by us staying single, or being prepared to leave relationships.
I guess we are supposed to “pick better” before knowing anything bad about someone, yet we aren’t supposed to have high standards either.
I guess we can’t win! No matter what we do it seems like anything anyone does to us is our fault, but we also shouldn’t stop doing things that put us at risk? 🤔
The best thing to do in this situation is stop listening to people who don’t have our best interests at heart and do what we want.
Who are the guys saying this shit? I think they need to be avoided, too.
I frequent a forum with guys like this (it’s interesting!!) and they seem to think that women who couldn’t find anyone within their valuable years (teens to mid 20s) then they MUST have rejected At-least one nice guy within that timeframe. They slot themselves into the space of that guy you rejected because you wanted to go for some bad boy who broke your heart instead – making themselves mad enough to lash out.
It’s really because these guys don’t just chat with women in normal ways so they build up this effigy they can either worship or deride.
The only men I meet that say these things are drinking from the manosphere koolaid fountain.
Men will bend themselves into all kinds of pretzels to find a way to blame a woman for their own shortcomings.
You want women to choose better men? BE BETTER MEN.
You’re right. It’s a venn diagram of two completely separate circles.
When these guys say you should choose better, they’re saying it to imply that they’re one of the “better” choices. It’s just more “nice guy” sour grapes. There’s no recognition of the total lack of truly decent men in the world. It’s pure delusion— and that’s why it’s not even worth dating men.
I can’t stand when men say this. I find it to be so devoid of empathy. But then when a man chooses the wrong woman, it’s not he should have chosen better, it’s that the woman is awful. eye roll
Oh girl you read my mind. Over and over again I’ve heard that I’m picking the wrong man when I was younger. When I turned 25 I listened to them and said you know what ,,,,I’m going to stay single until I find the right one. Now everyone is saying that I’m being to picky.
They’re self serving hypocrites.
These are statements uttered by angry unwanted men who would rather pretend everyone is as miserable as they are than make themselves attractive.
They’re telling you they hate women.
Any man who says this is an idiot and likely not a great person. Perhaps they have issues with their own parents.
If the goalpost keeps moving, there isn’t a goal – other than to be the one that has the power to prevent you from making a goal.
The only way to win is to stop playing.
The same men telling women to “choose better” are often the ones complaining that women’s standards are too high
These suggestions to” choose better” are also presented without any concrete idea of how to identify better in order to actually do that choosing.
And certainly not any acknowledgement of the things that make doing so difficult, like how things on a dating profile don’t really corellate with the qualities that are important long-term, the fact that how someone acts in the initial stages of a relationship doesn’t guarentee much about how they would act in later stages, and that people can and do straight up lie sometimes.
I say “I’d rather be a cat lady than be in your shoes”
Seriously I’m like “whatever you have there, I don’t want any of them” to my friends collegues or whoever who are married with kids… they don’t look good you know… I don’t envy any one of them.
It’s crazy how men in general tend to blame women for bad actions committed by men. IMO many men secretly look up to guys that are able to treat women poorly but still have success amongst the opposite sex.
And the good ole ”women are not giving nice guys a chance!” Okay but many women get hit on by a ton of guys (especially on dating apps). And we all know that women find women who date a lot promiscuous. Women being picky is actually a good thing as it let’s the nice guys to not waste time on women who have no initial interest towards them whatsoever. I wouldn’t want a guy to ”give me a chance” if he had 0 interest in me in the first place. Which is actually frustrating about dating as a woman, since many men will try to screw you even if they had no respect towards you at all.
Because those kinds of men just hate women.
They just want to control women and shame women. Many of the men that make cat lady comments are projecting about how they feel inside .
Women rejects man because he’s not what she wants: “What an entitled biatch, hate crime!”
Woman gets beaten up and murdered by a man: “Stupid biatch, not all men, should have chosen better!”
You ever notice how when a child does bad, They automatically blame the mother and assume a father wasn’t present. If a child does good, They automatically assume it’s because their father was present. Mom’s always getting the shyt end of the stick. We’re expected to do everything for our children while the fathers can up & leave, Starting anew. Then we’re blamed for being single mothers. We’re blamed for everyone’s fuck ups. It’s exhausting and draining.
Women are constantly blamed for the mistakes of men.
This is very apparent with the amount of men shaming single mothers as well as the amount of men shaming women who have been abused (automatically labelled as “damaged goods”). It’s just misogyny, no more and no less. There isn’t a deeper “why”, a lot of men just hate women and love blaming them for the mistakes of their own kind, which are indeed too shameful to admit.
Why do you have an issue with the 3rd one?