Do you feel better? Are you longing for a relationship? Or do you feel like your life has gotten better since getting rid of them?
Do you feel better? Are you longing for a relationship? Or do you feel like your life has gotten better since getting rid of them?
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I stopped the dating apps when I realized I wasn’t getting joy from it. I also realized that (particularly) as a black woman on the apps I was being fed a lot of the derelicts of society simply because of racist algorithms—I suggest all black women and most women of color to do the same. I entered an era of really exciting freedom from the desire to date…this of course came after a long period of feeling adrift at sea and like I was hopeless and never going to find anyone lol. All in all though what I remember most is the excitement and joy of not feeling tied to the idea of romance. It was so freeing. Life was exponentially better after apps cause it felt like I could breathe again.
…and then I met my husband by accident lol!
I got into a relationship and why would I keep cruft on my phone? I don’t have any apps installed I’m not actively using
I’m 30 now and I deleted them during Covid. I did it mainly because of Covid but I didn’t go back after things got better because it was one bad experience after another.
I meet less guys now face to face but way better quality guys. I basically figured out that the ONLY advantage the apps have is that you potentially meet a lot of people but very low quality people. It’s like the Walmart of life.
Didn’t have success in them. First I met an ok guy, but totally different. And very quiet. Then the second one was a copy of my ex and arrived 45minutes to the dates. The third hated me, looked at me with a disgust on his face, like I was a filthy cockroach he desperately wants to crush. Don’t now if I was ugly in his opinion or annoying or what was that about. But he really resented me. Number 4 didn’t show up and later that day called and cried he has ruined everything by being too drunk and too drugged up. (Didn’t know he used drugs..)
That’s what I got out of dating apps in 2-3 years. So I deleted them. And have been without dating / male contact ever since
I grew up, my standards got higher and what I wanted out of a relationship changed – the apps no longer offered what I was looking for and it was just a headache and a waste of time. When I first got on, I wasn’t nearly as picky and had lots of guys I went out with and was willing to mess around with them more. Now, I want intimacy to come later, and I am not nearly as willing to consider most guys who use the apps.
I made a profile and put a photo of just a flower on my profile because I wanted to browse. Within minutes, I was getting spammed, and the desperation was really off-putting. I didn’t have a picture…
The ones I attempted to look at were again just desperate and trying to get off the app right away. I felt gross. I deleted it and never went back.
I was sexually assaulted by a guy who i trusted and knew my boundaries. It wasn’t the first time i had been sexually assaulted (which he knew about) but it is the one that broke me to the point i don’t want to date anymore.
I am a little lonely and crave the championship… but how can i build the trust of “he won’t sexually assault me” again? I can’t. Plus, not dating or trying to date helps with my mental health symptoms too. So, I’m done.
Decided to have a baby on my own and raise her without distraction. Maybe when she’s school age I will dip my toes back in, but overall I feel a sense of peace and fulfillment.
Realizing how much dating apps are antithetical to building an actual lasting, healthy relationship was one of the deciding factors for me. Most of them don’t want you to find a partner, because then you stop using the app. They want to keep you engaged for as long as possible because it equals more money for them.
The apps also create this environment where we believe that someone “better” is always just a swipe away. It makes people less interested in investing in the relationship they’re actually in, because they think that it’s easier to just move on to the next one that will be “better.” (Years of experience tells me that the best relationship is the one you put effort into, obviously barring abuse, etc.)
The other thing for me is that I live in an area with a small dating pool to begin with, and the apps just made me feel like crap. I’m picky, which meant I got almost no matches. And the few I did get were quickly disappointing. Meeting men in person, through friends, etc. was a way better strategy. (I say “was” because I don’t date at all now.)
Getting rid of the apps was a fantastic choice, though. I was immediately less stressed and felt better about myself.
Honestly, I was just exhausted. Low effort men that don’t believe in dating. They loved that I’m adventurous, but somehow, they wanted me to just sit on the couch with them. The conversations were flat. I was more annoyed, it started to feel like work.
I’ve deleted and gone back multiple times but I’m really not going back this time. I’m almost past the “too old” age filter and I can’t imagine things getting any shittier than they are already so I won’t bother.
But yes I feel better. No energy wasted on losers that just want to bone anyway.
IMO most men on the apps are Avoidants/ attract Avoidants. I’ve seen the same guys on there consistently. I feel like the apps make men think the grass is greener and don’t invest in relationships. They are serial daters.
Also men who don’t put their career or political opinion are usually law enforcement/conservative which are red flags and they know women don’t want to be with them and try to lie about it 🙄 I see a lot of this on the apps.
I realized men aren’t worth having.
I wish they were, but I don’t waste my dreams on them. My life is now lived for me, and it’s glorious.
I recently deleted all the apps after getting dumped over text by someone I was truly falling for.
Yes, I’ll recreate my profile but just taking a break rn to heal and sort out my emotions about this. 💔
I’m on and off but honestly at 30 ITS INCREDIBLE HOW CLUELESS MEN ARE.
Been ghosted twice out of the blue by people who said they would communicate and it’s like why is that so hard!?
Dealt with men recently out of relationships who clearly needed therapy.
Also, why are you guys taking shirtless gym photos? Making your whole personality football? Like cmon
And then the ENM folks or poly ones. I have my strong opinions but you dating solo in an open marriage with a don’t ask don’t tell policy sounds massively misleading and also don’t WAIT TO TELL ME AND PUT MONOGAMOUS on your profile
It’s a needle in the haystack game
I was getting really tired of guys only wanting something casual lying in their profile about looking for long term commitment and then getting hit with some type of “you know, all the best relationships start out as friends, so maybe we should cool things off a bit?” But still get regular texts looking to hook up.
If you want fuck buddies, go get fuck buddies! It’d probably make your life a lot easier!
There is still a part of me that wants a relationship, but another, bigger and louder, part of me that enjoys the peaceful life I have. Maybe that will change, but I’m no longer actively seeking out a partner in any capacity and I don’t feel like I’m missing out.
I very recently decided to uninstall the apps, it’s been so freeing. So much is wrong with them: The algorithm feels pay-to-win, like no one will ever see you if you don’t pay their egregious subscription fees.
Another thing that really bothers me about the whole system is how it completely fast-tracks the platonic/crush stage straight into a very distilled first date (or interview as some of the guys I went on dates there, that I assumed were serial daters called it). I found myself trying to be extra amicable, literally putting on the same polite facade I would in a job interview, asking all the relevant questions, and I honestly once I was comfortable enough I’d let out “real” glimpses of my personality (loud, dry humor, quick wit), and you could tell they didn’t like that, I could see the light disappearing from their eyes the moment I was myself a little too much.
The one time I met someone that I thought “Omg this is it”, the first two weeks were AMAZING. I seriously thought it was it, but then he did a 180 shift in personality, suddenly being super depressed all the time, burning out from work, complaining about getting rejected on the dating app (even though we were exclusive, he made it sound like it was rejections from years ago but his timelines never added up). The avoidance, me clawing away at my phone trying to get him to call me, text me, make plans that he would cancel the same day like it was no big deal, when we would hang out the first 2-3 hours were him trauma dumping things that he would just constantly repeat, it felt like his brain was on repeat for the same self-loating script I had to let that shit go because it was a months-long thing. If it had been a longer parter I would have stayed. It still hurts, I wonder what I could have done differently, and he keeps watching my IG stories 15 seconds after I post them like. Leave me alone sir.
Also, I’m 35 and child-free, so I think I’m destined to never find success on dating apps. I don’t want to build a family. I noticed the people I dated didn’t give a fuck about my successes, the hardships I’d overcome, life you have built independently through sheer will, they only seem to care about what you bring to them in terms of sex or as a quiet, submissive domestic partner who doesn’t have vices, stays in, has no friends, etc. I have been alone so long (I’ve been trying and failing at relationships on/off app for about 8 years, I don’t know what’s wrong with me), I honestly have stopped caring.
I don’t use the app anymore, I’m back to being myself that likes to go out to coffee shops/bars/events and strike conversations up with strangers without ulterior motives, just chats of varying levels of depth. This method has been a lot more enriching for me personally. I’m not looking anymore for a partner or whatever, but I am meeting all of these characters in a low-stakes, no-expectation settings, I am the most me I can be, I get to have a nice conversation, and if they are regulars/staff then I’ll definitely see them again. It’s a win overall for me.
Tried dating apps once and was sexually assaulted on the very first date I went on.
I saw a ton of profiles that has ‘pineapple on pizza’ as their “controversial” opinion.
I have been on/off these dating apps for years now and everytime they always disappointed me. The conversations are dry and I feel its a gateway to meet narcissistic people. Every guy I have met on dating apps had mommy issues, serial cheater, and insecure folks looking for “submissive” nice stay at home women to stroke their egos and not willing to put in any effort to engage in getting to know you as a whole individual. I finally deleted it again this weekend after a match so many guys who don’t message first and when I do message anyone they tend to set their location radius 30 miles out and idky they keep doing that. One guy I was messaging back and forth with turns out he lives in PA and I live in LI and when I ask if he think this would work with the distance he said “no because he’s usually in PA and work in NJ” but still wanted me to make the effort to plan a trip to come see him like WTF 🫠🫠 he unmatched me afterwards when I didn’t respond quick enough to his good morning text the next day. I deleted my profile after that.
Found my husband lol I’ve had nothing but success on dating apps. I met my ex-husband on Okcupid and while the marriage didn’t work out, it was mostly because we grew apart in values and throw a child in there, it really made things difficult. We coparent a child now and are friendly. Then I met my current husband on Hinge and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. I don’t know why apps get such a bad rep. If anyone gets weird or is clearly not on the same path I’m on, I just move on during the chatting phase and I don’t invest any time into them. You can’t attract weirdos and jerks if you don’t give them any attention. I feel like you can gauge a lot just by chatting. If he can’t spell right, if he says weird stuff, if I can smell BS or lies from even through the screen, I don’t even bother replying.
That doesn’t put me off the app though. Just like with a job interview, all you need is 1 yes. I don’t need a million amazing men. I just need 1, so even if 80,000 of the other men there are losers, who cares. I think maybe sometimes the journey of searching puts people off. I think being extremely selective with who you meet in person helps. Don’t meet any random Chad and Brad. Make sure they sound and type like a normal human being first, then meet them once and trust your gut. Behavior is a language. If 1% is off, move on. I think this way saves time and heartache.
Like a lot of women, I never joined the dating apps after noticing how men used them and talked about and to the women on there.
I had an on again off again relationship with the apps. I’d delete them for a while when they started to feel like a chore, and then when I was ready to try again, I’d go back on them. Whenever I felt like they were having a negative impact on my mental health or detracting from my day to day life, I’d take that as a sign that I needed to step away.
I did end up meeting my now partner through the apps, though there’s a good chance we would have met eventually through a mutual friend. Meeting him is what has taken me off them for good.
I didn’t want to sell myself to people who are undecided.
I know I am a gem with or without men.
I realized that I’ve been on the dating apps non stop for over ten years and I’ve never found a relationship on them. The thought of installing the apps again made me sick. Decided to delete them this June for at least a year. I do feel lonely, but tbh I’d rather be single than go back to them.
Too many disappointing experiences, I decided to chase my career instead of men.
I found dating apps stressful even though the people I went on dates with were nice. There wasn’t a specific event that was the last straw. I just didn’t want to deal with it.
Also, I realized that I might be on the asexual spectrum, and I don’t know how to navigate that in dating — at my age, I think most people (understandably) want someone who already knows this kind of thing about themself, not someone who’s still questioning.
I wouldn’t say my life is clearly better or worse now. I mean, it’s better in the sense that I happen to have more friends who I see regularly now, but I don’t think that was caused by my deleting the dating apps.
Last convo before I deleted the dang app, I started off with a question based on his profile. He answered with full sentences, so that was nice. I asked a follow up question based on his answer. Once again, he gave a good answer. I asked another follow up question. He answered. I call him out on not asking me any questions. He copy pastes the generic question that was on his profile.
I would like a relationship, yes, but I’m happy not doing a damn thing about it at the moment.
I deleted them before I entered my latest relationship (in which I got discarded). I felt the men in there are immature, unserious, lazy, looking just to play games or an ego boost. I wanted something serious, so I felt like an app wasn’t the right way to find it.
Tried them on and off for a few months and I didn’t have good experiences. It’s weird but after a while everyone just seemed the same; all the guys had the same quotes from The Office, the same type of pictures…
Everyone ghosts because its so difficult to keep up with conversations
I don’t like to use my cellphone that much and one day I looked at my cellphone time: 7 hours in one day, basically a day of work… When I saw that number, I deleted it then and there, haven’t looked back
Whatever time I wasted on those I now use it for things I actually enjoy, I workout, go out every week with my friends and family, I’ve become really invested in my hobbies etc. I figured if its in my destiny to meet someone, I’ll meet them somewhere along* the way
Right now I’m focusing on me and enjoying being me 🙂
Seeing the men who liked me (usually attractive, but clearly not mature enough for the type of relationship I’m looking for) made me want to barf every time I opened the app. I got so sick of being disappointed that I just deleted my profile and the app.
This has happened literally every time I’ve downloaded Hinge. I finally decided—doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity. So I had to cut the cord. I’m much happier without it!
I surprisingly didn’t have a terrible experience with my last match. He was a nice guy but just didn’t click on a some major things.
The biggest reason I decided to stop was the gross feeling I had every time I had to scroll through people. It feels dehumanizing, for them and for me. Just faces and numbers and “fun facts”. And vetting through so many people feels like a chore when finding a partner should feel at least a little bit fun, right?
So now I’m just hoping to find someone organically and also asking my friends that I’m open for any recommendations they know in person. Hasn’t materialized into any meetings but I’m going to be hopeful about it.
I’m just finally realizing that I want to build something with someone who has seen me consistently in person before trying to date. The process of going on 1-5 dates over and over again, having guys act really excited/say they really like me/invite me to future things, then flip extremely fast on date 3-5 over and over and over again is so demoralizing. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t think I can take that again. I want to try and date someone who already knows me or has seen me in the wild a lot first, so that they can start dating me after already knowing they like my personality/are attracted to me etc. etc.
Despite having 4000+ men to choose from on tinder, I would somehow always find the redpill/misogynistic/abusive/controlling guy.
I realised my picker was broken. So I decided to just stop dating and heal myself and travel and enjoy my life.
And that’s how a guy that I never would have picked found me in person and asked me on a few dates.
My life definitely improved once I deleted it. The original intention was to take a break, but there has never been a moment, no matter WHAT was going on in my life, when the prospect of dealing with that seemed more appealing. I love relationships, and I am secretly a hopeless romantic. Yet modern dating apps are hell. It’s SO much easier to have a fulfilling life when not dealing with the constant stress that – even when one is VERY selective about matching or going on a first date – comes with the apps.
I would much rather focus on my emotional wellbeing, which means avoiding the apps, both for my quality of life, and also so I am in decent emotional shape to be the best partner I can, if I happen to stumble upon the right person.
I think I also have had a kinder view of how some men can be, being off the apps, since that means only seeing guy friends as examples and not the multitude of dickheads who temporarily masquerade as decent guys on the apps.
If you really must know, the specific reason I quit is that, over years, despite being super selective and only going out with very emotionally intelligent men who had been doing inner work for some years, every single one of them knew they were so commitment phobic they weren’t capable of a relationship, knew this before meeting me, yet they all not just dated me with serious intentions, but acted like they were deeply obsessed about starting a serious relationship with me. The blatant misrepresentation, & how common it is even in very emotionally intelligent men, is why I happily deleted the apps years ago and never looked back.
It was messing with my self esteem and everyone I met off them I had no chemistry with. So I think for me, it’s best to meet people in person!