so this might be complicated i don’t know if i’m a cheap man or not and i don’t think cheap ppl even know that they’re cheap but if i am i wanna work on it i usually plan well financially and can save money for a long time to achieve something or invest in something i don’t mind paying for my friends or gfs (i didn’t have many though) i always leave a tip in restaurants and coffee shops and i even do charity for religious things but when it comes to marriage i just can’t imagine spending on a woman for the rest of my life i just don’t feel okay being the only one paying in a relationship and maybe that’s not a big deal for some ppl since most women work now but where i’m from there are a lot of women who don’t work and even the ones who do work they still don’t wanna contribute financially in the relationship cause they believe it’s a religious obligation for the man to pay and i’m writing this here because people from my culture always bring religion into it and i really don’t wanna hear that pov again i’ve heard it enough i just wanna know if this is normal or if there’s something wrong with me and is it really that different from one culture to another
What makes a man financially responsible vs just being cheap?
r/AskMen
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In my experience, it usually breaks down like this: financially responsible means he doesn’t spend money on unnecessary things, and cheap means he doesn’t spend money on me.
I’m not religious. I’m happy to pay for dinner or drinks, but I wouldn’t want to date someone long term if they didn’t do the same for me. Looking for a partner, not a dependent.
Perception.
Your money, your choice. It’s never really wrong to save some $$ tbh.
I told my wife when we were dating that I would never buy her flowers. But I would grow them for her. I think that sums it up just fine
>but when it comes to marriage i just can’t imagine spending on a woman for the rest of my life i just don’t feel okay being the only one paying in a relationship
then don’t do this? find a woman that has a job.
If you aim on having a traditionally Islamic marriage with all the requirements and conditions placed under women, I think it’s only fair you do your part.
Otherwise just go into a fully liberal marriage.
Women will call you cheap to try to shame you for not spending your money on stupid useless crap that they want. In reality, that’s being financially responsible. The only difference in that case is whether or not she gets butthurt over you not spending the money.
The real difference though is… if there are 2 items that are basically the same, but one is 50% more expensive and lasts twice as long, buying the one that costs less is being cheap if you know it’s going to break on you when the one that costs 50% more will probably never break. The 50% more expensive one is actually the better financially responsible choice because you’ll end up buying the less expensive one twice anyway.
Financially responsible means covering your bills, having a nest for saving, and having the flexibility to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Cheap is when a person will not spend money even if it is necessary and appropriate. The cheapness is always come before a better quality or experience.
For example, a cheap person would spend slightly less money on a cheaper part for their car even if it means they will one again have that same car issue again shortly
Without knowing him like you would immediate family or a close friend I would say that you examine his vehicle. Whether it be an eco-value sedan or a heavy duty work truck if it is completely intact, maintained mechanically and with no obvious accident damage then he is financially responsible. If the vehicle looks like it was in a multi car pile up and smokes like a chimney, then maybe “cheap” or bad with money is it. This doesn’t apply universally but in many situations you can tell a lot about people by how they maintain their cars.
Are you even dating anyone?