Tried to adopt an abundance mindset: there is enough for all of us, there’s no need to compete. More for her doesn’t mean less for me.
Started to compare myself to my earlier self, instead. Am I doing better than I was? Nurturing healthier habits? Making steady progress, one day at a time? Taking care of myself? Tackling my problems in a dedicated and structured manner? Would young me be happy to see where that’s gotten me?
Surrounded myself with generous friends, and adopted a generous attitude myself, as well. So I’m surrounded by women who lift me up (and I them) instead of secretly harboring competition.
Went to therapy, to address my own insecurities and the underlying causes.
Got a lot older. Realized that I have forever lost the ‘young and fit trope’ to younger and fitter women, and it would be pathetic to try and hold on to it. And therefore, pathetic to keep comparing myself to them.
Every one of us women is like a flower. No matter what it looks like, what colour it it, how it smells like, where it is found or how unique or simple it is in appearance, they’re all beautiful in their own way and even more beautiful in a bouquet that you can’t help but appreciate the artistry of them all.
Basically no matter what you look like, what your personality is or gifts and talents are, you are beautiful simply for being you. In my darkest of depressive episodes when I don’t feel beautiful or intelligent or capable, this is one thought that makes it a bit better and appreciate my fellow woman.🤗❤️
Remind yourself: you’re not in competition with other women, you’re in sisterhood with them. Every time comparison creeps in, shift it into compassion. Celebrate her and return to your own path. You’re not behind you’re growing and that’s enough 💖
Remind myself that I am the only me that has ever lived. I am like no one else. Even if I have similarities with someone, there will always be differences. Physically, mentally, emotionally. To compare myself to anyone would do them and me a disservice.
I return the energy back to me. What’s making me feel the need to compare myself to others? I try to fix that or accept that I simply don’t have what others do.
I love the color yellow. I also love the color blue. My love for yellow does not diminish my love for blue. And the world would be lesser without either.
That’s how I look at myself and other women. I can celebrate their beauty without diminishing my own.
Stay off TikTok especially but all social media. I went on TikTok seriously for one month and started to feel really ugly and old. As soon as I stopped, those feelings went away.
Comparing ourselves is how the patriarchy wants us to self create a hierarchy among women. Fight for male attention, tear each other down, create self-doubt and insecurities. Women are easier to control when they are fighting each other. F-that, we can team up and be the most unstoppable group there is. I don’t need to compare myself to others because my achievements have nothing to do with anyone else’s progress in life.
I do compare myself to other women, just not obsessively. There are times when I see other women who make me feel jealous or insecure. I’ll make a mental note of what I like about them to see if I can try to be more like that, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on it in a negative way. Basically I try to take something positive from it, but I make a point not to wallow in the negative.
I make it a point to openly compliment other women every single day. If you spend your time looking for the good in people and you spread positivity, you feel pretty great.
Remembering that other people mostly only show off the most glamorous parts of their lives and keep their problems more private. Would I rather have their problems than my problems? Probably not.
I remind myself that yeah that woman may have a figure I wish I had or she’s got a deadly face card but her life is hell with 3 kids as cherries on top and then I don’t envy her package as much.
I’m not great at keeping up with people in the first place, so I don’t follow what they’re doing. If you do this long enough you’ll find that you really don’t care what other people are up to in relation to yourself.
When I occasionally do watch stories I just like a bunch of them and gas people tf up. I’d rather be internet happy for someone than jealous.
The older you get the more you realize that the things you tell yourself and reality are very different. The things you see on social media might not be the whole story. I spent so much of my life wishing I was able to get married and have children. Then I made mom friends in my 30s and learned how hard it really is. I realized that I haven’t missed out on as much as I thought. What if I had ended up in a marriage that made me unhappy? What if nothing went the way I wanted?
Sometimes I see women that have nicer handbags and think how I wish I had those. But then I think about what I really like to spend my money on (travel) and that feeling goes away.
I guess for me it’s just about stepping back and seeing the big picture and that’s not easy sometimes. Especially when I feel like I’m struggling just to get through some days.
I’m happy enough with both my external appearance and personality, realising at the same time that there are women far younger, prettier, athletic, smart and talented than me.. I’m still happy to be me. I’m not in a self-adoration delerium, I do have insecurities and neuroses aplenty, but these too are part of who I am.
Once you realise nobody’s perfect, you tend to appreciate being you more.
Honestly? Some days I don’t. But I’m learning to be kinder to myself and remind myself that my value isn’t diminished just because someone else is shining.
That there will ALWAYS be someone skinnier, prettier, or smarter than me somewhere. Even if I am that person in the room right now.
Comparing myself to others is a waste of time and diminishes the unique light and gifts that I bring to the table. Instead of trying to compete with others and curate myself into what I “think” others want from me, I focus on my strengths and talents and trust that those who are meant for me will find me and appreciate the woman that I am.
I don’t think I have a method. I think I just look at lot of things that other people do and realize that I wouldn’t enjoy doing them. That is generally enough for me. I’m at the age that I really don’t care as much about impressing other people. If I don’t enjoy it, I generally don’t force myself to do it. I also don’t thrive to be perfect. Those perfect people are sometimes willing to go to extremes to achieve perfection or it’s their full time job to maintain a certain image.
I also ask, “Would it be worth it to me devote the time, money, resources, etc needed to be like her?” The answer is generally overwhelmingly no.
I still struggle with this all the time, but here are a few tricks that are helping me learn.
A lot of people would not agree with my parenting style. Which used to bother me a lot. Until I realized that all the teachers for my oldest’s Pre-K (including the teachers for the other class) say how much they love having her because not only is she creative, happy, and polite, but that she cares about her classmates, making sure no one is left out or alone. I also get applauded that all three of my kids have manners and are well behaved by most people who know us, including my friends who haven’t had kids yet. So yeah, fuck those people who tell me my parenting style sucks.
My appearance. I’ve had low self esteem for most of my life (because yay I’ve been compared to my twin my entire life). Plus, I’ve had 3 kids so I’m the biggest size I’ve ever been, which is hard for me to handle some days because I used to be a size 6 (and not smaller because my boobs have always been big). So instead of comparing myself to people online, I’ve looked at them differently. For example, I follow someone on Tiktok because she helps teach girls with curly hair how to properly take care of it many different ways. I follow someone who does OOTD that isn’t super skinny because she shows how to dress for your body type.
Significantly reducing social media helped & curating what content I do consume, away from beauty, fashion etc (for me this has been more art, gardening, DIY) Also being more critical and scrutinising what is filtered and faked online.
Loving other women. Wholeheartedly and with zero chill. We are not each other’s competition, we are a reflection of each other! I am shreds of every woman (and some men and others) that I ever admired. Romantically, platonically, everythingcally, I LOVE women. I’m too busy celebrating the women in my life to be jealous because I find genuine joy in the success, beauty, achievements, and uniqueness of others.
I just use the “I won’t compare myself for now and I’m turning off my phone and gonna do some self care and not think about other people because I know in a few days Im probably gonna feel prettier and be less jealous so for now I’ll just take this as it is and not think too hard about it” method
Comments
Deleted all social media.
Tried to adopt an abundance mindset: there is enough for all of us, there’s no need to compete. More for her doesn’t mean less for me.
Started to compare myself to my earlier self, instead. Am I doing better than I was? Nurturing healthier habits? Making steady progress, one day at a time? Taking care of myself? Tackling my problems in a dedicated and structured manner? Would young me be happy to see where that’s gotten me?
Surrounded myself with generous friends, and adopted a generous attitude myself, as well. So I’m surrounded by women who lift me up (and I them) instead of secretly harboring competition.
Went to therapy, to address my own insecurities and the underlying causes.
Got a lot older. Realized that I have forever lost the ‘young and fit trope’ to younger and fitter women, and it would be pathetic to try and hold on to it. And therefore, pathetic to keep comparing myself to them.
Focusing on myself and what I have going on.
Reminding myself that someone else’s success/happiness does not take away from my own.
I think of it like this:
Every one of us women is like a flower. No matter what it looks like, what colour it it, how it smells like, where it is found or how unique or simple it is in appearance, they’re all beautiful in their own way and even more beautiful in a bouquet that you can’t help but appreciate the artistry of them all.
Basically no matter what you look like, what your personality is or gifts and talents are, you are beautiful simply for being you. In my darkest of depressive episodes when I don’t feel beautiful or intelligent or capable, this is one thought that makes it a bit better and appreciate my fellow woman.🤗❤️
Remind yourself: you’re not in competition with other women, you’re in sisterhood with them. Every time comparison creeps in, shift it into compassion. Celebrate her and return to your own path. You’re not behind you’re growing and that’s enough 💖
Her light doesn’t take away from my light. Ever
Remind myself that I am the only me that has ever lived. I am like no one else. Even if I have similarities with someone, there will always be differences. Physically, mentally, emotionally. To compare myself to anyone would do them and me a disservice.
I return the energy back to me. What’s making me feel the need to compare myself to others? I try to fix that or accept that I simply don’t have what others do.
[removed]
For the love of God, stay off Tik-Tok
I love the color yellow. I also love the color blue. My love for yellow does not diminish my love for blue. And the world would be lesser without either.
That’s how I look at myself and other women. I can celebrate their beauty without diminishing my own.
I’ll divide them into types. Yes, she’s amazing, but I’m just not the same type of appearance as her, I look just as good, but within my type
Stay off TikTok especially but all social media. I went on TikTok seriously for one month and started to feel really ugly and old. As soon as I stopped, those feelings went away.
Radical self acceptance, I don’t compare myself to anyone about anything anymore.
Comparing ourselves is how the patriarchy wants us to self create a hierarchy among women. Fight for male attention, tear each other down, create self-doubt and insecurities. Women are easier to control when they are fighting each other. F-that, we can team up and be the most unstoppable group there is. I don’t need to compare myself to others because my achievements have nothing to do with anyone else’s progress in life.
I do compare myself to other women, just not obsessively. There are times when I see other women who make me feel jealous or insecure. I’ll make a mental note of what I like about them to see if I can try to be more like that, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on it in a negative way. Basically I try to take something positive from it, but I make a point not to wallow in the negative.
I try to live by the phrase “you can’t compete with me; I want us all to win.”
It doesn’t always work, but it helps a lot!
I make it a point to openly compliment other women every single day. If you spend your time looking for the good in people and you spread positivity, you feel pretty great.
Being confident and self assured.
Love myself. I love everything about myself.
Remembering that other people mostly only show off the most glamorous parts of their lives and keep their problems more private. Would I rather have their problems than my problems? Probably not.
I remind myself that yeah that woman may have a figure I wish I had or she’s got a deadly face card but her life is hell with 3 kids as cherries on top and then I don’t envy her package as much.
I deleted social media
I don’t.
I’m not great at keeping up with people in the first place, so I don’t follow what they’re doing. If you do this long enough you’ll find that you really don’t care what other people are up to in relation to yourself.
When I occasionally do watch stories I just like a bunch of them and gas people tf up. I’d rather be internet happy for someone than jealous.
I know there is no comparison. There is no other woman like me.
The older you get the more you realize that the things you tell yourself and reality are very different. The things you see on social media might not be the whole story. I spent so much of my life wishing I was able to get married and have children. Then I made mom friends in my 30s and learned how hard it really is. I realized that I haven’t missed out on as much as I thought. What if I had ended up in a marriage that made me unhappy? What if nothing went the way I wanted?
Sometimes I see women that have nicer handbags and think how I wish I had those. But then I think about what I really like to spend my money on (travel) and that feeling goes away.
I guess for me it’s just about stepping back and seeing the big picture and that’s not easy sometimes. Especially when I feel like I’m struggling just to get through some days.
I don’t.
I’m happy enough with both my external appearance and personality, realising at the same time that there are women far younger, prettier, athletic, smart and talented than me.. I’m still happy to be me. I’m not in a self-adoration delerium, I do have insecurities and neuroses aplenty, but these too are part of who I am.
Once you realise nobody’s perfect, you tend to appreciate being you more.
I guess… I just try to remind myself that we’re all on our own journeys, and social media is just everyone’s highlight reel… you feel me?
Honestly? Some days I don’t. But I’m learning to be kinder to myself and remind myself that my value isn’t diminished just because someone else is shining.
That there will ALWAYS be someone skinnier, prettier, or smarter than me somewhere. Even if I am that person in the room right now.
Comparing myself to others is a waste of time and diminishes the unique light and gifts that I bring to the table. Instead of trying to compete with others and curate myself into what I “think” others want from me, I focus on my strengths and talents and trust that those who are meant for me will find me and appreciate the woman that I am.
I don’t think I have a method. I think I just look at lot of things that other people do and realize that I wouldn’t enjoy doing them. That is generally enough for me. I’m at the age that I really don’t care as much about impressing other people. If I don’t enjoy it, I generally don’t force myself to do it. I also don’t thrive to be perfect. Those perfect people are sometimes willing to go to extremes to achieve perfection or it’s their full time job to maintain a certain image.
I also ask, “Would it be worth it to me devote the time, money, resources, etc needed to be like her?” The answer is generally overwhelmingly no.
Or
I still struggle with this all the time, but here are a few tricks that are helping me learn.
A lot of people would not agree with my parenting style. Which used to bother me a lot. Until I realized that all the teachers for my oldest’s Pre-K (including the teachers for the other class) say how much they love having her because not only is she creative, happy, and polite, but that she cares about her classmates, making sure no one is left out or alone. I also get applauded that all three of my kids have manners and are well behaved by most people who know us, including my friends who haven’t had kids yet. So yeah, fuck those people who tell me my parenting style sucks.
My appearance. I’ve had low self esteem for most of my life (because yay I’ve been compared to my twin my entire life). Plus, I’ve had 3 kids so I’m the biggest size I’ve ever been, which is hard for me to handle some days because I used to be a size 6 (and not smaller because my boobs have always been big). So instead of comparing myself to people online, I’ve looked at them differently. For example, I follow someone on Tiktok because she helps teach girls with curly hair how to properly take care of it many different ways. I follow someone who does OOTD that isn’t super skinny because she shows how to dress for your body type.
Significantly reducing social media helped & curating what content I do consume, away from beauty, fashion etc (for me this has been more art, gardening, DIY) Also being more critical and scrutinising what is filtered and faked online.
Loving other women. Wholeheartedly and with zero chill. We are not each other’s competition, we are a reflection of each other! I am shreds of every woman (and some men and others) that I ever admired. Romantically, platonically, everythingcally, I LOVE women. I’m too busy celebrating the women in my life to be jealous because I find genuine joy in the success, beauty, achievements, and uniqueness of others.
Staying out of social media as much as I can (I basically just respond to messages and post like once in a while)
Learned to let go of past relationships where I felt stuck.
Went to therapy.
Stumbled across great books like ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’, ‘You’re A Badass’, ‘The Let Them Theory‘.
I just use the “I won’t compare myself for now and I’m turning off my phone and gonna do some self care and not think about other people because I know in a few days Im probably gonna feel prettier and be less jealous so for now I’ll just take this as it is and not think too hard about it” method
I am obsessed and busy working on my goals and with myself so much that I don’t even have time to think about other women to compare