What obstacles have you run into keeping your maiden name legally and not changing to your married name?
What obstacles have you run into keeping your maiden name legally and not changing to your married name?
r/AskWomen
What obstacles have you run into keeping your maiden name legally and not changing to your married name?
Comments
Absolutely no obstacles keeping it. Glad I did because name changes really affect everything legally, and then if you get divorced, reverting back?
It’s my name. I’m not changing it.
None, only issue is people assuming I have my husband’s name on legal documents.
None. Just don’t take partners name.
I’m debating right now between my “have to spell out every time I say it” name and my partner’s easy to spell, easy to pronounce, 1 syllable name. because damn wouldn’t that be nice.
My wife kept hers professionally (as she’d already built up a career/reputation) and took mine for personal things (to share the same name as our children for example). Best of both worlds.
My mom kept her maiden name and one time when we were going through TSA together they didn’t believe she was my actual mom for some reason??
Only one issue. I kept my maiden name because I wanted to honor my grandfather. The only real issue is that my last name comes with a REALLY bad reputation of drug cartel stuff- so every time I apply for something, they make me prove that I’m not incarcerated.
I actually changed my name to my husbands last name, then changed it back to mine 5.5 years later (still happily married) because I wish I’d never changed it in the first place. No issues. Kids have husbands last name (oldest kid has my last name as a middle name), we travel with their birth certificates so it’s never an issue. We live in a conservative area, so people will assume I have his name, but that doesn’t bother me. Everything, including social media, is just my name.
None, though I worry now that I have a baby and we have different last names. But nothing has come up yet with getting the birth certificate or any papers.
No obstacles at all. I sometimes get called “Mrs. Husband’s last name” but I wouldn’t say that’s an obstacle and I don’t really care if people refer to me that way.
zip, zero, nada.
even while traveling with my son, who has my husbands last name! I love my last name and just didn’t wanna say farewell to that part of my identity
Kept my last name. No issue.
We don’t have kids but my mother took my step father’s last name when they married so they had a different last name than my brother and I. We never had issues, at least not that I saw.
I took my kids to the doctor( they look exactly like me) and the nurse was like ” and you are? .
None, it’s tons of paperwork to get it changed and cost money.
I was going to change my last name, but it ended up being such a hassle. I married later in life so I had more documents to do name changes with.
Keeping my maiden name has been a non issue. Sometimes people refer to me with my husband’s name, which doesn’t matter to me.
I kept my maiden name, because my 1st name and his last name sounds horrible together, and I’m lazy and didn’t want to go through the hassle.
Our son has his last name.
Never had an issue with school for our kiddo, no one blinks an eye about it.
No concrete obstacles.
Just assumptions made by others! It’s never been more than a minor inconvenience, but occasionally, someone I’m doing business with by phone (company, school, etc), will assume that since I don’t share a last name, I’m not his spouse, or not our kids’ Mom.
Occasionally, there is extra paperwork.
The only issue so far was when I was hospitalized they called my husband Mr (my last name). Which he just thought was funny but nbd.
none, other than ive had people write checks to “shelby husbandsurname” and that’s not my name. usually its to both of us though, so he deposits it. the kids will get my name as a surname and his will be a second middle to hopefully avoid any parentage confusion.
Someone wrote a wedding gift check made out to my name with my husbands last name 🙃
I didn’t think it was necessary to announce that I’m not taking his last name, but I guess this could be avoided if you do that
No obstacles. I’m getting married next month and I have every intention of keeping my current name. Partly because I’m known by that name in my industry, where I have a really professional big-girl job.
Also, it’s ethnically Japanese, and I’m choosing to keep it in memory of my parents. My fiancé is the son of Dutch immigrants and he has a very obvious Dutch name, which just doesn’t match my complexion. So there’s that too.
I used my maiden name for quite a few years. Then, when the kids started school, it was a bit of a challenge, so I hyphenated it. This allowed me to still use my maiden name and avoid changing many things, and I could choose which name to use for each situation. So the school has me down with the same last name as the kids.
Absolutely none. I gave my kids my last name as their middle names ( it’s a unisex first name) but it’s never really come up.
No real issues. The one weird thing is making sure my grandparents know I kept my name if they are updating any documentation because they are a bit more traditional and assumed I’d change it.
I haven’t had obstacles, but I’ll occasionally get a card or a message sent to the both of us addressed to “Mr & Mrs husband’s name” and I’ve had to correct that.
Haven’t run into any issues, I was adamant about keeping my last name. I have several cousins on my dad’s side but I’m the only one with the last name of my grandparents (marriage, step children, etc) and my grandparents always pointed that out. They’re long passed, but I can’t just change my name and let the name end with me (I’m also the youngest of the grandchildren). I like my last name too. If my husband and I have kids, they’ll have my last name, his brothers all have kids so that name-line isn’t in any danger of dying out.
None at all.
None. One person once double checked with me shortly after we were married what my last name was. That was like 16-17 years ago. Other than that it has literally never been an issue at all.
Our daughter says it’s much easier keeping her maiden name. (She doesn’t care for her husband’s last name anyway)
None at all. It’s the simplest thing to do.
You have to change your new name everywhere, that’s the ball ache, so to keep your maiden name means you don’t have to do this. Easy.
My husband’s family refuses to use my actual name. Just an annoyance in the long run.
Only “issue” was when we received checks as wedding gifts; guest would sometimes put my husband’s full name, and my first name with his last name. We have joint checking so so long as one of the names are correct, you can still deposit the check, so it wasn’t a true issue
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Some people call me Mrs. maiden name. End of list.
None aside from social (people assuming his last name is mine or vice versa)
None whatsoever
Asian women don’t change their last names after marriage. I kept that tradition even though I was born here and haven’t had any problems. My mom did say there was some awkwardness when she needed to get us from school early. I’m not sure if they’re more strict about that nowadays
Changed it the first time. This time…I’m keeping the one I was born with
I did not take my husband’s name and haven’t had issues with it. I have heard friends (who have published papers) have issues when they changed their last name.
In terms of our kid, no issues there either – whether school or doctor. Mainly since those establishments seem to get that families come in all shapes and sizes.
That said, people will assume my last name is the same as my husband’s and son’s on invites and stuff. Doesn’t really bother me nor do I correct people.
Kept mine 25 years ago expecting drama. I had no drama. My kid is mixed race and got his dad’s last name and coloring and I expected THAT to cause problems and it never did either. Separated 13 years ago and am so glad I never changed anything.