19F – So I’m going to have sex for the first time soon but I’m honestly kinda confused about what order things go in. I know that there is absolutely no cut and dry rule or a right and wrong but I need an idea. Is it pretty standard to both go down on each other every time before PIV? If so who usually goes down on who first? (This is with a man). If I’m giving him head but there will be PIV after do I go until he’s finished? How often can I guy finish? I know these are probably laughable but I need answers thank you
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Real basic, one partner will generally lead the experience. There is no order. Guy can cum again but it generally takes 15-45 minutes to recharge from refractory period
You do whatever you want to do. You’re overthinking it. Just relax and it’ll be fine. Things will just sort of happen if you let them, and you should.
You have the basic idea. But different people are different like you say, and comfortable with different things. Doing those things is convenient too because it’s a way to both please your partner in the moment and get the systems up and going to prepare for later.
Guys will finish most all the time, but men can get just as nervous as women and our little friend can definitely be a fickle beast. So don’t feel bad if things don’t go as planned.
Left, then right.
This is how me and my girl had it the first time:
Passionate makeout – fingering her while kissing – she going down on me – then 69 – then me going down on her – then after she is highly turned on and wet enough – she herself says lets fuck – then PIV
66
Oral is not required before or after PIV. Nor is PIV required before or after Oral. It’s okay to do one without doing the other.
My wife and I never really go in any set order?
The only thing that we do the same every time is I give her foreplay for maybe 30ish minutes. Probably 4 or 5 orgasms worth before I even think about PiV.
Sometimes from there we’ll jump into missionary or she’ll hop on top. When she goes to hop on top she’ll give me like a little bit of some super sloppy toppy just to add to the wetness down there.
We usually finish in doggy since it’s our favorite position and is a good closing position mainly because if we do doggy style I’m done. I can’t go more than like 2 minutes before I finish because of doggy style. Her giant ass jiggle hypnosis charms the cum out of me like a snake charmer.
Talk to the guy, not to strangers on the internet.
Do whatever feels right and good. Just be safe and use protection if he says they don’t fit he’s a filthy liar or he’s allergic then get non allergin.
Try new things. And always remember you can say no at anytime you don’t feel comfortable.
Be safe have fun.
You don’t need to do any specific sex act. Generally guys can orgasm once and completely lose interest after, so make sure if you want an orgasm you have one first and do all the stuff you want to try before he orgasms. Also use 2 forms of protection and make sure you’re both enthusiastically consenting for anything you do.
Some people absolutely go down on each other every time, some use hands, the important thing is to ensure both are fully aroused before penetration.
For you, that will feel like wanting to breathe more deeply or quickly, your vagina opening a little more and being a little “looser”, and ideally producing a huge mess of lubrication. If you feel like you’re spending too long on foreplay, you’re not – I recommend no penetration until you just can’t think about whether you are doing it right anymore.
I personally prefer not even getting into PIV with someone until I’ve had a couple sexual encounters and learned each others bodies and likes and dislikes a bit, but your mileage may vary
Men have a refractory period that increases with age. Most likely a marathon session won’t be an issue at your age.
Communicate.
While deep throating may be phenomenal in porn and appearance, it’s very different in reality. The majority of the sensation is in the tip, not the shaft.
For PIV, the entrance is a lot lower than men are usually prepared for so you really should take the lead in guiding.
Please be safe with condoms, used appropriately. There should be a pocket on the tip top to squeeze air out and roll it down. This is done so that it can catch how it’s supposed to. Multiple forms of BC are recommended to avoid little people until you’re ready.
All of the above is possible, and how often a guy can cum and how long doe s he need to recharge depends on the person. Also, you don’t have to go all in the first time. You can just explore each other bodies without it necessarily leading to penis in vagina sex. You can just do handjobs, give each other orals, play around, find the sensitive spots, get each others bodies known, so that anxiety drops and you also just feel the vibe and learn how to communicate during it (could be words, could be gestures.. But you have to have some form of communication so that you both know that the partner is comfortable) . And at some point it feels right to continue further. Keep a condom nearby to avoid the awkward “let me get out of the bed and look for one for 5 minutes”
1 Make out 2 Hand Stuff 3 I go down on her 4 We do PIV.
This is probably the most basic scenario but has the most potential of both of you getting off.
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Anal then oral of course.
Intense game of pickleball, slab of ribs, hours of passion.
How do I stop seeing questions like these??????
It might be awkward at first but just have fun with it and go with the flow. And it doesn’t have to be a one-and-done thing. If you don’t find your rhythm during round one, maybe you’ll find it in round two or three
there is no order, like in porn. Let it go.
So, yeah here’s the basic rundown.
First you do foreplay, this can include but is not limited to oral. This can seriously be anything you want it’s all about just making you two as excited and comfortable as possible. Some tips though.
If you can get the girl to cum during foreplay it’s usually for the best. Most girls cannot cum from PIV alone, and once a guy cums they are usually out for at least 10-15 minutes, but sometimes for the day. Most girls on the other hand have little to no problem continuing after they cum, they might need a little break from clitoral stimulation, but that usually even that only lasts a minute or two.
Oral on the guy especially just before PIV is a kind of trick because it keeps the guy really hard, it desensitizes the guy a bit (at least for me) making him last a little longer, and it makes the dick wet, so it’s easier to slip it into the vagina. Lube though can largely replace this.
have fun should be laughter and giggles just let the flow take you (:
First foreplay (can be skippable)
Second handjob or blowjob
Third go crazy with your imagination with position
if a man overthought sex this hard he’d never be able to keep an erection. just flow with it. you got this
I would definitely start with kissing, heavy kissing. Anything after that is fair game
You should wait until marriage.
Take it slow and make sure your body is warmed up before any piv. This could simply be from kissing and cuddling first, or more adventurous foreplay.
Don’t go ass to vagina (some would argue ass to mouth is true love) but pretty much everything else doesn’t matter.
A good tip is for him to go down on you first. If he orgasms before you do his body will want to shut down and 😴 and he needs to fight against that and won’t be as into it. Make sure you both take your time with foreplay and try to not rub your teeth against his dick when you do oral (although a minority of guys like it). You don’t have to suck or blow like most people think, just let your tongue and lips move over his shaft and head and if you want him to cum start slow and build up faster and faster.
I’m (23 F) going to tell you a lot of things I wish I understood back then. Please feel free to ask if you have any more questions.
Talk to him about your worries. And if he’s not open to that then you’re not ready or he’s not the right guy. Trust and safety goes above all, or it can really quickly become a traumatic experience.
Take your time and listen to your desires. Listen to your thoughts: where do you want to touch him? Where do you like being touched? Tell him when you enjoy something and ask him if he likes what you’re doing. Ask him if he has anything he wants. Sex is a conversation.
Still, a few basics that can take the fear away:
a. It’s ok to plan, but don’t force yourself to follow that plan to a t.
b. Take your time getting closer. Only go further once you actually want to. Never because you feel like you have to.
c. If you give each other oral, it’s a good thing for him to go down on you first, since you can orgasm more often and quicker. And you getting oral first is going to ensure enough lubrication for any further steps.
d. Since this is your first time, giving oral is going to be difficult. It’s tricky, you’ll need practice and patience. So don’t expect to get him to orgasm on the first try. Just do it a little until your jaw starts to hurt or until you want to kiss him/be closer to him again. There’s no need to get uncomfortable, especially not on your first time. There’s still time for the difficult stuff when you’ll do it another day.
e. For the love of God don’t forget protection.
f. Talk about aftercare beforehand, so you’re not shivering alone once he’s done. Maybe even think of snacks and a movie so you can cuddle, wind down and maybe even go for another (or a few more) round afterwards.
g. Pee afterwards so you don’t get a UTI. Hydrate.
h. Get enough condoms. The night can get long and you don’t want to run out of them. Especially since you could make a mistake while putting it on and have to get a new one (which is normal, just be prepared).
i. Before you have sex with him, do a simpel test: Kiss him and then “change your mind”. Watch his reaction.
If he pouts, nags, complains, continues anyways: don’t trust him.
If he reacts positively and doesn’t make you feel bad for saying no (“no” has many forms which he can understand. Him not hearing your no is fake, if he “didn’t hear” it then that means he ignored it. You wouldn’t misunderstand him being hesitant as a yes either, after all.)
This is incredibly important. If you notice him not reacting to your no, talk to him about it. If he’s decent, he’ll listen and learn. If not, he has a very high chance of raping you. (He might not see it as rape but you’ll know)
Some more:
Tell a close friend about it afterwards.
Talk to him as much as you can.
Decide on a safe word, yes it’s not just for bdsm.
My personal safe words are “wait” and “no”, because I mean it when I say that. Tell him that you mean what you say.
Communication is so incredibly important, I just can’t stress it enough.
And most important of all: always listen to your gut and stop when you’re no longer feeling it.
If you can stop if you see him being uncomfortable, then he can do the same.
You are not there to be pleasing, you are there to be pleased. Which, by the way, is the most attractive thing you can do: have fun for yourself, with him. Not for him. If he likes you enough to want to have sex with you and you trust him enough to do the same, then you can relax and focus on having a good time. Enjoy the moment and do what you want to do.
For example, if you want to start with oral, then do PIV stop to kiss, do some hand stuff, oral again, change positions, PIV, take a break, get a drink and continue where you left off, then that’s perfect. Every order is perfect. As long as you’re feeling good doing it. It’s not a race to the finish line, or you’d just both get a vibrator and orgasm right away. It’s not about the orgasm, it’s about everything else.
I know this is a lot. I hope I didn’t confuse you any further. So there you go. Listen to yourself and talk about it. Consent it hot.
If you have to ask such questions, either DO NOT have sex. OR make DAMN SURE you’re not procreating.
If you’re going to have sex for the first time, it probably won’t even last long enough to even think what order to do things in lol. But in all seriousness just enjoy it and go at your pace, there is no order, you go with the flow and what you’re comfortable with.
First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry
Don’t think and don’t plan because each time is different and what makes it so especial and exciting is the spontaneity. If you plan what to do at the moment it will makes you nervous and you will not enjoy it as much or at all.
Just pay attention in the moment and how you and he feels. Slowly try things to communicate what you want like kissing, touching his chest or his thigh when sitting together. He will also try things and you can let it if you feel comfortable with it or asking him to slow down or stop if you suddenly feel not ready for it. With this process you can go step by step all the way to the end. But what exactly to do only the moment and how you and he feels in the moment can tell.
If you feel stucked or feel body language is not helping enough, you can just say it, “can I kiss you”?, “can I take your shirt off”? Or if you feel not ready or comfortable with something you can say “slow down”, “give me some time to get ready” or “stop”.
The only universal rule is communication and respect each other and yourself. If for some reason something doesn’t feel right and it has to stop it is nobody fault. And whatever didn’t happen that you and he wished to happen can always try again next time if both agree.
And the ultimate rule and goal is to relax. As long you feel safe, ready and so relaxed everything is alright.
About giving head, you can do it as long as you and he are enjoying it, or until you and he are ready or decided to do something else, Iike PIV. About how long you can give head before he finish or if he can keep going and finish twice, only he knows his body.
Use a condom unless you’re planning on having a baby or are interested in sexually transmitted infections/diseases
Hiii, I’m 19f too 🙂 and I’ve been sexually active with my bf for a year and a half now!
To answer your questions: no, both people don’t have to go down on each other, but it helps a lot. Who goes first comes down to preference. It’s beneficial to you if you cum at least once if he eats you out, but you don’t wanna make him cum before sex because men have a “cool down period” (how long depends on the man) before they can get hard again.
Here’s my general advice now:
Focus a lot on foreplay, especially for you. Most women can’t come from penetration alone but more foreplay will make it feel way better and make an orgasm more likely.
For foreplay, you guys can kiss, maybe ride his leg fully clothed, give him a hand job while he fingers you, oral for one or both (giving is as good as receiving for foreplay imo)
Make sure yall communicate a lot when you do or don’t like something. People aren’t mind readers and although it can be uncomfortable, directly expressing your desires will do wonders for you guys in the long run.
And finally, this is cliche, but the ultimate tip to have a great experience is just to relax. Don’t let any thoughts or insecurities weigh down your experience. He wants to have sex with you because he does find you attractive. Also, sex is also meant to be animalistic so don’t worry about any noises/faces you’re making that you feel are weird. I promise he doesn’t think the same.
Enjoy yourself! I hope this helped! 🙂
Do whatever feels right
Most of the comments are correct, you’re overthinking it. However, don’t give him head to completion. Not many men can come back from that without ruining the moment
There’s no set script, but ideally there needs to be enough foreplay that you are absolutely physically ready (wet enough) for PiV sex to be easy and not painful.
You should also bear in mind that many people don’t have an earth-shattering, mind-bending first time. Awkwardness, nerves and inexperience often all combine to make it more “Is that it?! Is that what everyone raves about?!” than “OMFG!!!”.
Do what feels natural to you – not all intimate moments need to have oral. Sometimes there’s passion with just kissing and penetration.
Lots of foreplay. Then everything but going all the way. Some role play mixed in – this don’t get forced but it can be as simple as dirty talk or once I just adlibbed this hot locker room scenario with me as the team captain. Then we escalate to home base.
Lol I know it’s your first time and that can bring on a lot of different emotions but I promise if you think this hard about it when it happens instead of just doing what you want/feel you’re not going to enjoy it.
From start to finish.
tbh its all depending on what youre feeling. there is no wrong way to start as long as both of you are enjoying the moment.
Try not to overthink it. Usually it’ll start with a heavy make out session which will get you both aroused. Foreplay is usually next but not always. What you do in foreplay is up to you. One person can use their hands or mouth on the other, you both can, and there’s no set timing for that. Foreplay can last 5 minutes or 30 minutes or even longer. There’s no rules and you’re just meant to go with the flow. If you’d both like to continue (you don’t have to if you’re not ready) then you can lead into penetration. Just have fun, don’t overthink it or think of a check list. Don’t panic if he did something to you but you didn’t to him, that doesn’t matter as there’s always next time. If either of you don’t want a particular part (eg you don’t want him to go down on you) that’s ok, just communicate it to your partner and carry on with something else if you want to continue. Remember you can withdraw consent at any time and there’s no shame in that. Sex is meant to be fun, not stressful. 💕
Start and end with forehead kiss
The only important ones:
You basically just make out until a weird craving of further things start happening. Don’t stress it and experiment with things that feel good to you and your partner. Don’t worry about being good or bad and just enjoy the situation.
Just put your left foot in and take your left foot out, put your left foot in and then you shake it all about. Do the hokey pokey and turn around, that’s what it’s all about.
Stop thinking of it as a performance and start thinking of it as permission to try whatever you feel like trying.
Maybe you don’t want to go down on your partner? Maybe you do, but you just want to try it for a bit to see what it’s like. Maybe that’s all you want to do because the thought is hot to you. Maybe you just want to make them happy so you focus on finding out what their fantasy is and doing that. Maybe one of you has a fantasy they want to roleplay or talk about first and then do p in v?
The “correct” way is whatever way you feel like in the moment and your partner is comfortable with.
Don’t forget the tennis racket!
Most important: Communication with your partner is important! It’s nothing to be ashamed about, being nervous is normal, and if he doesn’t understand that, then he should not take your virginity!
Oral first is okay but not necessary. Girl cumming first is beneficial!!
guy cumming before piv: can be fine, but
Also never go from Anal to PIV or oral
Take your time with eachother, cuddle after cleaning up, or at least spend more time together.
Order? Ime, the best sex is one of the most spontaneous, least orderly activities ever. The best is the kind you can laugh through.
The only order I can think of to recommend is if it’s PIV to make sure the woman has an orgasm prior to penetration. This will increase natural lube and tone the walls of the vagina, which reportedly improves the sensation for the man as well. Having had an orgasm without penetration increases the chances of her achieving one from penetration as well. It can improve the experience for both parties.
Let him go down on you first. Feminism n shii😂✊And don’t go down on a guy who doesn’t go down.
What seems to work best for me is making out to giving the girl head, then piv, then finally she finishes the guy off with head or sum else. This makes piv last longer for both people and the girl goes straight from warmed up from head to piv which seems to make piv better. This may work best for me but everybody’s different.
I wouldn’t look at it as a checklist. When my partner and I have sex it is different every time from positions, we both might go down on each other or one might go down and the other might not depending how both of us are feeling.
The only consistent thing that should happen is frequent communication, no one can read minds. If something hurts or is uncomfortable tell them! If something they are doing is really working for you let them know!
Sex doesn’t end when the man finishes. If you haven’t finished and you want to keep going he should use his fingers or go down on you or use a toy. Typically men can only finish once. So if you’re going down on him and both if you want PIV in the same session I’d not let him finish via oral!
Give him oral to completion.
Have him give you oral to completion, this way he can recharge.
Sex.
Just make out, take each others clothes off start touchin and rubbin and suckin till you feel you need to be fuckin and then do that. Nobody is there to judge you! If you’re in your head about what comes next and how long it should last before you do the next thing you won’t be able to enjoy it. just relax and have fun, and most of all be safe!
You can start with making out. Just ease into everything else. It’s different for everyone and you shouldn’t ignore your desire in order to just fulfill his. And it depends a lot on his experience too. So if he is fairly young (mid 20s or lower) he can reload fairly quick. And if he hasn’t much experience, you can give oral to completion, and that will help him last longer on intercourse. However, with someone new, guys want to get into the v pretty quick. Number one rule: go at your own pace, with what you’re comfortable with. Don’t overthink and have fun.
When wife wants it…..
First put it in…..then pull it out. Repeat.
Bun, lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapeño, cheese, patty, and finish with the second piece of the bun…oh wait… nah dude you’re definately too in your head about it. Let things flow naturally, your first time is either going to be 50/50 in the sense it will either be something you will remember in a good way or in a bad one. Nobody learns what they like or what they dont without trial and error. So many of us reading can offer you what works for us but everyone is different so you should take advice with a grain of salt. Relax and just go with the flow. Be safe OP. Thats the only piece of advice i’d offer. Communicatw with your partner or the person you’re going to be intimate with, the best way to learn what works is asking them directly. Relationship or not communication is a godsend.
Go with the flow. Learn what you each like. And foreplay…. ALLLLLLLL THE FOREPLAY. My wife and I have better sex after 15 years of marriage than we ever did.
It’s usually just a heat of the moment thing, you both can go down on each other at the same time if neither of you want to take turns. You also don’t have to go down on each other first. He could always finish while you’re going down on him to avoid pregnancy (unless he wears a condom). It usually depends on the guy to determine how many times he can finish. My man has finish several times and could still keep going. I’m not sure how but it’s impressive. It also helps the more intimate you guys are, the more you’ll learn about what they like and don’t like
Totally not laughable — everyone wonders this at first! There’s no fixed order, just communication and comfort. Some start with kissing, maybe oral (whoever feels like it first), then PIV. If you’re giving head before PIV, don’t go until he finishes unless that’s the plan. And yes, most guys can finish once, maybe twice with recovery time. Just talk, go slow, and have fun! 💕
Just do what comes (pardon the pun) naturally, if its a partner you’re going to be with over time then you’ll both figure out what each of you likes and be able to work that into your experience. There’s no set order, no set rules other than what works for the two of you.
Ask your partner what they want. Listen to your own body, and what it wants.
I keep it on Shuffle. Switch Discovery Mode on when I’m feeling extra feisty.
Make it your own. Follow the mood/desire.
Just know and respect your own and others preferences and boundaries. Confirm consent all around. Talk is good to have before, during (creatively, or it’s awkward), and after.
Have fun and be safe.
Removal of lower body clothing items is a requirement before PIV intercourse.
If the plan is for him to finish inside of you then it is a good idea for him to get you off first as it’s not that likely you will have an orgasm from penetration alone. Additionally, once he ejaculates he is likely to at least for some time be less sexually aroused and so another reason for him to ensure you come and then he comes. Finally, you will likely find intercourse more pleasurable if you’ve just had an orgasm. Hope that helps and please use reliable birth control as well as take precautions for STDs.
You have order in the list of consent, foreplay, consent, sex, consent, sex, stop if you don’t want it, don’t stop if you do, climax
Then shake hands informal or formal then you both go to the toilet
First, stay safe.
Second, stay safe.
Don’t play Russian Roulette with STDs nor unwanted pregnancies.
And never forget consent is key. And can be revoked at any time.
You do whatever is natural in the moment. Take care of each other, have fun. If you want PIV, don’t let him finish orally. There’s a good chance that’s where it all stops.
You can do anal after vaginal but never the other way around. Also don’t let your partner penetrate if you aren’t lubricated or wet. Those are 2 hard rules of the game. You’re just anxious and probably excited about the unknown. 69 is a good position to get warmed up, then missionary or doggy are classic positions. Cowgirl is another great one. Look up sexplanations on YouTube for more information. Play safe young one
Girl do not finish him first thats the opposite of the golden rule! Happy humping 🫶🏻
uhm…. Penis in Vagina. Anything else is just being extra.
That’s not to say that extra is bad; it’s usually entertaining, but it’s not necessary.
Foreplay is important! Its essential that you are both in the right mood and headspace. It can also help physically prepare both partners (an erection and being wet make PIV much easier and more pleasurable). Its alao good to keep in mind that PIV is not the end all be all of sex. I have had many encounters where that wasnt expected or given but we both had a great time. Just do what feels natural and do what you and your partner want. Sex should be about what you want, and not what you think is supposed to happen. Just relax into the vibe, trust your partner, and have a great time. Stay safe!
Post after post I see people complaining about men watching porn yet in reality I see only women whose brains are addled by it.
“Going down” it’s literally porn shit. No form of fellatio needs to be included in foreplay. You should be wet enough after cuddling fingering and kissing for your partner to go in.
Most men are a one and done so if he cums sex is over. So i wouldn’t recommend a blow job if you want piv sex. Unless he says he’s someone who goes more than once. Or unless you only want oral.
Enjoy the moment. You gonna be bumpin uglies. He’ll have a recharge time. It’s a sniper rifle, not an uzi.
Sex isn’t a recipe, it’s more like jazz — some rhythm, some improv, and hopefully both people finishing the set happy. Oral doesn’t have to be mutual or in order, just enthusiastic. Communication > choreography
Just go with the flow
I normally go to sleep first, then have the worst sex ever and then i wake up, but that’s just me though
You can go in any order you feel like but remember the golden rules:
Never go from ass to vagina and pee after.
Youngest to oldest
Foreplay,sex, wakeup, realise was a dream
Usually alphabetical, but sometimes we go oldest to youngest
It is definitely not standard to have oral first.
Do whatever you and your partner are enjoying. There is no order; this assumption is usually based on heterosexual porn narratives. It is normal to take breaks, get tired, fart, laugh, change your mind, scratch your ass and try new things.
Mostly importantly remember the definition of consent: to be able to give a non coercive yes and the ability to revoke that yes at any time without fear of repercussion.
Usually talk, touch, kissing, heavy touching, clothes come off, body kisses, oral on her, oral on him(me), then slow+gentle piv.
I cum first, then have sex. Condom at the end for the cherry on top.
if its his first time too, or he’s close to your age, you guys will just be flopping around for a few minutes awkwardly until he nuts and hopefully he finger you while you finish yourself off. Then you will learn each others bodies over time if youre still together.
The order is : shower – foreplay – sex – cuddling.
Step 1. Remove clothes.
Step 2. Physical contact.
Step 3. ?????
Step 4. Profit.
Kiss, first and second base, blow, single penetration, then double .
> Is it pretty standard to both go down on each other every time before PIV?
No. Not at all. I would think most people don’t do that.
You can though. Or you can start with PIV and then go for oral. Or go back and fourth.