What should I do if we both love each other but her family won’t let us be together? M21 and F21

Hey Reddit,

I’m 21M, and I’m stuck in one of the most emotionally confusing situations of my life. I’d really appreciate some advice.

There’s this girl (21F) I’ve had a crush on since college started. She was the one person I could never talk to properly—probably because I liked her too much. We were never close, but I always admired her from afar. I never confessed anything because she had already rejected someone in our class, and I didn’t want to end up the same way.

Cut to our final semester—college was coming to an end, and I told myself, “It’s now or never.” So, just two days before our final exams, I finally told her I liked her. She didn’t reject me outright—she said we should talk more. After that, we started chatting a lot and even went on a movie date. She lied to her parents saying she was staying late for exam prep just to go out with me.

During that movie date, I told her how my friends were telling me to hold her hand, but I didn’t do it because I wanted to wait until she was truly comfortable. She told me she respected that a lot—and that she always found me genuine. She said the reason she rejected other guys was because she felt they only wanted her for her looks, not for who she really is.

But just before our last exam, she told me she didn’t love me back. That hurt like hell. I accepted it quietly and didn’t share anything with anyone.

On our last day, the class planned a mall and lunch outing together. No one knew what had happened between us. We ended up on the same scooter somehow, and I purposely took a longer route to spend a little more time with her. I saw her crying during the ride, and she said it was because college was ending.

But later, when her cap flew off and I stopped to get it, I came back and saw her crying again. This time I gently pushed her to tell me the truth—and she finally said she does love me. But she gave me a fake rejection because her family is extremely conservative and we’re from different religions (not Muslim or Christian, but still different enough to be an issue). She said dating wouldn’t lead anywhere because eventually her family will never let us marry, and she didn’t want to hurt either of us more by starting something that has no future.

At the mall, I joked about the “holding hands” thing again—and she instantly held my hand, even interlocked her fingers with mine. It felt like magic. We walked hand in hand until she got a phone call and let go. After the call, she didn’t reach for my hand again. I got a bit distant and told her, “Don’t hold my hand if you don’t want to.” A minute later, she silently pulled me close.

At lunch, we held hands the entire time. We even fed each other. She told me she’d miss me the most and would never find someone like me. I asked her again why we couldn’t just try dating. She said, “Because we’ll fall deeper, and one day it’ll hurt even more when we realize we can’t end up together.” She said I deserve someone who’ll fight for me—and that she doesn’t want to break my heart later.

But the thing is… she fell for me when I wasn’t even at my best. I’m overweight, not that attractive, but she saw my heart. She said I was a rare guy who genuinely cared and didn’t see her through a lens of lust. And I can’t help but love someone like that, even more.

We even tried asking her older sister for advice, but she wouldn’t even talk to me.

So now I’m here. We love each other. She admitted she would’ve dated me in a heartbeat if not for her family. But she’s convinced it’s better to end it now than get hurt later.

I don’t want to let go of someone who actually loves me for who I am. I want to date her, even if we don’t know what the future holds. Is that a bad decision?

TL;DR:
I (21M) confessed to a girl (21F) I’ve liked for years right before college ended. She said she didn’t love me, but later admitted she does—her conservative family (we’re from different religions) is the only reason she can’t be with me. She doesn’t want to start something if it can’t end in marriage. I still want to date her. What should I do?

This isn’t an AI story—I used AI only to correct grammar and make things clearer.