I’m a 20M, I’m not in a relationship at the moment, I’m not married and to be clear have zero plans to get married for a few more years.
However I’m curious from the married guys on here, what do you wish every single 20 year old dude like me knew about marriage?
Could be something profound or something simple. And doesn’t matter if it’s negative or positive. Also do you have any advice on how to make a marriage successful?
Tagged NSFW just in case
Comments
Don’t get married until 30 at the earliest, preferably 35.
If you want no money, less sex & grief
Get married 😭😭
Make sure you marry someone with matching goals / ideals.
Don’t be thinking about marriage at 20 years old lad, get out amongst it and have fun.
There is no such thing as equality in marriage. You can only strive to meet the expectations that you have agreed to fulfil.
Don’t do it.
I’m not married due to a lot of different staff getting in a way, but we’ve been together with my fiancé for 7 years now. I’d say every relationship is very different. the only thing that has to be there is for both of you to understand that marriage or relationships are a partnership, not a war. You are there to help and support each other, not to win/lose arguments.
Also, probably keep in mind that it is a huge labor to keep a relationship going after a few years. You should never stop paying attention to your partner. Make random gifts(no need to spend money, I did a few sticky notes with compliments and put them to the places she often use, she keeps it till this day, it’s been 5 years) or organize dates, never stop telling that you love your partner
Getting married isn’t the end of the road for a relationship, it’s just the beginning. You need to keep doing the things you did before you were married, and more.
Don’t get married just because it’s the next step in the relationship. The relationship escalator is real and needs to be handled deliberately.
Don’t let outsiders cloud your relationship. It’s you and your spouse, always. Make decisions together and communicate all the time. Too many people around you will try to tell you how to live your lives, the only opinions that matter are yours and your spouses (missing apostrophe?)
It’s not the panacea single guys think it is.
Rule 1: don’t.
You can live basically the same life unmarried as you can married.
Sign a prenup to protect yourself and assets.
If you’re married for 10 years and make 100k a year and she makes 100k a year then you’ll be stuck with alimony for years to life.
The divorce system highly favors women over men, during mine I was going -300 a month and the courts basically told me I have to work overtime to figure it out versus reducing payment to ensure I don’t drown in debt.
Just make sure you’re marrying the person for who they are and not what they look like. If you have a single doubt then don’t do it.
Also I recommend living with them for a year or two before getting married, usually when living together partners will show their “true side” which means you can filter out the good from the bad partners.
The person that seems like the right one isn’t always. The one that seems like the wrong one might not be. It can be great like some I’ve seen, or 30 years of slow torture like my parents. Don’t stay married just for the kids. Friends make the best partners, but they have to be the right kind of friend for you. I know plenty of couples that are great friends, but a dumpster fire of steaming turds when a couple. Also, get used to mundanity. Eventually the fireworks, the sex, and and other stuff settles. It shouldn’t die, but it won’t be as constant. Find someone you can enjoy the quiet and boredom with, but whom also is still intriguing and refreshing every day. And learn to take advantage of all the tax breaks and avoid the penalties afforded for the legal side of marriage. It’s both an act of romance and a business agreement. Treat it accordingly.
You’ve already heard that half of marriages end in divorce, but keep in mind that when you look at the other half, a decent % are just unhappy and never leave. So successful marriages are unfortunately the minority. For me, that’s just a little reminder that you really should have high standards for compatibility when choosing a spouse. You want to find a relationship that feels like it’s much better than the average.