This is a problem I’m currently dealing with so I thought I’d open it up to get some more perspectives. It might be a little all over the place but I’ll try and keep it ordered.
Looking back, I’ve always suffered from anxiety, sometimes it masqueraded as different behaviours, but over the last few years when I’ve been able to identify it, I can see that it was there all along.
Over the last few years I’ve tried to do a lot of work on myself, identifying problem areas and trying to improve, obviously there have been some ups and downs along the way. I have tried all sorts for my anxiety – routine, good sleep, doing things I enjoy, I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs, I don’t do things that I know make me overly anxious, I’ve cut toxic ties, I’ve tried meditation and exercise and CBD oil.
Anyway, over the last 2 years I’ve had a very stressful work situation. I worked 2 jobs for most of it and 1 of them was very toxic and draining so, I left. This was totally the right thing to do and I am grateful I took that step every day. However, my anxiety didn’t really go, if anything it got worse and it was a bit harder to deal with cos I didn’t really have anything to attach it to, I wasn’t anxious about work anymore. My personal life is very stable and secure. I was able to spend more time doing the things that are important to me etc.
So I went to the doctor’s and was back and forth a few times and then in the end they put me on some SSRIs that work well for anxiety. I’ve been on them 6 weeks now and I definitely think I’m less anxious and my partner and family have noticed too. The problem I have now is, I don’t really know what to do now the anxiety is gone. It’s like that was my driving force behind everything, it pushed me so much. I’d get up early in the mornings cos I was worried if I didn’t I’d not have enough time to get stuff done. I feel like I’ve lost that thing kicking me to do more and feel better. I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing, I’m fully trying to embrace being chill. Right now I’m sat on the sofa chilling with my dogs waiting for my partner who’s having a (much deserved) lie in. We made plans to go to the gym over an hour ago, normally I’d be freaking out that we’re not gonna have enough time to do everything etc etc. But now I’m chilled about it, because I’m not driven by the anxiety and can see the bigger picture and can appreciate that he deserves a rest and I’m happy with my dogs meanwhile, but I just worry that I’m gonna turn into an unmotivated slob 😆
I’ve been dealing with a lot the last few months and have had some ups and downs so I’m really trying to allow myself time to rest and relax, but now I’m treating my anxiety, I’m just worried that I’m not gonna be able to snap out of it? Like, am I listening to my body or am I just being lazy?
I should maybe also mention I’m currently waiting to get assessed for ADHD, and I know that executive dysfunction is something I struggle with too, but the waiting list is so long.
I guess I’m just anxious now about not being anxious and looking for any similar experiences etc.
Thanks!