Just living it out alone for once. After a fallout with a bunch of toxic, backstabbing friends I thought, “how about I do this on my own for a change instead of chasing companionship?”
That experience taught me how to enjoy solidarity and peace as I worked on getting into med school. Just six months after that incident I got successfully accepted into med school. I found my current best friend there too!
In conclusion, I learnt the hard way that being alone is way better than entertaining and feeding toxic friendships. Sometimes you just have to take the difficult and long way out for long term good.
It’s corny but I fell in love with myself. And therapy working on where the style came from in the first place and actually healing those wounds. I can still be avoidant but now I have tools to anchor myself in reality.
For me it started with recognizing the patterns, I kept replaying the same scenarios in different relationships and finally realized it wasn’t just bad luck. Worked with my therapist to trace those habits back to where they started. Once I understood the “why” I could start shifting the “how” and I learned how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it.
Hmmm, I had a talk with my mom once a dew weeks ago where anxiousness was overtaking me (probably due hormones of stopping the pill but I was anxious regardless) and she said “maybe you should ask yourself what it is that you need to calm down, like what need is maybe not paid attention enough at the moment? Would a hug from your bf maybe be the solution?” That stunted me because when I thought from this perspective on what I actually might need instead of feeding into what ifs scenarios out of nowhere. So instead of thinking oh god what if this or that I try changing it what is going on with me and what do I need? A hug? A sentence of reassurance? A kiss? A bath? Meeting friends? And since then I feel way better on regards of my anxious attachment stlyle.
My avoidance took some time, but I forced or let myself give the chance to open up and get to know myself better, whT works for me, what pace etc. Noticed slow pace was my thing and haven’t had any overwhelming doom feelings.
Idk id say it takes some time & to get to know yourself/listening but to yourself. Changing coping mechanisms helped too cause they can grow outdated haha
I thought I verged on anxious attachment and felt quite neurotic in relationships.
When I met my now-partner I realised I’m not at all anxiously attached and am in fact incredibly securely attached, my neuroticism was just a reaction to being treated poorly by the men I dated.
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Distracted myself with other activities or pursuing a hobby. But also don’t be afraid to seek therapy!
Just living it out alone for once. After a fallout with a bunch of toxic, backstabbing friends I thought, “how about I do this on my own for a change instead of chasing companionship?”
That experience taught me how to enjoy solidarity and peace as I worked on getting into med school. Just six months after that incident I got successfully accepted into med school. I found my current best friend there too!
In conclusion, I learnt the hard way that being alone is way better than entertaining and feeding toxic friendships. Sometimes you just have to take the difficult and long way out for long term good.
It’s corny but I fell in love with myself. And therapy working on where the style came from in the first place and actually healing those wounds. I can still be avoidant but now I have tools to anchor myself in reality.
For me it started with recognizing the patterns, I kept replaying the same scenarios in different relationships and finally realized it wasn’t just bad luck. Worked with my therapist to trace those habits back to where they started. Once I understood the “why” I could start shifting the “how” and I learned how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it.
Hmmm, I had a talk with my mom once a dew weeks ago where anxiousness was overtaking me (probably due hormones of stopping the pill but I was anxious regardless) and she said “maybe you should ask yourself what it is that you need to calm down, like what need is maybe not paid attention enough at the moment? Would a hug from your bf maybe be the solution?” That stunted me because when I thought from this perspective on what I actually might need instead of feeding into what ifs scenarios out of nowhere. So instead of thinking oh god what if this or that I try changing it what is going on with me and what do I need? A hug? A sentence of reassurance? A kiss? A bath? Meeting friends? And since then I feel way better on regards of my anxious attachment stlyle.
My avoidance took some time, but I forced or let myself give the chance to open up and get to know myself better, whT works for me, what pace etc. Noticed slow pace was my thing and haven’t had any overwhelming doom feelings.
Idk id say it takes some time & to get to know yourself/listening but to yourself. Changing coping mechanisms helped too cause they can grow outdated haha
I thought I verged on anxious attachment and felt quite neurotic in relationships.
When I met my now-partner I realised I’m not at all anxiously attached and am in fact incredibly securely attached, my neuroticism was just a reaction to being treated poorly by the men I dated.
It really changed my perception of myself.