the first date I had with a guy after talking for about a week – I had mentioned my love of tiny items and he surprised me on the first date with a tiny vintage iron. it was such an incredible gesture and I felt so seen. the excitement and joy that rushed through me then was amazing.
When my husband said he wanted to marry me, first I said no. Then I came up with a check list of things I needed, 4 kids, you will work, you will help with housework, you will help cook, etc…
My husband listened and said “I can do that”
It’s been 15 years and I’m currently pregnant with #5 so….. successful
When I am in a horrible mood, being terse and curt in my responses and inadvertently taking it out on him, but he still somehow responds with compassion and says, “I know that this is a challenging time for you, and that you’re going through a lot right now. I love you, and I’m here for you. How can we work together so I can do my best to support you?”
Honestly the night my boyfriend confessed he liked me. It was just so genuine, after hours and hours of talking, he didn’t try anything with me, asked if he could hold my hand, and walked me home. I felt incredibly seen just because of the way he was. I’m incredibly lucky to have him:)
I use a lot of nasal spray (WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE!) and on our first date I didn’t have a bottle with me so my nose started getting VERY congested by the end of the date. The next date, he had a bottle of nasal spray in the glove compartment of his car…..I was dumbfounded.
This was early in my relationship with my now husband.
I’d been playing Super Mario 64 for a while and I’d finished it. I mentioned this to a friend and they told me “now you need a Switch and Super Mario Odyssey.” So I’d texted my now husband “I finished Mario 64, next I need a Switch and Super Mario Odyssey.”
At the end of the day he came over after work, walks in, and drops a bag on my coffee table. I go “what’s that?” and he says “a Nintendo Switch and Super Mario Odyssey” I laughed and I was like “that’s so much! Thank you but holy shit, you didn’t have to do that I was just being conversational!” and he very plainly says “… you said need. You needed it”
That was years ago but it still makes me laugh when I think about it, I was so thrown off. He’s just an adorable man.
My SO and I had been together for about six months by then. Things were already going really well. Over the course of our relationship I’d told him stories about my sister, who’s Deaf and has had a really hard time in her life (emotional trauma when our parents died in a car accident, followed by a placement with foster parents who made no effort to learn Sign Language. I had to interpret for her for pretty much every aspect of our home life, until she was transferred to a group home that could serve her needs better.)
I was invited to the wedding of a family friend, and I brought him as my plus-one. My sister was also invited, she flew in from the other side of the country and it would be the first time that my SO met her. She’s really the only family I had left, so this was gonna be a milestone in the relationship.
I picked her up at the airport and brought her straight to the wedding venue, where my SO was already waiting for us. Immediately he starts into a Sign Language conversation with her! I completely had no idea that he’d been studying ASL for the entire six months of our relationship, specifically so he could talk to her directly!
I was absolutely floored, and fell in love with my guy all over again! When he proposed to me the next week, I gave him a “Yes!” before he even finished the question!
he and i were just friends then but the fact that he asked me to be his +1 for a wedding, arrived to our meeting location 1 hour early, never being late. small things like that make me happy and they mean so much more than they actually are.
he’s my ex’s friend and he was always the one i wanted to vent, get advice from. told him that my ex never introduced me to his family but he introduced me to his family on the first 2 dates.
We were just friends, some attraction but had circumstances that we could never work out in a relationship, but told my neighbor I was craving Lucky Charms and a couple hours later a box was on my porch.
My husband and I got into a fight last week. It lasted for days where we only talked about the kids and the household. We finally sat down to talk about everything again calmly and the look on his face and change of demeanor showed me that he finally understood my side of things when I mentioned one thing. I told him that I had nowhere in the house that was just mine. I pointed out his space and each of the kids’ spaces, and told him I didn’t have one. And he finally understood everything I’ve been saying for years about being burnt out and exhausted. I’m a SAHM and manage everyone’s schedules (including and working around his).
Early in our friendship before we took it into a long distance relationship, I told him about some personal struggles and instead of shying away and letting me spiral in my own mind he sat on the phone until late into the night even though he had to get up early for work to help me through it. He helped me see for myself that the friend group I was hanging out with was hurting my self esteem and I was worthy of better people than them. And has showed me every single day since why I matter. Never before had I had someone actually care like that where they would sacrifice for me like he did. He put a ring on my finger 6 and a half years ago and we both never let the other forget how we mean to each other.
When I started dating my husband, I was thinking of cutting my hair and I wanted to get it cut in a way that he liked, so I asked him his opinion and he just said, “How do YOU like it?”… changed my whole mentality
the day I met my boyfriend. I very much blended in with people for the most part and I try not to be super noticeable so I can easily leave with my friends without having to say bye to a million people. He saw me and wanted to talk to me. I mean I do have piercings and stuff that make me stand out a little but it was super dark and in some sweaty basement. He remembered my name, he got my number, and he was very respectful. That’s it. Nothing crazy really happened but he was the most respectful person I had met in the few months of being in college. Best decision to go to that party. (this is the part where i start thinking of the butterfly effect lol)
When me and my husband started dating one night I stayed at his house, he made dinner for us and packed some for me to have lunch the next day. When I left for work the next day I forgot the lunch, he had the day off so at lunch time he biked to me and brought the lunch 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷
When I was venting in an email to a good friend about life shit and the unhealthy relationship I was in with my ex-girlfriend at the time, and he replied with “Yep, you’re worthwhile despite the good and bad and there’s way more good than bad, and even if there wasn’t, you’d still be worthwhile”. It made me burst into tears.
That was a little over five years ago. I’m getting married to that ‘friend’ in eight days. He’s said and done many things since that have also made me feel seen and heard… no one has ever understood me better in my life… but that had a huge effect on me back then. On some level, I knew I’d found my Person.
We were friends at the time, I’d been having an absolutely rubbish time at work and at home (was still living with parents and step siblings was an asshole) and I was venting over messages because I was just so exhausted with my situation this was about 10pm at night after a massive row caused by my step sibling.
My friend lived in a 1 bed flat, he just text and said pack a bag, get in a taxi and come stay here for a few days break, you can have my bed I’ll sleep on the sofa.
You can still get to work via bus it’s not a problem I’d enjoy the company and it will be nice to cook for more than one but you may need to teach me some skills in the kitchen (I’ve learned to cook since I was young and previously to this I had taught him to cook some stuff).
That was almost 10 yrs ago and I never left. Our friendship grew stronger over our time together that shifted into romance and eventually love and speak of family.
We now have two kids and are both so happy will have been together 10yrs in October.
I’m awkward and going straight to dating when we’re virtual strangers always ruined it for me. I met my now-husband in a mutual friend group, and he asked me out before I was comfortable. I flat out told him I wanted to keep hanging out as a group a little longer to get more comfortable and it worked 😭
Though he told me a few years into us dating that he was really sad and felt rejected when I said no to one-on-one dates 🥺
On my first date with my now husband, we were at IHOP in Tahoe. This date actually ended up lasting 5 nights lol…anyway, I was at a major crossroads in my life, I had literally no ties anywhere, I was completely free to just do anything I wanted, go anywhere and be anything. I described that as being a little lost, I didn’t have much direction. On the morning of our 2nd day together, he dug this compass out of his truck and sat across from me at IHOP in South Lake Tahoe and taught me how to find the exact location of the sunrise with a compass and some latitude/longitude lines. He said to me…”Andi, you’ll always be able to find your way. You just need the right tools.” 👌🏻✌🏻
💕💕
Next one…same guy…..the key fob to my car wasn’t working very well…needed a new battery. I’m terrible at doing those kinds of small errands. Unprompted, he went out and got a new one and changed it. Then he changed my oil, filled up all my tires, and cleaned the inside.
It was wild. I’d never experienced an “act of service” in a relationship before.
My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years. Sometimes he just tells me something about myself that I didn’t even realize he noticed… like something small about something I like or the way I respond to certain people and other random small things. I’m always taken aback by those comments. He really sees me.
We really started dating right after I’d come home from a less pleasant corner of the world. Previously I’d deliberately told dates about such experiences, to see how they would react. Most of them went silent or bragged about their own worldly knowledge. He told me he didn’t know what it had been like, but he could see I was sad or quiet at times, and then he’d hug me. Not presuming or pretending anything. He just listened and loved me.
last year my situationship took me to NYC because I had never been. then he researched a bunch of places he thought I would like and took me to all of them, including a treehouse oasis in the middle of the city
My current relationship. I have just to moved to area a few months back and don’t have a car so I walk to work, even when I don’t get off till 11pm. He and I started talking and he was asking about my schedule, so I told him not thinking anything of it. Well 11pm one night rolls around, I change and get ready to walk home low and behold he is there waiting to take me home, he also brought flowers and asked “can I give you a ride when you work late?” It was really sweet and I really appreciate it cuz I don’t live in the best neighborhood
My now fiancé had a list of things that I mentioned I liked or wanted to do. Places I wanted to go, songs I loved. Any detail about me. All because he wanted to remember so that he could make those things happen for me.
The guy I’ve been talking with for a few weeks suffered some memory loss due to an injury. We are long-distance right now, he mentioned to me last night that he keeps post it notes nearby when we are talking so he can jot down important things to help him remember. He understands how important it is for us to really get to know each other in this early stage, and the fact that he is putting in such effort to be mindful of it is absolutely wonderful. It makes me feel like he genuinely wants to know me and that what I say matters.
We were friends at the time. I had mentioned that I like a particular type of sweet from back home. When he was returning back from our home country he bought a small jar with it and put it in his suitcase. Unfortunately it smashed on the way over (a lot of syrup on all his stuff) yet he tried to salvage some of it and carefully take the glass out so he can bring me some. He was more worried about me not having some than his stuff.
That was the sweetest thing anyone had done for me and while I never actually risked eating of it I cherished it.
When we eventually got together he told me that when we first met he could sense that I wasn’t comfortable answering some of his questions (they were just small-talk tbh) so he not only stopped asking but diverted the conversation if anyone else in the group started asking about the same subject.
He used to be an amazing guy and an even more wonderful boyfriend.
I was seeing a guy I REALLY liked and saw a lot of potential in. He told me once that he was going to be busy and wouldn’t be able to text me because he knew I was an overthinker. Had never had anyone acknowledge my anxiety like that.
Anyway, he broke up with me, then a month later said he wanted to get back together and then ghosted me so, can’t win em all I guess.
Me and the guy I am seeing right now, study different Master programs, but we have classes in common. One day he said: “You were my motivation for many of my classes”, and I found this very sweet, because I was thinking that I people don’t notice me.
My first bday with my bf now he got me a hoodie from a brand that is not really well known but niche to me. That is when I learned “to be heard is to be loved” 🥹
I’ll give a recent example because it’s still fresh in my mind:
Was chatting about The Simpsons one day with a guy who I’d been flirting with/talking to for a few weeks. I mentioned something about how I’d always really loved the episode “Lisa’s Substitute,” and dude goes, “Oh, yeah, I can totally see that. You ARE Lisa Simpson.”
He didn’t know that Lisa was one of the characters I’d always loved and related to while growing up, from her socially isolating precociousness, to the ways that her ethics can be self-defeating, to her big bold ambitions, to her strained relationship with her dad. I felt like this guy really understood me.
I kept buying my fiance little gifts. Well, one day, I handed him another small trinket from work that they had barely mentioned liking, but I got anyway, and they took my hands and said, “Hey. I like this, I do, but I sometimes worry you keep bringing me stuff because you think you aren’t enough all on your own. I just want you to know that you ARE enough without any extras okay? I love gifts but I love you more”
When I tell you that I ugly cried. I had NEVER mentioned to them that I had fears of not being enough.
When I met my now husband in person for the first time after months of talking, messaging, etc etc. I swear his eyes were smiling looking at me, like “she is real”.
Instead of just telling me “you read a lot.” He double downed and asked me what my favorite read of the month was and why. And he regularly keeps up with my reading stats. Reading and just books in general are a major part of my life and if you’re willing to listen to me yap about them we locked in.
Few hours ago when I shared how good I felt after spa (my first ever coz I’m not into too much spending for such luxuries lol) and he emphasised I deserve to feel this good every month and go regularly.
I can’t answer for most seen because I have never felt truly understood by any guy and I think that’s perfectly fine. However, I’ve been with my fiancé almost a decade and I’ve never gone to bed wondering where his head is at or how he feels about me. He has never wavered. He set his intentions from the moment we shook hands (yes I shook his hand when we first met) and pursued me ever since. Does he always see me and hear me? Lmao…not so much! But does he always still choose me and want me regardless of not getting how my brain operates most of the time? Yes. That he does. Consistency is never under appreciated and I appreciate that about him very much.
There are so many things I could mention, but the most recent. He took me to a Brazilian bakery and let me pick an absolute beast of a dessert assortment for my birthday, two days in a row. A weekend complete with spa treatment, kid free AirBNB time, and a concert. He really is incredible and I’m so lucky to have him.
I met a guy on a subreddit who reached out to me about fanfiction recommendations. We ended up talking for the rest of the night, which turned into days, then weeks, then months of chatting with each other. There was no judgement or shaming of me for reading fanfiction; he listened to what I had to say; committed his full focus and efforts on reciprocating in our discussions; and more. He was also open-minded, as well as naturally curious and inquisitive, which I deeply appreciated as someone who tends to be described as “intellectual” and “academic”. He was was also honest and straightforward about his thoughts and feelings with me, which was a pleasant surprise.
I had been dating my now husband for about a month, and we were planning on me meeting one of his friends for the first time at a restaurant for dinner. I had a few spare hours beforehand and I needed to install a new ceiling fan/light so I decided to get that done first and ran into problems, but got it done just in time, washed up, headed out to meet them.
I walked in and had a clump of dust from the old ceiling fan on the top of my head but like to the back so I didn’t see it when I was cleaning up. My husband grabbed it off my head and asked about it. Super embarrassing but I was like hey at least I got my new fan light installed! My husband’s friend goes haha you installed a light? Does it turn on? Hurdy hurr hurr.
My now husband stared him down and says why wouldn’t it turn on Tim? He mumbled something and my husband goes “I didn’t catch that, why wouldn’t the light turn on?”
They went back and forth and then Tim finally says well cause she’s a girl, they don’t know how to do stuff like that. Then my husband called him a dumbass and laughed at him.
Tim apologized, and we’ve all moved on from that shitty comment, but I had never felt so supported before that. My husband had no idea if my ceiling fan worked but he had my back regardless.
When I was going on about being unlovable and instead of hanging up or awkward silence, he asked me “why I felt like that?” And “tell me more so I can understand”. Yeah. Too bad we broke up 1.5 years later bc he (38yo male) chose video games (….yeah….i know 🙄😂) over me in the end but he was my longest relationship ever so I guess I’ve got that in terms of social proof 🤷♀️ pretty sure I dodged a bullet but dang, the beginnings of the relationship were magical.
Our first date started around 10am with coffees and ended around 11ish pm watching hockey. It was an amazing day.
When I first started staying over at his place, he just hung a loofah in the shower for me without saying a word, and a toothbrush appeared in the bathroom for me to use.
He ordered a coffee cup for me , a health pot from Monster Hunter, which has been a favorite game of mine for a long time now.
He just made me feel so welcomed and comfortable sharing space with him.
We just married this last Sunday, and I am so incredibly happy to have this man as my husband.
Comments
the first date I had with a guy after talking for about a week – I had mentioned my love of tiny items and he surprised me on the first date with a tiny vintage iron. it was such an incredible gesture and I felt so seen. the excitement and joy that rushed through me then was amazing.
When my husband said he wanted to marry me, first I said no. Then I came up with a check list of things I needed, 4 kids, you will work, you will help with housework, you will help cook, etc…
My husband listened and said “I can do that”
It’s been 15 years and I’m currently pregnant with #5 so….. successful
The night I met my husband.
When I am in a horrible mood, being terse and curt in my responses and inadvertently taking it out on him, but he still somehow responds with compassion and says, “I know that this is a challenging time for you, and that you’re going through a lot right now. I love you, and I’m here for you. How can we work together so I can do my best to support you?”
Honestly the night my boyfriend confessed he liked me. It was just so genuine, after hours and hours of talking, he didn’t try anything with me, asked if he could hold my hand, and walked me home. I felt incredibly seen just because of the way he was. I’m incredibly lucky to have him:)
I use a lot of nasal spray (WE LISTEN AND WE DON’T JUDGE!) and on our first date I didn’t have a bottle with me so my nose started getting VERY congested by the end of the date. The next date, he had a bottle of nasal spray in the glove compartment of his car…..I was dumbfounded.
This was early in my relationship with my now husband.
I’d been playing Super Mario 64 for a while and I’d finished it. I mentioned this to a friend and they told me “now you need a Switch and Super Mario Odyssey.” So I’d texted my now husband “I finished Mario 64, next I need a Switch and Super Mario Odyssey.”
At the end of the day he came over after work, walks in, and drops a bag on my coffee table. I go “what’s that?” and he says “a Nintendo Switch and Super Mario Odyssey” I laughed and I was like “that’s so much! Thank you but holy shit, you didn’t have to do that I was just being conversational!” and he very plainly says “… you said need. You needed it”
That was years ago but it still makes me laugh when I think about it, I was so thrown off. He’s just an adorable man.
The one I married
My SO and I had been together for about six months by then. Things were already going really well. Over the course of our relationship I’d told him stories about my sister, who’s Deaf and has had a really hard time in her life (emotional trauma when our parents died in a car accident, followed by a placement with foster parents who made no effort to learn Sign Language. I had to interpret for her for pretty much every aspect of our home life, until she was transferred to a group home that could serve her needs better.)
I was invited to the wedding of a family friend, and I brought him as my plus-one. My sister was also invited, she flew in from the other side of the country and it would be the first time that my SO met her. She’s really the only family I had left, so this was gonna be a milestone in the relationship.
I picked her up at the airport and brought her straight to the wedding venue, where my SO was already waiting for us. Immediately he starts into a Sign Language conversation with her! I completely had no idea that he’d been studying ASL for the entire six months of our relationship, specifically so he could talk to her directly!
I was absolutely floored, and fell in love with my guy all over again! When he proposed to me the next week, I gave him a “Yes!” before he even finished the question!
he and i were just friends then but the fact that he asked me to be his +1 for a wedding, arrived to our meeting location 1 hour early, never being late. small things like that make me happy and they mean so much more than they actually are.
he’s my ex’s friend and he was always the one i wanted to vent, get advice from. told him that my ex never introduced me to his family but he introduced me to his family on the first 2 dates.
We were just friends, some attraction but had circumstances that we could never work out in a relationship, but told my neighbor I was craving Lucky Charms and a couple hours later a box was on my porch.
My husband and I got into a fight last week. It lasted for days where we only talked about the kids and the household. We finally sat down to talk about everything again calmly and the look on his face and change of demeanor showed me that he finally understood my side of things when I mentioned one thing. I told him that I had nowhere in the house that was just mine. I pointed out his space and each of the kids’ spaces, and told him I didn’t have one. And he finally understood everything I’ve been saying for years about being burnt out and exhausted. I’m a SAHM and manage everyone’s schedules (including and working around his).
Early in our friendship before we took it into a long distance relationship, I told him about some personal struggles and instead of shying away and letting me spiral in my own mind he sat on the phone until late into the night even though he had to get up early for work to help me through it. He helped me see for myself that the friend group I was hanging out with was hurting my self esteem and I was worthy of better people than them. And has showed me every single day since why I matter. Never before had I had someone actually care like that where they would sacrifice for me like he did. He put a ring on my finger 6 and a half years ago and we both never let the other forget how we mean to each other.
When I started dating my husband, I was thinking of cutting my hair and I wanted to get it cut in a way that he liked, so I asked him his opinion and he just said, “How do YOU like it?”… changed my whole mentality
One time this guy actually remembered my favorite song and played it for me…felt kinda special, tbh.
the day I met my boyfriend. I very much blended in with people for the most part and I try not to be super noticeable so I can easily leave with my friends without having to say bye to a million people. He saw me and wanted to talk to me. I mean I do have piercings and stuff that make me stand out a little but it was super dark and in some sweaty basement. He remembered my name, he got my number, and he was very respectful. That’s it. Nothing crazy really happened but he was the most respectful person I had met in the few months of being in college. Best decision to go to that party. (this is the part where i start thinking of the butterfly effect lol)
When me and my husband started dating one night I stayed at his house, he made dinner for us and packed some for me to have lunch the next day. When I left for work the next day I forgot the lunch, he had the day off so at lunch time he biked to me and brought the lunch 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷
When I was venting in an email to a good friend about life shit and the unhealthy relationship I was in with my ex-girlfriend at the time, and he replied with “Yep, you’re worthwhile despite the good and bad and there’s way more good than bad, and even if there wasn’t, you’d still be worthwhile”. It made me burst into tears.
That was a little over five years ago. I’m getting married to that ‘friend’ in eight days. He’s said and done many things since that have also made me feel seen and heard… no one has ever understood me better in my life… but that had a huge effect on me back then. On some level, I knew I’d found my Person.
We were friends at the time, I’d been having an absolutely rubbish time at work and at home (was still living with parents and step siblings was an asshole) and I was venting over messages because I was just so exhausted with my situation this was about 10pm at night after a massive row caused by my step sibling.
My friend lived in a 1 bed flat, he just text and said pack a bag, get in a taxi and come stay here for a few days break, you can have my bed I’ll sleep on the sofa.
You can still get to work via bus it’s not a problem I’d enjoy the company and it will be nice to cook for more than one but you may need to teach me some skills in the kitchen (I’ve learned to cook since I was young and previously to this I had taught him to cook some stuff).
That was almost 10 yrs ago and I never left. Our friendship grew stronger over our time together that shifted into romance and eventually love and speak of family.
We now have two kids and are both so happy will have been together 10yrs in October.
I’m awkward and going straight to dating when we’re virtual strangers always ruined it for me. I met my now-husband in a mutual friend group, and he asked me out before I was comfortable. I flat out told him I wanted to keep hanging out as a group a little longer to get more comfortable and it worked 😭
Though he told me a few years into us dating that he was really sad and felt rejected when I said no to one-on-one dates 🥺
Ok, I have a two things.
On my first date with my now husband, we were at IHOP in Tahoe. This date actually ended up lasting 5 nights lol…anyway, I was at a major crossroads in my life, I had literally no ties anywhere, I was completely free to just do anything I wanted, go anywhere and be anything. I described that as being a little lost, I didn’t have much direction. On the morning of our 2nd day together, he dug this compass out of his truck and sat across from me at IHOP in South Lake Tahoe and taught me how to find the exact location of the sunrise with a compass and some latitude/longitude lines. He said to me…”Andi, you’ll always be able to find your way. You just need the right tools.” 👌🏻✌🏻
💕💕
Next one…same guy…..the key fob to my car wasn’t working very well…needed a new battery. I’m terrible at doing those kinds of small errands. Unprompted, he went out and got a new one and changed it. Then he changed my oil, filled up all my tires, and cleaned the inside.
It was wild. I’d never experienced an “act of service” in a relationship before.
My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years. Sometimes he just tells me something about myself that I didn’t even realize he noticed… like something small about something I like or the way I respond to certain people and other random small things. I’m always taken aback by those comments. He really sees me.
We really started dating right after I’d come home from a less pleasant corner of the world. Previously I’d deliberately told dates about such experiences, to see how they would react. Most of them went silent or bragged about their own worldly knowledge. He told me he didn’t know what it had been like, but he could see I was sad or quiet at times, and then he’d hug me. Not presuming or pretending anything. He just listened and loved me.
last year my situationship took me to NYC because I had never been. then he researched a bunch of places he thought I would like and took me to all of them, including a treehouse oasis in the middle of the city
My current relationship. I have just to moved to area a few months back and don’t have a car so I walk to work, even when I don’t get off till 11pm. He and I started talking and he was asking about my schedule, so I told him not thinking anything of it. Well 11pm one night rolls around, I change and get ready to walk home low and behold he is there waiting to take me home, he also brought flowers and asked “can I give you a ride when you work late?” It was really sweet and I really appreciate it cuz I don’t live in the best neighborhood
My now fiancé had a list of things that I mentioned I liked or wanted to do. Places I wanted to go, songs I loved. Any detail about me. All because he wanted to remember so that he could make those things happen for me.
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The guy I’ve been talking with for a few weeks suffered some memory loss due to an injury. We are long-distance right now, he mentioned to me last night that he keeps post it notes nearby when we are talking so he can jot down important things to help him remember. He understands how important it is for us to really get to know each other in this early stage, and the fact that he is putting in such effort to be mindful of it is absolutely wonderful. It makes me feel like he genuinely wants to know me and that what I say matters.
We were friends at the time. I had mentioned that I like a particular type of sweet from back home. When he was returning back from our home country he bought a small jar with it and put it in his suitcase. Unfortunately it smashed on the way over (a lot of syrup on all his stuff) yet he tried to salvage some of it and carefully take the glass out so he can bring me some. He was more worried about me not having some than his stuff.
That was the sweetest thing anyone had done for me and while I never actually risked eating of it I cherished it.
When we eventually got together he told me that when we first met he could sense that I wasn’t comfortable answering some of his questions (they were just small-talk tbh) so he not only stopped asking but diverted the conversation if anyone else in the group started asking about the same subject.
He used to be an amazing guy and an even more wonderful boyfriend.
I was seeing a guy I REALLY liked and saw a lot of potential in. He told me once that he was going to be busy and wouldn’t be able to text me because he knew I was an overthinker. Had never had anyone acknowledge my anxiety like that.
Anyway, he broke up with me, then a month later said he wanted to get back together and then ghosted me so, can’t win em all I guess.
Me and the guy I am seeing right now, study different Master programs, but we have classes in common. One day he said: “You were my motivation for many of my classes”, and I found this very sweet, because I was thinking that I people don’t notice me.
My first bday with my bf now he got me a hoodie from a brand that is not really well known but niche to me. That is when I learned “to be heard is to be loved” 🥹
I’ll give a recent example because it’s still fresh in my mind:
Was chatting about The Simpsons one day with a guy who I’d been flirting with/talking to for a few weeks. I mentioned something about how I’d always really loved the episode “Lisa’s Substitute,” and dude goes, “Oh, yeah, I can totally see that. You ARE Lisa Simpson.”
He didn’t know that Lisa was one of the characters I’d always loved and related to while growing up, from her socially isolating precociousness, to the ways that her ethics can be self-defeating, to her big bold ambitions, to her strained relationship with her dad. I felt like this guy really understood me.
I kept buying my fiance little gifts. Well, one day, I handed him another small trinket from work that they had barely mentioned liking, but I got anyway, and they took my hands and said, “Hey. I like this, I do, but I sometimes worry you keep bringing me stuff because you think you aren’t enough all on your own. I just want you to know that you ARE enough without any extras okay? I love gifts but I love you more”
When I tell you that I ugly cried. I had NEVER mentioned to them that I had fears of not being enough.
When I met my now husband in person for the first time after months of talking, messaging, etc etc. I swear his eyes were smiling looking at me, like “she is real”.
Instead of just telling me “you read a lot.” He double downed and asked me what my favorite read of the month was and why. And he regularly keeps up with my reading stats. Reading and just books in general are a major part of my life and if you’re willing to listen to me yap about them we locked in.
Few hours ago when I shared how good I felt after spa (my first ever coz I’m not into too much spending for such luxuries lol) and he emphasised I deserve to feel this good every month and go regularly.
Unfortunately, never. I think I make bad choices. But a good choice I made was to be single and stop dating for the last 15 years.
I always feel seen/heard at the beginning. When the honeymoon is over then the real person appears.
I can’t answer for most seen because I have never felt truly understood by any guy and I think that’s perfectly fine. However, I’ve been with my fiancé almost a decade and I’ve never gone to bed wondering where his head is at or how he feels about me. He has never wavered. He set his intentions from the moment we shook hands (yes I shook his hand when we first met) and pursued me ever since. Does he always see me and hear me? Lmao…not so much! But does he always still choose me and want me regardless of not getting how my brain operates most of the time? Yes. That he does. Consistency is never under appreciated and I appreciate that about him very much.
There are so many things I could mention, but the most recent. He took me to a Brazilian bakery and let me pick an absolute beast of a dessert assortment for my birthday, two days in a row. A weekend complete with spa treatment, kid free AirBNB time, and a concert. He really is incredible and I’m so lucky to have him.
I met a guy on a subreddit who reached out to me about fanfiction recommendations. We ended up talking for the rest of the night, which turned into days, then weeks, then months of chatting with each other. There was no judgement or shaming of me for reading fanfiction; he listened to what I had to say; committed his full focus and efforts on reciprocating in our discussions; and more. He was also open-minded, as well as naturally curious and inquisitive, which I deeply appreciated as someone who tends to be described as “intellectual” and “academic”. He was was also honest and straightforward about his thoughts and feelings with me, which was a pleasant surprise.
I had been dating my now husband for about a month, and we were planning on me meeting one of his friends for the first time at a restaurant for dinner. I had a few spare hours beforehand and I needed to install a new ceiling fan/light so I decided to get that done first and ran into problems, but got it done just in time, washed up, headed out to meet them.
I walked in and had a clump of dust from the old ceiling fan on the top of my head but like to the back so I didn’t see it when I was cleaning up. My husband grabbed it off my head and asked about it. Super embarrassing but I was like hey at least I got my new fan light installed! My husband’s friend goes haha you installed a light? Does it turn on? Hurdy hurr hurr.
My now husband stared him down and says why wouldn’t it turn on Tim? He mumbled something and my husband goes “I didn’t catch that, why wouldn’t the light turn on?”
They went back and forth and then Tim finally says well cause she’s a girl, they don’t know how to do stuff like that. Then my husband called him a dumbass and laughed at him.
Tim apologized, and we’ve all moved on from that shitty comment, but I had never felt so supported before that. My husband had no idea if my ceiling fan worked but he had my back regardless.
I guess when he remembered my favorite song outta nowhere…
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When I was going on about being unlovable and instead of hanging up or awkward silence, he asked me “why I felt like that?” And “tell me more so I can understand”. Yeah. Too bad we broke up 1.5 years later bc he (38yo male) chose video games (….yeah….i know 🙄😂) over me in the end but he was my longest relationship ever so I guess I’ve got that in terms of social proof 🤷♀️ pretty sure I dodged a bullet but dang, the beginnings of the relationship were magical.
Our first date started around 10am with coffees and ended around 11ish pm watching hockey. It was an amazing day.
When I first started staying over at his place, he just hung a loofah in the shower for me without saying a word, and a toothbrush appeared in the bathroom for me to use.
He ordered a coffee cup for me , a health pot from Monster Hunter, which has been a favorite game of mine for a long time now.
He just made me feel so welcomed and comfortable sharing space with him.
We just married this last Sunday, and I am so incredibly happy to have this man as my husband.
Honestly, it was when my crush remembered my favorite song and played it for me… felt kinda special, ya know?