I’d leave this place. I’m not capable of adapting to changes in life. I’m extremely dependent on my parents in emotional ways, as with many other things.
But really, i’d probably hit rock bottom for a while. I’m sure I’ll get the mental capacity to move on from it, especially if it’s as far away as I hope it’ll be, but I’m gonna be lost for a while.
but that’s not gonna happen because my mom’s never gonna die. ever.
Well, when Daddy died, shit fell apart and it took a while to put the pieces back together. Same when Dad (stepfather) died. So I suppose it will be the same when my mom goes. It rocks you to your core, but you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you eventually learn to live with it.
Well, I didn’t know last year. This year, my mom hangs out in the living room in her urn. It hits me randomly, but we had a weird relationship. I’ve made her a little shrine with our photos and her celebration of life pamphlet and other trinkets.
Be relieved. We do not have a good relationship due to her inability to tell the truth and blaming me for everything. I could go on and on. I need closure. Your mother being your biggest hater in life sucks.
If I don’t transition upon graduating with my bachelor’s, then I’ll definitely transition once my parents die (or at the very least, by the time of my transphobic mom’s passing). That’s at least sure.
I’ll probably also move into their house too. They’ve talked about me being the one to inherit it (one of the few benefits to having been born first), just so long as my brothers can live there too if they want.
I’m not entirely sure. I live with them. I’m 33 and I’ve never not lived with them for longer than a few months. I also can’t live alone due to mental health reasons. This is a very scary question.
My Mum died last November (I now have ptsd with fireworks), and my Dad is pretty delicate health wise these days.
My Mum dying genuinely ripped my Sibs apart for a bit, and with me being the closest one to my Dad and already having not the greatest mental or physical health record – I truly do not know what losing him will do to me.
Right now? I don’t fucking know. I don’t feel ready. There’s got so much shit I’ll have to deal with, being the oldest. Nearly 20k in debt from my mom and I’ll have two siblings who have no jobs and disabilities to take care of. I try not to think about it and hope it’ll happen a long time from now when everyone’s in a better place.
In part I’ll feel relief because there’s so much bull I’ve been forced to go through because of my mother. But I’ll be devastated to lose my safety net and my father. I’ll just feel sad that my mom never got her mental health put together enough to fix our relationship and help my siblings succeed in the ways I could never.
I can’t even fathom that right now. It will break me like nothing has before, and it might take me months to even begin to recover. Thankfully they’re both healthy and happy, so I can forgo any serious worrying for now.
My relationship with my mom has been complicated over the years, I certainly do not view her with rose colored glasses. But I understand she is an imperfect complicated person who loves me and I will be sad when she is gone. Same with my dad but I have less complications with him. They have been solid grandparents for my daughter so I know we will mourn them together.
My parents are both over 70 so I feel like I’ve been fortunate to already have had them both for what seems like a reasonable lifespan. Anything after this point is just bonus time.
I am independent, own my home, earn my own money, have friends and relationships etc so I feel like I won’t be deprived of anything I need when they go.
Its hard. By the time i turned 30 i lost both parents and grandparents. I dont know what im doing. I dont know how ive lasted this long. All i know is since i lost everyone, i just want to go “home” and i dont know where that is anymore. Not without them.
In a nutshell, I fully expect to be alone until that day comes, with no real goals to speak of. I gave up on finding a significant other, and I’ve mostly given up on finding friends. I can’t find any better work than being a delivery driver. Nobody wants my neurodivergent ass. Hell, neither do I.
Except for my parents. I stay alive because my mom and stepdad would be devastated. But once they’re both gone, nothing’s keeping me here anymore.
Both my parents are dead unfortunately. Honestly I just try to live my life and do things that make me feel good and would make them proud. Mom passed when I was 9 (I’m 28 now). Dad passed away from long covid almost 2 years ago which almost killed me. He was my best friend and biggest support. I honestly couldn’t get out of bed or function for almost the first year he was gone. Like I died too. I still cry sometimes if I think about him too much.
My mom died a few months ago. I honestly didn’t think I would survive it at first but it gets better slowly. I have leaned on my siblings and friends a lot. My SO has been surprisingly supportive. You think you won’t survive it but you wil.
Go numb, settle their affairs, execute the Will, purchase urns, keep an eye on my brother, maintain their home,and then finally break down properly. Highly likely in Grippy-Sock Jail.
It depends who goes first. If my dad goes first i’ll need to stick around for my mum, she’s going to need help. Then when she goes i’ll arrange the funeral, make sure no one turns up who isnt supposed to, and then once we scatter her ashes i’ll check out early.
If my mum goes first, i’ll be a complete wreck. I’ll stick around for my dad and maybe if theres enough time between both events i’ll begin to heal from my mums death and once my dad goes, if im not a complete mess still i might be able to stay here. But i’m still checking out early, thats just a fact.
When my mum died of cancer in 2018 I felt completely wrecked and didn’t think I could go on. She remains the most positive, important and influential person in my life
In 2020, my dad died of alcohol related illness. I had more feelings of ambivalence heading into the last week of his life. I held vigil and was very surprised to have experienced a quiet and calm over that bunch of days holding space for him, it was not interrupted by lots of people needing to cram in and say goodbye, and it was only really after he passed that I realised I would have liked for mum to have had a gentler last days not characterised by mine and other people’s (hysterical and at times absurdly theatrical) grief
Now that they are both gone I have this strange sense of independence and freedom and I have flourished in my career and personal life
I no longer feel I need to “prove” myself to my hypercritical father. And while I would love nothing more than to share my successes with my mum and literally cannot, I do sometimes have dreams of her where she’s just sitting with me and we feel happy together and I know it’s because I’m doing okay and that’s what has always mattered to her
For my mother, breathe a sigh of relief and hope she has finally found the peace she never managed to sustain in life-we have a very complex relationship. I have been her carer from the age of 4, and our roles have been very much switched.
For my father, I honestly don’t know. Our relationship was horrendously damaged by my mother, and we’re only now somewhat connecting on a deeper level. Until recently, I had heard the words ‘love you’ more often from one of my favourite actresses than my own father; and the last time I heard him say the words in person, he had been forced to do so by my now passed step mother.
Comments
I’d leave this place. I’m not capable of adapting to changes in life. I’m extremely dependent on my parents in emotional ways, as with many other things.
Sob.
Nothing. My mom is gonna live forever and ever.
But really, i’d probably hit rock bottom for a while. I’m sure I’ll get the mental capacity to move on from it, especially if it’s as far away as I hope it’ll be, but I’m gonna be lost for a while.
but that’s not gonna happen because my mom’s never gonna die. ever.
Well, when Daddy died, shit fell apart and it took a while to put the pieces back together. Same when Dad (stepfather) died. So I suppose it will be the same when my mom goes. It rocks you to your core, but you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you eventually learn to live with it.
Throw a party. They are horrible people
Die too
Well, I didn’t know last year. This year, my mom hangs out in the living room in her urn. It hits me randomly, but we had a weird relationship. I’ve made her a little shrine with our photos and her celebration of life pamphlet and other trinkets.
Hopefully I’ll be stable enough by then on my own to have my own place (able to pay and afford all necessary bills), or be married.
Throw up from to much mixed emotions. Very mixed memories from childhood
I cried….and I cried. And 5 years later…i still cry.
hang myself
Idk. Probably cry for a minute then see if I need anything from Costco.
I’m 25 & a huge mamas boy, I don’t know what I’d do without that woman. Always pray she lives to be 5,000 😂💙
I only have one left, and he is not the type of loving parent. There would be no difference, but I would still mourn and cry, then suck it up.
I buried my Dad on Thursday Lost my mom 18 years ago. I’ll let you know.
Be relieved. We do not have a good relationship due to her inability to tell the truth and blaming me for everything. I could go on and on. I need closure. Your mother being your biggest hater in life sucks.
Cry
(oh, you didn’t have to do this to me OP 😭)
If I don’t transition upon graduating with my bachelor’s, then I’ll definitely transition once my parents die (or at the very least, by the time of my transphobic mom’s passing). That’s at least sure.
I’ll probably also move into their house too. They’ve talked about me being the one to inherit it (one of the few benefits to having been born first), just so long as my brothers can live there too if they want.
Beyond that? I dunno.
Probably kill myself
My dad passed away last Wednesday. I’m on autopilot but got things done. But I still see his face from when I found his body.
From some other comments it seems I am not alone on the idea of also giving up everything then
I’m not entirely sure. I live with them. I’m 33 and I’ve never not lived with them for longer than a few months. I also can’t live alone due to mental health reasons. This is a very scary question.
My Mum died last November (I now have ptsd with fireworks), and my Dad is pretty delicate health wise these days.
My Mum dying genuinely ripped my Sibs apart for a bit, and with me being the closest one to my Dad and already having not the greatest mental or physical health record – I truly do not know what losing him will do to me.
Right now? I don’t fucking know. I don’t feel ready. There’s got so much shit I’ll have to deal with, being the oldest. Nearly 20k in debt from my mom and I’ll have two siblings who have no jobs and disabilities to take care of. I try not to think about it and hope it’ll happen a long time from now when everyone’s in a better place.
In part I’ll feel relief because there’s so much bull I’ve been forced to go through because of my mother. But I’ll be devastated to lose my safety net and my father. I’ll just feel sad that my mom never got her mental health put together enough to fix our relationship and help my siblings succeed in the ways I could never.
https://youtu.be/ULeDlxa3gyc?si=zzceM35g_RIgF2x9
throw a party. i made a promise to myself when i was a little girl that the day i hear my fathers dead, i’m throwing a fucking party!
I can’t even fathom that right now. It will break me like nothing has before, and it might take me months to even begin to recover. Thankfully they’re both healthy and happy, so I can forgo any serious worrying for now.
My mom did die and I cried
I lost my mom in 2012 dad in 2022. I miss them every day.
My relationship with my mom has been complicated over the years, I certainly do not view her with rose colored glasses. But I understand she is an imperfect complicated person who loves me and I will be sad when she is gone. Same with my dad but I have less complications with him. They have been solid grandparents for my daughter so I know we will mourn them together.
My parents are both over 70 so I feel like I’ve been fortunate to already have had them both for what seems like a reasonable lifespan. Anything after this point is just bonus time.
I am independent, own my home, earn my own money, have friends and relationships etc so I feel like I won’t be deprived of anything I need when they go.
Cry. My birth mom died when I was 2 years old and I feel like I never got to know her.
So once my bio dad goes along with my adopted mom, it’s gonna make my abandonment issues even worse.
Its hard. By the time i turned 30 i lost both parents and grandparents. I dont know what im doing. I dont know how ive lasted this long. All i know is since i lost everyone, i just want to go “home” and i dont know where that is anymore. Not without them.
When my dad dies, “oh…that sucks.”
I’m making it my life goal to die before my mom.
Honestly? Probably go die myself.
In a nutshell, I fully expect to be alone until that day comes, with no real goals to speak of. I gave up on finding a significant other, and I’ve mostly given up on finding friends. I can’t find any better work than being a delivery driver. Nobody wants my neurodivergent ass. Hell, neither do I.
Except for my parents. I stay alive because my mom and stepdad would be devastated. But once they’re both gone, nothing’s keeping me here anymore.
Both my parents are dead unfortunately. Honestly I just try to live my life and do things that make me feel good and would make them proud. Mom passed when I was 9 (I’m 28 now). Dad passed away from long covid almost 2 years ago which almost killed me. He was my best friend and biggest support. I honestly couldn’t get out of bed or function for almost the first year he was gone. Like I died too. I still cry sometimes if I think about him too much.
Process for 5 minutes then go about my life.
My mom died a few months ago. I honestly didn’t think I would survive it at first but it gets better slowly. I have leaned on my siblings and friends a lot. My SO has been surprisingly supportive. You think you won’t survive it but you wil.
i love my parents
Be very alone
One already did and I panicked because it was so sudden when I saw her (stroke)
When my mum dies, probably absolutely nothing. I might even be happy or relieved, hard to say. When my dad dies, it will break me. I love him dearly.
I don’t know when it will happen but when my Mum dies I will stop dialysis. I am not married nor do I have children.
Everyone else has their own family. Me out of the way won’t bother them.
Breathe a huge sigh of relief
Go numb, settle their affairs, execute the Will, purchase urns, keep an eye on my brother, maintain their home,and then finally break down properly. Highly likely in Grippy-Sock Jail.
I cried a lot. My partner and I went to Red Robin for lunch and then I went home and slept. It was a weird day. I still cry a lot
Dad? Grieve
Mom? Going W her.
It depends who goes first. If my dad goes first i’ll need to stick around for my mum, she’s going to need help. Then when she goes i’ll arrange the funeral, make sure no one turns up who isnt supposed to, and then once we scatter her ashes i’ll check out early.
If my mum goes first, i’ll be a complete wreck. I’ll stick around for my dad and maybe if theres enough time between both events i’ll begin to heal from my mums death and once my dad goes, if im not a complete mess still i might be able to stay here. But i’m still checking out early, thats just a fact.
When my mum died of cancer in 2018 I felt completely wrecked and didn’t think I could go on. She remains the most positive, important and influential person in my life
In 2020, my dad died of alcohol related illness. I had more feelings of ambivalence heading into the last week of his life. I held vigil and was very surprised to have experienced a quiet and calm over that bunch of days holding space for him, it was not interrupted by lots of people needing to cram in and say goodbye, and it was only really after he passed that I realised I would have liked for mum to have had a gentler last days not characterised by mine and other people’s (hysterical and at times absurdly theatrical) grief
Now that they are both gone I have this strange sense of independence and freedom and I have flourished in my career and personal life
I no longer feel I need to “prove” myself to my hypercritical father. And while I would love nothing more than to share my successes with my mum and literally cannot, I do sometimes have dreams of her where she’s just sitting with me and we feel happy together and I know it’s because I’m doing okay and that’s what has always mattered to her
For my mother, breathe a sigh of relief and hope she has finally found the peace she never managed to sustain in life-we have a very complex relationship. I have been her carer from the age of 4, and our roles have been very much switched.
For my father, I honestly don’t know. Our relationship was horrendously damaged by my mother, and we’re only now somewhat connecting on a deeper level. Until recently, I had heard the words ‘love you’ more often from one of my favourite actresses than my own father; and the last time I heard him say the words in person, he had been forced to do so by my now passed step mother.
Bottom Line? It’s gonna be interesting for me.