In the US we can’t even get good sex ed in most schools to cover the basics (birth control and STDs). Unclear who is supposed to teach the “how to get pregnant faster” section to the high schooler students.
Fertility is a lot more than just age. Averages don’t tell you what your specific individual odds are.
I kept being told how it’s so difficult to get pregnant around 35 or older. Well, we decided to start trying when I was 40. I thought I had a year to prepare – or more – or never. Very first cycle I was pregnant. I was absolutely not ready!? 9 months later we had a perfectly healthy baby girl.
Every woman is different. Women who think they’ll eventually want kids should talk to their gynecologist and do their own research.
Sometimes it’s not the woman at all. Did you know that men have their own sort of biological clock? Sperm DNA quality and motility drop with age. ” A 2020 study found that conception is 30% less likely for men older than 40 than it is for men younger than 30.” https://utswmed.org/medblog/older-fathers-fertility/
Wow. A doctor saying she should’ve started at 26 is so rude and I’d drop that doctor. I do think everyone should be learning more about their bodies, but I’m not exactly sure it’s wise to be telling young girls they need babies before 30 if they want them.
Ehhh I don’t think we need to talk about fertility to high schoolers personally. Just feel like that’s a weird message to send to 14yo girls. It’s a weird message even to 18yos imo.
I don’t disagree that it should be taught, but I just don’t know when exactly would be a good time
Maybe I’m grouchy, but like… the internet exists. “I wish I had known” and “I wish someone would have told me” are cop outs in this day and age. We have the equivalent of a super computer on us at nearly all times that directly links us to not only reputable medical sources, but also millions of other human experiences. Our cellphones have more computing power than the computer on the first space shuttle to land on the moon!
You start with a google search, you make sure your information is coming from reputable sources, you read multiple sources and you note discrepancies, you go to to different discussion boards, you determine how much of the information you took in aligns with what others experience in real life, you talk to the people you know IRL about their experiences, you jot down questions and you take that to the doctor.
May be because I was raised in a very right wing state whose government is very much controlled by the dominant religion here but I grew up with people telling me that I should aim for marriage right out of high school and pop out as many babies as possible before I turned 30…. Thankfully, I didn’t give into pressure because that’s not what I wanted for myself but I have never known a life where my “biological clock” was not constantly thrown in my face. And while it may not be as severe, in say a more progressive state, I’m kind of having a hard time believing there are places where women are completely oblivious to the concept… Especially with the internet. This honestly feels like pro-natalist propaganda. The right has been trying to push for women to forgo education and careers and have babies instead.
I remember having a convo with a male colleague when I was 25 and he was sooooo insistent that I would HAVE to have a baby by 27 and no later. Literally 10 years after that we decided to give it a go and wouldn’t you know I’m having a healthy baby at 37 with like 3 months of trying. The commentary around older parents is so weird
Sex ed that discusses how to boost fertility feels unhinged. It’s supposed to teach you how to not get pregnant or get an STD.
It’s not a parenting or family planning course. It’s a safe sex course for children.
Idk, I think if you’re at all interested in having children, there is some responsibility for an adult person to at least do a quick Google search beforehand or chat with their obgyn at various appointments.
Anecdotally, it seems incredibly common knowledge that it is harder to get pregnant the older you are. But it does seem like the issues surrounding conceiving after 35 are always pinned on the person with the uterus when sperm quality also degrades with time.
So I guess it would be nice if doctors could provide some insight to folks without prompting, but I also think people need to be proactive about big life decisions.
I hate to be like this but I was absolutely told all of the stats in this article. What this article fails to explain is the stuff I had to fight tooth and nail for – that MEN are also at risk for reproductive issues with age, unlike so many chauvinist talking points would outline. Testosterone drops, so does sperm count and motility, and the chances of birth defects and autism go up with age in a similar pattern to women.
And none of that matters when people can’t afford to live without roommates until their late 20s and early 30s. Fertility is affected by circumstance, that’s built right in. Animals have less babies in years of dearth and struggle, and more in years of plenty and peace. I did not even attempt to have a child until 29 because I was not financially stable enough for a kid until then. In the USA, I needed to: Secure a full time job for health benefits, stay on long enough to qualify for FMLA + Short Term Disability/Maternity leave, bank enough savings to pay off my ludicrous medical bills as well as support our family while taking reduced salary, child care costs, and baby supplies. What a fucking pipe dream.
And all that was with an excellent partner, I couldn’t even imagine doing it solo or with dead weight…
I’m sorry, but articles like this infuriate me because they are tone deaf. People won’t shut up about fertility while the world is on fire. High schoolers don’t need more hamfisted sex ed targeting them as breeding stock before they are ready and have fully formed frontal cortexes.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. Sex Ed did not cover fertility. The internet was in its infancy. I still came out of my teens knowing that your early 20s are your best fertile years, and that after 35 it’s a crap shoot. It was like… communicated through cultural osmosis and general knowledge. 🤷♀️
I cant help but wonder just how incurious are these women who claim they “never knew”.
Miscarriage is normal, don’t take it personally unless it’s chronic. Then consult a professional. Not every dna meld is fully successful, think of it as a program with a catastrophic bug. You didn’t write the code, you are not responsible for the bug. Getting supernatural about it just borrows stress that is not helpful.
Comments
In the US we can’t even get good sex ed in most schools to cover the basics (birth control and STDs). Unclear who is supposed to teach the “how to get pregnant faster” section to the high schooler students.
Fertility is a lot more than just age. Averages don’t tell you what your specific individual odds are.
I kept being told how it’s so difficult to get pregnant around 35 or older. Well, we decided to start trying when I was 40. I thought I had a year to prepare – or more – or never. Very first cycle I was pregnant. I was absolutely not ready!? 9 months later we had a perfectly healthy baby girl.
Every woman is different. Women who think they’ll eventually want kids should talk to their gynecologist and do their own research.
Sometimes it’s not the woman at all. Did you know that men have their own sort of biological clock? Sperm DNA quality and motility drop with age. ” A 2020 study found that conception is 30% less likely for men older than 40 than it is for men younger than 30.”
https://utswmed.org/medblog/older-fathers-fertility/
Wow. A doctor saying she should’ve started at 26 is so rude and I’d drop that doctor. I do think everyone should be learning more about their bodies, but I’m not exactly sure it’s wise to be telling young girls they need babies before 30 if they want them.
Ehhh I don’t think we need to talk about fertility to high schoolers personally. Just feel like that’s a weird message to send to 14yo girls. It’s a weird message even to 18yos imo.
I don’t disagree that it should be taught, but I just don’t know when exactly would be a good time
Maybe I’m grouchy, but like… the internet exists. “I wish I had known” and “I wish someone would have told me” are cop outs in this day and age. We have the equivalent of a super computer on us at nearly all times that directly links us to not only reputable medical sources, but also millions of other human experiences. Our cellphones have more computing power than the computer on the first space shuttle to land on the moon!
You start with a google search, you make sure your information is coming from reputable sources, you read multiple sources and you note discrepancies, you go to to different discussion boards, you determine how much of the information you took in aligns with what others experience in real life, you talk to the people you know IRL about their experiences, you jot down questions and you take that to the doctor.
May be because I was raised in a very right wing state whose government is very much controlled by the dominant religion here but I grew up with people telling me that I should aim for marriage right out of high school and pop out as many babies as possible before I turned 30…. Thankfully, I didn’t give into pressure because that’s not what I wanted for myself but I have never known a life where my “biological clock” was not constantly thrown in my face. And while it may not be as severe, in say a more progressive state, I’m kind of having a hard time believing there are places where women are completely oblivious to the concept… Especially with the internet. This honestly feels like pro-natalist propaganda. The right has been trying to push for women to forgo education and careers and have babies instead.
I remember having a convo with a male colleague when I was 25 and he was sooooo insistent that I would HAVE to have a baby by 27 and no later. Literally 10 years after that we decided to give it a go and wouldn’t you know I’m having a healthy baby at 37 with like 3 months of trying. The commentary around older parents is so weird
Sex ed that discusses how to boost fertility feels unhinged. It’s supposed to teach you how to not get pregnant or get an STD.
It’s not a parenting or family planning course. It’s a safe sex course for children.
Idk, I think if you’re at all interested in having children, there is some responsibility for an adult person to at least do a quick Google search beforehand or chat with their obgyn at various appointments.
Anecdotally, it seems incredibly common knowledge that it is harder to get pregnant the older you are. But it does seem like the issues surrounding conceiving after 35 are always pinned on the person with the uterus when sperm quality also degrades with time.
So I guess it would be nice if doctors could provide some insight to folks without prompting, but I also think people need to be proactive about big life decisions.
I hate to be like this but I was absolutely told all of the stats in this article. What this article fails to explain is the stuff I had to fight tooth and nail for – that MEN are also at risk for reproductive issues with age, unlike so many chauvinist talking points would outline. Testosterone drops, so does sperm count and motility, and the chances of birth defects and autism go up with age in a similar pattern to women.
And none of that matters when people can’t afford to live without roommates until their late 20s and early 30s. Fertility is affected by circumstance, that’s built right in. Animals have less babies in years of dearth and struggle, and more in years of plenty and peace. I did not even attempt to have a child until 29 because I was not financially stable enough for a kid until then. In the USA, I needed to: Secure a full time job for health benefits, stay on long enough to qualify for FMLA + Short Term Disability/Maternity leave, bank enough savings to pay off my ludicrous medical bills as well as support our family while taking reduced salary, child care costs, and baby supplies. What a fucking pipe dream.
And all that was with an excellent partner, I couldn’t even imagine doing it solo or with dead weight…
I’m sorry, but articles like this infuriate me because they are tone deaf. People won’t shut up about fertility while the world is on fire. High schoolers don’t need more hamfisted sex ed targeting them as breeding stock before they are ready and have fully formed frontal cortexes.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. Sex Ed did not cover fertility. The internet was in its infancy. I still came out of my teens knowing that your early 20s are your best fertile years, and that after 35 it’s a crap shoot. It was like… communicated through cultural osmosis and general knowledge. 🤷♀️
I cant help but wonder just how incurious are these women who claim they “never knew”.
So many of my career-oriented girlfriends wishes they would have tried sooner – they were never educated about fertility and I feel so bad for them.