I’ve been at my current job for 5 years but as of last month, am in the office 5x per week. Everyone is generally great but the office culture is such that they hold a closer than I would say is normal value to treating coworkers as friends. They will get groups to go on ski trips together, vacation together, hang out on weekends, etc. People generally stay in this office their entire career, so many have known each other since their 20s and are now in their 40s-50s.
For the most part, I am quite a bit younger than everyone so am able to keep a generational boundary/we wouldn’t ever be too close as a result of different life stages.
I am starting to have more coworkers who are my age and I enjoy having what is a more peer-like friendship. However, at times I feel like things shared or asked within this peer set (about family life, finances, mental health, etc) are conversations I would not consider ok for a work-based friendship. Some could be ok in a happy hour setting but others I feel uncomfortable with answering because I do not fully trust this person/hold harsher boundaries than my office culture.
What are work boundaries you hold? Do you always hold them? Have a select few that you trust?
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I’m very open in my office but my co workers aren’t haha some people are open and some aren’t. You don’t have to tell people stuff, they’ll eventually get the hint you aren’t an open book and will probably stop prying and start talking about general things
I’m polite and friendly to my colleagues, but they aren’t my friends and I don’t treat them as such.
I don’t talk personal stuff with them. I don’t meet them outside work for anything.
Boundaries depend on the person. I have always had coworkers who I am genuinely friends with and those who are just coworkers. It’s normal in my field and in every place I’ve worked to become very good friends with at least some coworkers.
I don’t like having friendships at work, especially in a corporate setting. I can’t trust that they won’t tell others by accident or not my info. Hanging out on the weekend and stuff sounds fun in theory, but I’m a different person outside work. I dress differently, makeup is different, I have strong opinions and I like to party. Of course if the company pays for it I’ll go 😂 😂 and be professional.
I don’t dive into too much detail on my weekend plans. I’ll just say I did a hobby or two and ate at this place. I’d never say I went to DC or NYC or I went clubbing and got drunk. I sure as hell don’t talk about my mental state. I’m single so no family talk and I wouldn’t even talk about my family.
Depends on the individual. My best friend is someone at work and we’ve known each other for close to 20 years. Another close friend is close to 20 years younger than me. Opposite-sex friendships I keep more boundaries around since they are all married. But not everyone is a bestie. Just depends.
I think it’s totally fine to keep certain things private, and not feel bad about saying that you’d rather not chat about it.
At one of my day jobs, I got really close with two of my colleagues. I was in one of their weddings even after we both stopped working there! The other one moved to a different org and I now work for him there part-time.
At my other part-time job, my 6 colleagues are all partnered while I’m not. Many of them have young kids, and the ones who don’t are either a lot older than me, or we don’t really work very closely together. My colleagues are pleasant enough and we will chit chat a little in the office, but it’s not super deep. We’ll sometimes talk about things like buying a house or going on a trip, and kids will come up too, but that’s about it.