I’m not sure if attachment theories have to do with it? Especially if you are a fearful or avoidant attachment or just a regular guy.
What scares you most to be in a committed relationship? Do you ever feel like you’re just settling? Or worried that it won’t work? Or you’ll have regrets about?
What’s one thing that will change your mind and take the risk for your relationship? Even when you’re not ready?
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/North_Dinner1601’s post (if available):
I’m not sure if attachment theories have to do with it? Especially if you are a fearful or avoidant attachment or just a regular guy.
What scares you most to be in a committed relationship? Do you ever feel like you’re just settling? Or worried that it won’t work? Or you’ll have regrets about?
What’s one thing that will change your mind and take the risk for your relationship? Even when you’re not ready?
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Losing control of my partner and her being turned against me by outside factors.
My biggest worry is that I’m not enough, it goes for all forms of my relationships in some way.
I have never been in a relationship, but what would worry me the most is the other person realising that they could do better and leaving me.
Codependency
Unless you are psychic, you can never truly know the intentions of your partner.
Might only get in a relationship, if I feel I possess the pairing qualities of an attractive partner
That she’ll find someone that meets her needs better than I do. That doubt permeates every day in my relationship and I strive to do what I can do give her the best as much as I can.
I will only ever take the risk when I am ready to be in a relationship. Being divorced and learning what I had not learned about relationships was eye-opening, to say the least. The worry is that I will be betrayed by her. Luckily, that is not truly something worth worrying about. If you date with the intention of letting someone choose to come back to you, despite there being many opportunities around…then there is less likelihood that betrayal will occur. Very few things in relationships are ever truly certain, since both parties are fallible and changing human beings with their own agency. This is why dating long enough to establish true intimacy – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and so on – is the most important thing for a relationship and resulting marriage to thrive. I have to find someone who chooses me every day even if she was surrounded by every man on earth…and who I would choose if surrounded by every woman on earth. That’s not easy, and it takes time. Patience to find someone like that, that’s the part of relationships that truly worries me.
Keeping her happy. that was always the main issue when I used to date. Every woman I’ve been with eventually got bored of me and left. At this point, I don’t even bother looking for a girlfriend anymore. Haven’t had one in almost 3 years. Keeping another person happy to be with me is too much work. Not for me.
For me it seems all the women I’ve dated will never put in the same effort they want me too constantly keep them entertained like a kid and that gets exhausting bro like if I’m gonna be giving my 100% at least give yours
I had a girl ghost me after telling me how much she loved me for 6 months. That left a mark. Still had to see her around campus mind you. Horror show.
So now I scarred and worried I’ll miss some hidden signs that my wife is going to leave me. But really I just rolled poorly and dated a psychopath when I was 20.