Some coworkers and I went out to a bar a week ago. I asked the girl I have a crush on if she was going and she said she was. My plan was to ask her on a date that night but I wussed out. I ran into her the following Monday twice and both times I either got cut off by someone else or wussed out again. Now I haven’t been able to catch her since and I don’t want the momentum to die. Would it be weird if I just randomly asked her to lunch over messages on the work computers or would that be weird/creepy?
EDIT: I understand it’s best to not date coworkers, I do not care. If that’s all you’re gonna comment I’m going to have to ask you simply refrain. Thank you
Comments
📣 Reminder for our users
>1. Check the rules: Please take a moment to review our rules, Reddiquette, and Reddit’s Content Policy.
>2. Clear question in the title: Make sure your question is clear and placed in the title. You can add details in the body of your post, but please keep it under 600 characters.
>3. Closed-Ended Questions Only: Questions should be closed-ended, meaning they can be answered with a clear, factual response. Avoid questions that ask for opinions instead of facts.
>4. Be Polite and Civil: Personal attacks, harassment, or inflammatory behavior will be removed. Repeated offenses may result in a ban. Any homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, or bigoted remarks will result in an immediate ban.
🚫 Commonly Asked Prohibited Question Subjects:
>1. Medical or pharmaceutical questions
>2. Legal or legality-related questions
>3. Technical/meta questions (help with Reddit)
This list is not exhaustive, so we recommend reviewing the full rules for more details on content limits.
✓ Mark your answers!
>If your question has been answered, please reply with
Answered!!to the response that best fit your question. This helps the community stay organized and focused on providing useful answers.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Asking her to lunch doesn’t have to be weird. I’d probably do it in person. However dating a coworker probably won’t end well, just a word of caution.
She may be all that but as they say, don’t shit where you eat. Co-worker relationships are risky. Maybe admire her from afar for now or maybe another work event will lend itself to something. Proceed with caution.
I’d be very careful, especially if you ask her at work via a work-related messaging system. Just wait until the next group event, and nut up and ask her when away from the office. And, if she turns you down, be respectful and do not do anything that could remotely be construed as stalking.
I would do it in person, after carefully considering whether it is worth it to ask out a coworker. How likely do you think it is that she would be interested? Are you prepared for work to potentially be uncomfortable if she isn’t or if things otherwise don’t work out?
> I asked the girl I have a crush on if she was going and she said she was. <
A girl? Is she like 12?
Maybe you mean ‘a woman’.
Try to avoid work entanglements but if you must…. just walk up to her when she’s alone, tell her that you think she’s awesome and that you’d like to grab a tea or coffee to get to know her better.
That all there is to it.
Lol “I want advice, unless it’s advice I don’t want then don’t bother”
Idk, all of them are married or in relationships.
Use your wuss put as an excuse. Be like, would you like to go to X for lunch with me? I don’t want to go alone.
Dont have a crush on a workmate and if you do keep it to yourself and do not act on it. Asking a girl from work you have a crush on is the cringiest corniest lamest rookie move I can think of. Don’t do it. I swear to god its not smart and as you can see from the OVERWHELMING sentiment from the other answers – work and “crushes” or dates or blah blah DONT MIX. they should be kept apart.
Take a half step. Message her and ask her to join you on a coffee break.
If she accepts, that’s when you shoot your shot, and invite to a future lunch date.
So much overthinking. Just ask her!
if you have to come here for advice then you’re already making it creepy
The actor and radio personality Jrrry Doyle would expose himself on the elevator to potential mates. Does your work have an elevator?
>Would it be weird if I just randomly asked her to lunch over messages on the work computers or would that be weird/creepy?
That purely depends on whether she finds you attractive or not.
Do you like to eat food?
Don’t.
Don’t shit where you eat.
Don’t get your pussy where you get your paycheck.
Don’t dip your pen in the company eat.
All of these colloquialisms exist for a reason.
If you just refuse to listen, definitely do not “just randomly ask her to lunch over messages on the work computers”.
Not a good idea at all.
Don’t use the work messaging system for dating purposes. Just speak to her directly and say I’m heading to such and such a place for lunch. Do you want to join me?
And, as to not dating someone at work? Yes. It can go very badly, but it can also work out. Good luck.
Don’t
If you both had fun ask her to go back to that same place and grab a drink… make it casual so she has the ability to politely decline and not feel like she is being hit on by a coworker.
If she accepts you are good to go… she will absolutely be aware of what you are doing. If she asks who else from the office is going or agrees and is excited for the next work event she is declining your offers and trying to spare your feelings.
I don’t think it is creepy, but I don’t know the work policy on dating coworkers, so my advice would be not to leave a trail and ask her in person. That way neither of you will get in trouble if you date, nor will she ever be able to use it as a harassment claim if things ever go south.
That being said if you really can’t run into her, you can try but remain casual and don’t show romantic interest or start flirting. Best to keep it short like “Hey I enjoyed last outing and was wondering if you would want to grab a bite to eat together on Friday?” Or something along those lines. If she asks “just you and me?” simply go “yeah unless it bothers you?” If she asks “Where?” Be prepared with a few options.
Don’t get discouraged if she rejects you once, but don’t ask her more than twice. After the second rejection depending how she does it (can’t busy) leave it in her hands (alright let me know when you are free). If she doesn’t, you got your answer. (Allow for rejections because sometimes people are busy and genuinely can’t doesn’t mean there is a lack of interest) Best of luck!
Reddit people are always going to err on the side of caution because most of them are anti social nerds who don’t take risks in life. Ask her out bro if it’s the last thing you do, you never know she might have the same feelings for you, you never know if you don’t try.
Your goal should be to just become friends with her first. Asking a coworker to a casual lunch is fine. I definitely wouldn’t frame it as a date. Just say “hey what are you doing for lunch? I was going to go hit _____ if you want to join.”
And then just hangout. Don’t try to make it romantic or anything. Just get to know her on a personal level, and if you feel like there’s some connection there, maybe next week ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work for a happy hour or whatever. Just take it chill.