What would you do…..
ONGOING
My daughter recently confess that she was molested by her older step brother for 10 years. It started when she was 7 and continued into her teens. To be exact 17 years old. He was 7 years older. So when he began molesting her he was 14 she was 7. She is now 27. I never knew. She did tell her step mom that her son was doing this in her middle school years. The step mom did nothing, let him continue to come over . Never confronted him or anything. She let him do this. All the whole praising him as a great outstanding son. The perpetrator now is married and has 3 daughters of his own. His oldest daughter is 9. He stopped molesting my daughter about 9 years ago. Hmmm. This is still very fresh and I have so much anger and not sure how to go about this. My daughter refuses to press charges. She told her dad when she was 20. He also did nothing. My daughter made a comment to me that ” it’s no big deal mom ” it happened it’s in my past……I CAN NOT ACCEPT THAT! Might I add that to me it sounds like they don’t believe her. She’s been going to counseling for a while over it. I was never told about any of it. I woke up to a Facebook post that she made saying she is a survivor of molestation that started when she was seven and lasting for 10 years! I was in total shock! Everyone in my family my mom my sister’s everyone was in total shock none of us knew anything except for her dad’s and her close family that she grew up in. He raised her with the stepmom she has a younger brother two older brothers and the two stepbrothers. This stepmom is portrayed to be mother of the year and might I add we really don’t get along she’s never in my eyes been a good mom been fake the whole time A lot of people don’t see it. I need some advice on… WHAT WOULD YOU DO MY DAUGHTER DON’T WANT ME TO DO ANYTHING I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME ACCEPT THAT
What would you do
r/Advice
Comments
Ok. I understand your anger, but THIS IS ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER. NOT YOU.
This is up to HER. Some victims cannot cope with the extensive questioning, intrusive medical exams and the trauma of reliving everything in court – as well as being hammeted by the defense. If she cannot do this and does not want to – That is HER decision. This is not about you.
I understand your rage as a parent. Nobody loves a child molester.
This is about your daughter. PLEASE support and help her. Honor her decisions even if you disagree. Your sole concern should be helping her heal.
Counseling and support are available for parents and family members of victims. Talk to your doctor, call your local rape crisis center or go to rainn.org
I hope you and your daughter heal!
I recommend that you get some therapy for yourself right now because this is seriously disturbing stuff.
I am so recommend that you spend some time with your daughter and just try to figure out what she wants and how you can love her and how you can support her. The number one most important thing that you can do is to make sure that she understands that you love her and that you support her and that you are on her side no matter what.
When she tells you how she wants things, you need to listen to her and respect her and her wishes. She is not a child anymore and if you don’t respect her and her wishes, it is just one more person who is not respecting her and her boundaries. She doesn’t need any more of that in her life, she has far too much of it and she’s still dealing with it.
Tbh this feels hard wtf that dude did how can he live up happily after doing all this…really it sucks how can he do that…
Everyone deserves to be outed. I’d make sure his wife and family knows, I’d make sure her trash dad and evil stepmom were outed to their community. My lifelong mission would be that everyone in their lives knows what he did and that they get no peace. Call me petty, idc. There is no justice in this world but they definitely don’t deserve any peace or to continue looking like decent folks. I wouldn’t lash out or fight cause they’ll use it to make you look bad. I would post flyers and do everything anonymously. I wouldn’t even tell anyone in my life I’m doing this (everyone tells at least one person).
I’m sorry that your daughter had to experience this for so long and that her father failed her. I’m sorry that you have to live with this now.
What if he does the same to his own daughters !!! Doesn’t bare thinking about.
She told and nothing was done? That is so messed up. I was just watching predator poachers and I would bet he has gross child stuff on his computer. And 3 daughters…