Prepare to meet my maker, and beg forgiveness for my past transgressions. Iām not a Christian, but if the second coming occurred, it would certainly swing me that way.
I don’t like the first coming already. It is possible the World would’ve been better without Christianity although I don’t know for sure. It could’ve developed many ways.
Party like it’s 1999. I was 17 then, wasn’t much of a party, and I demand to be compensated. Also, phew, no worries about possible foreclosure on my house at least. Imma stop paying my mortgage and.. well, party like it’s 1999.
We live in a world full of brokenness, pain, and injustice. Deep inside, we all know something isnāt rightānot just around us, but within us. Thatās because all of us have sinned and fallen short of Godās perfect standard (Romans 3:23). Sin separates us from God and leads to deathāboth physical and spiritual. On our own, thereās nothing we can do to fix this or earn our way back to Him (Romans 6:23).
But God, in His deep love and mercy, made a way for us. He sent His Son, Jesus Christāfully God and fully manāto live a perfect, sinless life. Jesus willingly gave His life on the cross, taking the punishment we deserved. Three days later, He rose from the dead, conquering sin and death forever (1 Corinthians 15:3ā4).
This is the Good News: Jesus died for our sins, was buried, and rose again so that anyone who believes in Him can be saved. Salvation is a giftāit cannot be earned through good deeds. Itās given freely by God to those who trust in Jesus (Ephesians 2:8ā9).
If you believe in Jesus Christ and what He has done for you, you are brought into a new relationship with God. You are forgiven, made new, and given eternal life. Jesus said, āWhoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment but has passed from death to lifeā (John 5:24).
No matter who you are or where youāve been, or what youāve done, this message is for you. Trust in Jesus today. In Him, there is true hope, peace, and everlasting life. Feel free to DM me if you just need to chat or have any questions. God bless you all!
Inform God that he’s got about 10,000 years of child support to pay back. He doesn’t get to fuck around for a bit in the beginning and then dip when the real parenting begins.
Well I am baptised but a non-believer, so I guess if it did happen and was somehow confirmed to be legitimate, then I’d run on over to my nearest Catholic church, repent my sins and go on with my life, safe in the knowledge that there is in fact a heaven, and we don’t just end in darkness as worm food.
Have him resserect my dead homie. Maybe turn some water into wine, go pick on some Pharisees, wash each other’s feet and break some bread, go fishing, the usual.
Im just gonna keep on living my life and not worry about it. I’ve seen how all these “Christians” who think they’re going to heaven behave and honestly, if they go to heaven then I’ll happily go to hell.Ā
I think the rules as written mean itās too late to ask for forgiveness and all that jazz so Iām going to go full survivor mode and see how long I can last in the hunger games for real
Is the second coming just jesus showing up again? I dont think id do anything, poor jesus would find himself diagnosed as schizophrenic this time around, heād need some impressive breaking the laws of physics miracles too
I would continue as normal…..let the good Christians ascend to heaven or whatever…after those 5 people are gone the world would spin on….
It’d be fun to watch what happens to all the self professed American Christians that have been worshipping the orange idiot and/or money and be glad I’m not in any of those cults …
Iām ready and would be so happy to be called home. I would also call or text everyone I love that does not have a relationship with Jesus and hopefully they accept Christ. Iām not perfect but Iām pray Iām perfect enough for Him.
Won’t happen till most of the 10 major signs happen! The anti christ hasn’t even shown up. Not to mention, the trumpet won’t be blown till after the release of Gog & Magog…..
Wouldnāt be surprised. The anti-Christ ( Donald Trump , and if you donāt believe that wait for the moment when he says we should all have chips in our hands to do businesses with each other ) was saved by the devil when he moved the assassins bullet by a hair so Donald appeared to be saved by god but didnāt it exalt and make him leader of the whole world actually? Everything is happening according to revelations
Let him know heās fuckin fired for being a good for nothing lazy piece of shit that scams people out of 10% and offers absolutely nothing in return for 99% and never answers customer service calls, texts, or emails.
If God was sold on Amazon, heād get a 0/5 rating from me.
Iāll definitely go to hell, cause Iām the worst kind of sinner. I grew up believing, and I still do, but I witnessed my godly, faithful dad suffer horribly for three years before he passed away. Innocent children are starving to death and it seems the fucking billionaire class and their minions are supporting their suffering. My wife and I had to say goodbye to our beautiful daughter in January, the most loving and caring 24 year old I’ve ever known. The suffering allowed by a supposedly omnipotent God,I had to make a moral decision. He sucks,I fucking hate him, and I can’t wait to meet him in hell.
Probably rebel against god. Revelations is torture porn that seeks to harm people simply for not accepting Jesus. Plenty of good people exist without christian faith, and he is an evil and cruel god for doing so.
Crazy how I ask a couple questions yet I get attacked by so many of you all claiming the be on the right side of things yet all youāre doing is being hateful, being hypocrites lol canāt even have a normal discussion. God bless.
Laugh and laugh and laugh, and check around, since if there’s a group of people who think the second coming’s actually happening, there must be something like large-scale carbon monoxide poisoning (or some other drug-induced hallucinating) going on. lol
If I want to see him I’d better hurry because you know damn well ICE is going to deport the guy to El Salvador or some MAGA will straight up shoot his hippie ass.
Roll my eyes, close reddit, and go back to playing video games while bitching to my man how the karma farmers always repost the shit out every damned thing that gets a little traction, because I wouldn’t believe it, I would just think that’s what was going on lol
No small part of the day would be spent reflecting on the awful irony of all the good people who get left behind, while so many evil-ass Evangelicals get invited to the party.
Who do I talk to about meeting God? I have a number of questions and need a ton more answers. Let’s just say I have notes on God’s work and work ethic.
Comments
Probably wouldn’t be on the guest list
Definitely gonna pull a no call no show at work!
š„š¹šš³š„
Be thrown in the lake of fire
Do nothing. Work proceeds as normal. Weāve seen this situation before.
Iād reach out to my ex and apologize
When was the first?
Uninstalling everything. Especially Twitter š
Prepare to meet my maker, and beg forgiveness for my past transgressions. Iām not a Christian, but if the second coming occurred, it would certainly swing me that way.
Saying my name In a deep voice š
Nothing.
Never gunna happen, so no one has to worry.
I have many questions for this absentee god
I’m Probably Cookedššš
I don’t like the first coming already. It is possible the World would’ve been better without Christianity although I don’t know for sure. It could’ve developed many ways.
Have a lot of questions
I would be REALLY surprised!
Since there never was a first coming…. nada
Be glad I donāt have to do laundry
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Well technically the anti-christ would come first so it probably wouldnāt be Jesus if it happened tomorrow
Get left behind.
Wait for Trump to slap a tariff on him !
They’re already here. It’s coming. Hold tight. There’s more than just one.
Wash it off and berate myself for maturating two times in one day
probably never even hear about it while they lock him up in a prison in El Salvadore
Go home.
Hope the office is closed
I’d hope to be on the list but chances are I’m dying and not going to a good place.
I would be very shocked and have no choice but to admit I was wrong
It won’t happen. It’ll never happen, because it can’t happen, and there ain’t no Jesus, folks.
Pat myself on the back for being able to go two rounds in the sack!
Probably Wipe it off with a towel and rinse off in the shower as usual? š¤·āāļø
Wave bye-bye to all the raptured and then go to work.
Which one?
Who’s coming?
Party like it’s 1999. I was 17 then, wasn’t much of a party, and I demand to be compensated. Also, phew, no worries about possible foreclosure on my house at least. Imma stop paying my mortgage and.. well, party like it’s 1999.
Act surprised. Really surprised!
Nothing.
What is a second coming?
Proceed as normal. My rent will still come due at the end of the month
Die
When dead come to life, reality will be unhinged. I guess I will be too. I am going to visit my elderly mom, and take it from there.
Same thing I do every day. Keep calling out charlatans and false prophet carpetbaggers.Ā
Just another celebrity/narcissist making headlines. Iād go back to whatever I was doing before.
Offer him a tissue.
Cry in relief
Be really pissed I studied for finals for nothing
Be the third coming….
We live in a world full of brokenness, pain, and injustice. Deep inside, we all know something isnāt rightānot just around us, but within us. Thatās because all of us have sinned and fallen short of Godās perfect standard (Romans 3:23). Sin separates us from God and leads to deathāboth physical and spiritual. On our own, thereās nothing we can do to fix this or earn our way back to Him (Romans 6:23).
But God, in His deep love and mercy, made a way for us. He sent His Son, Jesus Christāfully God and fully manāto live a perfect, sinless life. Jesus willingly gave His life on the cross, taking the punishment we deserved. Three days later, He rose from the dead, conquering sin and death forever (1 Corinthians 15:3ā4).
This is the Good News: Jesus died for our sins, was buried, and rose again so that anyone who believes in Him can be saved. Salvation is a giftāit cannot be earned through good deeds. Itās given freely by God to those who trust in Jesus (Ephesians 2:8ā9).
If you believe in Jesus Christ and what He has done for you, you are brought into a new relationship with God. You are forgiven, made new, and given eternal life. Jesus said, āWhoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment but has passed from death to lifeā (John 5:24).
No matter who you are or where youāve been, or what youāve done, this message is for you. Trust in Jesus today. In Him, there is true hope, peace, and everlasting life. Feel free to DM me if you just need to chat or have any questions. God bless you all!
As if dude wouldn’t be crucified again immediately.
just straight crank my hogggggggg
Hey I think thereās been a slight
miscalculationmisunderstanding.Inform God that he’s got about 10,000 years of child support to pay back. He doesn’t get to fuck around for a bit in the beginning and then dip when the real parenting begins.
I wasn’t gullible enough to believe in the first
I’d be that old man in the oil tanker from Waterworld. Oh,thank god.
Grab a lawn chair and a cooler of beer and watch Maga folks try to get into Heaven.
Usually too tired to come twice.
Well I am baptised but a non-believer, so I guess if it did happen and was somehow confirmed to be legitimate, then I’d run on over to my nearest Catholic church, repent my sins and go on with my life, safe in the knowledge that there is in fact a heaven, and we don’t just end in darkness as worm food.
Assume itās some alien conspiracy
Have him resserect my dead homie. Maybe turn some water into wine, go pick on some Pharisees, wash each other’s feet and break some bread, go fishing, the usual.
I live in a bit of a bible belt. (well, by Canadian standards, anyway).
I’d probably just get a laugh out of how many true believers are still here.
Im just gonna keep on living my life and not worry about it. I’ve seen how all these “Christians” who think they’re going to heaven behave and honestly, if they go to heaven then I’ll happily go to hell.Ā
Wonder how long it would take all the Republicans and Christians to crucify Jesus again.
I think the rules as written mean itās too late to ask for forgiveness and all that jazz so Iām going to go full survivor mode and see how long I can last in the hunger games for real
Is the second coming just jesus showing up again? I dont think id do anything, poor jesus would find himself diagnosed as schizophrenic this time around, heād need some impressive breaking the laws of physics miracles too
I would continue as normal…..let the good Christians ascend to heaven or whatever…after those 5 people are gone the world would spin on….
It’d be fun to watch what happens to all the self professed American Christians that have been worshipping the orange idiot and/or money and be glad I’m not in any of those cults …
If He appeared in the US they would have Him on a flight to El Salvador before He got a chance to speak.
Google what i can expect of the festivities.
Ignore it
Watch MAGA nail him right back up on the cross where they can shut him up and praise his sacrifice.
Put money on his getting killed by Christians
I would keep complaining about the trump Reich because you know he isn’t getting raptured.
Go to hell because I am an atheist.Ā
Enjoy it while it lasts then wait to come for a third time.
Eat my hat and call myself Nancy.
It happened in 1844.
Wake up from a dream because flat earth shit isn’t real.
“I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times and began again in the morning”. – Nayyirah Waheed
Log in to work.
Second coming of what?
Tell sky daddy that heās a very bad man, and send him to the cornfield to think about the evils he committed against humanity.
What is a second coming? What was the first?
Iām ready and would be so happy to be called home. I would also call or text everyone I love that does not have a relationship with Jesus and hopefully they accept Christ. Iām not perfect but Iām pray Iām perfect enough for Him.
Just like Lucy, I would have done splaining to do
Be shocked because there was no first coming
I’d probably just ask what that is
Won’t happen till most of the 10 major signs happen! The anti christ hasn’t even shown up. Not to mention, the trumpet won’t be blown till after the release of Gog & Magog…..
Iād be simultaneously relieved and annoyed. On one hand I just got into my dream college. On the other, no more politics after this lol
Wouldnāt be surprised. The anti-Christ ( Donald Trump , and if you donāt believe that wait for the moment when he says we should all have chips in our hands to do businesses with each other ) was saved by the devil when he moved the assassins bullet by a hair so Donald appeared to be saved by god but didnāt it exalt and make him leader of the whole world actually? Everything is happening according to revelations
Let him know heās fuckin fired for being a good for nothing lazy piece of shit that scams people out of 10% and offers absolutely nothing in return for 99% and never answers customer service calls, texts, or emails.
If God was sold on Amazon, heād get a 0/5 rating from me.
Wondering what will happen to Orange Blob supportersā¦
We’re in the second ” coming.”
i have a long list of questions, and i want some accountability!
I would be like āSo when is the Third Coming?ā
Iām an atheist, so nothing šš»
Boot up Skyrim.
Probably find a new car that might be fun to drive.
you really think anyone would believe Jesus if we saw him in 2025? the public would bury that guy under the mental institution.
Probably drugs
Jork my shit
Depends… are my kids still here?
If a god leaves behind children to suffer, then fuck that god.
We go to war. Against it.
As in the second coming of Christ? I’m gonna debate him.
Wonder what happened to the refractory period.
Smoke a joint and wave goodbye to friends.
Read stories about how Jesus has been sent to El Salvador.
Wave bye bye to hateful earth destroying Christians and enjoy the planet without them.
Iāll definitely go to hell, cause Iām the worst kind of sinner. I grew up believing, and I still do, but I witnessed my godly, faithful dad suffer horribly for three years before he passed away. Innocent children are starving to death and it seems the fucking billionaire class and their minions are supporting their suffering. My wife and I had to say goodbye to our beautiful daughter in January, the most loving and caring 24 year old I’ve ever known. The suffering allowed by a supposedly omnipotent God,I had to make a moral decision. He sucks,I fucking hate him, and I can’t wait to meet him in hell.
Let me come first then I’ll have clarity for the second
I dont know what that would entail
watch it on tiktok lives
Make some popcorn and watch what he’s about to do to “Christian” republicans.
The second coming of what? Cinderella?
Mock all the people who didn’t get raptured and were sure that they were going to be
Probably rebel against god. Revelations is torture porn that seeks to harm people simply for not accepting Jesus. Plenty of good people exist without christian faith, and he is an evil and cruel god for doing so.
Wait what, second?
What about the first! – Donāt cut me out like that, itās all about build up.
I usually only need about 15 minutes after the first
Get the popcorn and watch the world tear itself apart.
Freaking rejoice and live like a hippie.
I guess I’d say hi.
hell im on my third coming today!
Crazy how I ask a couple questions yet I get attacked by so many of you all claiming the be on the right side of things yet all youāre doing is being hateful, being hypocrites lol canāt even have a normal discussion. God bless.
Give myself an hour so I can do a third coming.
I’ll have plenty of water prepared to be converted to wine.
Clear my browser history.
Probably search abandoned houses for goods and money
Clean up with the nearest towel.
Laugh as all the so called chosen people get sent to hell, from all 3 of the big religions.
Talk about egg on my face. But really heād be booted from the US for being an illegal alien communist pinko.
Be mad that it happened on the 6th of the month instead of the 29th. Is satan go to prorate my rent? Think he does some sort of PayPal reimbursement?
Ask myself how long ago I dropped that tab
Be happy. I would laugh in the faces of atheists and those who mocked God, but they are getting punishment either way.
Well then, I went to work for nothing today!
Im definitely going to hell my so many āChristiansā will too
Laugh and laugh and laugh, and check around, since if there’s a group of people who think the second coming’s actually happening, there must be something like large-scale carbon monoxide poisoning (or some other drug-induced hallucinating) going on. lol
If I want to see him I’d better hurry because you know damn well ICE is going to deport the guy to El Salvador or some MAGA will straight up shoot his hippie ass.
Roll my eyes, close reddit, and go back to playing video games while bitching to my man how the karma farmers always repost the shit out every damned thing that gets a little traction, because I wouldn’t believe it, I would just think that’s what was going on lol
Iād be dust. End of story.
Go to work lol
My work probably wants me to come in, so work I guess
Celebrate as hell! Do you know the last time I came more than once in a day? But then, my penis would be sore as hellā¦
Laugh at all of the self proclaimed Christians about to find their hypocritical asses left behind.
Watch with popcorn while all religions people imagined fight over who it really belongs to.
Was there a first coming? I’m here to debate that.
No small part of the day would be spent reflecting on the awful irony of all the good people who get left behind, while so many evil-ass Evangelicals get invited to the party.
Who do I talk to about meeting God? I have a number of questions and need a ton more answers. Let’s just say I have notes on God’s work and work ethic.
Rejoice that all the Christians will be gone
Sit back and watch what happens to the orange manās āChristianā supporters.