You’ve been with your partner for about 30 years and have children who will soon be adults. Suddenly, you discover they cheated on you several years ago, before you even had children. What do you do? Do you leave them?
What would you do if you discovered your long-term partner cheated on you years ago, but hasn’t done it again?
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/AdelCraft’s post (if available):
You’ve been with your partner for about 30 years and have children who will soon be adults. Suddenly, you discover they cheated on you several years ago, before you even had children. What do you do? Do you leave them?
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100% get my kids DNA tested.
Absolutely
You only found out about that time. There are most likely others.
Leave them, if they can lie about this massive thing and cover it up for years, then they’re liars and they clearly don’t have a guilty conscious.
Can you trust them not to lie about anything again?
The kids are grown, which makes the split easier
No, why would I throw away a seemingly good marriage over something that happened years ago? I’d be really upset, but if the alternative is throwing away this marriage, I’d be stupid not to eventually realize that my life is better staying.
DNA test the kids and bounce immediately. The fact that the kids in this scenario are adults makes the leaving 1000x easier. No-brainer.
I personally won’t believe them about it only being once off. Also,how would one only find out after 30 years??Were there no signs?Gut feelings?etc… Definitely getting divorced.
I can’t say I’d leave them. I’ve been married 14 years and if I found it she cheated year one, it would be rough. Really bad. But to say I’d divorce her isn’t realistic. A lot of factors would play but I don’t think it would be the end.
So , I just found out they lied to me for years as well as cheat? I could never believe them again. Who says they didn’t do it again? They have been lying for years
If they didn’t come clean, leave.
Live is too short to be spent on low character people.
Depends on if they confessed themselves or if i found out on my own. If they confessed, that means there’s a chance of me trusting them again. If i found out myself, that means i can never ever trust anything they did or say up until me finding out and after. People do dumb shit and can change.
Just tell him you or your mom cheated and deal with the consequences.
Forgiveness. If you cant forgive your life partner it doesn’t last a life time.
See ya later alligator
Nothing, not a thing. it happened years ago and they have stuck by me for the biggest part of 30 years. i would not do anything.
Trust is broken. What other shady shit has she done? What will she do if she thinks she can get away with it? End of relationship for me
I’d be out. You would have been living a lie for all that time thinking things were great and then it’s not. You’d have to wonder what else they did and didn’t tell you over that time.
Leave immediately. This is why you always check his phone and whereabouts. I really don’t give a rip if people are like “Oh wah wah trust your partner – you don’t have trust you don’t have anything, wah wah.” FUCK THAT. Ladies, I have a wonderful husband who always shows up but life has taught me men will get away with what you let them. Protect yourself. Check the damn phone. Leave immediately if you find anything sketchy even if it financially ruins him. Always have a PLAN B.
If I can be 100% certain it’s only happened once and never again, I probably come to terms with it.
Leave! Your entire relationship has been a lie. How can you even believe they haven’t done it (or anything they’ve said) again since you were betrayed?
I’d leave.
The issue with cheaters isn’t that they can’t change, it’s that you can never believe they’ve changed.
Goodbye.
An affair that was repetitive and occurred on multiple occasions? I would probably dip. A one off moment of madness Vs however many years of marriage? I’m staying.
Get dna tests and ask for an easy seperation.
I would DNA the children. If they are mine, I will stay. If they are not, I’m gone
I’m assuming that enough time has elapsed and that everything is good between us.
I’d have an open discussion and I’d ask EVERY question I could.
I’d reserve the right to revisit and rediscuss.
I’d get on with life as if nothing happened.
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I would probably divorce.
Leave. It’s rare that it only happens once and I wouldn’t take my chances
So some people will look at this as one lie (completely valid) and some people will look at this as a long term lie (completely valid). If you focus on the length it’s easy to leave. If you focus on it being one random time it may be easier to say for some. Hope this helps. It’s up to you.
I would probably ask for a divorce, the chance of having cheated on other occasions is very high.
I would/could never trust them again.
Don’t matter when they cheated if you just found out does it really matter if it was 10 years ago or today they took your choice away if you found out 10 years ago would you have stayed