my boyfriend (24) and i (22) have been dating a little over a year now. i met his dad (hes in his late 60s) about 6 months into our relationship, he lives in houston so he doesn’t see his dad much. when we first arrived to his house, he pulled up at the exact same time. he didn’t mention my existence or even look in my direction, same thing while entering the home. he was only speaking to my boyfriend. we went outside for a bit and i was playing with his 2 dogs, his dad came outside and STILL doesn’t acknowledge me. me and my boyfriend come inside and his dad wanted us to sit on the couch. i’m not even joking… a literal interrogation occurs. me and my boyfriend are sitting next to eachother and his dad and step mom are sitting across on the other couch across the room. he asks me 2 questions… how we met and what i do for work. he then asks me if i am religious. i said no im not religious but i dont force my beliefs onto his son. his entire mood changes and he doesn’t ask me anymore questions after that and sends me and my boyfriend upstairs…he also made us sleep in separate rooms-which i didn’t care about, i understand but still weird since we’re both adults. he doesn’t talk to us anymore that night, we wake up and he’s gone. we then leave to go back home in austin. such a weird and unwelcoming experience and it hurt my feelings big time and it still does. i talked to my bf about it immediately otw home and told him it hurt my feelings and he apologized.
my boyfriend did tell me it’s because im not religious. which is frustrating because i am an amazing person and i was nothing but nice to his dad and it sucks that just because im not religious, he doesn’t want anything to do with me or get to know me more. i treat his son well and love him to the fullest. it’s just really really hurtful and i cry about it a lot.
fast forward to now. his dad constantly invites my boyfriend and bf’s daughter over and never asks if i can come. he came to our town for a work event and invited my boyfriend to dinner and didnt ask if i could join. i just find it disrespectful.
boyfriend says he understands but he really doesn’t because my family absolutely adores him. and if we lived far from my parents they would 100000% ask how he’s doing and invite both of us over, not just me.
Comments
He doesn’t have to like you but your boyfriend letting him actively exclude you is wild. If your partner won’t set the boundary then you’re dating both of them at this point.
Your feelings are valid, it’s tough when families don’t accept you for who you are.
What sort of advice are you looking for?
He’s not likely to change his parent’s behavior and has a kid from a former relationship at the age of 24 that he probably needs their help with.
Your relationship with them is not his priority. What do you want him to do? Is that reasonable for him to do?
your boyfriend really needs to stand up for you here and while I get father and son time he needs to make sure that YOU are respected too. If he cant do that, youl would be committing to entering a broken family because that father will not change on his own.