Me and this girl were together for a few months. We then split up because I had some mental health issue that I was struggling with, that caused me to let her down in quite a big way – I cancelled a trip last minute that really ruined an important date for her.
I broke it off because I didn’t feel like I could be in a relationship.
I’ve since gone and got therapy, and I’m feeling so much better in myself. I realised she is absolutely the one for me, and I’ve tried to get her back. She seems open to it. We’ve been going out as friends and I’ve demonstrated changes that I’ve made.
I’ve asked her out again and expressed my serious interest in having a relationship. She said yes.
However, she had a few dates with other people lined up, already arranged. She said it would be disrespectful to them to cancel, and she’s putting herself first by seeing what the vibe is like with them.
I guess that’s kind of fair enough. She’s single, I messed her around so she’s allowed to see what else was out there.
But I don’t know, i feel like if she was still really interested in me, she’d have cancelled.
Anyway she goes out on these dates. She’s texting me all throughout, telling me how its going. I guess that’s quite nice. Maybe she’s thinking of me.
End result is – she tells me that none of them are as much fun as me, and she didn’t feel a vibe with any of them. She still seems really interested in us going out.
But then she says – on one of the dates, as they were saying goodbye, she kissed one of them. Not like a cheek goodbye kiss, but a proper kiss.
For some reason, that’s bothered me. Going out on dates to see your options before letting me back into her life is kind of fair. I thought maybe she was only doing it because she didn’t want to cancel plans and disrespect them. I kind of admired those morals a bit.
It did make me feel like she’s not 100% interested in me if she’s even entertaining them but I don’t have an automatic right to just turn up and expect her to drop everyone else. So I can deal with that.
But kissing someone? Doesn’t that mean a bit more?
She’s talking to me a lot now, we’re arranging to go out, I think she seems like she wants to get back together – but for some reason, that kiss is bothering me.
Am I overreacting to it?
Comments
People will have different views on this, but to me it’s expected.
You’re the one who broke up with her when she wanted you. Now you’re back and expect her to drop the guys who are interested in her? I think it’s fair to have options to ensure that you won’t just drop her again if something happens. But if it’s bothering you then you can end things (again).
I didn’t read your body text, but to answer the title, I wouldn’t care as long as we weren’t together. I wouldn’t be exclusive either if I liked someone but we hadn’t started dating. It’s only when I’m in a relationship that I’d have a problem with that (although at that point it’d be a dealbreaker).
Well I’ve been in the situation before when an old friends sister had showed some interest in me, she was always dating someone else, so usually I just don’t take to it and not even consider taking interested in them.